Category: Parenting

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Activities Cole Family & Friends Mothering Parenting Ryan

Good Ol’ Summertime

We are having a lot of fun around here this summer. The boys have taken to swimming, well-like fish to water.  Especially Cole.  It doesn’t matter what kind of water it is- he loves it.  From water from the hose, to the kiddie pool, to the sprinkler, to the water at the swimming pool- he is thrilled around water.

We have been trying to go swimming at least once a week.  We are pretty lucky that our town has two great kiddie pools, that we can alternate between them.  Today we took the boys to the kiddie pool in town that has a slide.  It isn’t a huge slide, but it is adequate for kids of all sizes.

I say that because Ryan wouldn’t go on it.  He didn’t want to at all. But Cole- we couldn’t keep him off of it.  Never mind that he was the only two year old going down the slide.  Never mind that all the other kids going down the slide were at least twice his age.  He was just in his own little world, and he was going down that slide as much as he wanted.

He would climb up the rock stairs, and wait his turn-just like all the other kids.  Then when it was his turn, he’d sit on the slide, and look at the water running down it.  Oblivious to the fact, that he was holding up the line. He just had a grin on his face a mile wide.  He had waited in line, and he was going to make the most of it!   He examined the stream of water coming out of a sprinkler to keep the slide wet, and had to touch it and play with the water.  No amount of coaxing from his daddy or mommy would make him hurry up.  This was his time to decide when he was ready to slide. 

And when he decided it was time to go, he let go, and swish…down the slide he went, with even a bigger smile into his daddy’s arms.  If he got water in his eyes, or in his nose, it didn’t bother him.  He would laugh, and quickly squirm out of daddy’s arms to go get in line again, and do what he just did, all over again.

Ryan was just happy to be bouncing around in the water and playing. At one point he came up to me, gave me a hug and said, “I’m having so much fun in this pool Mom.”   Another time, I was holding him in the deeper water, and he told me to take him back to shallow water, because he had a great idea.  Once we were in the shallow water, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him.  So we did a little waltz in the water. 

I had so much fun playing and watching my boys today.  They are so sweet and innocent, and watching them have fun, just made me appreciate again how fortunate we are to have them.  It doesn’t get much better than dancing in water with your four and a half-year old, or seeing pure joy and excitement in your two year-old’s face, as he experiences a water slide for the first time. 

When I was a kid, my mom used to take us swimming, but she never went swimming herself.  She said she had just as much fun, sitting on a beach blanket watching us.  I never understood that growing up- but today I did. I understand what she meant all those years ago.  As long as your kids are having fun, and enjoying themselves then you are too, and it is the most fun you will ever have.    

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Activities Cole Family & Friends Holidays Parenting Ryan

Fourth of July Festivities

We had a busy but fun Fourth of July! 

We went to a neighboring town for a parade, face painting, and music in the morning.  Ryan got his face painted with stars, and Cole wanted his arm painted instead.  There was an added bonus that there is a caboose in the town, so of course we had to walk over to see it.  Here are a few pictures of the caboose and me with the boys- you can see Ryan and Cole’s face and arm painted, and you can click on the pictures to see the images larger:

        

 It was getting hotter and hotter by the minute, and this little town didn’t have a lot of shade.  So we decided to pack it up, and head back home.  We stopped off for lunch at the boys’ favorite noodle bowl place.  The restaurant was almost empty, so we had the place to ourselves.  I guess not too many people go out to lunch on the Fourth of July.  🙂

 

 When we got home, it was perfect weather to break out a new sprinkler ring I had gotten for the boys.  It was in the high 90’s, and they had a blast running through it.  Joe turned on the hose too, and they got to run back and forth between the two.  They did this for an hour, and just loved it:

         

 After all that fun in the sun, we all decided to take a nap.  We turned on our evaporative cooler, and it was heaven- hot outside, but cool and quiet in the house.  The boys were really conked out and slept for a few hours.  Meanwhile Joe went to the store to get some salad fixings, and then I made a salad to take over to Joe’s parents house for dinner.  Joe’s two sisters were up visiting for a few days.

