Since the five years I have had my C-section, I was told many times that I should just be grateful my baby was okay, and I should get over the negative feelings that I had regarding the experience. I noticed that almost every woman who responded to my questions had something about her C-section that she was not happy about, or had been unprepared for.
I think our society is very harsh with mothers who have given birth by C-section in this regard. A C-section not only brings a new life into the world, but it is also a major abdominal surgery. If a heart patient has a negative experience with heart surgery, their feelings are usually not discounted and told to get over it. Of course all mothers are happy their babies are born healthy, whether they are born vaginally or by C-section. But that does not, and should not invalidate any negative feelings a mother may have giving birth by a surgical procedure.
Simply saying a mother should get over it, and be happy her baby is healthy is like telling a survivor of an awful car wreck, “at least you didn’t die,” or “you should be happy you are alive.” That is a given- but the pain and trauma from the experience also needs be to validated in order for the survivor to heal. We acknowledge the pain and suffering of car accident victims all the time. We do not invalidate the victim’s feelings just because they are alive.
Yet that is what happens to women over and over again, who share their negative C-section feelings. Their feelings are invalidated and they are told and expected to dishonor any negative feelings they have about their C-section births.
Birth is one of the most powerful things a woman experiences- what kind of message does that send to a mother when she is told her feelings she has regarding her C-section are not valid?
The C-section rate continues to rise in the United States every year. According to Childbirth Connection, in 1965 the C-section rate was 4.5%. It is estimated that when the 2007 figures are released, they will show the rate over 30%, or one in three births are a C-section. In some hospitals, the C-section rate is 50%.
My C-section made me doubt my body. I trusted my doctor more than myself. Doctors are experts in medical procedures, and we are all grateful to have them for medical emergencies. However, women are the experts on their bodies. For thousands of years, midwives- other women- assisted during birth. Birth is normally not a medical experience or emergency. Yet, that is how the entire process is generally approached. Women are made to feel that they are not capable of giving birth without a doctor present in a hospital.
Ina May Gaskin, one of the most famous midwives in the world, who has her own birthing center in Tennessee, did not have a woman who needed a C-section until the 187th birth that she attended. The next C-section birth didn’t come until after the 300th birth. Contrast that with one in three births being a C-section today.
It is my opinion that women are losing the ability to believe that their bodies can give birth, and birth is not a medical condition. Add to this, the women that are told to “get over” their negative birth experiences and not acknowledge their feelings. How does this attitude in our society prepare a woman for her next birth? How does this psychologically affect her? Is she more likely to believe in her body for the next birth or decide she needs a C-section?
C-sections have their place, and I am the first to acknowledge that. But with every C-section that is performed that is not a true medical emergency, I believe we are teaching women and girls- the next generation- that their bodies are inadequate- incapable of giving birth without a major surgery. As long as women allow doctors to make the calls for them, the C-section rate will continue to grow, and our choices for birth diminish.
Women need to support each other and share their birth experiences. Perhaps one story of a successful VBAC will encourage another woman to try a VBAC. One story of a woman’s experience with a C-section will help another woman avoid one. We can support each other and learn from one another. By sharing the good and the bad of our birth experiences, we lay the groundwork for allowing women and girls to trust their bodies. After all, women are the experts in childbirth. Who better to learn about birth from than another woman who has experienced it?
Karen Walker, a midwife, believes that “obstetricians will continue to encouraging the birthing mom to sacrifice her body on the operating room table until women begin to take the responsibility of her birth upon herself.” She says, “Doctors will get off their pedestals only when women get off their knees.”
The Unnecesarean.com was the first place this week that I read about Lauren Plante of Thomas Jefferson University’s essay, Mommy, What Did You Do in the Industrial Revolution? In her essay Plante compares industrial obstetrics with the industrial revolution. One profound statement she made when comparing modern obstetrics:
Industrial obstetrics strips the locus of power definitively away from women. The history of childbirth in America reflects a persistent trend of increased control by physicians and increased medicalization. Childbirth moves, first, out of the home, and now out of the vagina. (bold print mine)
It is interesting to note that Lauren Plante is an OB/GYN.
It is my hope by sharing my C-section experience, other women’s experiences, and by continuing to write about C-sections, that women who are considering a C-section for a non-medical emergency, can find real life experiences, thoughts, and information from other women that will enable them to trust their bodies can give birth.
We each are given the power over our bodies. The power is there- in all of us- to give birth to our babies. We have to trust that our bodies can do what they were made for. We have to get the information we need to feel confident in our bodies. When will we feel we have given enough of our birthing power and choices over to the medical industry? When the C-section rate nationally is at 5o percent? 75 percent? 100 percent?
It is every woman’s right to attempt the birth experience that she feels is best for her baby and herself. Please don’t give that right over blindly to a doctor simply because they are a doctor. If you don’t want a C-section only because your baby is breech, then do what I didn’t do- fight to preserve that right. Seek out midwives or another doctor. If you are told your hospital doesn’t allow VBAC’s, and you want one, do what I did- find another hospital that allows it. You don’t have to settle for a birth option, just because a doctor says that is the only way.
If we, as women don’t demand better from our doctors and hospitals, then we, and our daughters, will never get anything better from them. We will never get better choices, better information, better treatment, and ultimately better births.
The proud Mommy
