Categories
Breastfeeding Current Events

UPDATE: Nursing Mom Gets Extra Time For Test

Here is an update on the story of Sophie Currier, the nursing mother of a 4-month old, who sued the National Board of Medical Examiners, because they would not allow her extra breaks to pump, during her nine hour medical licensing exam. 

An appeals court judge ruled on Wednesday, that she must be given extra time for breaks. 

Good for Sophie, for challenging the ruling, and it looks like she missed her first test date, since she was suing, but is set to take the test now on October 4th and 5th.  Good luck to her on the exam, and this is a great story on how one person CAN make a difference.

Here is the link if you want to read the entire story.

https://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/B/BREAST_FEEDING_DISPUTE?SITE=FLSTU&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Categories
Activities Cole Family & Friends Mothering Ryan

The Music “Man”

I was raised watching musicals.  My mother loved them and was very particular about what we got to watch on TV.  At the risk of sounding old, in those days it was pretty much you either rented a video or taped it off TV, trying to pause out the commercials.  I don’t even think a lot of the musicals were available in the ONE family owned video rental business in the town I grew up in- there was no NetFlicks, or Blockbuster. 

So, my mom would check out the TV guide every week, and if she saw a musical was coming on, she would tape it off TV.  Even though my brother and sisters, and I pretended we did not like them, the truth was we did- we watched, The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, The King and I, Oklahoma, The Music Man, Gigi, Fiddler on the Roof, and Camelot, to name a few, over and over again. 

Needless to say, a lot of the songs and tunes I still remember today.  As a side note, all my brother’s girlfriends, and now his wife LOVE the fact, that he not only will go to a musical, but he knows most the dialog, songs, and he LIKES it.  I guess that is a benefit when you have three sisters!

If I had to say I had a favorite musical, it would probably be My Fair Lady.  I just love the story, the music, and the fact that the movie had Audrey Hepburn in it.  But, every time I see or hear music from another musical, I like them all over again.

A few weeks ago, as I was dishing out some ice cream for Ryan, a song popped into my head from Music Man– where Harold Hill teaches the school board members to sing, by just saying, “ice cream.”  If you have seen this show, you will know what I am talking about- if not, just bear with me, and see this show!  I started to sing “ice cream,” like they did in the movie, getting really loud, like the last little short guy did.  Ryan laughed and sang it right back to me.  Then he asked me why I was singing that. 

So I explained to him it was from a show, where a man teaches some people to sing.  He seemed really interested, so I told him I would try to find the movie for him so we could watch it.  I couldn’t find the movie in any of the video stores (just like old times,) so I ordered it off Amazon.  In the mean time, I had the soundtrack on CD.  Don’t know when I got that, but it was in my collection.  So I started playing the CD when we were in the car.

Ryan absolutely loves, “76 Trombones.”  He could sing the entire song after hearing the song for a few days.  When the DVD arrived and we watched a little of it, including that scene in the gym, where the song gets sung, and he was hooked. Cole even started dancing around, when members of the town started dancing in the movie.  He starts shaking his little bum, and bopping up and down.  In the car, when the music comes on, he starts patting his hands on his legs, and wiggling his toes- it is the cutest thing ever. 

Now Ryan goes in the back yard, and stands on our single step from the door to the patio, and acts out the scene from the gym.  He raises his hands and sings, “Please observe me if you will, I’m Professor Harold Hill, and I’m here to organize a River City boy’s band,” and then does the drum roll. After that, he jumps of the step, grabs his “baton,” and launches into the full three-year-old version of “76 Trombones,” as loud as he can, singing and dancing.  I am sure our neighbors think they are stuck in some awful time warp, but it is the most adorable thing for Joe and I to watch.  I tried to catch him on video, and I got a little, but as soon as he sees me he stops. 

The last few days, he got Cole involved, and now Cole is his “band.”  He’ll say to him, “Come on Coley, let’s go play Music Man,” and lead him outside, and then have Cole follow him around while he is singing- just like a real band conductor!   Cole thinks this is just wonderful. 

If nothing else, we have seen how much Ryan really loves music, and we think he has a pretty good ear for it.  He can really belt out the song, and surprisingly it is in tune for most of the song.  We are seriously thinking about having him take voice lessons at some point, since he likes to sing so much.  My next step is to find some theater in our area that will be playing the show.  There is a great kid theatre right in our town, and they switch shows quite often, so hopefully they will be showing it soon.  In the meantime, we get to hear our little Music Man’s sweet little voice, and get to see his sidekick brother dance, and play in the “band.”   

