Tag: cesarean section

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c-sections Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth

Interview With AOL Health on C-Sections

A month or so ago, I was contacted by a reporter, Justine van der Leun, who told me she was a reporter with AOL Health.  She said she had come across my blog while doing research for a story on C-sections.  She said she found my experience interesting and asked if I would be willing to be interviewed for her story.

I haven’t written about C-sections for a while.  I haven’t had a lot of extra time for several months to write a lot of blog posts.  This sounded like a good opportunity that could help raise awareness on C-sections, so I agreed to the interview.  Justine called me a few days later and we spoke for about 30 minutes.  She asked great questions, and said she had been learning a lot about birth because some of her friends were having babies, and also because of the story she was working on. 

Justine thanked me as we were concluding and told me she was going to interview a doctor and then write the story.  I felt like Justine would write a balanced story, but I was cautiously optimistic until I could read the final story.  Sometimes viewpoints and words get misconstrued or used out of context.  

Last week Justine notified me the story was finished and published.  I was on my way out of work, and skimmed it quickly on my phone and I was pleased.  But I wanted to read it when I had more time. When I did I was extremely happy.  Justine did a terrific job with conveying my thoughts on C-sections and birth.  I posted the link to my FaceBook Fan Page, and finally had time tonight to post the link to my blog.

I’d like to thank Justine here, for writing an accurate and balanced story on C-sections.  I hope it will assist women who are researching C-sections.

Here is the link to Justine’s story on AOL Health: Unwanted Cesarean Sections, Getting The Birth You Want

Categories
Breastfeeding c-sections Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

The C-Section Difference

It has been a while since I have written on the topic of C-sections.  However, a post I wrote almost two years ago, The Reality of C-Sections, remains the most popular post on A Mama’s Blog.  It has received over 11,000 page views to date.  I decided to share my C-section experience and what I learned so others could be informed, and make decisions about C-sections based on knowledge.  I would have never been able to go out and tell 11,000 plus people my experience, so I am pleased the post has been successful. 

Of course not everyone agrees with me, and I get passionate comments from women on both sides of the issue.  Some women have chosen to share their own C-sections stories with me privately, and in the comments.  Some are horrifying.  Some are heartbreaking.  I have cried at many of the stories, because so many of the causes given for the C-sections seemed so unnecessary to begin with, and the toll the surgery has taken in these experiences, is extensive.

I have received many comments from women who say their C-sections were great experiences and they have no regrets.  I have received accusations from other readers who think I am trying to scare women.  I have been called every obscene name at least twice.  

I don’t mind a difference of opinion that is conducted in a respectful manner, but after my health issues last year, I have less of a tolerance for rude comments and readers taking personal shots at me.  Lately, whenever I see a comment has come in on the C-section post, I get butterflies in my stomach, and hope it isn’t a nasty comment.  I have defended my position so many times in the comments there really isn’t anything new that I can offer, that I haven’t already stated.  If it is a comment attacking me personally, I delete the comment.  It serves no purpose to anyone to state an argument in that manner.

I have been thinking about closing comments on that post.  At what point does a discussion run its course?   But then I will receive a comment from someone who has thanked me for writing the post.  Or a woman shares her C-section experience.  So many women have said they have cried while typing out their stories, and I believe just by being able to type out the words, it helps heal.  I know, because writing helped me start to heal from the unresolved issues I had from my C-section.

On Sunday a very touching story from Sarah was posted on her C-section experience. (It is the fifth to the last comment currently in that post’s comments).  Her experience brought tears to my eyes, and as soon as I read this sentence that she wrote, “i am not sure that i will ever get over the emotional trauma i experienced when my daughter was born,” I realized closing the comments would be a mistake.  Reading this from Sarah made me realize how deeply the emotional trauma can run from a C-section.  While it lessens, it never fully goes away.  Just like the positive aspects of birth never go away, the negative emotional tolls don’t either. 

Six years has passed since my own less than ideal and emotionally traumatic C-section.  It is disheartening on some level to read that some C-sections are even worse than mine was six years ago, and that they are still being performed at an alarming rate- almost one in three births in the United States is a C-section.  (This figure is from 2007, and is probably higher for 2008 and 2009 but the rates have not been released).  It seems at times for those of us who believe C-sections should be reserved for true medical emergencies, it is an uphill battle.  What difference really can we have?

