Tag: thyroid cancer

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Cancer Family & Friends Health losing a parent Mothering Parenting

April 18th- Birthday and Cancer

 

Birthday and cancer may seem like an odd title, but April 18th, would have been my mom’s 63rd birthday.  She passed away 2 years ago, and I can’t help but think about her today. Losing a parent never really goes away.  There are always reminders, birthdays, holidays, and family events that tend to make you stop and remember.  Fortunately, I have a lot of happy memories of her, and that is what I like to remember about her.

I actually skipped the cemetery visit today. I’ve always gone on her birthday, and death anniversary. But this year, I don’t feel the need.  I know she is in a better place, and even though her remains are buried, I don’t think her spirit is in the cemetery. Her spirit is in the memories my siblings and I have of her, and in our children.  People often tell me what great kids I have, and credit that to my mom.  She was a good mom, and I model a lot of my parenting after my mom.  When I’m facing parenting issues I have no idea on how to handle, I think back to what she did, and 9 times out of 10 it works with my kids.

So today, in her honor, I’m going to spend some extra time with Ryan and Cole, and tell them a story about when I was a little girl with my mom. I have the picture books she put together, and I’m going to find the book with my first trip to Disneyland, when I was 6, and show those pictures to the boys, and tell them what I remember about it and my mom.  I think that will do more to honor her spirit and teach my boys about their Nana, then going to the cemetery.

April 18, 2009 was the day I received the phone call from my doctor that changed my life- forever.  I was told I had thyroid cancer. That day seemed so long ago, and yet, it seems like it was yesterday. I remember wondering what was going to happen to my boys. I remember my family and friends telling me I was going to beat this, and be okay.  I remember being the most scared I ever was.  I remember crying for hours and then stopping.  Getting dressed and going out with my family and friends.  Being normal, in an abnormal situation.   Knowing I had to for my kids.  Nothing else mattered. They needed their mom- every child does. I remember that night resolving no matter what, I was going to fight and do whatever I needed to do, to fight cancer, get healthy, and live so my kids didn’t have to grow up without me.

It isn’t always been easy. I have to do follow up visits every time this year, that stress me out and bring up all the “what if’s,” again. But, three years after a cancer diagnosis, with the help, support, and love of my kids, family, and friends, what I envisioned as hope, three years ago, is a reality.

I wish I had time to respond to all the emails I get from thyroid cancer patients, but I just don’t anymore.  I am planning to write another post soon, addressing a lot of comments, questions, and issues, I’ve received in emails.  I haven’t written about cancer in a long time, but this date is significant for me.  No one knows what is around the corner, but those of us who have had cancer, happen to know some of what we need to deal with.  My boyfriend, John, pointed out to me this past week, I know what I am dealing with, and can stay on top of it. It actually does make it easier in some respects.

The only way cancer wins out is if it steals your spirit from you. There were days when I was fighting cancer, I didn’t care if I was alive or not. Then I remembered my kids and family.  Let them be your strength.  Let people help you.  Even though it is a battle, thyroid cancer is curable.  Don’t let it take your passion, drive, and optimism away.

One of my favorite things I read when I was fighting cancer was, “Cancer is a word. Not a sentence.” Sometimes it is easy to let it become a sentence, but it doesn’t help you in the long term.  Three years ago, as I was crying on my bed for hours, I would have never imagined I would be in the best health of my life, cancer free, biking, 30+ miles, placing in competitive running races, and thriving, within a few short years.

I want anyone who is fighting cancer, to know life is what you make of it- cancer or no cancer. Don’t let it become your “sentence.” Fight with everything you have to keep it a word.  Fight with all you have, and then some, to beat it.  It is hard at times- most things worthwhile are.  But, three years later I can tell you, from being there and back, it is one of the most important things you will ever do.

My mom passed away before I got my cancer free diagnosis last year.  But she saw me fight it, and continuing to live my life.  One of the last conversations I had with her in the hospice, she held my hand with what little strength she had left, and told me I was fine. She told me to keep running; she could see how strong it was making me.  She said she knew the cancer was gone- she said I was just too strong for it to survive- I was stronger than cancer. She was right.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I love you.

