Tag: running after cancer

Categories
Cancer Choose You Health Running

Resting & Choosing You

Last Saturday, June 12th, was the one year anniversary of my thyroid cancer and neck dissection surgery.  A few months ago, I had a goal- a definite way I wanted to “mark” this day.  I was going to run in a tough half marathon in the mountains of Estes Park, Colorado.  Although I have run a half marathon distance before (13.1 miles) it would have been my first half marathon race.  I thought if I could run a mountain terrain half marathon at an elevation of 7,000+ feet, it would be an excellent foundation to build on for a full marathon. 

I would have had to put in some major training, and if you read my last post, it was obvious it wasn’t going to happen.  I thought a lot about the two races I’ve missed now, because of the time I needed to rest and regroup-physically and mentally.  It is hard missing out on a goal you really want to achieve, when your body won’t let you. 

Thinking back on my surgery from last year, it is amazing to me how much my body has been through, and really-that I can even push it to the limits I do.  I still have shoulder pain from the nerves they had to move in my neck, to get to my lymph nodes.  I’ve recently been told I need to have physical therapy on my shoulder because the muscles are so shortened and out of place.  I hardly notice the pain anymore, and this arm feels just as strong to me as my other arm, which was not affected by the surgery. In just a year-365 days-my body has made a remarkable recovery. 

But I have realized over the last month, I can’t expect my body to recover from a major surgery, heal from cancer, process radioactive iodine, function with almost 100 less lymph nodes, kill off microscopic cancer cells, adjust to thyroid hormones, be a mom, daughter, sister, friend, employee, deal with enormous amounts of stress through a divorce and losing a parent, and push physically as hard as it ever has, and not expect to ever be tired and need a break. 

I missed two goals I really wanted to accomplish, but I have also gained something I never would have otherwise.  Perspective.  My body last month was telling me it needed to rest.  I am glad I listened, because I think it will make me a better and stronger runner overall. 

Last Thursday, I finally had a run where I had a consistent pace again, some distance, and I wasn’t tired.  I had a bit of knee pain still, which I am convinced, is tied into running somehow.  It only started hurting a little over a month ago, when I was running.  I noticed the knee pain, before I tuned into how my body was feeling.  I hiked two weekends ago almost 10 miles on a tough trail, carrying 20+ pounds of equipment, and I had no knee pain whatsoever over the course of two days.  It might sound silly, but on that hiking trip, I decided when my knee didn’t hurt when I ran, the time would be right to come back to race training.  

On Monday I ran.  I wanted to run fast.  I wanted to run a shorter distance and see how it went.  I ran at a fast pace so I had to work, but I did not go “all out.”  I ran on grass, which is harder to run on.  I felt good.  I ended up with one of my fastest times ever for the distance in a training run.   There was only a tingle of knee pain.    

And so, I am beginning again.  I am going to gradually and consistently push forward.  I have a new short-term goal I will write about next week. 

I’ve learned a lot in the last year, but over the last month I have learned one of the most important lessons:  Sometimes by not doing anything, listening to your body, and just being, is the best way to choose you.

(Cross posted at Choose You Blog– a new campaign by The American Cancer Society to help encourage and support women to put their health first in the fight against cancer.)

Categories
Cancer Cole Family & Friends Health Running Ryan

The Perfect Race- The Perfect Ending

On Saturday I ran in the Eagle’s Heart 5K race, trying for my fastest 5K time.  My previous record had been 27:07.  In my last post I explained why I wanted to achieve this so much, and the work I was putting in for it.  My dad was also running in this race as his first 5K.  I had a flood of emotions on Friday.  Everything just hit me at once- cancer, my mom, where I had been health-wise last year.  It was a lot to think about.

I was afraid of failing for a reason I describe at the end of this post.  I thought back to all the runs I have done since September.  It occurred to me I have ran in a lot of different conditions.  I’ve run in freezing cold, and heat.  I’ve run when I was feeling great, and when I was feeling bad. I’ve ran fast, and I’ve ran slow.  I’ve ran in pain, and I’ve ran pain free. I’ve ran when I felt like I could go on forever, and I’ve ran where I like I couldn’t take another step.   I told myself I can run in any condition except one- fear.  I was never going to run with fear.