I found out how much of a difference one person’s experience can have this past weekend.  I was getting my haircut, and only have it cut every few months now.  My stylist, “Emily,” told me she was seven months pregnant, and of course I congratulated her.  Emily is young- at least young from my perspective- she probably is not older than 25.  She knows I have two boys, and she asked me what hospital my kids were born at.  I told her, and told her I had a C-section with my first son and a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with my second son.  Emily asked me which was better- the C-section or the vaginal birth.

I told her the VBAC by far.  I told Emily I was holding my baby seconds after he was born, versus not being able to hold my baby for an hour after birth with a C-section.  I told her I was able to eat 30 minutes after the VBAC, versus three days after with a C-section.  I told her I bonded instantly with Cole after he was born, versus five days with Ryan, after the C-section.  I told her I was nursing Cole within minutes after the VBAC, versus an hour with the C-section.  I told her I felt better three days after the VBAC birth versus twelve weeks, with the C-section.

Emily was quiet for a minute, and I was wondering what her reaction was going to be.  She put down her scissors and told me, “Thank you.”  I was a little surprised, because I was expecting her to tell me she had heard C-sections weren’t that bad.  Emily told me that she wanted a natural birth, and so many people have tried to talk her out of a natural birth.  She also said so many have told her that she’ll end up with a C-section anyway.   Emily said she was starting to doubt if she could really give birth naturally, but hearing my comparisons, it firmed her resolve.  Emily said unless she had a medical emergency, she was going to give birth naturally, and not let anyone talk her into a C-section!  It was so encouraging to hear a younger mother with that attitude.  I told her of a few resources that could help her even more, and she thanked me again for being honest about my birth experiences. 

I have thought about this exchange for a few days now, and after reading Sarah’s sentence, the realization became very clear.  Emotional trauma from a C-section does not ever completely vanish. It will always be- to some extent or another- with us.   It doesn’t matter if it was a week ago, twenty years ago, or if it was a medically necessary C-section or not.  We can never go back and undo what was done.   But our honest experiences with C-sections can be more powerful to someone who is seeking information than any books, or medical professional.

When women are told they need to “get over” their traumatic C-section births, by ignoring the parts of their birth experience which were negative, or traumatic, it doesn’t “magically” make everything better.  It harms the women again, because now it isn’t acceptable to share or to talk about anything that isn’t a positive birth experience. 

There are still women, like Emily, who believe their bodies are capable of giving birth the way they were intended to do so.  There are women who don’t believe insurance companies, hospitals, drugs and surgeries are the answer to birth.  These women want to know the truth, and are seeking answers.  On the opposite side, there are so many women who had no one who shared their C-section experiences with them, when they had to make their decisions.  There are women who have lost so much, and and have been hurt from C-sections.  How do these two sides come together?

By telling our stories.  It doesn’t matter that some won’t agree with you.  It doesn’t matter that some will tell you to get over it.  It doesn’t matter that some will tell you, you should be grateful your baby is healthy.  It doesn’t matter that some will accuse you of trying to be overly dramatic.   It doesn’t matter that not all C-sections are traumatic for everyone.  What does matter is ours was.  What does matter that someone else’s will be too.  What does matter is we talk about it.  It matters that we share our stories, and honor our birth experiences- all of them. 

For the women who refuse to accept a C-section is the normal way to give birth, by sharing our experiences, we confirm their instincts, and they confirm ours- a surgical birth is not usually the best way to give birth.  Most importantly, by talking about it your spirit starts to heal.  A little at time.  Never completely, but enough. Our experiences become patched together like a quilt.  This is enough to make a difference, one birth at a time.

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c-sections Current Events Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

C-Sections- Five Years and Beyond (Part 3)

Since the five years I have had my C-section, I was told many times that I should just be grateful my baby was okay, and I should get over the negative feelings that I had regarding the experience.  I noticed that almost every woman who responded to my questions had something about her C-section that she was not happy about, or had been unprepared for. 

