Category: Parenting

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c-sections Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

End Of An Era- A Mama’s Blog Final Blog Post

I entered the blogosphere on January 27, 2007. My eldest son, Ryan, was 3. My “baby” Cole, was 8-months old. Eight years later, they aren’t babies, toddlers, or even children anymore. They are a pre-teen and a “tween”.

Ryan just started 6th grade and middle school. He’s now 11.5 years old- going on 60, as I like to say. He’s so responsible, caring, conscientious, and a wonderful big brother. He loves bikes, sprinting, Legos, football, Boy Scouts, and movies.

Cole just started 4th grade. He is 9. He’s funny, quick minded, and extremely good at math. He can do any impression, and has a lot of voices he likes to talk in. I think he could be the next Adam Sandler, if he wanted to. He loves bikes, lacrosse, Legos, inventing things, figuring out how things work, and movies.

I never planned to stop “Mommy Blogging.” I have truly loved it and I have a wonderful journal of many memories of my boys, these past eight years. Sometimes I’ll come across a post I wrote, read it and I really don’t even remember the event happening, but I blogged it, so I know it did happen. Some of those early years were a haze. But I’m so glad I blogged for the time I did, and have the written record of my boys’ early childhood days.

At times, blogging provided me with a much needed outlet- to share and connect with other women who I didn’t know in “real life” and of course my “real life” friends too, all of us who were trying to figure out this motherhood thing. It provided me a community of support and friends.

As I found my way, I started blogging about other issues that mattered to me as a mother and a woman. One of the most traumatic things I ever experienced was a C-section with the birth of Ryan. Writing my account of my C-section, “The Reality of C-Sections” post, what I had learned from it, sharing with other women, what I wasn’t told or prepared for, and my road to recovery from it, in January 2008 is the number one read blog post on A Mama’s Blog. It still receives over 150 page views a day. Seven years later it still is the post that generates the most views and readers to A Mama’s Blog.

That tells me, C-sections are still a real concern and subject of interest for women. If no one ever reads another post on A Mama’s Blog, the number of women who have read that post, leaves me with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. The hundreds and hundreds of emails I’ve received from women all over the WORLD, thanking me for sharing that and helping inform about C-Sections, it was one thing that I was able to do here: share and help heal from the trauma countless women experience from C-sections, but do not feel supported to heal from. Myself included. I’m incredibly humbled from all the stories I have heard from you- over the years, on your own traumatic C-sections.

Every time I read an email from a woman telling me my post made her reconsider an “elective C-section,” well, it matters. All the women who tell me they too, pushed and demanded a VBAC for their births after a C-section, after reading my story, has been inspiring. Women are finding their “birth voices” again, and speaking up. We have found that how we give birth DOES matter. To us, to our families, and to our babies. It is one of the legacies I feel evolved from A Mama’s Blog. We as women and mothers have power- and we have a right to have our voices heard. Never just settle for something because a doctor tells you this is how it is, if you feel it isn’t right. Trust your body and your instincts- your body does know how to give birth. And in turn, we give birth to the next generation and pass this along to them, so our sons and daughters are informed on their birth options when the time comes for them, and it will. Sooner than we can imagine.

I have stopped writing about Ryan and Cole now for some time. They are both very private, and I never felt right about “blogging” about them. I think it is one thing to share stories of them with the world, when they are babies, toddlers, and young children. But at some point, not sure exactly when- but it has happened- their stories aren’t mine to tell and share. They belong to my boys. I have a wonderful relationship with them, and I would never want to betray that or have them find out and see some day I was sharing their stories about them, on a blog. It’s more important to me to have that trust with them, than to be a “Mommy Blogger.” So the past few years, I’ve blogged not about them- but issues I found interesting, my health, and my running.

I couldn’t pull the plug on blogging altogether. I couldn’t and didn’t want to say “good-bye” to A Mama’s Blog– my blog. I love writing. I have always been a writer. I found an audience and built a wonderful readership here. Writing saved my sanity when I was going through a divorce and cancer in 2009, and once again, I found a supportive community of many others, who were going through similar issues.

But it never felt like a fit, writing about these different subjects after I stopped blogging about Ryan and Cole. A Mama’s Blog is a parenting blog. It was meant to be about children, babies, birth, being mothers, and how that brought us all together as women. It’s never felt quite right to me, to totally have it go in a different direction from this.