After dinner we had a nice time visiting, and got a special treat- Grandma and Aunt K. had made homemade vanilla ice cream in Grandma’s hand cranked ice cream maker.  Another aunt, (also an aunt K.), made two kinds of hot fudge sauce, and Ryan and Cole helped her.  They had a lot of fun “helping,” and the ice cream turned out great. 

The we all hung out, until it was time to go the fireworks show.  The boys did really well, and were so excited, they didn’t act tired at all.  I am sure the naps helped.   We got to see a really neat firework show, and there was no issue with the “boom factor” for Ryan.

Towards the end of the show, Cole started to get tired and kept saying, “home.”  It was 10 p.m. by then, and way past his bedtime.  However, the boys were so dirty we had to give them a quick shower when we got home.  We got them in their beds as soon as we could, and they literally fell asleep before their heads hit the pillow. 

It was fun having such a relaxing and laid back day.  I am glad the boys are getting older where they can stay up later (with a nap) and can start to enjoy the special occasions.  I love the Fourth of July, and I think the boys are starting to develop a liking for it too.  All day today, Ryan and Cole kept saying, “Pop!”- imitating the fireworks. 

It was a perfect holiday- fun, family, food, and fireworks!

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Mothering Parenting

Oh, You Have All Boys

 

I have heard the above phrase so many times, since having my second son, two years ago.  It seems like whenever I meet anyone, naturally, one of the questions that comes up, is if we have kids, (yes), and then, their ages (4.5 & 2 years), and then what gender they are (both boys).  Then comes the, “Oh, you have all boys.”

Sometimes it is said with a hint of surprise on the “Oh,” as if I am fibbing and I couldn’t possibly have two boys.  But more often than not, the “Oh,” is usually said in a low tone, with a pause before continuing on.  I can’t really tell if this is meant as sympathy, or disappointment, or a combination of both.  I’m not sure why people who question me on this in the first place, can’t just say something like, “congratulations,” or “how nice,” and have to make an unenthusiastic statement about having all boys as my children.

Not to compare, but I have yet to hear anyone tell a mother of all girls, “Oh, you have all girls,” in the sympathy/disappointment tone, reserved for the mothers of all boys. (I’m not saying this never happens, just that I haven’t heard it happen).   When I have heard mothers say they have all girls, or even one boy and one girl, the response is excitement and happiness.  Somewhere along they way, people have decided that having all boys is a gloomy and subdued situation to be in. 

As the boys get older, it seems like more and more people point out to me, that I have two boys.  Complete strangers feel OK with coming up and telling me, “Oh, you have all boys,”  in that tone- uh, yes I do, thanks for the newsflash.   

I understand that most people probably would like the experience of having both boys and girls as children, but when this isn’t the case, why does having all boys become a negative thing? 

Of course I am partial, but I adore my two boys.  They are brothers, and will always have each other in life, no matter what.  My brother wished his entire life that he had a brother.  I think he still does, and he is almost 40.  He instead, grew up with three sisters.  I remember people telling my mom that it was too bad one of us girls wasn’t a boy, so my brother would have another boy to play with. 

So I guess two or more boys aren’t always thought of as negative, but only if there are girls in the mix, and as long as there isn’t only one boy in a family with all sisters.  It just strikes me as a very odd trait in our society that people make comments like this, when there is no control over it.  Having a baby isn’t like ordering a pizza.  You don’t pick up the phone and call God, or the Stork, or the Baby Fairy and say, “Hi there, I’d like to order a large-no make that a medium sized baby- I get three features?  Okay, then make it a girl, with green eyes, and brown curly hair.”

I don’t understand why people comment on the gender of your children, and in my case, it is far more negative comments than positive ones.  Having two boys is a blessing.  Having any child is.  We are so fortunate that we have two healthy, happy, smart, funny, and loving children that happen to be boys. 

Usually the comments don’t bother me, but I wonder in this day and age, when we can embrace so many differences, people still feel a need to make underhanded comments about the gender of children?  Being a mother of two boys or all boys is a challenge.  But so is being a mother to all girls, or the mother to boys and girls.  It is just a different set of challenges. 

Being a parent is hard- but it can be even harder when you receive negative innuendos about your children’s gender.  Maybe just hearing these over and over again, has worn me down.  Maybe I should have a tougher skin.  So I am curious if other parents have also experienced negative comments about their chidren’s gender?