It is funny how what you do as a mother, can get extended beyond you.  If my mother never exposed us to musicals to the extent that she did, who knows if I would be able to share them with my children?   I doubt she ever imagined that one day her grandson would be belting out these songs, and acting out the musical.  It is so simple, and yet they are getting such joy out of it- yet another thing that I had no idea I would care about, while I was living it, or before I had kids.

In other news, if you are still reading- Joe had a milestone birthday today- the big 4-0! He didn’t want any fanfare, (which means a party), so we had a low-key day.  Ryan’s preschool had a band playing today, so we went there and listened to them play for a while, and then the boys played around.  We went and got dinner at a BBQ place, and then went and got Joe’s present- an iPod.  Yes, you read that right- an iPod. 

I know I have almost prided ourselves on not having an iPod, but Joe runs 5 days out of the week, and has been wanting one for a while.  This seemed like the perfect “excuse” to get one.  Now that I see it though, I want one, but I don’t run 5 days a week, and I am not likely to start anytime soon- even for an iPod.

Categories
Current Events Parenting

Co-Sleeping in the Media

Perhaps you have heard excerpts this week on Brad Pitt’s interview with People Magazine. 

Amy, from Crunchy Domestic Goddess, wrote up a wonderful blog post on the issue of co-sleeping.  With her permission, I have posted her post below, and I have some further comments after her post:

From Crunchy Domestic Goddess:

“I tend not to write much about celebrities on my blog. As a general rule, I find there’s just too much other stuff going on in the world (especially my family’s world) for me to discuss who’s doing/saying what out in Hollywood. But when I heard that Brad Pitt (and then Kevin Kline) recently made comments about co-sleeping, something I just wrote about a few days ago, it was a) timely, b) something near and dear to my heart and c) I felt compelled to post.

From People magazine:

Brad Pitt says he and Angelina Jolie are going to need a bigger bed – for their expanding brood.

“We’re not done,” Pitt, 43, quipped, acknowledging public interest in the family’s growth. “They say, ‘Any plans for a fifth?’ And I say, ‘And a sixth, and a seventh, and an eighth, and a ninth.’ That’s my answer.”

“We also made a 9-foot-wide bed” that fits him, Jolie, 32, and all four children, Pitt who is starring in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, told the Associated Press. “Just big enough. One more and we’ll have to go to 11 feet.”

—————————–

From OK! Magazine:

Kevin Kline, 59, agrees with fellow actor Brad Pitt when it comes to the family bed, also known as co-sleeping. He and his wife, actress Phoebe Cates, 44, still allow son Owen, 16, and daughter, Greta, 13, to join them at night.

There is a theory that a child has to teach itself to go to sleep, and if every time it cries you whisk them out of their bed – the jury is still out on that. But our kids still sleep in our bed.

Kevin admits that every parent questions whether or not to have their children sleep with them.

There are so many books that say ‘It’s the family bed, why not?’ and there are others that say ‘Oh no.’ It all depends about their age.’

—————————–

Jane London, a deejay from radio station Mix 100, recently spoke her mind on the air about Brad Pitt’s co-sleeping, calling it “creepy.” When questioned about her statement she responded, “I find the thought of having 10 people in one bed to be somewhat disturbing, to say the least.” You will notice from her bio that Jane has no children. I think it’s easier to pass judgment on others’ parenting when you haven’t had the experience of parenting yourself.

Personally, I think it’s great that Brad and Angelina are co-sleeping, for a couple of reasons. My guess is that children of celebrities don’t have the most stable lives. One parent is off working, while the other cares for the children, then the one parent comes home and the other goes off to film a movie. (Brad even indicates this in his interview.) When they are out in public, they are hounded by the paparazzi. I would think that could be rather frightening to a child. I think by providing a safe nighttime environment, such as a family bed, they are helping their children feel secure and a closeness with the parents and siblings. The other thing is that three of their children are adopted and I think by having a family bed, the kids are able to bond more quickly with their family. And just because Brad says they have plans for more children does not mean they will be biological children. I think there’s a good chance they will be adopting again. So the family bed will help the children with the transition into their new family.

