Category: Activities

Weekends- Before & After Kids Part I

Post author By A Mama's Blog
Post date June 9, 2008
10 Comments on Weekends- Before & After Kids Part I

Before being blessed with two children (BK-Before Kids), I didn’t know how good we had it on the weekends. If I woke up, let alone got out of bed before 9am, I thought I was missing my beauty sleep. 🙂 After getting dressed and ready to go in about 15 minutes (compared with usually an hour after kids) Joe and I would go out to breakfast at our favorite spot.

We didn’t care if the wait was an hour- we brought our newspaper with us, and could leisurely read the paper and drink coffee while we waited for our table. After we had a nice breakfast, we would go home and do a few chores around the house.

When you don’t have two small monkeys boys, cleaning and maintaining the house takes about thirty minutes a week. When you have two small monkeys boys, it takes about 10 hours a week. (Not exaggerating on this either. On Friday it took me from 10 am to 8pm to clean the house- and that was leaving a bathroom undone. But that is another post.)

Back to our weekends before kids. Usually on Saturday afternoons, I would visit friends, go shopping, garden, exercise, or just hang out and read a book. Sometimes I would cook dinner, and sometimes we would go out. (If you are keeping track- NO cooking so far.) If we went out, we weren’t there at 5pm, in order to beat the dinner crowds- we didn’t need to time a meal down to the last millisecond, before one, or both kids had a major public meltdown, and the restaurant’s customers were treated to a baby’s shrieking cries, or a toddler screaming at the top of his lungs, “I want to go NOW!”

No, we had all the time in the world. If the restaurant wait interfered with our plans to go catch a movie afterwards, now that was cause for concern. Otherwise we were fine. Oh, and the movies. We used to love going to the movies. We didn’t have to choose between the 4pm showing that would end before our boys’ bedtime, and oh- that is your only movie time choice as a parent. If you go to the early evening movie after having kids, you usually aren’t home until 10pm, and you can hear the wailing coming from the house, as you turn your car down the street.

When you arrive home, you realize World War III has started in your living room. Oops- that is just the two boys that absolutely will not go to bed for the babysitter, and the only way the sitter could calm them down was to let them drag out every toy they have- even the 1,000 piece Lego’s pack. Which, you have just stepped on, and are trying not to let out a few choice words in front of the sitter, and the two very tired, sleep deprived monkeys boys.

At this point the boys monkeys (yes, they have turned into monkeys now) are climbing on you, crying, and wailing that only mommy can put them to bed. Two hours later, past midnight, you finally have achived the task- getting overtired children to bed. You curse the d**n movie and wonder why in the world you just put yourself through that. No movie is worth the war battle you just went through- all to get a night out.

On Sunday mornings BK, Joe and I would sleep in again (really, I used to sleep?!), and then hang out some more, go grocery shopping (yes, we usually grocery shopped together), read the paper, and had a lazy Sunday, or hung out with family. I liked cooking on Sunday’s, so I would make a nice dinner. We had no time constraints, or demands on our time from the children. Our time was completely ours, and as I write this, I can barely remember it. Was it really only four years ago? It seems like a lifetime ago.

This is going to end up a pretty long post, so I am breaking it into parts. Check back later in the week for Weekends Before & After Kids Part II.

Tags going out after children, going out after kids, weekends after having children, weekends after kids, weekends before having children, weekends before kids

Activities Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan School

Memories

Next year, Ryan will be starting kindergarten. I wonder where in the world has the time gone? I remember holding my brand new baby, and thinking he would be little forever. Now this is almost our last summer before we have to think about starting school.

As a mother of two, day-to-day life is busy. There is always something going on. Just when you think you have put out all the fires for the moment- BOOM- something literally goes boom (like a broken toy), or a new situation arises that needs your attention- either an argument breaks out, the laundry needs to be put away, a hungry child, there is a dirty diaper that needs to be changed, or your child just wants your attention to ask you why the sky is blue.

During the last four and a half years of Ryan’s life, I have focused on the day at hand, and haven’t really thought very much about the days, weeks, and months that lie ahead. It seems as soon as you make plans a few days, or weeks ahead, then BOOM. Something always comes up that inadvertently forces you to change your plans- a sick child, or a child that didn’t sleep well the night before, and is in no mood to be taken anywhere.

I suppose for sake of not being disappointed if my outings and activities, didn’t work out, I have just gotten in the habit of not really planning anything. That is how our day-to-day life has been, especially throwing a new baby/toddler in the mix with Cole’s arrival two years ago.

