Category: Parenting

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Cole Family & Friends Me Mothering Parenting Ryan

A New Direction for A Mama’s Blog

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For most bloggers, deciding how much to share of your life is a question that is always in the back of our minds. For me personally, I don’t mind sharing details about me, but I have been thinking a lot lately about sharing details about my boys- Ryan and Cole. 

When I started A Mama’s Blog, I wanted a place I could record events that happened with my children, so I would always remember them.  As my children grow older, I realize that my blog can’t really serve that purpose anymore.

As Ryan and Cole grow, I have decided that I don’t want to write about those details anymore.  While these details might be interesting and helpful to others, I also feel very strongly, since Ryan and Cole are not babies anymore, somehow their experiences are not mine to share.   

I started my blog for love I have for my boys, and I never want to violate that.  As my children grow, their experiences are personal.  They may or may not care one day that I wrote about a certain event that I found cute, or funny, or that I thought was worth sharing.  However, they might.  They may be embarrassed, or fail to understand why I had to share on my blog their experiences- whether that would be something that happened on the first day of kindergarten, or a sweet moment we had. 

Right now Ryan and Cole are at an age, where they don’t understand blogging.  Maybe one day, when they understand it, they can give me permission to share excerpts from their life, and I will feel fine on sharing those with my readers.  Their trust is the most important thing, and I never want them to look back and realize things they may have told me in their minds as a confidence, I turned around and blogged about.

I plan to still share updates, milestones, and stories in general about my boys, but in a way that respects their privacy. 

This will change the focus of A Mama’s Blog.  I have always been passionate about information on C-sections and maternal health. I plan to keep writing on those subjects.   I also hope to start writing about women’s issues more.

I have not formally announced it, but I think the timing is right to let my readers know that my husband (Joe) and I are in the process of getting divorced.  This has been in progress for several months now.  The divorce should be final by the end of the summer.

I won’t be able to share personal details of the divorce or specifics, but I will share my perspective, feelings, and experience with it in time. 

I am excited the new direction A Mama’s Blog will be taking and I value each and every one of my readers.  I know many of you have been with me from the beginning, and have read my blog faithfully for almost two-and-a-half years now.  I will do my best to keep you as a reader, and thank you all for your loyalty and support.

Categories
Family & Friends Holidays Mothering Parenting

Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned from my Mom

I grew up in a very strict religion.  One of the beliefs were, we didn’t celebrate holidays.  It always made me sad I couldn’t make a card for my mom on Mother’s Day. I made her cards on other days, but on Mother’s Day, it still felt like I should be giving my mom a card.

Fast forward to today- twenty five years later, and we are not in that religion anymore.  And as life would have it, I am not a card person.  I hate trying to find that ‘perfect’ card.  I either find nothing I like, or I find too many and then I can’t make up my mind.  I usually end up sending e-cards, because at least I can do that on the computer, when I don’t have two active little boys underfoot, trying to take all the cards out of the rack, while I search for that ‘one.’ 

That does not mean that I don’t appreciate what my mom has done for me, over the course of my 30+ years.  My mom will not have a ‘perfect’ card in a ‘perfect’ pink envelope this year, but I know she reads my blog.  So Mom- like it or not, whether you knew it or not, I did manage to learn a lot from you. I hope you enjoy this list Mom, it is for you.

  • If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all
  • Life isn’t fair
  • Home cooked meals can solve most any problems- at least while you are eating
  • If you keep trying something long enough, you will eventually learn to like it (for me it was the spaghetti you always made me eat)
  • Crying over someone else’s problems is a sure way to stop crying about yours
  • It is okay to order food the way you want it in a restaurant
  • Kids don’t need a lot of sugar
  • Take your vitamins every day
  • If you are bored, there is always something that can be cleaned
  • If you are bored, there is always a book you can read
  • Later on in life, what will help you remember your childhood, is the pictures (thanks for always keeping such great ones for us!)
  • When you believe in yourself, there are no limits to what you can accomplish
  • There are some people in your life who will always be there for you
  • Some things are worth spending money on
  • Life doesn’t always turn out as you hoped, but you never give up
  • Friends can help you get through anything
  • If you can’t go on another day, then don’t- just get through the next hour, and then the next hour after that
  • No matter how hard and bad life may be, there is always something or someone worth hanging on for
  • No one is perfect
  • If you aren’t true to yourself, you will never have real happiness
  • Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth
  • You can find every solution to life in a movie- or at least watch other people going through the same thing you are
  • Seeking help for your problems may be painful, but not seeking help is more painful to you, and everyone else who loves you
  • No matter how old I get, when I am sick, I just want my mommy
  • If you aren’t happy, do something today to change it. 
  • Your children will know if you are truly happy, or faking it
  • Sleep is good
  • Naps are even better
  • You will never love anyone like you love your children
  • You won’t understand this until you have children
  • You will know how much your own mother loves you, when you have your own children

It took me thirty one years to learn these last three.  Now they hold for me, the key to the present and the future.  