So I have made the decision to let all the posts I wrote from my heart and shared with the world, through A Mama’s Blog, stand on their own, and leave it. As it was meant to be- a blog about a new mother figuring out parenting, and evolving, hoping one day her sons would want to read some it, and see who their mother was, as a person- beyond as they saw me as “Mom.” Going through life’s up’s and down’s, but remembering no matter what- my boys were the best and most important thing that ever happened to me. That is how I want A Mama’s Blog to stand, to be remembered, and come across in Google searches. 🙂

As for Ryan and Cole- one day- they will have this blog that their mother wrote- for them really, from my heart. It was always about Ryan and Cole- no matter what. My goal with writing A Mama’s Blog, is complete now.

This means me closing the book on my very successful (for me) blog, that I spent years creating. I remember thinking when I started writing my blog, if I had 50 readers one day, well I would consider myself happy and that would be great. When I checked my stats, one last time today, and I’ve not checked them for a very long time, my mouth fell open when I saw I had 50 readers of course but also had almost TEN THOUSAND times that to date. Over the years almost half a million visitors have read my blog, and they have generated almost one million page views! That wasn’t me- that was you, the readers, who made A Mama’s Blog part of your lives. As a sleep deprived mom, just starting to write about her life as a new mom, that was a dream I never thought I possible, but it filled my heart with a lot of joy today, realizing what the blog has grown to.

A Mama’s Blog opened up opportunities for me I never imagined. I was a blogger for the American Cancer Society for a year in 2010. I was able to help so many people going through thyroid cancer. I got to go to New York for this. I have met so many wonderful mothers and bloggers over the years, some of who have turned into very good friends. I had more opportunities open up to me that I just never had time to take on, but it always touched me that others resonated with what I was blogging and wanted to work with me. I never would have imagined the success I had, writing that first blog post about Ryan and Cole, one January evening in 2007. I have loved every minute of blogging.

Like many aspects of motherhood, we sacrifice our personal preferences at times, for our children. I would love to write about my boys- they are truly amazing- but I don’t come first. They do. They always have and always will. They were my inspiration and reasons for starting A Mama’s Blog, and they are my inspiration and reason for concluding it now. It’s time. It’s the end of an era.

So the time has come for me to write this final post. I can’t really find the words to thank all my readers and subscribers over the years. So many readers write and thank me for writing a post. But, really without my readers, I wouldn’t have had a successful blog. The “thanks” is mutual. There are no words to really express my appreciation and gratitude for my blog readers. There were many times, when I really didn’t know what I was going to do- when I was sick, or in a hard spot. I’d receive an email from a reader, or a comment, and it gave me such hope or inspired me some way.

That is another aspect I love about blogging- it’s not just one sided. I may write, but I learn just as much from reading comments and emails my readers send to me too.

I am leaving A Mama’s Blog as it is. I’m not closing down the site. I have closed all the comments though, and I’m not going to write new content. I will leave all the posts up and I know it will still continue to reach women. Maybe that new mother up at 3AM one night, searching for a topic about her new baby or motherhood, that she’s concerned about, will be guided to A Mama’s Blog. A woman suffering from a post traumatic C-section will come across my posts about C-sections. A scared cancer patient may find something I wrote about it, helpful, and feel not so alone or scared. Or a mother will just read something and realize she isn’t in this by herself- others have been through where she is now, made it through, and she will too. One quote I used a lot in my posts were, “This too, shall pass.” It always does, and we all have incredible resilience as women and mothers- more than we know at times. I always wanted to help women and I feel leaving A Mama’s Blog site up will continue to do that.

I’m going to leave A Mama’s Blog’s Facebook Page up for now, but I’m not going to be active there anymore either. It’s a public site and there are some links to various issues relating to motherhood I’ve found interesting, but it isn’t where my passion is.

Thinking about what to do about A Mama’s Blog over the years, has lead me to a new experience and a new blog. I never wanted to give up blogging, but never felt as passionate about any other subjects like I did mothering, to motivate me to put the energy into starting a new blog.

But, sometimes it’s not the right time for a new venture. When it is- you know it. While A Mama’s Blog is ending, I’m very excited to announce I’m starting a brand new blog. This isn’t about my children, it’s about me. I know it will require starting all over again- from the first reader, but I found an audience for A Mama’s Blog, and I know I will find an audience for my new blog.

The subjects are quite different, and while some of A Mama’s Blog readers may follow my new blog, and of course I would love that, I realize a different subject, different audience. I wanted to let my readers know though; I’m not just completely vanishing. I am a writer and my new blog is the subject that I’m passionate about now and is a subject I can share and write about.

My new blog is Running Free Blog. It is about my transitioning from traditionalist running to minimalist running style, and my journey to finally run a marathon with this running method. It isn’t a “running blog” per say, but I hope it will inspire and motivate my readers to follow their dreams, whether that is running, or looking for a new job. My dream is to run a marathon injury free. If you aren’t a runner, it doesn’t matter- we can achieve whatever we want, if we allow our minds to believe we can. That is part of the journey and the process. I’m going to be writing about that, as much as I am about running.