It hit me the last few weeks, that time is running out. All those weeks, months, and years that I thought were indefinite, are almost up. I don’t have endless time with my boys, before they are off to school, and in a sense, off to start their lives somewhat separate from us.

It made me sad that I don’t have photo books full of pictures of all the fun and exciting places, I have been to with Ryan and Cole. Will they wonder why they can’t remember going to the zoo, or the museum every week? Will they wonder why their mother was too busy in day-to-day life, and why she couldn’t just let things “go” every now and then?

Part of my reasoning has also been that they were too little…they wouldn’t remember these things anyway. But now they are getting older, and it is important that we remember having fun together. I have decided this summer, we are going to have fun and start making memories.

I didn’t sign Ryan up for preschool for the summer, and didn’t sign up for music classes for the boys, to keep our days open. Ryan will have swimming lessons only one day a week. I still have to work a few days during the week, but on the other days, we are going to do fun things. We aren’t going to go to the zoo or children’s museum every week, but I plan on making sure they at least know what a zoo and museum are. If my house isn’t as clean as I would like, or the laundry doesn’t get done, then so-be-it. We have at least a week of clean clothes hanging in our closets. 🙂

Every mother has regrets at some point, and I know down the road I would look back and regret the way I have spent some of this precious time that I have with my boys. I don’t get any do-over’s and once it is gone, that is it. I don’t want to look back in 18 years, when Ryan and Cole have moved out, and have started their own lives, and realize I was too busy folding laundry, and vacuuming to have really enjoyed these early years with them.

I know I will miss them when they are gone. I seriously doubt I will wish that I had spent more time doing housework, or wished that I had been able to complete more work from home. I will be looking back at pictures of them- the places we went, the places we saw, and our time together. I will be remembering. I don’t want us to remember the one time we went to the zoo, or the one time we threw the schedule out the window and went and played all day.

When that day comes, when all I have is the memories and photos of my boys as they are now, I won’t be looking for pictures of my clean house, or an empty dishwasher. I won’t be remembering all the trips to the grocery store I made before lunch time. I won’t be looking for work projects I completed. I will be looking for their smiles- their joy- their happiness-their innocence. I will be looking for their childhood.

As a mother, the days are long but the years are short. While I still have time, before too many years are gone, I’m going to start working this summer on creating memories with my young sons worth remembering.

Tags children growing up, children starting school, having fun with your children, Mothering

Activities Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

Spring is Here

After having a week of rain, sun, then more rain, and clouds, I think spring is officially here. This morning started off cool and cloudy, but it is now sunny in the 60’s, and the boys are having a blast playing outside.

By Sunday, we are supposed to reach the upper 80’s! This weekend is plant buying time! I have purposely held off on buying bedding plants, because the weather was being so weird. There was a frost warning one night this past week, so I am glad I held off.

The one aspect that I am sad about is I won’t be planting a vegetable garden this year. We have plans to move this summer. I just can’t see doing all that work, in spring and summer, only to leave it, and not be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor! I know I am setting myself up here- because if we did plant vegetables, then of course, our plans would go like clockwork. By not planting a garden, thinking we won’t be here, is surely tempting fate, that we will still be here later in the summer. Then I will be regretfully asking myself why I didn’t plant at least a few vegetables!

At any rate, we are going to be pretty busy this summer, and I am counting on not having a lot of time one way or another to devote to my veggie garden. I did buy one cherry tomato plant that I will plant in a pot, and keep in the spot I normally would plant my four or five tomato plants. Fortunately, my father-in-law plants a wonderful garden every year, so we will still have access to some of those wonderful homegrown veggies. We also have a great vegetable stand from a farm in town, and the Farmer’s Market.

Ryan is already in love with the tomato plant. The other night when I was bringing the plant in, he started talking to it. He calls it Mr. Tomato Plant. He tells the plant he is going to grow us yummy, sweet tomatoes, and then he gives it a hug. Thank goodness Grandpa has some seeds for Ryan, and Ryan gets to help Grandpa in his garden.

Ryan is such a sweet, and thoughtful child. I think he will really enjoy gardening. Maybe next year I will be able to plant a garden, with both my boys. Starting the garden is always a symbolic gesture for me that the cold, short days of winter are finally gone, and finally the warmer, longer days of spring are here.

Tags child's garden, children gardening, flower garden, gardening, spring, tomato plant, vegtable garden

Activities Cole Family & Friends Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

Mother’s Day

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day. This was my fifth one already! (How did that happen?)