I think our society is very harsh with mothers who have given birth by  C-section in this regard.  A C-section not only brings a new life into the world, but it is also a major abdominal surgery. If a heart patient has a negative experience with heart surgery, their feelings are usually not discounted and told to get over it.  Of course all mothers are happy their babies are born healthy, whether they are born vaginally or by C-section.  But that does not, and should not invalidate any negative feelings a mother may have giving birth by a surgical procedure.   

Simply saying a mother should get over it, and be happy her baby is healthy is like telling a survivor of an awful car wreck, “at least you didn’t die,” or “you should be happy you are alive.”  That is a given- but the pain and trauma from the experience also needs be to validated in order for the survivor to heal.  We acknowledge the pain and suffering of car accident victims all the time.  We do not invalidate the victim’s feelings just because they are alive.  

Yet that is what happens to women over and over again, who share their negative C-section feelings. Their feelings are invalidated and they are told and expected to dishonor any negative feelings they have about their C-section births. 

Birth is one of the most powerful things a woman experiences- what kind of message does that send to a mother when she is told her feelings she has regarding her C-section are not valid?  

The C-section rate continues to rise in the United States every year.  According to Childbirth Connection, in 1965 the C-section rate was 4.5%.  It is estimated that when the 2007 figures are released, they will show the rate over 30%, or one in three births are a C-section. In some hospitals, the C-section rate is 50%. 

My C-section made me doubt my body.  I trusted my doctor more than myself.  Doctors are experts in medical procedures, and we are all grateful to have them for medical emergencies.  However, women are the experts on their bodies.   For thousands of years, midwives- other women- assisted during birth.  Birth is normally not a medical experience or emergency.  Yet, that is how the entire process is generally approached.  Women are made to feel that they are not capable of giving birth without a doctor present in a hospital. 

Ina May Gaskin, one of the most famous midwives in the world, who has her own birthing center in Tennessee, did not have a woman who needed a C-section until the 187th birth that she attended.   The next C-section birth didn’t come until after the 300th birth.  Contrast that with one in three births being a C-section today. 

It is my opinion that women are losing the ability to believe that their bodies can give birth, and birth is not a medical condition.  Add to this, the women that are told to “get over” their negative birth experiences and not acknowledge their feelings.  How does this attitude in our society prepare a woman for her next birth?  How does this psychologically affect her?  Is she more likely to believe in her body for the next birth or decide she needs a C-section?

C-sections have their place, and I am the first to acknowledge that.  But with every C-section that is performed that is not a true medical emergency, I believe we are teaching women and girls- the next generation- that their bodies are inadequate- incapable of giving birth without a major surgery.   As long as women allow doctors to make the calls for them, the C-section rate will continue to grow, and our choices for birth diminish.

Women need to support each other and share their birth experiences.  Perhaps one story of a successful VBAC will encourage another woman to try a VBAC.  One story of a woman’s experience with a C-section will help another woman avoid one.  We can support each other and learn from one another.  By sharing the good and the bad of our birth experiences, we lay the groundwork for allowing women and girls to trust their bodies.  After all, women are the experts in childbirth.  Who better to learn about birth from than another woman who has experienced it?

Karen Walker, a midwife, believes that “obstetricians will continue to encouraging the birthing mom to sacrifice her body on the operating room table until women begin to take the responsibility of her birth upon herself.”  She says, “Doctors will get off their pedestals only when women get off their knees.” 

The Unnecesarean.com was the first place this week that I read about Lauren Plante of Thomas Jefferson University’s essay, Mommy, What Did You Do in the Industrial Revolution?   In her essay Plante compares industrial obstetrics with the industrial revolution.  One profound statement she made when comparing modern obstetrics:

Industrial obstetrics strips the locus of power definitively away from women. The history of childbirth in America reflects a persistent trend of increased control by physicians and increased medicalization. Childbirth moves, first, out of the home, and now out of the vagina.  (bold print mine)

It is interesting to note that Lauren Plante is an OB/GYN. 

It is my hope by sharing my C-section experience, other women’s experiences, and by continuing to write about  C-sections,  that women who are considering a C-section for a non-medical emergency, can find real life experiences, thoughts, and information from other women that will enable them to trust their bodies can give birth. 