I’m also going to be providing tips for people who are running the traditional way and sharing what I’m learning about minimalist “barefoot” running too. I’m going to share how you can run low cost as well- you don’t have to spend a lot of money to run. I am going share my love of running and how I inspire and train myself, as a busy single mother, who works full time, and has other things going on in life. It will be my next journey- from the first steps I run minimalist- to the finish line of a marathon- and everything in between.

So while I hope you join me at Running Free Blog, I realize sometimes you can’t take the past with you. It’s a new chapter for me. I look forward to connecting with many of my A Mama’s Blog reader’s at Running Free Blog and Running Free Blog’s Facebook Page. I look forward to all the new connections I will make too, who will hopefully allow me to inspire and motivate them- even just a little bit- to achieve anything they can dream of. I know in turn, you will help continue to inspire me- you always have.

It’s the end of an era for A Mama’s Blog, but what an era it has been! The last thing I have left to say to my readers is THANK YOU! Thank you from my heart, for the last 8 years and 7 months, being my blog’s readers, subscribers, supporters, but most of all- my friends. ♥♥♥

********************************************

Now for the final pictures.

These were the first two pictures I ever posted of Ryan and Cole in my first ever blog post. Ages 3 and 8-months. Their first appearance on the blog.

ryan 1

cole 1

This is Cole and Ryan on August 19, 2015 on the first day of school. Ages 9 and 11.5. Their final appearance on the blog.

ryancole

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from”~
T.S. Eliot

Categories
Cancer Current Events Mothering Parenting

GMO Labeling- Why It Matters (Colorado Proposition 105)

I am not very involved in politics, and am happy, not paying attention to every last political debate and issue.  But one issue that I’ve been watching and have concerned about for years is the safety of GMO’s.

GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organism. “These are plant or meat products that have had their DNA artificially altered by genes from other plants, animals, viruses, or bacteria, in order to produce foreign compounds in that food. These genetic alterations occur in a laboratory and are not found in nature.”

There are multiple issues surrounding GMO’s, but I’m going highlight two of the main concerns I have especially as a mother and a cancer survivor, concerned with my health and the health of my two growing boys, ages 10 and 8.

The first issue is I am concerned about with GMO’s, is they have never been, and are not currently tested for effects (short term and long term) on humans, by the FDA before human consumption. How can something lab created, which has never been consumed by humans before, be put in our food supply, with absolutely no testing on their safety?

We are told by the FDA and the companies that create them, that GMO’s are safe with no harmful side effects, but how is this proven? Where is the proof that after 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, GMO’s won’t harm infants, children, or adults?  We are told they are safe, but scientists developing them have to wear protective suits, to even distribute the chemicals on their GMO crops, they say are safe for us to eat. What kind of science is that? Why aren’t studies done first to test this food before telling consumers it is safe, and using it in production of our food?  You may have seen this floating around from time to time in regards to GMO’s and I think it sums up this concern perfectly.

 

GMO

 

A second issue of concern I have are GMO’s are not produced by local farmers, or farmer co-ops, experimenting with crops, at a local level, like in the past, but by billion dollar chemical companies.  The largest GMO producer is Monsanto, the producer of toxic herbicide, Round Up.  Yes, the chemical that annihilates weeds- that is the corporation who is producing close to 90% of the GMO seeds in the WORLD.

Montsanto’s GMO’s are not designed to increase food production. The world has always been able to produce enough crops. Many experts agree, hunger is an economic and food distribution problem. There is not conclusive evidence showing that GMO’s solves the issues of hunger or poverty.

But GMO’s do make Montsanto an enormous amount of profit.  How?  Montsanto sells their pricey seeds to farmers, who are required to sign contracts to keep buying seeds year after year. As the crops become more herbicide resistant, Montsanto profits by having more farmers who have to buy more chemicals- namely Round Up. Meanwhile the farmer is caught in a vicious cycle now.

These GMO’s can be easily spread and interbred with other organisms, which can’t be undone. This can include cross pollination with other crops, and PropToxins that are used in GMO’s to make them resistant, have shown up in humans and in unborn fetuses. I live on the border of Boulder County, CO which has banned GMO crops, as has Burlington, VT. North Dakota, Montana, and Vermont also bans GMO wheat for some of these reasons.

Sixty two countries around the world, including the entire European Union, China, Japan, Australia, (to name a few) have banned GMO’s or require labeling. The United States is the only developed country in the world that does not require labeling of GMO foods. 