To all my thyroid cancer fighters and survivors: Keep fighting! Cancer is a word. Not a sentence.

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Cancer Cole Family & Friends Health Ryan

Surgery to Prevent Cancer

I had a laser surgery yesterday to remove the precancerous cell growth I had.  I’m very happy to be able to type this today- the surgery went great.  It was much better than I had been expecting.  The nurses, and doctors were so organized and on top of it all.  I am feeling groggy and dizzy from the anesthesia, but the pain is not nearly as bad as I had thought it might be.

The hardest moment for me was when I was in the pre-op bed, with the IV in waiting for the surgery to start. In the hospital bed like that, I felt sick.  I missed Ryan and Cole so much.  A lot of memories of surgery and cancer came back to me.  I knew this wasn’t cancer, but those “what-ifs” seem to have a way of creeping in.  I was going to be unconscious during the surgery, and that made me nervous.  I also saw my chart binder with my last name, and it reminded me of seeing that binder when I was in the hospital with my mom before she passed away.  I missed her a lot yesterday.

But my family and friends had called and texted me before the surgery, and I knew they were thinking of me.  I was able to mentally make the shift that I was not sick, this was a preventative surgery, and it would be better I was asleep during the surgery.

A day after, I hope this was the last surgery I will ever have to have.  As I wrote in my last post, I have made a few changes in my life, to work on keeping my stress down.  It takes a conscious effort, but I definitely do not want to get any more cancers, or abnormal cells that could develop into cancer.

I have received a lot of email from thyroid cancer patients and survivors.  It seems like we all have our struggles.  One person I know is still having dosage problems for Synthroid two years after the fact.  Another person  still doesn’t feel back to normal after two years as well, and is nervous about developing more cancers.

Yesterday all the nurses and doctors who looked at my chart told me I was a very healthy person.  I was a little surprised to hear them all say that.  When I asked them even though I had thyroid cancer, they said yes- from a medical perspective, thyroid cancer is treatable and curable, and they look at the overall health picture.

I wanted to write and share this, because it is too easy once you’ve had cancer, to stop viewing yourself as healthy. I like what the medical staff had said, it’s an overall health picture. One cancer, or two- a few surgeries, doesn’t make you an unhealthy person.  I am going to make that mind shift and keep all of it perspective.

Thank you to John, who took excellent care of me after the surgery last night,  my friends and family for your well wishes, and for checking in with me today.  I’m also very grateful to Ryan and Cole’s father’s family who are helping out with their care this week, so I can recover.

As I’ve written so many times, cancer does change you, and there are good parts to it and not so good parts to it.  But, the main thing is to keep on top of it, and trust your body.  It will be a fight for probably the rest of our lives, but as all cancer patients and survivors know- it is well worth it.

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Cancer Family & Friends Health

Health & Stress

June 12th marked two years since I had my thyroidectomy and neck dissection to treat thyroid cancer.  I was planning to write a special blog post with references and guides for thyroid cancer patients.  When I started researching the condition, it was hard to find credible sources and information, and I thought it would be nice to have a source guide with all the valuable links to the information I have found and used over the past two years.

I still plan to write that, but it will have to wait.  On June 14th, I received the results from a biopsy.  It showed a moderate abnormal growth of cells, which I was told if left untreated, develops into cancer.  The condition is rare- my doctor said less than 1% of women ever develop this, and he didn’t even have that much information he could share with me, since his practice rarely has a patient with this. He said they don’t know what causes it, but a weakened immune system is suspected. 

It felt like déjà vu, and it was upsetting.  There wasn’t a lot of information on the Internet. But what I was able to find, was pretty much the same information my doctor had told me.  As I talked to my family and friends, the reality of what I need to do, became clear.