We each are given the power over our bodies.  The power is there- in all of us- to give birth to our babies.  We have to trust that our bodies can do what they were made for.  We have to get the information we need to feel confident in our bodies.  When will we feel we have given enough of our birthing power and choices over to the medical industry?  When the C-section rate nationally is at 5o percent? 75 percent? 100 percent?  

It is every woman’s right to attempt the birth experience that she feels is best for her baby and herself.  Please don’t give that right over blindly to a doctor simply because they are a doctor.  If you don’t want a C-section only because your baby is breech, then do what I didn’t do- fight to preserve that right.  Seek out midwives or another doctor.  If you are told your hospital doesn’t allow VBAC’s, and you want one, do what I did- find another hospital that allows it.  You don’t have to settle for a birth option, just because a doctor says that is the only way. 

If we, as women don’t demand better from our doctors and hospitals, then we, and our daughters, will never get anything better from them.  We will never get better choices, better information, better treatment, and ultimately better births.

Categories
c-sections Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

C-sections Five Years and Beyond (Part 2)

This is part two of the interview with ten women on their C-section experiences.  You can find C-sections Five Years and Beyond (Part 1) by clicking on the title.   

Do you feel you were given adequate information from your doctor or health care provider regarding the C-section? (procedure, recovery time, possible complications, emotions, etc)

Justine- “Absolutely not. Granted, this was 1989 and things have come a long way since then. But whenever i asked questions (“Why is 12 hours the limit? If i don’t have a fever, then why are we worried about infection? Since the IV is in, can’t we start an antibiotic as a preventive measure instead of surgery?) the answer i got was “You can’t mess around with your baby’s health like that.” or “Our job is to take care of you, your job is to let us” I had no idea what to expect after the surgery…and they just kept pumping me full of narcotics even though I wanted to just try Tylenol…ugh.  It was simply a nightmare…and one that I could not wake up from.”

Jane- “I didn’t get the information that I would be separate from my baby for hours after birth.”

Beth G.– “Yes, I really liked and trusted my doctor. I’ve always had specialists, so my doctor did the c-section. The other Dr. who scrubbed in happened to be a good friend of my mom’s whom I’d known since I was young.”

Kristi– “Not the first time around.  Definitely not.”

Beth S.– “No one talked to me about anything! I just remember signing the papers that talked about possible complications. Fortunately, I had read everything under the sun about all the variables involved in childbirth, including C-Section, so basically everything I knew, I had learned on my own.”

If you had to do it over again, is there anything you would change or do differently regarding your C-section?

Emily– “I would have just scheduled it from the get go. But that’s easier said than done. C-sections after an induction are more likely to cause complications, which mine did. I was induced in large part because I was just over my pregnancy. I enjoyed it as a whole but I was ready for the baby to come. And my mom kept asking me when she should book her ticket to come out. So I put pressure on my doctor to induce me. In hindsight I wish I had just been more patient. If I had waiting, my son may have righted himself and the whole thing may not have been necessary.”

Renae– “I was under the care of a midwife and planned to labor and deliver at her birth center. If I had it to do over, I would research c-sections and would have sought out a doctor’s help sooner. (We knew my baby was measuring incredibly small.)”

Justine– “First of all, I would never go to the hospital unless I had a bullet wound, lost an appendage, or had a brain tumor. But, barring that scenario, I wish I had made my wishes about breastfeeding and being with my baby clear before I had the surgery, in writing…I wish I had had a doulaor a trained professional to help me navigate the medical system…I wish I had asked about what kind/type of incision was being made and why…and most of all, I wish that I had retained the services of a midwife instead of an OB. Even if the c/s was inevitable, the lack of respect was inexcusable.”

Natalie– “My first two C-sections weren’t scheduled, but my labor was induced early both times mostly for convenience sake.  If I could do it again I think I would try to hold out until I went into labor or until after my due date.  I think the babies were taken too early.  13 and 11 days early.  They hadn’t dropped and just weren’t ready to come out.  I might have been able to prevent the C-sections if I had just waited it out.”

Beth S.– “Because of the complications that had arisen, I couldn’t have done it differently. Had everything been fine except for the fact that he was overdue, I would have waited until he was ready to come out on his own!”