Thank you for all the life lessons, Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day.  I love you.

Categories
Activities Mothering Parenting

The Perfect Mom

Lately I have started to notice The Perfect Mom everywhere I go.  I think it is because of a book I have been reading, Life Swap, by Jane Green.  The story asks is the grass really greener on the other side, and one of the characters in the book, Amber, is The Perfect Mom. 

The town Amber lives in, Highfield Connecticut, is so competitive among the mothers- they have to have the right clothes, the right shoes, the right running-errands look, the right car, the right body, enroll their children in all the right schools and activities, the right husband, and of course make this look effortless.

Reading the book, I thought it was a little exaggerated- or was it?

I live in Northern Colorado, where thankfully, most of the mothers I know, are more concerned about making playdates for their kids, and talking to the moms there, then checking out which moms have the latest designer handbag.  But I work in Boulder, which is a lot like the town in the book.   I get out to lunch every so often and see the mom crowd at noon, with the latest baby gear, designer diaper bags, designer clothes, and they look perfect doing it.

Today I took the boys to the Children’s Museum in Denver, where for a minute I thought I was anywhere but a children’s museum– where there are children- you know- who are dirty. 

I saw more moms than not, in designer jeans, high heeled (like several inches) boots, beautiful jewelery, gorgeous sweaters, and scarves.  Their hair was perfect- their make-up was flawless, and they had the latest designer handbags. I watched them like they were from another planet, because to me they are. I find it fascinating. 

Don’t get me wrong- I like to dress up like that when I am going out to dinner, or to a movie, or to a party, or out with friends- but to take my two active boys out with dirty hands and runny noses- not so much.  I like to save my designer jeans and my ONE beautiful expensive sweater when it will not be used as a tissue by my two-and-a-half year old.

Yet I noticed something- The Perfect Mom’s children did not wipe their hands on their mother’s 7 for All Mankind Jeans.  They didn’t drool half eaten bananas on their calfskin leather boots.  Their two year olds, didn’t tug at their just-out-of -the salon haircuts.  The children certainly were not using their mothers cashmere sweaters as tissues.  I wondered what planet were these were children from?

Since Ryan and Cole love playing on the fire engine there, I get to sit and mom-watch.  As some of these perfect children belonging to The Perfect Moms from Planet Perfect started to melt down, it was back to Earth.  Even a mother in a $500 outfit for a day at the children’s museum gets that look of dread in her face when her child starts screaming and crying.  My group of mom friends just seem to go to our kids when they are crying and hug them, or pick them up.  That is why I don’t do Perfect Mom- it isn’t very practical.  It was interesting to see that I didn’t see very many Perfect Mom’s pick up or even touch their kids, while they were crying.

I am not judging- just stating an observation that I saw today.  One mom told her daughter, who was about four, and who was screaming so loudly I wanted ear-plugs, that she was going to leave if the daughter didn’t stop crying.  The daughter did not stop crying, and true to her word, the mom started to walk away- really- like out of the room.  The girl started screaming even louder and the mom didn’t come back.  She really had left.  This was upsetting to me- I can only imagine how this little girl felt.  I was ready to go comfort her, when Mom came back and the little girl was beside herself, whimpering and telling her mom she wouldn’t cry anymore. 

Everyone in the room was watching this, and it was upsetting.  I can’t judge someone by the type of clothes they wear, but I saw a few more incidents like this as well- not as extreme, but the women who were dressed perfectly, didn’t seem to pick up or touch their children- at least not when I saw them.  I am not saying that they don’t, but I just didn’t see it when I was watching today.  

As we were leaving the museum, a little boy ran right into me. His mom came over and apologized and told me she was sorry.  She immediately swooped down, and picked up her little boy and held him.  She had on jeans (probably from Old Navy) tennis shoes, and a fleece jacket.  I smiled and told her no problem- and I felt like I was back on planet Earth-for real. 

Most moms I know, myself included are not be perfect- we struggle.  If we can get dressed, get our kids dressed, and manage to get out of the house before lunch time, we are doing well.  I know the last thing on my mind some days is how I look.  One day I was out for six hours running errands with the kids and had a playdate.  At the end of the day, when I was getting undressed, I noticed my shirt was on inside out, with the label sticking out.  I wondered how many people had noticed that, or more than likely, no one had. 