I had a few hours where I realized and accepted, like it or not, my immune system is weakened because of my prior cancer.  When I was recovering two years ago, I was really careful with not over doing it, resting, eliminating unnecessary stresses, and not “sweating the small stuff.”  I realized I’ve not been doing a great job of that lately.  As I discovered, when I don’t do these things, my health suffers. 

I decided to ask my doctor if he knew of any other doctors who specialize in this condition, and who were familiar with the more advanced treatment options.  He was able to refer me to specialist and I have an appointment with her next week.

After doing more research I believe I will be fine.  I think this was caught early enough and it is treatable.  I can liken it to when you find a suspicious mole and they tell you it needs to be removed because it could develop into melanoma if it is left untreated.  

Receiving news like this again- puts it in perspective.  There are very few things in life that are so important, it is worth the stress.  At times, the little things seem big.  Some of these things I can control, some of them I can’t.  It is hard to admit I can’t do it all. But trying to, and neglecting my health, isn’t an option for me anymore.    

The past few weeks, I’ve reevaluated ways I can cut down on my stress levels, and started working on building up my immune system. I don’t have the specialist’s diagnosis yet, but I feel like I have already started to fight this with these changes.      

I think health conditions can be a manifestation of stress.  One of the best books I’ve ever read on this topic is When the Body Says No, by Gabor Mate.  When things in your life aren’t working; your body gives you clues. What we chose to do with the clues-what we choose to change, can make all the difference.

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Cancer Family & Friends Health

Cancer Recurrence Tests

I am being tested this week for any traces of thyroid cancer that may be remaining, or for a recurrence.  I’ve had to put this test off for 6 months, so I’m very glad I’m doing it now, but with any type of cancer test- it’s a little scary too. 

I wasn’t sure what to expect or really what the process was while I was scheduling it.  The nurse at my endocrinologist kept telling me it was a week long process. I am finding out as I go along.  I wanted to share the process for others who will be facing the same test.

On the first two days, Monday and today, I had an injection of the drug, Thyrogen at 8 in the morning.  Thyrogen is used to test the blood for a hormone called thyroglobulin (Tg), which can indicate cancer.  Before Thyrogen, to test for  Tg levels, a patient would have to stop taking any thyroid medication such as Synthroid for six weeks, and become hypothyroid.  I was hypothyroid for almost thirteen weeks after my surgery, and it was one of the most difficult times in my life.  Needless to say, I’m very happy I was able to have Thyrogen.

The shots themselves weren’t bad.  Just more inconvenient than anything.  The nurse I was scheduled with on Monday was 3o minutes late, and I had a tight schedule that morning. I started thinking it was a bad sign, and worries crept in.  I forced myself to think positive thoughts.  The injections were given to me below the hip, pretty much in my gluteal muscles.  I had Cole with me on Monday, and he thought it was very funny Mom got a shot there. 

The rest of the day on Monday, I felt great. I felt like I normally do.  With Daylight Savings having just started, it was light out when I got home from work with the boys, and I ran a fast one mile.  A few hours after the shot on Tuesday, I started feeling sick.  I was very nauseous, and I had a bad headache.  I felt extremely tired too.  The nausea came and went.  I fortunately was off of work for the day so I was able to rest and take it easier. 

On Wednesday I have to take a dose of radio active iodine in preparation for the full body scan on Thursday.  The dose is very small and there are no restrictions on being around other people or children after I take the dose.  The letter the nuclear medicine department sent me said the radiation dose I’ll be taking is less than what is in a standard x-ray.  I am optimistic I won’t have any side effects.  I have a 15 minute appointment with the doctor, take the pill at the nuclear medicine department, and then drive back to work. 

On Thursday in the afternoon, I have a full body scan.  This is where they will be able to see any “hot” spots, or thyroid cells in my body which can indicate cancer.  The entire appointment is about 45 minutes, but I don’t like the scans.  I have always felt claustrophobic in the machine, and I hate sitting there waiting for it.  So this is the day I’m dreading the most in the process.  My good friend, Amy, is pretty sure she will be able to come with me, and I’ll be very grateful for her presence. 