Have you had, or attempted to have a VBAC? (vaginal birth after Cesarean)  If so, what was the single most important reason you had for making that choice?

Renae– “No. I wish it possible, but because my incision is classical it is not recommended. I see the wisdom in the decision for me. At the end of my next two pregnancies both tiny babies were in distress.”

Justine– ” I have had 3 VBAC’s…1994, 2003 and 2008. My last one was a homebirth. The most important reason for me was having a gentle welcome for my baby and a healthy chance of recovery for me so that I was able to parent my baby right from the start.”

Jill– “No–my doctor advised against the 2nd and 3rd times.”

Brenna– “Yes, I attempted a VBAC with my second son. I felt that I owed to him and myself, and even my first son, to try. I knew the recovery time would be shorter and hoped that breastfeeding would be easier to start with.”

Beth S.- “I went on to have 3 more children via VBAC. The last 2 were with a midwife! I just wanted to have the entire ‘natural’ experience. As a woman, I felt it was my God-given right, I guess! I just had the instincts to do what nature had intended for me to do when it came to giving birth.”

How do you feel about your birth experience with your C-section, now that it has been five or more years? (I am including all the responses for this question)

Emily– “I actually feel fine with it. I know that C-sections are more expensive and I spent more time in the hospital than I would have otherwise but I also was super grateful for the time in the hospital with help.”

Beth G.- “Positive.”

Justine– “I have to admit, that even 20 years later, it is still a sore spot. The scar is as healed as it ever will be…and successfully birthing my three daughters has given me back confidence in my body and its ability. But I will never recover the time that my c/s [c-section] stole from my son…I cannot remember any of the sweet moments in his first few weeks…it was a living hell and he paid the price for it…I was too weak to hold him or pick him up. I was too tired to sing to him or to marvel at how perfect he was..every bit of my energy went into simply trying to get myself a glass of water, or hobble to the bathroom, or sit up and nurse. Perhaps it is different for momma’s who had a real medical issue, or needed a c/s to save their life, or their baby’s…but I went through all of this for…nothing.  I still have a lot of guilt and regret about not knowing more, or for not standing up for my rights as a patient. It is what has led me to the work I do now, so I am grateful for the point of view, but am still bitter about it.”

Renae– “I am at peace. My children are wonderful and the scar is a reminder of how my love has grown.”

Jill– “No regrets about c-section. My son is a healthy, tall for his age kindergartener.”

Brenna– “I feel okay about it. I am thankful we do have the technology to step in and help as needed. I feel that it is done far too often, but I do feel that in my case it was probably necessary. That really helps me feel at peace with the experience.”

Beth S.- “I think I’m fine with it only because I had the proof in front of me of my son’s weakening heart beat that it needed to be done.”

Kristi– “I can’t say I ever really even think about it.  I have no feeling of inadequacy or regret that I’ve heard is common.  If I planned on having six kids I think I’d be upset because I wouldn’t want to go through that surgery too many times but that’s not the case.”

Natalie– “I am completely fine with it.  I have 4 amazing kids and the fact that they were C-section babies is barely even a thought in my mind.  Only when I am answering medical questions or comparing births (which gets rarer and rarer the older I get) does it even enter my mind.  I don’t feel any less of a mom or a woman because of having to have C-sections.”

Jane– “I’m crying as I’m typing this.”

Any other thoughts, comments, or observations you would like to share? (I have included all responses received to this question)

Beth G.- “I believe there are trade-offs. While a c-section has it’s medical issues, it was nice to have a clean surgery/recovery site with no ripping, soreness, etc. from a traditional birth.”

Justine– “Next month [April] is Cesarean awareness month and I will be posting c/s [C-section] info in conjunction with my local ICAN chapter at www.JulianArts.com

Renae– “When it’s all done the little ones we hold in our arms are the focus, not how they entered our love. (And by the way, my son is fine. He was born at 35 weeks and weighed only 1 lb. 13 oz. You’d never know it now. Here’s a post that contains his birth picture {yikes!}: https://lifenurturingeducation.com/2007/11/19/more-thankful-a-decade-later/)”

Jill– “Explaining how a baby is born is easier with a c-section baby. I would say “the baby came out of mommy’s tummy.” The children never asked about mommy’s private parts. They seemed satisfied with this explanation.”