In 1996 when Montsanto started selling its Round Up Ready soybeans, only 2% of the soybeans in the US contained their patented gene. By 2008 over 90% of the soybeans in the US contained the Montsanto gene. 

Montsanto also produces (but later sold to a division of Eli Lilly) the rBGH dairy growth hormone that has been banned and pledged by suppliers not to use on their cows, because of concerns of safety. It’s not banned by the FDA (why is that not surprising either?), but consumers have largely rejected this, and many retailers like Kroger, Safeway, Costco, others and even Wal-Mart ban and prohibit it from their suppliers.  If you looked at your milk right now, in the fridge it says something like “Produced without artificial growth hormone rBST.” This message is brought to you courtesy of Montsanto, and their pushing an unproven chemical with the FDA’s approval, into our milk supply.

Did you notice though, because the consumers rejected this from Montsanto, it never became the standard for injecting cows that produce our milk with this hormone? In fact, producers are now eager to tell us their milk doesn’t contain rBST.  I mention this to show the history of Montsanto and the FDA has not been to produce safe chemicals, to boost the world’s food supply, but to get their untested, and questionable at best, chemicals out to the market place, to make more and more money.  Hard to believe!  (insert sarcasm). It also shows that we, the consumers, have a huge voice and say, in how our food gets produced, and presented to us!

I am not a scientist by any means, but with this history and background it doesn’t take a scientist to know that the FDA or businesses do not always look out for the consumer’s best interests. Companies like Montsanto are not looking out for our health- they are looking out for their bottom line, with no regard to our health or farming. Montsanto’s profit in 2013 was 2.4 billion dollars!

I’m not opposed at all to a company making money, as long as they are not harming people and putting our health in jeopardy.  It seems to me that Montsanto does everything to make a profit BUT take our health or possible health risks into account with their GMO’s.  That is what I have an issue with.  Our health should not be sacrificed or even be put in the slightest risk, so a corporation can make another billion dollars.  All while fighting regulation to label their GMO’s, while the FDA does not require safety tests, before GMO’s are in our food supply.   It leaves more questions than answers in my mind, such as, why does every other major country in the world ban GMO’s or require labeling if they are so “safe?”

A toxic chemical billion dollar company, altering and manipulating plant genes, producing food, never studied on humans, but touted to the public consumer as safe? No thank you. I personally don’t trust it, feel it is safe, and neither does the majority of the developed world. I think there should be labeling of GMO’s as a very basic standard, so people can choose for themselves what kind of food they are eating.

That brings me to the next part of this post, in Colorado on our November ballot, we will have a chance to vote on Colorado Mandatory Labeling of GMOs Initiative, Proposition 105.  The measure would require any “prepackaged, processed food or raw agricultural commodity that has been produced using genetic modification” to include the label: “Produced with genetic engineering.” If approved, the law would be put into effect by January 1, 2016.

Obviously, I think labeling of GMO’s are needed.  I want to know if the food I am eating and feeding to my children contain GMO’s.  Organic food in the United States, should not contain any GMO’s at all, according to standards, or it can’t be labeled organic.  But eating 100% organic food all the time, is not realistic or practical.  Some conventional foods are not produced with GMO’s, and I feel we should have the knowledge and choice by labeling GMO’s to decide for ourselves and our families.

Millions of dollars are being spent in Colorado and Oregon (where it is on the ballot in November as well, as Measure 92) to defeat this from becoming law.  Why? If GMO’s are so safe, then why are companies like Monsanto, who produce the majority of GMO’s and deem them safe for us all, are spending millions to defeat these ballot initiatives?  In fact, Montsanto has spent almost 10 million dollars in Colorado and Washington, just in this election season, trying to defeat these from becoming law.  They have spent millions more in previous elections in other states, with similar ballot initiatives. How much food could 10 million plus dollars buy for the world’s hungry? Yet, they feel this money should be spent keeping consumers in the dark, if our food contains their GMO’s.  Why?

If you scroll down on the Colorado Mandatory Labeling link I posted a few paragraphs above, they list companies that support and oppose Proposition 105. But you probably can guess what companies are on this list, and what companies aren’t, without even looking. Hint- local, organic, smaller farmers, grocery chains and businesses who support it; big businesses, and big farming corporations, who oppose it (funded with Monsanto’s millions).

If GMO’s are safe, pose no health risks, and labeling is already required in all the other countries these corporations do business in, then what is the big deal if a few states in the United States, make GMO labeling mandatory? Is this really worth spending millions of dollars to defeat in Colorado and Washington?  Obviously that answer is resounding yes, from the very companies and producers of GMO’s themselves.   And again, I ask why?

