Categories
Cole Current Events Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan School

Wanted For Christmas-Socks With No Holes: Five Years Later

Five years ago, my sister, Mara, sent me an email about her second grade students, in an impoverished school. She sent some of their letters they had written to Santa. The letters were heartbreaking- kids were asking not for phones, X-Boxes, or video games. They wanted coats, food, jobs for their parents, and the one request that went straight to my heart from the little boy, who only asked for “socks with no holes in them.”

She asked me if I could post her request for donations on my blog, so she could help give these kids some sort of a Christmas. It was the least I could do.

A few weeks later, Mara, told me excitedly that one of the officers, Seargent Alex, at Buckley Air Force Base in Aurora, CO had read my blog post regarding her school, responded to the call, and the officers and their families in his unit, were “adopting” her classroom, to bring these students gifts. Mara didn’t originally get the first message he left for her at the school. It was a bad connection and she couldn’t make out the number he had left. I wrote another post, asking if Seargent Alex was still reading my blog, to please call Mara again- she needed the help. He ended up seeing the post, and contacted her again. He put in effort to make this happen.

I remember feeling amazed, happy, and proud, that the few minutes I took to post her request on my blog- someone who wanted to help, reached out and helped children who otherwise would not have a Christmas- have a day they would never forget.

It was a particularly bright moment for me, because at the time, my marriage was crumbling, for a variety of reasons. I remember telling my now ex-husband about Mara’s room, the gifts, about Seargent Alex finding my blog, and all the help his unit was giving Mara’s classroom. He looked at me and said, “Who would ever want to read your blog? Don’t they have anything better to do in the Air Force?” Anyone who writes, knows you put a lot of yourself into your writing, and it hurt to hear that.  But, I was determined to stay focused on the positive-someone had read the post, and wanted to help.  I knew Seargent Alex had read my blog-of course he had better things to do, but this was important to him, as it was to me.

Over the years, I’ve helped Mara shop for the kids, posted the blog story again and again, help her with the drive, answer emails- anything she asked me, I tried to help out with the best I could. I have helped her do everything but actually show up on the day. I was always working. I wanted to take Ryan and Cole with me, but they were always in school.

This year, Ryan and Cole’s school was out a few days before Mara’s gift drive for her kids. I decided to just make it happen. I asked Mara what else her class needed and she said pencil sharpeners. Her kids only have 1 or 2 pencils, and if the lead breaks at home, they don’t do their homework. When she has given them mechanical pencils, their older siblings take them, because they don’t have pencils. So Ryan, Cole, and I got on Amazon, and picked out a bulk package of pencil sharpeners. It came to a whole $6. Ryan and Cole split the cost, and paid for them out of their allowance.

Yesterday, we finally got to Mara’s room for the gift drive. Ryan and Cole started handing out the sharpeners. We had enough to give each student 3. The kids were squealing and saying, “These are so cool,” like they were receiving something much more than a small pencil sharpener. They started changing the lids around to make a “Bronco” sharpener- blue and orange. Ryan came over to whisper to me, “they are so happy, Mom, over a pencil sharpener.” I told him yes, and he helped make them happy.

Ryan playing Santa
Ryan playing Santa

The four officers from Buckley Air Force, who came that first year, with Seargent Alex, with gifts for my sister’s class, has grown since that first year in 2008.  Yesterday there were more than 30 Air Force Officers, at the school for gifts for the ENTIRE second grade. They had coats, mittens, toys, food, smiles, hugs, and love for these kids. I never would have imagined that afternoon; a simple blog post could have grown into something that it has.

I found out from Mara too, that Seargent Alex is no longer in active duty. I was sad to hear that, and sad I was never able to meet him. But then she said, “But he’s here today. He comes every year, and still helps out. He’s here with his wife and toddler son.”

For the first time yesterday, I met Seargent Alex. He said he had been looking for a way to help, people who really needed it, and it was actually difficult to do so! He said he had checked with various organizations, and they all asked him to just drop off a check. But he wanted to actually do something. He said he came across my blog then, and knew he had to call Mara. I thanked him, for all of this over the years, and he thanked me for writing the post.

Sargent Alex and I, 12.20.12
Sargent Alex and I, 12.20.12

For me, it has come full circle.  I set out to help Mara five years ago- never expecting anything to come from it like this, it has ended up helping me. Just always knowing one person like the “Seargent Alex’s” of the world are out there, willing, able, and lovingly ready to help. When people tell you what you do, will never make a difference, Mara’s gift drive for her second grade students, the people like Seargent Alex, and all the people from family, to friends, to strangers, who help, proves that wrong, every year. It keeps growing, and the generosity keeps growing every year too.