On Friday morning, I have to have blood drawn, so they can do blood work. The nurse reminded me today how important this step is. She said she has patients all the time that do the entire week, but then don’t have their blood drawn, and she says it is a complete waste.  They won’t have accurate results without the blood work. 

After all of this, I have to wait until next week for the results.  I know I will be thinking of all the “what if’s” during this time, but I am going to try really hard to think of all the positives- like the type of thyroid cancer I had, has about a 3% recurrence rate.  I still feel better physically than I ever have in my life, have never had to have a Synthroid medication adjustment, and the last test I had the Tg level was undetectable.  The odds are definitely in my favor that I am fine, and these tests will confirm that. 

Please think good thoughts for me during the next week, as I do the same for myself.  If anyone wants to add their experience with their thyroid recurrence tests, feel free to do so in the comments.  I’d be interested in hearing how it went for others.

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Cancer Health

Time for Thyroid Cancer Recurrence Tests

It’s been over year since I’ve had to write a blog post about my health.  I say “had to” meaning there was something I had to take care of in regards to my health cancer.  I’ve been very fortunate I haven’t had any issues or problems.

I was supposed to be tested for cancer recurrence this past fall, but because of insurance issues, I had to postpone it.  I was actually relieved I could put it off.  But, it was always there in the back of my mind- I couldn’t delay it forever.  With the New Year, I made myself call and reschedule the tests.

It’s been a while since I met with my endocrinologist to discuss tests procedures in detail.  But they entail injections of thyrogen, over a few days,  to raise my thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) levels to see if I have remaining or a recurrence of thyroid cancer cells. There is also blood work, and a full body scan after the week is over.  In reading more about this, some patients have to have some radioactive iodine (RAI) in order for the scan to be read,  but I haven’t verified with my doctor that will be the case for me.

Yesterday, I received a call from the drug company my doctor ordered thyrogen through.  They told me the thyrogen is over $2,000 with my insurance, and they said I had to pay for it out of pocket before they would ship it to my doctor.  I was expecting it to be expensive, but I wasn’t prepared for that price tag.  My only other “option” would be to go off my thyroid medication for several weeks and go into the hypothyroidism state again.  If you know about my cancer experience, being hypothroid was one of the worse experiences.  I felt like I was 100 years old, and I could barely function.  Obviously, that is not a realistic option.

Last night I was trying to figure things out, and not freak out about the cost. I hadn’t had time to call my insurance yesterday, but I did today and was on hold for almost an hour before I had to hang up, with other things I had to get to.  So needless to say, it’s been stressful thinking about these tests.  I don’t like thinking about how to pay for medicine I wish I didn’t need, for cancer tests, I wish I didn’t have to take. 

This afternoon I received a call from the drug company and they apologized.  They told me they had given me wrong information yesterday, and my insurance is paying for the thyrogen, and it had been shipped to my doctor.  That was good news, but I didn’t feel very happy about still having to take cancer tests- now I just don’t have to pay as much for them.  I still need to follow up with my insurance to find out if I am going to be billed for the thyrogen and how much.  In case others are struggling with this issue, Patient Access Network, was brought to my attention, and they help people cover the cost of co-payments for their cancer and chronic disease medications. 

Now I’ve switched  from thinking about finances to the tests.  The rate of thyroid cancer recurrences is very low.  It is around 3% for the type I had.  I’m told if I did have a recurrence, I would have to take another dose of RAI, and go from there.  The logical part of this tells me I’m fine, and there is nothing to worry about.  But if I am honest, I’m scared.  I don’t like thinking about having cancer again.  In a way, it feels almost worse than when I was first diagnosed, because I didn’t know what having cancer entailed.  Now I do. 

I know like the first time, it’s a battle of sorts-trying to balance the fears and uncertainty between the statistics and odds. I only had a one in ten chance of having thyroid cancer in the first place and I was that “one.”  So as much as I hate thinking about these tests, and what they entail, the only way to find out for sure is to take them.

So ready or not, happy or not, thyroid cancer recurrence tests, here I come.