I got up at 6AM on Saturday, and made breakfast for my dad and I.  He made me breakfast for my first race, so I returned the favor.  He arrived at my house at 7, and said he was feeling great.  I had gotten over my funk, and I felt calm and ready.

It was quite a bit cooler and it was windy where the race was being held.  My dad and I warmed up, and walked across the street few minutes to the race site, before it started.  I told my dad I was so proud of him for getting himself in 5K running shape.  He told me I had been his inspiration, and that made me feel good.  He told me not to worry about him, and he’d meet me at the finish line.  A few moments after that, we were off! 

The course started out flat for about 30 seconds, and then there was a hill. I barely noticed it-I just saw the other runners ahead of me running up a hill. It was very satisfying to be able to run up a hill without it affecting my pace.  I didn’t want to get tied to looking at the Garmin, but when I looked at it a few second after the hill, my pace was at 7 minutes a mile.  I was right where I wanted to be. 

I started up at the front.  There were a few men passing me, but no women.  There was a woman who was about a tenth of a mile ahead of me.  She was running really well, and I thought if I could keep the gap between us where it was, I’d be doing really well too. There was enough room on the course to run.  I didn’t have to worry about strollers, or walkers, or having to pass a bunch of people. 

Then I just let everything go from my mind, and ran.  It was like my body took over- it knew what it needed to do. I had done this so many times, and under harder conditions, everything just flowed and came together.  My mind and body were working perfectly.  The first mile seemed to fly by.  I had run it in 7:24.

The second mile had been the hardest in training.  I tended to slow down too much, and then it was hard to pick the pace up again.  The Garmin really came in handy during the second mile.  At times I felt like I was too slow, but I’d look at my pace and see I was actually running faster than I needed to.  I made myself slow down a bit, because we were running down hills, and I knew those would be uphill in the third mile.  The runners who were in the lead started passing us on their return trip back.  I counted the women, and saw there were only 3 of ahead of me.  There had only been a handful of men too, and I started to get excited that I was pretty much in the front of pack.  I passed my dad, and he gave me a thumbs up. 

I was gaining on the woman who had been ahead of me.  We were just starting mile 3, and my pacing was great.  I had planned on running mile 3 in the 9 minute range, but I was running in the low 8 minute range.   After we ran up the hills, and the course evened out, I was starting to get tired. I wanted to try to pass her, but there was still almost a mile to go, and I didn’t want to put the last of my energy into passing her, and then not having enough to finish the race strong.   

I ran a bit slower in the last mile.  But when I came over the last hill, and saw there was about a quarter mile left, I looked at the Garmin and it said 24:24.  I couldn’t believe I had a chance to finish this race in less than 25 minutes!  It was time to give it my all, and go for it! 

It was the moment I had been working and training for.  I sprinted, and ran as fast as I could.  I was getting very tired, but something my friend told me popped in my head, and that was to keep setting goals and keep knocking them down.  I was almost there, and I gave it every last thing I had- I wanted to knock down the 25 minute goal.  I was not going to let that clock turn to 25 minutes, and not be on the other side of the finish line! 

I crossed the finish line, hit stop on my Garmin and it said 24:58.  Emotion hit me then. I had done it, exactly one year after all the uncertainty the cancer diagnosis brought.  But I had just run my perfect race, and the time proved it.  I ran strong, I ran fast, and I and I ran fearlessly.   It was one of the best experiences I have had. 

I drank some water, and then ran back to find my dad to run the rest of the race with him.  I found him with about half a mile to go.  He had taken off his coat and hat and was carrying them.  I took them from him and told him he was almost done.  We ran up that last hill together, and he saw the finish line.  I told him to run, he was almost there, and he was doing great.  He sped up a bit, and crossed the finish line at 33:12.