Tears were brought to my eyes yesterday, as I was standing by the cutest little girl, Joselyn.  She opened her box with a coat, gloves, and a hat. She hugged her box. She smiled. Then she asked if we could wrap it back up for her, so she could have something to open on Christmas Day. Ryan and Cole heard this, and their eyes grew wide. I told her “of course, sweetie.” Ryan took the box from her, Mara got the wrapping paper, and Cole got the tape. Ryan, Cole, and I, rewrapped that present with probably more love, than I have ever wrapped a present before. The boys found a candy cane for her, and helped me tape it to the box. Ryan told me, “Now she will have a candy cane on Christmas morning too.” Ryan and Cole both walked the gift back to her, and she was smiling from ear to ear. Just doing that simple thing- made a difference for her.

All Smiles from Joselyn!
All Smiles from Joselyn!

We all have struggles, problems, things we wish were different in our life circumstances, but a lot of us have a coat, and our kids have coats. We don’t worry where our next meal is coming from. We can put gifts under the tree for our kids. It might not be the iMac Pro Laptop Ryan wanted, but he doesn’t have one present he has to rewrap to open again.

It did all of our hearts good, and definitely opened Ryan and Cole’s eyes to different circumstances people live with. What they saw and witnessed yesterday- is the real meaning of Christmas. Not what you get, but what you can do for others, and how you make them feel.

Thank you Mara, for letting us be a part of this, and thank you to everyone who helps out every year.

And, thank you Seargent Alex- your kindness and actions have helped more than just second graders. The world definitely is a lot brighter for us this Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all my readers and their families!

Categories
Holidays Mothering

‘Twas The Night of Christmas Decorating For A Working Mom

I came up with this tonight, while I was cleaning up from Christmas decorating.  It was a lot of work, after a long day.  Good thing the end results are worth it.  It’s officially Christmas now at our house!

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, every ornament was hung, from here to there. 

When Mom thought she was done, the children begged her to hang more lights just for fun.  

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads, Mom secretly hoped it would soon be time for the children to go to bed, so the decorating could end.

When the children were nestled all snug in their beds, “Finally, the decorating is done,“ Mom said. 

She collapsed on the couch, and thought with all work at the holidays she need the help of an elf. She looked around at all the lights in the dark, and smiled in spite of herself.

The house was quite cheery, and it was a beautiful site. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Categories
Cole Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

“Mom, Is Santa Real?”

I was making dinner tonight when Ryan, who will be 8 next month, walked into the kitchen and asked flat out, “Mom, is Santa real?” I froze.  I had no warning or idea this was going to be a question that needed to be answered for a few years at least, let alone right now.  A million thoughts flashed through my mind in the few seconds it took me to process his question. The biggest one of course was, ‘What am I going to tell him?’

I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, where we didn’t celebrate holidays, Christmas included. My parents at the time, told me flat out Santa was a lie parents told their children. The “church” also pointed out that “Santa” rearranged is “Satan.”  I never received gifts from Santa, and never faced the question if he was real.   My parents relaxed some of their views years later, my mom even left the religion and we celebrated a few very happy Christmases before she passed away.  But, I realized I was never left an example to fall back on regarding how and what to tell a child about Santa.

Since I never was allowed to celebrate Christmas as a child, I have lived it for the first times, mainly through the eyes of my children.  Christmas has been some of the happiest times and best memories I have so far of the boys.  It is magical. The excitement they have when they see the presents Santa has left for them under the tree- there is nothing like it.

I also think, part of the excitement is in realizing there is something good and positive which is “bigger” than them, at work.  I think it fills their hearts with a sense of security in knowing there is this nice man who just brings good kids presents.  It is simple- simple for young children to accept and believe.  Not so simple as the children get older.

I asked Ryan if he believed Santa was real, and he said, “No.”  I quickly tried to relay the idea of Santa , before Cole came downstairs and heard. I tried to tell him Santa is everywhere if you believe.  He started to cry in frustration.  I told him we would talk about it after dinner, when Cole was playing.

I thought about all through dinner and asked my friends on Facebook for advice.  After dinner, I took him in my room, shut the door, and cuddled with him on my bed.  I still didn’t really know what to say, but sometimes all you can do is follow what your heart tells you.  I took a deep breath, and told Ryan I had something to tell him about Santa.  I told him it was only for him to know right now, and he couldn’t tell Cole, or any other kids at school.

