having fun with your children

We are having a lot of fun around here this summer. The boys have taken to swimming, well-like fish to water. Especially Cole. It doesn’t matter what kind of water it is- he loves it. From water from the hose, to the kiddie pool, to the sprinkler, to the water at the swimming pool- he is thrilled around water.

We have been trying to go swimming at least once a week. We are pretty lucky that our town has two great kiddie pools, that we can alternate between them. Today we took the boys to the kiddie pool in town that has a slide. It isn’t a huge slide, but it is adequate for kids of all sizes.

I say that because Ryan wouldn’t go on it. He didn’t want to at all. But Cole- we couldn’t keep him off of it. Never mind that he was the only two year old going down the slide. Never mind that all the other kids going down the slide were at least twice his age. He was just in his own little world, and he was going down that slide as much as he wanted.

He would climb up the rock stairs, and wait his turn-just like all the other kids. Then when it was his turn, he’d sit on the slide, and look at the water running down it. Oblivious to the fact, that he was holding up the line. He just had a grin on his face a mile wide. He had waited in line, and he was going to make the most of it! He examined the stream of water coming out of a sprinkler to keep the slide wet, and had to touch it and play with the water. No amount of coaxing from his daddy or mommy would make him hurry up. This was his time to decide when he was ready to slide.

And when he decided it was time to go, he let go, and swish…down the slide he went, with even a bigger smile into his daddy’s arms. If he got water in his eyes, or in his nose, it didn’t bother him. He would laugh, and quickly squirm out of daddy’s arms to go get in line again, and do what he just did, all over again.

Ryan was just happy to be bouncing around in the water and playing. At one point he came up to me, gave me a hug and said, “I’m having so much fun in this pool Mom.” Another time, I was holding him in the deeper water, and he told me to take him back to shallow water, because he had a great idea. Once we were in the shallow water, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. So we did a little waltz in the water.

I had so much fun playing and watching my boys today. They are so sweet and innocent, and watching them have fun, just made me appreciate again how fortunate we are to have them. It doesn’t get much better than dancing in water with your four and a half-year old, or seeing pure joy and excitement in your two year-old’s face, as he experiences a water slide for the first time.

When I was a kid, my mom used to take us swimming, but she never went swimming herself. She said she had just as much fun, sitting on a beach blanket watching us. I never understood that growing up- but today I did. I understand what she meant all those years ago. As long as your kids are having fun, and enjoying themselves then you are too, and it is the most fun you will ever have.

Next year, Ryan will be starting kindergarten. I wonder where in the world has the time gone? I remember holding my brand new baby, and thinking he would be little forever. Now this is almost our last summer before we have to think about starting school.

As a mother of two, day-to-day life is busy. There is always something going on. Just when you think you have put out all the fires for the moment- BOOM- something literally goes boom (like a broken toy), or a new situation arises that needs your attention- either an argument breaks out, the laundry needs to be put away, a hungry child, there is a dirty diaper that needs to be changed, or your child just wants your attention to ask you why the sky is blue.

During the last four and a half years of Ryan’s life, I have focused on the day at hand, and haven’t really thought very much about the days, weeks, and months that lie ahead. It seems as soon as you make plans a few days, or weeks ahead, then BOOM. Something always comes up that inadvertently forces you to change your plans- a sick child, or a child that didn’t sleep well the night before, and is in no mood to be taken anywhere.

I suppose for sake of not being disappointed if my outings and activities, didn’t work out, I have just gotten in the habit of not really planning anything. That is how our day-to-day life has been, especially throwing a new baby/toddler in the mix with Cole’s arrival two years ago.

It hit me the last few weeks, that time is running out. All those weeks, months, and years that I thought were indefinite, are almost up. I don’t have endless time with my boys, before they are off to school, and in a sense, off to start their lives somewhat separate from us.

It made me sad that I don’t have photo books full of pictures of all the fun and exciting places, I have been to with Ryan and Cole. Will they wonder why they can’t remember going to the zoo, or the museum every week? Will they wonder why their mother was too busy in day-to-day life, and why she couldn’t just let things “go” every now and then?

Part of my reasoning has also been that they were too little…they wouldn’t remember these things anyway. But now they are getting older, and it is important that we remember having fun together. I have decided this summer, we are going to have fun and start making memories.

I didn’t sign Ryan up for preschool for the summer, and didn’t sign up for music classes for the boys, to keep our days open. Ryan will have swimming lessons only one day a week. I still have to work a few days during the week, but on the other days, we are going to do fun things. We aren’t going to go to the zoo or children’s museum every week, but I plan on making sure they at least know what a zoo and museum are. If my house isn’t as clean as I would like, or the laundry doesn’t get done, then so-be-it. We have at least a week of clean clothes hanging in our closets. 🙂

Every mother has regrets at some point, and I know down the road I would look back and regret the way I have spent some of this precious time that I have with my boys. I don’t get any do-over’s and once it is gone, that is it. I don’t want to look back in 18 years, when Ryan and Cole have moved out, and have started their own lives, and realize I was too busy folding laundry, and vacuuming to have really enjoyed these early years with them.

I know I will miss them when they are gone. I seriously doubt I will wish that I had spent more time doing housework, or wished that I had been able to complete more work from home. I will be looking back at pictures of them- the places we went, the places we saw, and our time together. I will be remembering. I don’t want us to remember the one time we went to the zoo, or the one time we threw the schedule out the window and went and played all day.

When that day comes, when all I have is the memories and photos of my boys as they are now, I won’t be looking for pictures of my clean house, or an empty dishwasher. I won’t be remembering all the trips to the grocery store I made before lunch time. I won’t be looking for work projects I completed. I will be looking for their smiles- their joy- their happiness-their innocence. I will be looking for their childhood.

As a mother, the days are long but the years are short. While I still have time, before too many years are gone, I’m going to start working this summer on creating memories with my young sons worth remembering.