We were both so happy, and hung around the finish line to cheer for the other racers that were finishing.  As we were getting ready to walk back to the building, they posted the official results.  They had my time at 24:59.  My dad was the top third finisher for his age group, so he was going to get a medal!  (They combined the male and female top finishers for each age group, and they were all men in my age group, so that is why I didn’t qualify for a medal.)

I met up with woman who had been in front of me and I told her she had run a great race.  I told her I had been trying to catch her but couldn’t.  She told me she was glad to hear that, and said she had been worried about me the whole time passing her.  She mentioned she looked behind her throughout the race and saw I was right there.  She said I had been making her run faster, and I told her she had been making me run faster.  It was neat we both pushed each other to do a little better.  

I have not written the main reason why I wanted to break my record in this race.  It was for my boys, Ryan and Cole.  From the moment I found out I had cancer, I worried about them, and how it would affect them.  I worried what their lives would be like if I were sick, or could not maintain my level of activity with them.  Last summer, after my surgery and when my thyroid medication was messed up, I was so sick, and so weak, I could barely take care of them.  They watched me in this state, for almost three months.  They watched me and remember I was too sick to even walk up the stairs.  It was the absolutely worst thing about cancer- not being able to be there for them the way they needed me to. 

I wanted to show them they can overcome the hardest and unexpected obstacles life will throw at them- even cancer.  It might not come easy or instantly, and it might require a lot of hard work, but it is well worth the fight.   I never want them to feel like there is something that they cannot overcome. I wanted to show them, not just tell them, they can fight and work hard, and come back stronger than they were before, and achieve what at times, seems like the impossible. 

That is why I wanted this so much, and worked so hard for it.   So I could make this ending come true for my boys.     

Time: 24:59

Overall: 18th out of 67 runners

Overall Female: 4th out of 26

Female Age Group: 3rd place

My dad and I after the race
With the Bronze Medal Winner!

 

Categories
Cancer Family & Friends Health Running

Do You Really Want It?

“There will come a point in the race, when you alone will need to decide. You will need to make a choice. Do you really want it? You will need to decide.” ~ Rolf Arands

I came across this quote about a month ago, and I thought it was kind of corny the first time I read it, but it seemed to keep popping up.  I thought about it when my dad told me he was ready to try his first 5K race.  He’s been working really hard, and I have no doubt he’ll finish well within his goal of 35 minutes.    

My best 5K race time is 27:07.  I ran this in the second race in November, and I finished in fifth place for my age group.  I’ve wondered why I haven’t been able to run that fast since in a race.  I thought about what I did in that race, that I haven’t done in the races since then.  I have always known I pushed myself in that second race.  I started out faster than I had wanted, but I kept up the pace.  It was one of the harder races I’ve ran, but it was also my fastest.

Since then in races, I start out a comfortable pace, building up my speed for the end of the race.  I’ve been running negative splits.  I have tried several times starting out faster in training 5K runs, and every time I have done this, I’ve ran the 5K distance faster.  But I also have to work very hard during the run- much more than when I run it in negative splits.     

Then I kept thinking about this quote- how much did I really want to work for what I wanted to achieve?  What if I fail at it?  Is it better to try it and fail, or just stay in the comfortable zone, not risking much-not being disappointed?  

I’ve been concentrating on running longer distances since February.  I have to start out at slower paces for those, so switching gears to start out fast for a 5K, is like starting all over again in some aspects.  I know I have the speed to begin, and I know I can do the distance, but can I maintain the speed to get the time I want for the entire distance?  I would also have to train backwards for the 5K from what I was used to.  If I wanted to do this, it was going be a lot of work, and I kept thinking about the quote- “Do you really want it?  You will need to decide.”

I found a smaller 5K for my dad’s first race, which won’t be overly crowded.  The race is this Saturday, April 17th.  It is also the exact day to the year last year, when my surgeon called me at home, on a Saturday, and told me I had cancer.  The actual date was April 18th- my mom’s birthday.  I called my mom when I received my devastating cancer diagnosis, and told her.  I was very upset and scared.   She talked to me for what seemed like hours.  She was positive and optimistic for me.  She told me I was strong and I was going to beat it.  I couldn’t have known at the time it was her last birthday.  I am very grateful my mom saw me beat cancer and knew I was healthy when she passed away.  I am sad it was the way we had to “celebrate” her last birthday. 