His face lit up. So far so good. I told him Christmas is a magical time of year when we all get reminders of love. One way people do that is by giving each other gifts.  I told him Santa helps the parents give gifts to their children.  He asked, “So you are Santa?”

I didn’t want to lie to Ryan but I didn’t want to quash his hopes and belief in the good Santa stands for.  In an instant it became clear to me and I said, “We are all Santa, Ryan. The parents help Santa with presents and Santa helps the parents.  Santa is the good, magical, and love in all of us, and this gets shown so much at Christmas.  Santa needs all of our help to do this everyday, but especially at Christmas.”

He looked a little confused and I continued, “Do you know how happy you feel when you help me, or do something nice for Cole?”  He told me yes. “Well, you are being like Santa when you do these things.  You are giving to people, and that is what Santa is all about. So I think he is very real, because if you look for him, you will see him every day, not just at Christmas.”

He said he felt better and I told him he was old enough now to be trusted with this.  I told him little kids like Cole though, don’t think of all the questions he has, so this year he gets to help Santa with Cole.

He smiled and gave me a hug, and I told him once more before we opened the door, that this was an important thing to know, and Santa was counting on him now.  He said he knew, nodded his head, and off he went to play with Cole.

I realized later tonight, in the almost seven years since my baby had his first Christmas, it itsn’t entirely up to me anymore to have him believe in Santa.  He is becoming his own person, with his own ideas and thoughts.  He will have to decide for himself what he thinks about Santa.

I hope some of what I told him, helped him get a grasp that Santa may not be an actual guy in a red suit, with reindeer, who comes down a chimney.  I think that was the part he was having a hard time believing.  But I hope it opened up to him the ideas of what Santa really is, if he believes.

Ryan's First Christmas, 2004
Categories
Cole Family & Friends Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

“Sexy” Halloween Costumes (Wonder Woman Doesn’t Wear Garters)

A few weeks ago, I started looking at websites and Googling ideas for Halloween costumes for a party.  I’m not sure when it happened, but every single costume I clicked on is a “sexy” version of what I was thinking of.  It doesn’t matter what the costume: vampire, pirate, angel, Wonder Woman, Raggedy Ann (yes, Raggedy Ann now has her own sexy costume.) Evidently, nothing is sacred anymore, and even a good old fashioned nun can be sexy costume.

As a girl, I loved Wonder Woman.  Compare these two pictures.  Wonder Woman as I remember her:

and a Wonder Woman costume available today:
I don’t recall Wonder Woman ever wearing a skirt, thigh highs, garters, and high heeled shoes on TV.  Did I miss those episodes?
 
I’m all for looking fashionable, modern, and having fun.  But unless I’m going to dress up (or down in this case) as a stripper for Halloween, I don’t want a costume that looks like I’m ready to do a pole dance.  After I looked at so many of these costumes, I realized they are pretty much the same version.  A skimpy top, a short skirt, knee high, thigh high, or fishnet stockings, garters for Wonder Woman, and high heel shoes.

Last year John and I were Pugsley and Wednesday Addams for Halloween.  The Wednesday costume I ordered in my size, the skirt was so short, it didn’t even cover the essentials.  I ended up getting another skirt that was just above my knees, but still matched the costume.  The costume was still fun, I got a lot of compliments on it, but I didn’t look like I had just finished a shift at a strip club.

I did a quick random “Halloween Costume” Google search and BuyCostumes.com was the first site that came up.  I went to their page and clicked on “Adult Costumes.” There are 1931 costumes for females listed under gender.   The very first category they have listed is “Sexy.”  Out of the 1931 female costumes, 966 of them are in the “sexy” category.

Do 50% of the female costumes really have to be sexy versions? What is wrong with an original version? Not every woman wants to dress up as a “sexy” superhero, fairy tale character, historical figure, vampire, nun, or any other costume you can think of.  My boys have been asking what I’m going to be for Halloween.  I couldn’t envision dressing up and having them see me in any of these “sexy” costumes.  Yet, that is what is being sold.

If I could sew, I would start a business just making normal, fun, costumes, that are stylish and fashionable, but where other party guests wouldn’t feel like they needed to put dollar bills in part of the costume.

To be fair, on BuyCostumes.com there are 1581 male costumes total, and 104 of those are “sexy.”  However, that is only 6.5%.  Quite a difference.  The policemen and sailor costumes for men had shorts and pants that were to the knees and covered everything.  There was no Batman, or Superman wearing thigh highs, or fishnet stockings instead of tights. 