Brenna– “The hospital that I went to for all three of my children has an amazing nursing staff. That really made all the difference in creating positive birth experiences with each baby, regardless of the means.”

Jane– “Just get as much info as you can before hand. Try to schedule at a hospital that allows you to recover with your baby. No matter what happens, breastfeed! Babies need touch and warmth – and you can’t get that closeness with a bottle! Even if the nurses give the baby a bottle because they say it is an emergency while you are recovering, insist on breastfeeding after that and don’t allow any more bottles!!!”

Again, I would like to thank all these woman for taking the time to share their thoughts with me, and allowing me to post their experiences here. 

I will have my concluding comments and few more thoughts about C-sections in the final part of this series.  It will be posted on Thursday of this week.

Categories
Breastfeeding c-sections Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

C-Sections- Five Years and Beyond- (Part 1)

Cross Posted on BlogHer

Five years has past since my first and only C-section.  I shared my experience, and my feelings about my C-section last week in the post, My C-section- Five Years Later.  This was the third part in a series of C-section posts I have written.  The first post in the series, The Reality of C-sections, has generated a wide variety of thoughts, feelings, and comments.  One comment that kept coming up was, my experience was only one out of millions.  Some readers felt that in no way, was my experience the only reality of a C-section. 

I agree.  No two C-sections are the same, just as no two births are the same.  I decided to interview a random sample of women, who had given birth by C-section five years ago or longer.  I wanted to find out how women felt about their C-sections after time had passed.  

I put the call out on Twitter, for any woman willing to answer my questions about their C-section, five years ago or longer.  At the time, I had about 2,500 followers, and posted the tweet over several days, at different times, hoping to get a wide range of women who would respond.  Some asked what angle I was looking for, but I told them the truth- I wasn’t looking for any angle- I just wanted their true feelings and thoughts.  Ten women answered my questions.     

 I was fascinated, surprised, shocked, and shed a few tears over their C-section experiences.  I have struggled on how to present their stories to you, and have decided not to.  I am going to let their own words tell you their experiences.

Brenna lives in Oregon, and owns Clementinenw.com.  Jane (not her real name) asked to remain anonymous, and is the owner of  a family magazine.  Kristi has an on-line shop, Zuzugirlhandmade.com. Emily, was the first woman to respond to my request.  Renae blogs at Life Nurturing Education.  Beth G. is the owner of the site, Confessions of a Mom. Justine runs the website, JulianArts, which provides state-of-the-heart-education during the birth years and beyond.  Beth S. blogs at Savvy Saving Mom.   Natalie, who lives in Texas, and blogs at Tell Me About It, and Jill blogs at Writing My Life One Blog at a Time.

This post is broken into two parts.  Here is part one of these women’s experiences with their C-sections:

How did you feel about your birth experience with your C-section, during the first year post-partum?

Brenna– “I was disappointed that it didn’t work out the way that I had wanted though, [I] felt that there were several circumstances that stacked the cards against me. I didn’t have my doctor as she was out of town. They had to induce with Pitocin because my water broke and labor did not really start on its own. I felt like my water broke before my son was ready to be born. Because of those things I wondered if everything was done in the best way for me and my son, although I tried not to play “what if” too much since I couldn’t go back and change anything. I did feel very lucky to have had a happy and healthy baby.”

Jane– “I was always sad when I thought about it because the hospital where it was performed kept Mom and baby apart during recovery. I didn’t get to hold my baby for more than 5 hours after he was born. And while I was in recovery, my husband kept coming in to check on me and I got so mad at him for leaving our baby alone!!! I was beside myself that our little one had only been on this planet for a few hours and he was all by himself!!! Right after he was born in the operating room, they put him by my face – but I couldn’t touch him – arms are stabilized. Very, very sad. I licked his little head a little bit – just so I could make contact with him.”

Kristi– “I went through a terribly long and painful labor with inadequate medical attention.  My first c-section came at a point in the labor that I was so exhausted and  scared and really just wanted the baby out.  I did not have any regrets and honestly didn’t think about it much!”