We got up early so we could make it to my favorite breakfast cafe, before the crowd got there. It is a Creole cafe which serves to die-for beignets (which is like a cross between a sopapilla and a donut), and homemade biscuits among other goodies. I got eggs, Creole style- which were scrambled with peppers, onions, cheese, potatoes, and topped with tomatoes and an avocado. This was served with the biggest buttermilk biscuit you have ever seen, topped with homemade strawberry rhubarb jam. It was delicious, and of course the boys loved the beignets and biscuits.

After breakfast we went to Joe’s parents house, where we had a present for Joe’s mom. I had compilled all the best pictures during the last year, and made a photo book for her on Shutterfly. I have to say, as a former scrapbooker, Shutterfly made the whole process incredibly easy, and fun. The hardest part for me was picking out the photos to use, and cropping them before I downloaded them to Shutterfly. I loved the way the book turned out, and I was so happy I ordered a copy for us too. It is a wonderful keepsake, and Joe’s mom was very happy with it.

After visiting for a while, we went home, where we all took a nap, except for Ryan. Bless Joe’s heart- he “napped” in the living room on the couch, so he could watch Ryan. After I got Cole to sleep, I took a luxurious hour and a half nap in my bed. It was great. I woke up to Ryan telling me I had a Mother’s Day card. This was the envelope:

When I asked Ryan if that was him on the envelope, he said, “No, that is just a hairy guy.” Okay- I guess my son thinks I like hairy guys. 🙂

Cole was still sleeping, and Joe decided to assemble Cole’s birthday present. Even though it is in about two weeks, we bought last week, and figured the boys should get as much use out of it as possible. The directions said it assembled in less than an hour. Uh, right. We spent triple the time assembling it. Cole had woken up in the meantime, and I fixed the boys lunch, which they ate outside, while they ‘helped’ Dad. (I’m going to write more about the present with pictures closer to Cole’s birthday).

I got a little yard work in, and cleaned the front porch. When the toy was done, the boys played for awhile, and I told Joe I wanted some pizza from my favorite pizza restaurant-so off we went to a neighboring town, and we had a nice 20 minute drive or so. I was a little worried the restaurant would be crowded, and we would have to wait, but we got right in, and it wasn’t super busy, until we left.

When we got home, I went on a long walk by myself. The weather was wonderful- warm but not too warm, and not cold enough to need a jacket.

After I was finished with my walk, the boys were ready for their bath, and bed. Ryan was so tired, but he told me Happy Mother’s Day again, and asked me if I had fun, “celebrating me.”

As I laid Cole down in his crib, he pulled my face in for another kiss, and then just held my cheek to his, smiling. He gave me a kiss, and rolled over on his side saying, “night night.” It was the best moment of the day.

I loved today, and even though I know I will have some things to catch up on, I wouldn’t have changed any of it. I loved having a fun, relaxed, and easy day with my family. 🙂 Here are two pictures, after we arrived home from breakfast:

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother’s Day, how ever you chose to spend the day!

Tags Mother's Day, Spending Mother's Day with family

Activities Cole Family & Friends Parenting Ryan

Weekend Outings

Last weekend we went to my neice’s first birthday party. The party seemed fun- I didn’t really get to hang out at the party, because at the other end of the park there was a playground, complete with a good old-fashioned merry-go-round. The boys were fascinated by the playground. Cole loved the slide, and even though Ryan was still sick, he was thrilled with the merry-go-round. So I spent most of the party watching them play. Here are a few photos:

This weekend, on Saturday, we took the boys to a local children’s museum. We had never been there before, and they had a lot of fun playing. The big hit was the bank- there was even the drive-through tubing which worked, but the canister was missing. The boys loved pressing the buttons anyway, and seeing the door on the tube close. The museum also had a music room, which was another big hit, and I’ll let the photos speak for themselves:

After the museum, we ate lunch. There was a playground where we ate, so the boys got to run around and play even more. They slept like logs.

On Sunday both boys played at their grandparent’s house, outside all day. Ryan went to a birthday party, where he jumped around in a bouncy castle, and played with a new set of toys. He didn’t take a nap today, and I can understand now where the phrase comes from, “asleep before your head hits the pillow.” That was Ryan tonight for sure. Cole was very tired too. I wish I could wear the boys out like this during the week, but I’ll settle for pure and utter exhaustion on the weekends for now.

Tags merry go round, playgrounds, spending time with kids on the weekend