The other thing I noticed about these costumes was how expensive they are for barely anything.  Most of the costumes start at $25 and go up from there.  BuyCostumes.com’s most expensive “sexy” costume was $259!  If I wanted to wear my underwear to a Halloween party, I could do it a lot less than for hundreds of dollars.

I finally found a Halloween costume l think will be fun for the party.  Finding it though, did not come easy.  Every single costume sold by the costume on-line retailers and even Amazon in the category was “sexy” and not something I would ever feel comfortable wearing as it was, to a party- around people, or having my sons see me in. I want to keep the costume a surprise for the party for now, but I will write a follow up post, with the pictures of the “sexy” costumes, and what I actually ended up with.

In the meantime, if you are facing the same problem, just think outside the box a bit.  Check eBay, or thrift shops for different ideas and versions.   I ended up getting my costume on eBay, for a fraction of the cost of the retailer’s costumes and went with an original, vintage outfit, versus the “sexy” take on it.

You may need the patience and determination of a Superhero to make it work, but it’s worth it.  My costume arrived in the mail a few days ago, and I’m really happy with it.  I’m adding a few more accessories to it, and it is playful, fun, cute, and it actually covers everything it is supposed to.  Best of all, I showed it to the boys the other night, they loved it, had some ideas on how to wear certain parts of it, and learned more about the time period the costume is from. Take that Wonder Woman in garters!  😉

I’m curious to hear readers’ thoughts on this, and if others have experienced a problem trying to find a decent costume.

Have a Happy and safe Halloween!

 

Categories
Family & Friends Holidays

Wanted for Christmas: “I Need a Blanket and I Need Food to Eat…”

Two years ago, my sister, Mara, who is a second grade teacher at a very impoverished school outside of Denver, had her students write a letter to Santa Claus.  She had never done this before, and was expecting typical requests from eight year-olds.  The letters were anything but typical- they were heartbreaking.  She sent an e-mail to her family and friends with some of the requests, asking if there was any way we could help out her students. 

The request that touched me the most was from a little boy who only asked for “socks with no holes in them.”  I posted Mara’s request on my blog, and the response was overwhelming.  Each child in Mara’s class received an item they desperately needed, like new socks.  We were also able to give every child a new toy, game, or book. 

Last year a girl in Mara’s class told Santa in her letter, that she didn’t need anything, but her sister needed a coat.  This year, the letters are just as touching, and some are just heartbreaking. For three years now, when I read these letters to Santa from these young kids, it puts everything in perspective for me.  It also makes me sad these children know what it is like to be cold and hungry. 

Here are some of the items the children this year in Mara’s class have asked Santa for (these are unedited):

“…I need a blanket and I need food to eat because I have NO blankest becauze my mom doesnt have money.”

“…the winter is so cold and I need boots.  I’m wearing my grandpas shoze and hes feet are too big so I trip.  I also need soks because I can’t find any.” 

“…I need a blanket because I sleep on the ground.  Something els I need Is Pillows becaues I need them so the floor wont hurt my neck.”

“..I Need a blancit cos i am cold at nit. I need to go to shcol. I want a fotbal cos i like fotbals.”

Here is an excerpt from Mara’s note, and I agree with her wholeheartedly:

The highlight of my  past two holiday seasons has been the amazing effort you all have shown in taking care of my kiddos.  I hope the pictures from the last two years have assured you how much your gifts make a difference…even for one day.  I’m here to tell you that all of us together can make a difference for these kids.  They make me smile and laugh everyday with their unbreakable spirit and heart and I assure you that even a pair of gloves and a book from a stranger matters to a 8 year old.  They get a sparkle in their eyes.  It’s brought me to tears more than once.

 Here are the details if you can help:

 We’ll take anything EXCEPT cash/checks.  Gift cards to TARGET would be the most helpful because we could trade them in for gifts.  If you’d really like to donate books and be sure that’s where your gift was going, you can make your check out to SCHOLASTIC BOOKS and I will be sure to use it for that.  We’d also love any chapter books, school supplies, etc.  I will make sure every child in my class will get something new this Christmas.  Thank you so much!
Please send what you can to:
 
Alsup Elementary School
c/o Mara Corzine
7101 Birch Street
Commerce City, CO  80022

If you would like to see how much these gifts mean to these kids, you can see pictures from 2008 here

I have also posted my sister’s e-mail in its entirety, with more letters from the kids on A Mama’s Blog Fan page on Facebook.  

Thank you for your help!