I usually try not to complain or whine on my blog too much, but I just have to, tonight. It has been the worse week for me- it has gone from bad to worse, what seems like every hour. Just when I think nothing else bad can happen- it does. Here is a recap:
Monday: Joe has to go out of town for the entire week. I used to not mind it so much, but whenever he goes out of town, one of the boys ALWAYS ends up sick. It is hard enough to “single” parent, without having a sick child on top of it. Sure enough, Sunday night, a lymph node is really swollen on Cole, and I just get a bad feeling. By Monday afternoon, his nose is running non-stop and he has a fever. I can’t tell for sure if he is really has a cold, or if the symptoms are due to teething. Either way, he is fussy and uncomfortable.
It had snowed as well. Not a lot, but enough for me to have to go out in 10 degree weather to shovel our sidewalks, and tenant’s porch. Oh yeah, we live on a corner lot, so this is not a fast project. I am freezing by the time I get back in, and Cole had awoken from his nap- an hour early, and was screaming!
Meanwhile, I get an e-mail from my boss, telling me my project isn’t due in two weeks, but is due in two days! Evidently the message didn’t conveyed to her correctly. The client has to have their budget reports to submit to the state by Wednesday. I figured it would be hard, but I could get it done in the next two nights, after the boys were asleep. I start working like crazy , but Cole has other ideas for me. He was waking up every 20 minutes or so, groaning, and whining. I would work for ten minutes, and then go to Cole for half an hour, to get him back to sleep.
By midnight, I had completed the bulk of the work, and the very, very, very, time consuming part of the budget. Not to mention the draft I had, the figures had been scanned in, and were not formatting right. So on top of doing the work, I had to recreate everything into Excel, and then export it back into the Word document. I figured I was at a good stopping point, and could finish the rest Tuesday night. Then, out of the blue, I get a pop-up message, asking me if I want to save my document as a read-only copy. Of course, I said no. Then the screen flutters, and kicks me out of Word. Weird, I think. I go back into Word, open my document and notice ALL of the work I had just done, was not there. I run a search-it only brings up my copy of the document I had the day before. All of my work- 3 hours is GONE.
I just started crying, right then and there. I had been saving the document every 10 minutes, but only to the work server, I was working off of. I have NEVER had anything like this happen before, and it just sucks. The only good news was, I figured I would be able to re-do the work fairly quickly, since I was familiar with the budget at this point, and knew where to get my numbers. At 2:30am, I had re-created all the work. Cole had managed to sleep during this time, so things were looking up.
At 4am, Cole woke up, stuffy and crying. He never did go back to sleep- only tossed and turned, and dozed with me. Of course, the second I wasn’t holding him right, or the second he wasn’t comfortable, he started screaming. I got one hour of sleep.
Tuesday: I take Ryan to preschool, but we are late; I had sent my boss an e-mail telling her what was happening, and she called me the moment we were walking out the door to discuss the project. After dropping Ryan off, 15 minutes late, Cole and I run errands, that we had to do. He is in a pretty good mood, but I realize he is more than likely coming down with a cold, and he is teething on top of that.
After we pick up Ryan from school, I am just praying they will both take long naps, so I could keep working on my project. Both boys usually take 2 hour naps. Not today- Ryan didn’t take one at all, and after an hour, Cole woke up, with his eyes “glued” shut by gunk that was coming out of them. I thought he might have pink-eye, but after soaking his eyes with warm washcloths, they cleared up. But his nose was still runny, and he had a fever. He was sick for sure.
Surprisingly, Cole slept well that night, and I was able to finish my project by midnight, with no more computer problems. I figured I could still get about 6 hours of sleep, and headed to bed. Cole woke up at 2, and it was a repeat of the previous night. By the time my alarm went off, to get up for work, I had gotten at best, 2 hours of sleep, and I knew it was going to be an intense day.
Wednesday: As I was leaving the boys at their grandparents, Cole realized I was leaving, and started crying. He stuck out his hands, and kept saying, “Mama, Mama,”over and over. It absolutely tugged at my heart. Neither him or Ryan have ever done that before. He needed me, and I was leaving. I felt so bad and guilty. That was all I could think about as I went to work.
After working until 2pm (I have been up for 12 hours now), with no break, we get the budget e-mailed to the client, in time for their meeting. I can’t go into a lot of details, but there were some problems with the previous years’ figures, which affected this year’s numbers, so nothing was computing correctly. Turns out, we had to go back and update the previous two years of budgets, in order to get the 2008 budget right. Of course my boss, the accountant, was doing most of the computing, and I just felt like I failed miserably- that I didn’t even think to look at the previous years’ numbers. I was trying to do the deepest thinking, I think I have ever done, on two hours of sleep, and I all I could think about was Cole crying for me. It was miserable, and I had a splitting headache. My boss said that had been a “brutal” budget.
After I e-mailed the budget to the client, my boss said she was taking me out to lunch. She told me I had done a great job, and she was very appreciative. I was happy to hear that (especially since I was functioning on 2 hours of sleep). When we got back, the client hadn’t called, so we figured no news was good news. Half an hour later, they call and say one of the financial charts, didn’t come through- the figures were distorted, and they can’t read them. That was the one chart that I hadn’t had time to recreate in Excel. So guess what I did for rest of the afternoon? Re-working their charts AGAIN. I was so tired of reading numbers, I was wiped out. But I got it done for them before the end of the day.