Emily– “For the most part I felt ok about my birth experience with my C-section during that first year after it. I went through a few moments every so often where I thought that I hadn’t gone through real labor and therefore may have missed something. But those moments were few and far between.”

Justine– “I was pretty traumatized. I really felt (and still do) that the OB was trying to “teach me a lesson” about my situation. I was a teen mother, but a well informed one. I wanted natural childbirth, and planned to breastfeed…etc. I asked a lot of questions and didn’t really care if the OB liked me or not. He gave me a vertical outer incision, for no reason that anyone has been able to explain since. It runs from my navel to my pubic bone and is still very raised, bright red, puffy, and ropey even 20 years later.  When any health care provider sees it, they usually gasp and ask if i was in an accident. When i tell them that it is from my c/s, a few have accused me of lying. They say “no doctor would do that” But indeed, one did. At my 6 week visit, when i asked if the scar was going to heal alright, the OB said “well, i guess motherhood isn’t going to be as fun and glamorous as you thought it was” Nice guy.  So, it is really difficult for me to separate the c/s from the treatment from the OB. He was judgmental and rude, and I can’t help but feel that he acted out his judgment on my belly and created a scenario in which his predictions about my parenting abilities would be likely to come true.”

Did you suffer from complications from your C-section? (infections, torn stitches, long recovery, numbness, pain, emotional issues, etc.)

Renae– “I did not have any medical issues with my first c-section. (After my 3rd, [c-section] infection set in.)  Having a c-section was the opposite of the birth I planned though, so disappointment resided in my heart for awhile. It didn’t take long for that to slip away. It was worth it to give my son every chance for life.”

Jill– “1996 numbness lasted months. Still have some parts that are not fully recovered. 2003 infection from incision, pulled stitches.”

Natalie– “After my first C-section I had some major gas issues.  I know that is a problem after many deliveries, but it was bad.  They kept telling me if I would pass gas they would feed me real food instead of just broth.  I just couldn’t do it.  I ended up having a procedure to help alleviate the pain I was in.  I also ran a fever. 

There was some numbness in the scar area after all of them, but it wasn’t anything different from what one would feel after any other invasive surgery.

My 4th and final C-section came with complications.  After each successive C-section scar tissue built up.  It took longer to get to the babies each time.  During my final C-section I was given a spinal instead of an epidural.  That was different than all the other deliveries.  Right after they gave me the shot the woman in the room next to me needed to have an emergency C-section right then.  We had the same doctor so he went to deliver her baby.  When he came back they checked me to make sure I was still numb.  I gave them the go ahead to proceed with the surgery.  Unfortunately because there was so much scar tissue in the way of the baby I started to feel things way before the surgery was over.  When they actually got to my daughter I felt like my insides were being ripped out.  The poor anesthesiologist felt horrible.  He got a shot ready to put in the IV to put me out completely as soon as they had her out.  I was having a tubal ligation as well so it was still going to be a bit before my surgery was done.  I saw my daughter for a couple of seconds before I fell asleep.  I don’t remember how long it was before I actually had a chance to hold my daughter, but since it was my 4th C-section I knew I would have plenty of time with her.  Those first couple of hours weren’t going to make or break our relationship.”

Beth G.– “No, I didn’t have any complications.”

Beth S.– “I remember feeling a little “ripped off” after the fact, for not having the total birth experience. But it was always a vanishing thought because I knew that the C-Section had become necessary and was done for all the right reasons. My overwhelming joy toward my first born always overpowered any thoughts of sadness or negativity.”

Do you feel your C-section interfered at all or delayed bonding with your baby?

Justine– “YES! Although I was committed to breastfeeding, the nurses had already bottle fed my son several time before I saw him. They fed him sugar water, and formula, and sterile water…it was terrible. And frankly, i was too drugged up to do much about it. That episode of impotence set the tone for many weeks of my early parenting experience. I looked to experts to give me the final answer when it came to parenting choices because I had no faith in my body, there was almost no trust between my baby and I, and it was so hard. Finally, I found a LLL and began to strengthen my skills. Thank goodness! But it was only once I ditched the medical model that parenting became anything but this overwhelming, scary responsibility. I found my footing, and my son and I got on track. I still wonder if and how it might have damaged our long term relationship though.”