Perfect moms look beautiful, poised, and put together at all times.  I admire someone who can do that, I really do.  But I would rather be able to hug my child and not risk, ruining my outfit if he happened to have dirt on his hands, or a runny nose.  If my kids can feel free to give me hugs whenever they want, then I know I am the perfect mom to them- that is all that matters- even if my shirt is on inside out.

Categories
Cancer Health Me Mothering Parenting

Results from Ultrasound

Despite us having a major blizzard in Colorado, my doctor, Dr. T., was at work and called me with the results of the ultrasound on my thyroid today.

She said the ultrasound confirmed there is a nodule on the left part of my thyroid, as she suspected.  The doctor at the hospital, who read the ultrasound, suggests that I have a biopsy on the nodule to determine if it is cancerous or not. 

Dr. T. said nine times out of ten, it is nothing- it is like a benign cyst.  She also said they would be looking for anything atypical that would suggest the startings of something cancerous.  Dr. T. is sending my file to an ear, nose, and throat doctor in town, and as soon as he gets my file I will get the biopsy scheduled- I am hoping it can be as soon as next week.  I didn’t think to ask how long after the biopsy they would have results, but I am sure it can’t be more than a few days. 

I didn’t want to hear any of this.  I was wishing Dr. T. was going to say it was nothing- I just had an odd shaped thyroid.  But, since that isn’t the case, I have to take the next step.  I know it is for my health and the odds are in my favor.  Yet, I am terrified in that little place in the back of my mind.  Someone has to be that one person who isn’t okay.  Of course I hope that isn’t me, but what if it is? 

I can’t even really go there mentally right now.  Friends and family tell me not to assume the worst.  But when you are a mother, (or a father) it is so hard. How do you look at your precious children, and not wonder if you will be healthy for them?  How am I going to explain this to a five year old and a two-and-a-half year old if it comes down to that?  

I have way more questions than answers now, and all I can do is keep taking the steps to lead me to the point where I will have the answers I need. I just hope and pray they are the answers I am hoping for- that I am one of the nine, instead of that one.

Categories
Household Parenting Shopping

Guest Post- Finding The Right Stroller

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I am pleased to have an expert at CSN Baby.com, Suzanne as a guest blogger today. 

Suzanne’s post is a guide for tips on selecting the right stroller for your baby and your lifestyle. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, trying to learn and research baby items.

When I bought my first stroller,  I thought any stroller with four wheels would do.  However, I didn’t consider that I did a lot of walking, and did not get a stroller that was very comfortable for Ryan, for long walks.  Needless to say, I could have made a better purchase- one that would have saved me a lot of hassle and would have made it more comfortable for Ryan.    I hope this guide will be informative and helpful if you are researching a stroller purchase.  

Finding the Right Stroller

Parents of babies and toddlers know that there are two major purchases:  cribs and strollers.  While cribs can be determined largely on style, color, quality, there are other important factors to consider when looking for a stroller.  We’re going to outline a few things that you should consider when shopping around. 

Your Lifestyle

A stroller should compliment the daily lifestyle of yourself and your baby.  Are you planning on driving around a lot with the baby?  Then you might want to purchase a foldable stroller or a travel system (which is a stroller that supports an infant car seat).  If you live an active lifestyle, then consider a jogging stroller.  These types of strollers are designed for parents who want to run with their baby, so they come with a sturdier frame and swivel wheel to ensure maximum maneuverability.

Size Matters

Of course your child will grow, but if you are planning on buying for a newborn, keep in mind that most strollers will not do, as infants have to travel lying flat on their back to ensure their safety.  You will need either a fully-reclining stroller, a travel system that can hold an infant car seat, or a pram.  Once your child grows to toddler size, most strollers should be able to work for them as they should be able to sit straight up.   

Your own space matters too!  The safety and comfort of your child should be paramount when it comes to this purchase, but the stroller should also be easy and convenient for you to use and store.  If you might need to bring it on a train or subway or have limited space to store it, then you should be looking at collapsible lightweight strollers.  Foldable strollers may not have as many features as others, but are a lot easiest to push and to store.

Features!

Strollers these days come with all sorts of features, from storage areas to pivoting food trays, cup holders to adjustable handlebars.  Of course a lot of the features make the stroller more convenient to operate and more comfortable for the little passenger, but bear in mind that these accessories also add to the price tag.  So think long and hard toward whether these add-ons are necessary or whether you’d be better off with a stroller that has fewer features, but is less expensive and just as durable.

Choosing the right stroller is an important decision, and it often comes down to personal tastes and needs.  But hopefully these tips will help get you on the path to getting your child on wheels!