A friend of mine is in the process of adopting two children and she told me that when you are adopting, it’s advised that you treat the children the same way you would treat a biological baby for the first year to facilitate bonding. In other words, if you would co-sleep with a newborn, then you should co-sleep with your adopted child as well. There’s actually a really good article about the family bed and adoptive families

And I’m glad that Kevin Kline is showing his support by admitting that his family also shares a family bed from time to time. I believe that when kids know that they can go to their parents, whether it’s during the day or in the middle of the night, that helps to foster a secure and trusting relationship. And as the children get older, like in Kevin’s family’s case, hopefully that equates to the children feeling like they can talk to their parents about anything – drugs, alcohol, sex, abuse, etc. I believe that to have a secure parent-child relationship, you need to keep the lines of communication open, and not shut off to them just because it’s dark out.

A different friend of mine made a very important point in that people seem to forget that we are mammals. She said, “Mammals give birth, lactate (and nurse their young until about the age when permanent teeth erupt) and sleep with their young closely attached. If humans had given up these behaviors, even in the last 200 years, we would probably be extinct as a species.”

She also pointed out that just because we can afford larger houses with multiple bedrooms, it doesn’t mean that our needs as mammals have changed. A lot of this is covered in the book, “Our Babies, Ourselves” by Meredith Small, and is a fascinating read if you ever have the chance. I read it a few years ago and should really get my own copy since it’s such a great book (and highly quotable). I’m kicking myself now for not having a copy of my own on hand.

I did, however, find some related information on The Natural Child Project: Throughout human history, breast-feeding mothers sleeping alongside their infants constituted a marvelously adaptive system in which both the mothers’ and infants’ sleep physiology and health were connected in beneficial ways. By sleeping next to its mother, the infant receives protection, warmth, emotional reassurance, and breast milk – in just the forms and quantities that nature intended.

My point is that I know co-sleeping is not for everyone, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the people who do choose to do it. Just because a family bed is not something everyone in this culture subscribes to, that doesn’t make it bad or wrong. There are very valid reasons to support co-sleeping. If Brad and Angelina want to have the Biggest Bed in the World, more power to them. But to say that they are “creepy” because of their choice just seems ignorant and close-minded to me.

It sounds to me like Brad and Angelina are trusting their instincts and doing what’s right for their family. We could all learn something from that.

For more information about the family bed, visit Ask Dr. Sears or The Natural Family Project.”

END OF CRUNCHY DOMESTIC GODDESS’ POST

******************************************************

I agree with Amy on everything she wrote, and I’m adding in, that I contacted the radio station and Jane London, the DJ, who remarked that co-sleeping was “creepy.”  Here is what I wrote her (via e-mail):

…(regarding the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Story on their 9 foot bed, so they could sleep with their kids,)

     “Jane said she knew Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie were trying to be progressive, but it was just weird and “creepy” that they would want to sleep in the same bed with their kids!  It sounded like she was trying to imply that they were weird, and like something was wrong with them, like they must be child molesters or something if they want to sleep in the same bed as the kids. 

I thought it was really inappropriate and insensitive to all the families who DO sleep w/ their kids (co-sleeping is the correct term), not just because of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

Do Mix 100 and Jane know that studies and statistics prove that co-sleeping reduces SIDS rates in babies?  Research shows that infants who sleep in a crib are twice as likely to suffer a sleep related fatality (including SIDS) than infants who sleep in bed with their parents.  Furthermore, recent studies show that more than half of all Americans share their bed at some point with their children.  Many parents across the world co-sleep with their children.  Co-sleeping also allows mothers who are breastfeeding, more rest and sleep, since they can feed their child without having to get up, walk around, and then try to put the baby back to sleep in a crib. 

I don’t think it is right for Mix 100 and Jane to suggest and hint that parents who do choose co-sleep with their children are doing something wrong, or are “creepy.”  On the contrary, parents who share their bed with their children are more likely than not, very attached and bonded with their children, as are many parents who do not co-sleep.  Jane’s comments show a total lack of understanding and ignorance on co-sleeping.  I am very offended by Jane’s comments, and imagine many other listeners are too. 

This isn’t about a trendy celebrity couple trying to be “progressive,”- it is about normal families- mothers and fathers- trying to bond with and nurture their children.  How dare Jane suggest that this is “creepy,” and doesn’t need to be done!  If parents don’t nurture their children, who will?  

I hope Mix 100 and Jane will realize how insensitive these comments were, and issue an apology to their listeners immediately.”

The next day, I received this response (via-e-mail) from Jane:

“Heather

thanks for the note..i’m actually quite aware of the whole co-sleeping movement and have no problem if you’d like to sleep with your infants.