My mother-in-law had a nice dinner ready when I got to their house. Cole was in a great mood, but clearly had a cold. As we were eating dinner, Ryan started crying and said his tummy hurt. By bedtime, he was lethargic, and kept saying his tummy hurt.
Meanwhile, I had given Cole a bath- he usually loves his baths, but he started screaming, while he was in the tub, and I mean screaming. This was at 7pm, and he didn’t stop screaming for 3 hours. I was completely exhausted and drained. Nothing, but nothing, would console him. All I could think of, was how much I wanted to go to bed, but couldn’t. I knew if Joe was home, he’d be able to help Cole. I couldn’t do anything for him. He was congested, and had a fever. Even after I had given him some Childrens’ Motrin, it wasn’t helping. I had never seen Coley like that. I think I was so tired, I didn’t even have any energy to react. I stood over his crib, just stroking his back, and telling him it would be OK.
I never thought I would have the stamina to stand over a crib for 3 hours, listening to the worse screaming I have ever heard, having been awake for 20 hours, but I did. Whenever I think I have reached the breaking point, I find out (not by choice) that I bend even farther than I thought. Before becoming a mother, there was no way, I could have pulled off a day like I had just done, and dealt with two sick, small children, by myself at night, with hardly any sleep. I don’t know if that is something women are “programed” for, and it kicks in, when we need it to, or what.
I realized as I was tip-toeing out of Cole’s room, that my sister was arriving into town tomorrow, and I still needed to do some cleaning. I actually did some laundry and cleaned the bathroom. I can let the living room boy’s playroom slide, but I wanted to at least have a clean bathroom for her. Then I realized it was trash day tomorrow, and I lugged out the trash and the recycling. I cleaned up the kitchen, and fall into bed at midnight.
Thursday: Cole wakes up 4am, and once again is restless. We toss and turn. He wants a drink of water, and he pulls my cup away from me, and water gets spilled all over the bed. I get up, with him crying again, and put towels on the sheets. I finally get him to sleep at 5:30. I drift off too, for 45 minutes, before my alarm goes off, for work. I debate on what to do with the boys. I had a meeting today, and some other things going on, where I had to be there. Cole wakes up the second he hears the alarm, and wants breakfast. He doesn’t seem quite as bad, and his nose isn’t running. Ryan wakes up, and says he feels tired, but doesn’t say he feels bad, so I decide to go to work, and take the boys to J, our wonderful childcare provider.
At 9am, J, calls me and says Ryan has a temperature of 101. She asks if she can give him some Motrin, but says he is just resting on the couch, and Cole is running around playing. She doesn’t think I need to leave work. I tell her Ryan can have some Motrin, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.
I run into another accounting problem with one of our clients that I just didn’t have the brain power to deal with. I will have to work on that this weekend. As I was leaving my boss asks if I can finalize the budget for the client’s board meeting next week. Again, they have to have it, but it should be very easy to plug the new charts and figures that we did yesterday back into their master copy. Turns out yesterday, they only needed a few pages for the state, not the entire thing. So of course, I am in this knee deep now, and pretty much have to say yes. More work (not that I’m complaining, but it just seems so daunting right now.)
As I am leaving work, my face feels flushed, and my stomach is hurting. I get the kids and Ryan is in a good mood, and says he feels good, but I am sure it was only because he had the Motrin in his system. Cole is happy, but tired. As I drive home, I start to cry. I know there is no way that I will be able to go get my sister tonight (we were going to go pick her up at the airport at midnight, and she was going to stay with us for a few days. I haven’t really been able to visit with her in a year and a half!)
Even I felt OK, there was no way, I was going to drag Ryan and Cole out of their beds, where I could only hope they would be sleeping from. Furthermore, what would my sister do when she was here? Watch us blow our noses? Listen to poor little Coley, cry because he is so congested? Watch Ryan lie on the couch? I wouldn’t want to expose her to anything either. If the boys have bad nights, I would feel bad for her too, because there would be no sleeping for her- especially if Cole has another screaming night. It is just such a bummer. It never seems like we can see each other, even when she is in the state visiting. I miss her, and wanted so much for her to be able to see the boys as well. If I don’t get sick, I might end up seeing her over the weekend, but who knows if she’ll get to see the boys? Ryan was so excited to see his aunt too. He was sad we weren’t going to go out on our midnight adventure to the airport. He asked me so sweetly if when he feels better, in a few days, could we go get Auntie Vanessa then, from the airport?
So there is my miserable week. I don’t even want to get out of bed tomorrow. It has taken me a long time to write this, because now Ryan isn’t sleeping. He isn’t screaming, but he is waking up every 20 minutes, just whining. He doesn’t have a fever, but obviously doesn’t feel well. I am going to try to take Cole to the Dr. tomorrow. I think he may have a sinus infection. Meanwhile, I will be counting the minutes until Joe comes home, and I can have some relief, or at least a nap.