My goal is to get a new personal best (PB) time for this race.  I decided I was going to put in whatever work- whatever effort into training and running this race I needed to achieve this goal.   The last few weeks have been the hardest I have ever worked physically.  My focus had always been to finish the race, and get a decent time.  This time my focus has been to train hard, and carry that through the entire race.        

Two weeks ago, I ran the 5K distance and I had cut a full minute off my PB.  I was down to 26:07.  Last week, when I ran it again, my time was 25:56.  My goal is to run the race on Saturday in less than 26 minutes.  I’m not content to say I’ve done my best, and I’ll see what time I get on race day.  I’ve been training and running with this goal in mind for weeks.  I know exactly what kind of race I have to run, to cross the finish line in less than 26 minutes.  I am not going to be content until the race is over, and I have accomplished this goal. 

I was sad, terrified, and uncertain of my future, when I received my cancer diagnosis.  I want to replace that awful day with feelings of happiness, hope, and health.  I got through cancer with love, help, and support from my family and friends.  I want to achieve this for myself, what I have been working so hard for, one year after cancer. 

The choice has been made.  I have decided.  Yes, I really want it.

Categories
Activities Family & Friends Health Me Running

The Second Race

Last week, on Monday, I blogged that I was ready to run, and I was going to push myself in my second 5K race on Saturday to see what I could accomplish. 

On Tuesday when I started to run, felt the start of shin splints in both my shins.  The pain wasn’t bad, but it was there.  I kept running and after the first mile or so, the pain went a way.  Later, I read up on the causes of shin splints, and I believe I was developing them because I had added several sprints after my normal runs to increase my speed.  The week before most of the path  I ran on was covered in snow and ice, and running on such an imbalanced course may have increased the pressure my shins were taking. 

I asked on Facebook what to do for shin splints, and I received a lot of good advice: from evaluating my shoes, to stretching,  to using ice and heat, to looking into ChiRunning, to stop running and rest my shins.  I looked up some specific stretches for the shins and calves, and started doing those immediately. 

On Wednesday and Thursday, the pain came and went.   Normally, I would have just stopped running for the week, but I had been looking forward to this race, and  I really wanted to run in it.  However, I knew it was not worth getting a serious injury, or having to sit out for months, just for one race.  I made the decision reluctantly on Thursday night, that if I had any more pain in my shins before the race, I was not going to run in it.  I started using heat and ice on my shins. 

I woke up on Friday and they felt great.  If I touched my shin bone, there was a tiny bit of discomfort, but it wasn’t painful.  I did not run on Friday, but Friday night I did some stretches and the heat and ice again before I went to bed.  Saturday morning I woke up, and there was no pain- not even when I touched my shin bones.  I was so excited, and was ready for the race!

The weather in Denver on Saturday for the Denver Veteran’s Day 5K Race, was beautiful.  It was sunny and in the high 30’s.  The race started at 8AM, and it was a perfect morning for running.  My dad was excited to come with me again, and he is now the “official” race photographer!

  DVD1c

Right after I had warmed up- about 15 minutes until race time!

I discovered that I was in the age category for 35 and older, but I had no idea how many people were in my age group. The top three winners in each age group, both male and female would be awarded a medal.   Most of the runners looked young- the race was on a college campus, so the vast majority of runners were college aged.  I lined up in the 8-10 mile group, or the second group to start:

DVDc3

DVD2c

You can see my “secret weapon” I mentioned in my Ready to Run blog post in these two pictures P.S- the black ankle bracelets everyone is wearing is the timer chip

Since I started in the second wave, we had to stand around for about a minute waiting.  I was trying to visualize running the course, but it is really hard to stay calm, when you just want to start running!  They told us the course was two laps around, and it was time to go!