The brad pitt comment involved his announcement that they would like to have 8 or 9 kids and have everyone sleep together in one big bed…yep, that’s a bit odd in my book…i personally believe that past a certain age, kids should be in their own beds and OUT of the marital bed.  That is for two adults, who have an intimate relationship.

I use the word creepy quite often, as it’s one of my favorites.  I find the thought of having 10 people in one bed to be somewhat disturbing, to say the least.  I would say with a fair amount of confidence that most people would agree with me on that point. 

as for your assumption that many of our listeners were ‘offended’ and upset by my rather tame comments, you are the only one that i’ve heard from on this matter, so i’m not sure what that says.

thanks for taking the time to write…

Jane”

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but I still think her comments were disrespectful towards families who co-sleep, and she doesn’t really understand “the whole co-sleeping movement,” because if she did, she would realize that it isn’t “creepy” to have your children next to you while you sleep. How many parents across the globe, snuggle and have their children in bed with them at some point during their childhoods? 

I find it interesting too that Jane uses an argument that a lot of people use when they don’t understand co-sleeping in that they think it disrupts the “martial bed.”  

It has been mentioned already that Jane doesn’t have children, and if she did she would know that there are a lot of other things that disrupt the “martial bed,” when you have children- sick kids, kids who don’t sleep well, kids that get scared at night, getting up to nurse / feed the baby, etc.  I don’t think two adults that decide to co-sleep with their kids will have any problems finding other times and or places to share and be intimate with each other. 

I also read something from Angelina Jolie which said, she and her first son, Maddox, co-slept, before she was even with Brad (or with a partner).  So I wonder how Jane would respond to that- how can the marital bed be disrupted by co-sleeping if you don’t have a marital bed?

I was bummed when I read her comments, because she probably is right, that most people would agree with her, even though the majority of other cultures in the world DO co-sleep.  However, I was glad that I expressed my thoughts to her, and hope maybe someone else would also contact her and the station, to let them know their thoughts on the subject. 

Sometimes it feels like standing up for something when it is in the minority, is an uphill battle, but unless you get your thoughts, opinions, and facts out there, how can we ever expect any change?

A reader who commented on Crunchy Domestic Goddess’ post said something like years ago she never, never, would have told anyone that they co-slept, and she thought it was neat celebrities now were freely talking about it.  I hate to say that in our culture, it seems like if you do something that isn’t in the “mainstream,” then you are “weird,” and “creepy,” but if a celebrity mentions that they also do it, whether it is co-sleeping, home / natural birth, breastfeeding, or a diet, then all of a sudden it doesn’t seem so “out there” anymore. 

I think it is great for everyone who follows their instincts and what their heart tells them to do, regarding their children- co-sleeping or not, and I am also happy to see celebrities starting to speak up about these issues too, for the above mentioned reasons.  When we all do what is natural and what our instincts tell us, we usually are doing the right thing.  For anyone else to call that “creepy,” is just plain wrong. 

Categories
Activities Cole Family & Friends Household Mothering Ryan School Work

Odds and Ends

I have left a few open-ended posts and events “out there” the last few weeks, so here is a wrap up, on all those issues.

For our fifth year anniversary, Joe and I both had such a busy week; it kind of snuck up on us.  We realized we didn’t have a babysitter.  My dad tried to rearrange his work schedule so he could baby sit at the last minute for us, but it didn’t work out.  So we took the kids to the mall, where they got to play in the play area and at Pottery Barn Kids.  Then we got pizza at California Pizza Kitchen.  

So we had a nice night- it was kind of special to think back five years ago we were at our wedding and now we were sharing our special day with the two lil’ monkey’s we love the most- our little boys.  🙂   Ryan was interested in the wedding pictures I was putting on the blog, so I got to talk to him about our wedding. 