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Activities Cole Family & Friends Mothering Parenting Ryan

Weekends Before & After Kids Part II

(Part I, in case you missed it.)

Having kids definitely changes your weekends.  During the last four years, I can probably count on one hand the relaxing entire weekends we have had.  This past weekend was one of those. 

On Saturday, Ryan started swimming lessons.  The pool is within walking distance, so him and I walked to the pool.  He was so ready and eager to have his lessons again, and he almost put his head underwater.  Last year, after two sessions, he was not ready to put his head underwater.  What a difference a year makes.

Joe was watching Cole, and was including him on some projects he was trying to get done around the house.  Cole loves spending time with Dad, so he was having a blast, getting Dad’s one-on-one attention.

Remember the language research study Ryan is participating in? The researchers scheduled an hour observation session for Ryan, where they could asses and observe his language skills and vocabulary.  I decided to take Ryan out to lunch before hand.

We had such a fun time.  We went to a nice pizza place, and we were seated in a booth for two.  Ryan came and sat next to me, and held my arm.  We colored, talked, and Ryan got two chocolate milks- a treat for sure.  We had a great time at lunch, just sitting, coloring and talking.  I get little glimpses into Ryan’s head during rare times like this, and it is so neat.

We had a few minutes after lunch, before we had to go to the research office, and there was a toy store next door.  Ryan played with the trains, and didn’t even argue or stall when I told him it was time to go.

The research appointment proved very interesting.  I was in the room, but was asked to not cue Ryan.  So I sat and observed as the speech therapist researcher asked Ryan hundreds of questions.  She used pictures, used riddles, and just asked him other questions verbally.  I realized that Ryan knows a lot more words, ideas, and concepts than I gave him credit for.  Some of the material she was testing him on, she said was for six year olds, and he wasn’t missing any questions.  She said she had to go until he missed eight questions in a series.  He missed six and seven questions several times, but didn’t miss eight questions until we were there for an hour and a half. 

Since this is research strictly for the company’s purposes, we don’t get any official feedback, but I asked her when we were done, how Ryan’s speech in general was, and if there was anything we should be working on.  She gave me one area to work with him on, that she noticed, but other than that she said he was doing great. 

We went home, and the boys played outside, while Joe and I completed some tasks around the house.  (Some things like housework never change.) 

On Sunday, thanks to my boss, who gave me her tickets to the pro baseball team, “in the big city,” Joe and I got to go to the game, and we sat by third base, 24 rows up.  It was so much fun, and relaxing too.  Joe and I carried on some kid free conversation, for a few hours.  That hasn’t happened in quite some time.

My dad and step-mom were babysitting the boys, and after the game, we went and got some dinner.  It was almost like the BK days- we knew the boys were in good hands, and we could just relax, talk, and enjoy dinner. 

About half-way through dinner, a table came in and sat next to us. It was two families, with five small kids between them.  I found myself watching the kids.  They were having fun, even though the parents were not talking with the other parents, but to their kids. Not unusual.  I thought about how these parents probably went out BK, and sat for hours and had intellectual discussions about the world.  Now they were talking about swim lessons and summer camp, in between trying to get their kids to drink their milk.

I saw myself in them, from the outside looking in.  At one point, one of the mothers looked at Joe and I, and smiled at us.  I am sure she was thinking we were a mid-age couple (I wish I could say young couple.  🙂 )who could sit leisurely at dinner and talk- because we didn’t have kids. 

I think it is normal for parents of children to remember their BK days, and yes, sometimes long for them.  Especially when you go through the day-to-day routines, and never seem to have time for yourself anymore. 

But once you are a parent, you can’t go back, and even though a few hours at a ballgame, or a dinner out by yourself is a nice break, you don’t want to go back permanently.  Having children takes so much time, and energy away from you, but it always returns it to you a thousand times over.

A weekend all to myself is no comparison to walking to swimming lessons and talking to with my son.  Being able to sleep in as late as I want, can’t compete with him smiling at me with a chocolate milk mustache.  A quiet dinner out and a movie, doesn’t hold water to my toddler shrieking with excitement, when he sees us come home from being out, “Mama-Mommy, Daddy!”  and we are engulfed with wet, sloppy, loving kisses. 