DVD4c

This race was so uncrowded, I was able to run right by my dad when I started.  That was nice.  There was also a barefoot running club that had several runners running in their bare feet, as you can see in the picture above.  My dad got quite a kick out of that- he didn’t think anyone should be running on a public street in their bare feet! (that is a hint to my “secret weapon” too, if you haven’t guessed, or noticed yet. 🙂  )

As I started running, I realized I started out too fast. My pacing was off.  I was mad that I had let the excitement distract me.  I also felt hot immediately.  I had been debating taking my jacket off before the race, but it was cold.  The first few minutes I was already hot, but I didn’t want to take the time to mess up my pacing anymore by taking the jacket off.  I decided to run with it and then dump it at the start of the second lap.  

I tried to make the adjustment to get my pacing back on track.   A lot of people passed me, but I wasn’t paying too much attention to them.  I was focusing on getting my stride and breathing back to where I know it needed to be.  I was very happy though, I had not felt any pain in my shins.

After about half a mile, I felt like I was back on my pacing, and started to relax and just enjoy the run.  I noticed one female runner who had passed me at the beginning, looked about my age and she was about 50 yards ahead of me.  The course was great- there was lots of room to run, and there was no one around you.  It was very easy to concentrate and focus on running.  The only issue I was having was I was hot.  I had unzipped the jacket and that helped some, but I couldn’t wait until I could shed it.

I noticed a lot of younger guys were passing me, but that was okay.  I passed a few people too, but I wasn’t paying too much attention to their ages.  The only person I kept my sights on was the  female runner that was still ahead of me.

As I approached the end of the first lap, I started trying to take my jacket off, and it got stuck!  Then it wouldn’t go over my gloves! I was so frustrated, but was trying not to let it break my concentration.  I passed the start line, saw my dad, and finally got the jacket off!  I was very happy to throw it in the grass.  But then my earphones got twisted up and were dangling off of me.  I had to take my gloves off to fix the earphones, and then put the gloves back on.

By the time these issues were fixed, I felt like I had lost some time.  Having been around the course once already, I started making a mental plan on when I could make some time up, or at least try not to slow down.  A female barefoot runner passed me, and that seemed to give me a shot of motivation.  I didn’t want anyone else to pass me.  Around 2.5 miles, I started to speed up slightly, trying to making up some of the time I felt I had lost. 

I focused on my breathing, and stride.  I was tired, but I told myself I was almost done, and this would show me what I could do. I started running faster.  We were coming down the last 300 yards or so, and I was right about to pass the female runner that had been ahead of me the entire run. I thought for a second if my shins could handle it, but I had been training sprinting 400 yards.  I decided to go for it!!

As soon as I started sprinting she did too. I told myself I didn’t work that hard on my sprinting for nothing.  This was the moment I could give it my all- my absolute best now, and see what would happen.  This is a picture of that moment:

Picture 039c

I passed her with about 100 yards left to go (she’s wearing the cap), and I crossed the finish line!  I heard the announcer say my number and name, and she added, “What a finish!”

I was elated and thrilled!  Despite all the issues I dealt with during this race, I was able to work them out, and had a strong finish.  I also knew without checking the clock or time, that it was the fastest I have ever ran!

My dad gave me a hug, and I told him I had to keep moving for a few minutes.  He walked with me, and told me had timed me for the first lap and he thought I was about 14 minutes.  He said if I had done that for my second lap, I’d be right around the 28 minute mark.  My goal for this race for time was under 30 minutes.  I had only hit this once before- the Tuesday before the race- I had run the distance in 29:53.

DVD7

Moments after I had finished the race

I ate some food and talked to my dad while we waited the results.  He was happy to tell me that the first few people that had crossed the finish line were runners that were wearing shoes!  We walked around looking at the vendor’s swag, and I got some cool whistles for Ryan and Cole.  I was going to go put my jacket in the car, when I saw they had the results posted.  I had to wait about five minutes before I could work my way in to the table to check.  It took me a few minutes to find my name, and when I did, I checked, double checked, and triple checked.  I thought I was reading the results wrong. 

My dad was a few feet away from the table, and he was dying to know my time.  I had my results memorized by now, and I left the result table to tell him.  My results were:

Time: 27:07. My personal best!   I finished at 36:35 at the Race for the Cure.  I dropped 9:28 off my time in a month!