We also passed a Crocs vendor in the mall, which had every size Crocs in every color imaginable.  Cole loves trying on and walking around in Ryan’s Crocs, so we couldn’t resist any longer and picked him up his own pair in Peacock Blue- here is a picture of him the next day with his first pair of Crocs.

colesept.jpg

We also got the window repaired on my car.  Our mechanic is wonderful, and we have had some issues in the past, where I bought the car in when something wasn’t working and they have fixed it for free!  One time a vacuum hose was broken and the air conditioning was only blowing out of the defrost vent.  So I knew a broken window regulator was going to cost, but it was almost $500 after parts and labor.  Ouch.  I feel like the mechanic is honest though, and I am sure we would have been charged at least this much, if not more anyplace else.  Also, since they have fixed things free for us before, of course I wanted to give them the business.  What are you going to do?  I need a window, and the duct tape and hanger was giving out, after my drive to work.  🙂

Speaking of work, I absolutely love, love it.  I love the work- stimulating, but not over my head, with variety.  The other day while I was working, I thought how quiet it was in the office, and realized how much I was getting done, in a short amount of time.  It never is like that at home.  I can’t work on any project more than five minutes without a little voice asking me for something, or another little voice crying or making noises at me to get my attention.  So it has been lovely.  I am hoping I can start to work another half day for a few weeks in order to speed the training and learning curve along, so I’ll be able to work independently on Saturday’s.  Since no one else would be in the office that day, I’d have to be up to speed.  I am looking into some short-term childcare options.

Ryan adores his preschool.  I think Auntie Mara left a comment where she wondered how long it would be before Ryan wanted to go two days.  Well, it was exactly one time!  He asks all the time now when he gets to go to school.  This school runs in quarters, so after three months in November, we will have the option of continuing, and I am sure we will be adding another day- much to Ryan’s delight.  He also has fun playing with two of his friends, both boys, who are right around his age.  He said his friend, Leif, and him last week, pretended a train was a roller coaster.  I am glad he is making friends and learning how to play with other kids his age. 

Last week they took a “field trip” off the farm to an actual field (corn to be exact), where they picked an ear of corn, and then took it back to the farm and painted it.  Ryan was so proud of it, and now it is displayed on our fireplace mantle.  He also told me he got to walk in the mud!  Ah-the life of a three-year-old boy!

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know how we have struggled with getting Cole to sleep.  About a month ago, we finally moved his crib out of our room and into Ryan’s room.  Finally, he is sleeping so much better!  I nurse him to sleep (around 8:30), and now instead of waking up every two to three hours, he’ll only usually wake up once now.  Usually around 1am, sometimes 3am.  Last week he was teething, so he woke up a few more times, but I nurse him for about 10 minutes, and he goes right back to sleep.  I feel like a new woman, actually getting 5-7 hours of sleep now in a stretch instead of two.  

I just had to share the picture below.  It is good to keep your baby rear facing in their car seat as long as possible, even if they are over a year old and over 20 pounds, both of which Cole is.  He finally outgrew sitting rear facing, so a few weeks ago, Joe turned his car seat around, and so he is forward facing now.  He found these sunglasses while Joe was fitting the seat, and just had to wear them. 

colesept2.jpg

He really likes sitting forward facing.  He takes his Crocs off, and rolls the window down with his toes.  He thinks that is the coolest thing ever.  He is just the sweetest little guy right now.  He smiles almost the entire day, and he has developed dimples.  Good thing he can’t talk, because if he asked me for anything with that smile, I know I wouldn’t be able to resist. 

Categories
Breastfeeding Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

Can You Help La Leche League Group in NY?

I recently was contacted by a La Leche League  leader, Whitney, in New York, who told me La Leche League of New York West is planning an area conference (for October 5-7 in Grand Island, New York). 

They are holding a silent auction fundraiser at this conference and they need silent auction items.  They will be acknowledging all auction donors in their conference booklet. They will also display company-marketing materials next to any donations they receive for the auction. Whitney said they are expecting between 100-200 women plus their partners and children to participate. 

I absolutely adore the LLL-I have found so many helpful articles on their website when I have had breastfeeding, issues, problems, or questions.  Furthermore, their book, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding,”  is just a wonderful resource for anyone who has questions about nursing, or who is planning to nurse, and just needs to know where to begin.  It also has great troubleshooting solutions in it, and I think of this book as my “bible” for nursing. 

So, I was very happy to donate a breastfeeding shirt, and bumper sticker from my on-line shop, Little Pumpkin Sweet Pea Designs for their auction. 

If you can donate any items to this group, I know they would appreciate it.  You can contact the La Leche League leader, Whitney, by e-mail.  She can give you all the details.  But please hurry, because Whitney needs to receive all donations in the next couple of weeks, if you want to be recognized in the conference booklet. 

If you think you can help, that is great, and I know they thank you in advance.  It is for a wonderful cause.  Every nursing mother (or mother-to-be thinking about nursing), needs support, and the LLL is always there.  Now there is a simple way to give back to a local chapter of this wonderful organization!  🙂