Having children means giving up your weekends, oh-for at least eighteen years, (that isn’t even counting if you are a soccer parent-another post entirely!)  But as you give take that time away from yourself, and give it to your children-to your family- something else gets created in the process. 

There really isn’t a word to describe it, but you see it in your child’s eyes, when he waves to you from his swimming lesson.  You see it in their faces when they realize the day is Saturday, and they get to make waffles with Daddy.  You hear it in their laughs as they are playing in the park.  You feel it in their hearts, when they hug you, as they thank you for taking them out for ice cream, and one child tells you “This was the best weekend ever, Daddy and Mommy,” and the other one just smiles as wide as he can.   

You may not sleep or get to go out anymore on the weekends, but you have gained something far more important-that you never gained from weekends before kids- you have given your children your time, and in return you gained their adoration and love. 

I wouldn’t trade that for all the free weekends in the world, and I know most parents wouldn’t either, even if we are tired. 🙂

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Activities Family & Friends Household Mothering Parenting

Weekends- Before & After Kids Part I

  Before being blessed with two children (BK-Before Kids), I didn’t know how good we had it on the weekends.  If I woke up, let alone got out of bed before 9am, I thought I was missing my beauty sleep.  🙂  After getting dressed and ready to go in about 15 minutes (compared with usually an hour after kids) Joe and I would go out to breakfast at our favorite spot.

We didn’t care if the wait was an hour- we brought our newspaper with us, and could leisurely read the paper and drink coffee while we waited for our table.  After we had a nice breakfast, we would go home and do a few chores around the house. 

When you don’t have two small monkeys boys, cleaning and maintaining the house takes about thirty minutes a week.  When you have two small monkeys boys, it takes about 10 hours a week.  (Not exaggerating on this either.  On Friday it took me from 10 am to 8pm to clean the house- and that was leaving a bathroom undone.  But that is another post.)

Back to our weekends before kids.  Usually on Saturday afternoons, I would visit friends, go shopping, garden, exercise, or just hang out and read a book.  Sometimes I would cook dinner, and sometimes we would go out.  (If you are keeping track- NO cooking so far.) If we went out, we weren’t there at 5pm, in order to beat the dinner crowds- we didn’t need to time a meal down to the last millisecond, before one, or both kids had a major public meltdown, and the restaurant’s customers were treated to a baby’s shrieking cries, or a toddler screaming at the top of his lungs, “I want to go NOW!”

No, we had all the time in the world.  If the restaurant wait interfered with our plans to go catch a movie afterwards, now that was cause for concern.   Otherwise we were fine.  Oh, and the movies.  We used to love going to the movies.  We didn’t have to choose between the 4pm showing that would end before our boys’ bedtime, and oh- that is your only movie time choice as a parent.  If you go to the early evening movie after having kids, you usually aren’t home until 10pm, and you can hear the wailing coming from the house, as you turn your car down the street.

When you arrive home, you realize World War III has started in your living room.  Oops- that is just the two boys that absolutely will not go to bed for the babysitter, and the only way the sitter could calm them down was to let them drag out every toy they have- even the 1,000 piece Lego’s pack.  Which, you have just stepped on, and are trying not to let out a few choice words in front of the sitter, and the two very tired, sleep deprived monkeys boys. 

At this point the boys monkeys (yes, they have turned into monkeys now) are climbing on you, crying, and wailing that only mommy can put them to bed.  Two hours later, past midnight, you finally have achived the task- getting overtired children to bed.  You curse the d**n movie and wonder why in the world you just put yourself through that.  No movie is worth the war battle you just went through- all to get a night out.

On Sunday mornings BK,  Joe and I would sleep in again (really, I used to sleep?!), and then hang out some more, go grocery shopping (yes, we usually grocery shopped together), read the paper, and had a lazy Sunday, or hung out with family.  I liked cooking on Sunday’s, so I would make a nice dinner.  We had no time constraints, or demands on our time from the children.  Our time was completely ours, and as I write this, I can barely remember it.  Was it really only four years ago?  It seems like a lifetime ago. 

This is going to end up a pretty long post, so I am breaking it into parts.  Check back later in the week for Weekends Before & After Kids Part II.