Lap 1 Time: 13:34

Lap 2 Time: 13:33

I was in 5th place for my age group out of 32 runners. 

I finished 64th overall out of 135 runners.

I finished 16 seconds behind the 4th place finisher, 1:08 behind the third place finisher, 6:02 behind the second finisher, and 6:32 behind the first place finisher. 

I missed a medal by only two people.  I wasn’t sad, but amazed that I finished that close to runners who medaled!  I never would have thought that this was possible three months ago, when I barely had enough energy to function!

I pushed myself, and I was on cloud nine with the results! 

I had no shin pain after the race, but on Saturday night, the tendons above my right ankle hurt.  On Sunday my shins felt great, but on Sunday night I woke up in the middle of the night and they were throbbing.  On Monday, they hurt again, like they did last week. 

I am taking at least a week off from running to let my shins, and tendons rest.  I have some good news about my dad, that I’ll share in another blog post soon. 

I’m eyeing another 5K in December- the ColderBolder at the CU campus in Boulder, or the Rudolph Ramble in City Park in Denver.

To be continued…

Categories
Activities Cancer Health Me Running

Ready to Run!

Last month I ran in my first ever running race, The Denver Koman Race for the Cure, supporting breast cancer.  At the end of that post, I mentioned my running journey was going to be continued.  

On Saturday, I will run in my second race.  It is the Denver’s Veteran’s 5K race, before the Veteran’s Day Parade in downtown Denver.   One big difference in this race from the Race for the Cure, is this race will be timed.  I will have an official finishing time and ranking at the end of the race.  I’m curious to see where I end up for my age group.

I have been running three to four times a week, and doing some yoga stretches and breathing on the days I don’t run.  I have been reading up on some suggestions on how to improve speed, and after a few trial and errors, I think I found a method that works for me.  Part of what I have included in my training, is I have been trying to run up more hills once a week to strengthen my legs.  I have also been devoting one run to half the distance of a 5K (1.6 miles) but running at a faster pace.  After another run, I will sprint about 400 yards, and then walk 400 yards a few times.

This seems to be working.  Before the Race for the Cure, my time averaged around 38 minutes.  Last week I had my best 5K run time ever- exactly 30 minutes.  I’m pretty happy in less than a month, I’ve been able to drop eight minutes off my time.  On Friday I went on a run, and more than half the path was icy and snow packed.  I adjusted my running to run on the snow, and I ran 3.4 miles in 31 minutes. Running in the snow was a good work-out for my legs as well.  I’ll admit it though- I have a bit of a competitive streak in me.  Running seems to bring that out, in that I want to keep getting faster.  My goal for the race on Saturday is to finish under 30 minutes.

Part of what I enjoy about running are the challenges.  Obviously there is the physical aspect, but I also like the mental challenge.  I have learned (and am still learning) how to really zero in on what my body is doing, and it forces me to stay focused. I have never been a great breather- I am finding in order to do so, I really have to concentrate on it. For me, that is the key to a good run-proper breathing. 

The elements are another challenge.  The weather has been cold, and it is totally different running in 20 degree weather than 40 degree weather.  I went on a run today dressed warmly, but ten minutes into it, I was way too hot.  I didn’t want to stop, so I shed some layers, tying them around my waist while running and kept on. I don’t want to be shedding layers during the race and be carrying extra clothing, so every time something like this happens, I learn something from it and learn how to make the adjustment. 

I also have a “secret weapon” for this race, which I didn’t have in the last race.  I’m not quite ready to reveal it yet, but I think part of me getting faster can be attributed to these!  For the rest this week, I am going to do another 5K run on Tuesday, followed by some sprinting, a 1.6 mile run on Thursday, and I should be rested and ready for Saturday.  Like last month, I’m excited and so happy that I’m healthy enough to do this! 

The race last month was a good way to get back into an exercise program while taking it at a comfortable pace.  I’m going to push myself more in this race and see how far I can go- I’m ready to run!

If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now.  Don’t spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it.  ~ Priscilla Welch