Jill– “No, not really. With the 1996 [c-section] I had difficulty breastfeeding. It lasted 4 weeks and [then we] gratefully switched to formula. I bonded better with the baby once I was not in pain from breastfeeding and the c-section.

Brenna– “I really don’t. I was able to breastfeed my son within the first hour, which I think helped immensely. He also stayed in the room with us at all times. Luckily my husband was great and was able to change him and bring him to me when I wanted. I just held him for most of the time until I got too tired. We bonded very quickly.”

Renae– “Yes. My son was whisked to the neonatal unit 2 hours away, and I had to stay in the hospital to recover.”

Beth S.– “They brought me my son while I was in recovery, but I was so out of it that I couldn’t totally enjoy that small moment that we had. I took comfort sending my husband out to go be with him until I was fully awake and in my room. Yeah, I was unhappy about that! In that sense, the bonding was delayed. But there were no repercussions from that except for my own unhappiness. I didn’t get to nurse him until the next day either, but that didn’t cause any physical or latching on problems. Just my own discontent!”

 How long was it after your C-section before you felt “back to normal?”

Kristi– “It was much harder to recover from my first c-section in ’03.  They used big metal staples that had to be removed.  I had far more pain the first time around and spent four days in the hospital.  The second time around I was begging to leave on day three and they let me go.  I did not take any pain killers after leaving the hospital with either birth.  It’s hard to recall but I think the pain getting up and down lasted about two weeks.”

Natalie– “Well I felt mostly fine as soon as I got home.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  With my 2nd I was the maid of honor in a wedding 11 days later.  I was sore of course, but I didn’t let the fact that I had a C-section stop me from doing what I wanted.  I had my 3rd C-section on a Tuesday and was in church on Sunday.  Other than a few headaches I recovered fairly quickly.”

Emily– “I don’t remember but I didn’t feel like it was awful. It was definitely a number of weeks. Because I never had anything but a C-section I have little to compare my recovery to, but I do know that the epidural I had during the first one took much longer to recover from than the spinal block I got for my second one. At the time of my first C-section I lived in a three-story apartment: door on ground level, kitchen on second level, bedrooms and bathrooms on top level. So that whole you can’t walk up and down stairs thing really wasn’t working for me.”

Beth S.– “I think it took a while! For the longest time I kept feeling like my insides might fall out if I got up wrong! I remember slowly starting to do things again like cleaning the house, etc. I probably took longer out of my own fears.”

Justine– “It was about a year before I felt like I was used to the new state of things. I lost the “weight” within a few months, but the scar was/is a lingering issue for me. I have spent 20 years being deeply embarrassed and ashamed of my stomach…so “back to normal” for me never happened. But I was able to participate in exercise and normal activities without pain within 6 months.”

Was your C-section planned or scheduled?

Jill– “The first was unplanned, but not an emergency.  The second and third were planned.”

Renae– “Emergency c-section. I was not awake for the birth of my baby and didn’t see him until I was released from the hospital 3 days later.”

Justine– “No. My waters broke at 6am. I was making progress and had reached 6cms by about 5:30pm that night. However, ‘hospital policy’ at the time was that there was a 12 hour time limit on ruptured membranes. I had the c-section at 6pm and the staff got to get home by 7pm on a Saturday night.  How convenient!”

Emily– “My C-section was an emergency. I was given cervadilon Monday evening, threw up all night long, was given pitocin on Tuesday morning, started pushing sometime around Jeopardy, pushed for an hour, he wouldn’t turn his head in the right direction (he wasn’t breech, but was facing up when she should have been facing down), so the doctor told me I should just go for the C-section.”

Beth S.- “Mine was not planned. According to my Dr., my son was 10 days overdue and his amniotic fluid was lessening. I went to the hospital for a stress test after which time they decided to admit me to induce labor. I was induced for a day with no results. My son started showing signs of distress on the heart monitor, so it was decided that a C-Section was necessary.”

I will have the second part of these interviews posted next week.  Please check back, and I would love to hear any comments you have.  Feel free to share your own experiences as well.