I hope if you are undecided on this issue, you will look into it more before you vote, if you live in Colorado or Washington.  I think it is important we hold these companies and the FDA accountable.  There should be a very basic standard on all food produced, and that is to label what is in the food for the consumer.  We are all capable of deciding for ourselves if we are willing to gamble with our health, by being guinea pigs to billion dollar chemical corporations’  “safe” GMO’s. We all have a right to know what is in our food.

I will be voting YES for GMO’s to be labeled in Colorado.  I’m not willing to risk my health or the health of my children, by just taking a “good ole” billion dollar chemical company’s word that GMO’s are safe. I want to know what is in my food I’m buying for my family. It matters how our food is produced.  Evidently, Monsanto and the big corporations think so too- otherwise they would not be spending millions of dollars opposing the measure,  giving consumers the choice to decide.  Actions speak louder than words.

Categories
Cole Current Events Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan School

Wanted For Christmas-Socks With No Holes: Five Years Later

Five years ago, my sister, Mara, sent me an email about her second grade students, in an impoverished school. She sent some of their letters they had written to Santa. The letters were heartbreaking- kids were asking not for phones, X-Boxes, or video games. They wanted coats, food, jobs for their parents, and the one request that went straight to my heart from the little boy, who only asked for “socks with no holes in them.”

She asked me if I could post her request for donations on my blog, so she could help give these kids some sort of a Christmas. It was the least I could do.

A few weeks later, Mara, told me excitedly that one of the officers, Seargent Alex, at Buckley Air Force Base in Aurora, CO had read my blog post regarding her school, responded to the call, and the officers and their families in his unit, were “adopting” her classroom, to bring these students gifts. Mara didn’t originally get the first message he left for her at the school. It was a bad connection and she couldn’t make out the number he had left. I wrote another post, asking if Seargent Alex was still reading my blog, to please call Mara again- she needed the help. He ended up seeing the post, and contacted her again. He put in effort to make this happen.

I remember feeling amazed, happy, and proud, that the few minutes I took to post her request on my blog- someone who wanted to help, reached out and helped children who otherwise would not have a Christmas- have a day they would never forget.

It was a particularly bright moment for me, because at the time, my marriage was crumbling, for a variety of reasons. I remember telling my now ex-husband about Mara’s room, the gifts, about Seargent Alex finding my blog, and all the help his unit was giving Mara’s classroom. He looked at me and said, “Who would ever want to read your blog? Don’t they have anything better to do in the Air Force?” Anyone who writes, knows you put a lot of yourself into your writing, and it hurt to hear that.  But, I was determined to stay focused on the positive-someone had read the post, and wanted to help.  I knew Seargent Alex had read my blog-of course he had better things to do, but this was important to him, as it was to me.

Over the years, I’ve helped Mara shop for the kids, posted the blog story again and again, help her with the drive, answer emails- anything she asked me, I tried to help out with the best I could. I have helped her do everything but actually show up on the day. I was always working. I wanted to take Ryan and Cole with me, but they were always in school.

This year, Ryan and Cole’s school was out a few days before Mara’s gift drive for her kids. I decided to just make it happen. I asked Mara what else her class needed and she said pencil sharpeners. Her kids only have 1 or 2 pencils, and if the lead breaks at home, they don’t do their homework. When she has given them mechanical pencils, their older siblings take them, because they don’t have pencils. So Ryan, Cole, and I got on Amazon, and picked out a bulk package of pencil sharpeners. It came to a whole $6. Ryan and Cole split the cost, and paid for them out of their allowance.

Yesterday, we finally got to Mara’s room for the gift drive. Ryan and Cole started handing out the sharpeners. We had enough to give each student 3. The kids were squealing and saying, “These are so cool,” like they were receiving something much more than a small pencil sharpener. They started changing the lids around to make a “Bronco” sharpener- blue and orange. Ryan came over to whisper to me, “they are so happy, Mom, over a pencil sharpener.” I told him yes, and he helped make them happy.

Ryan playing Santa
Ryan playing Santa

The four officers from Buckley Air Force, who came that first year, with Seargent Alex, with gifts for my sister’s class, has grown since that first year in 2008.  Yesterday there were more than 30 Air Force Officers, at the school for gifts for the ENTIRE second grade. They had coats, mittens, toys, food, smiles, hugs, and love for these kids. I never would have imagined that afternoon; a simple blog post could have grown into something that it has.

I found out from Mara too, that Seargent Alex is no longer in active duty. I was sad to hear that, and sad I was never able to meet him. But then she said, “But he’s here today. He comes every year, and still helps out. He’s here with his wife and toddler son.”

For the first time yesterday, I met Seargent Alex. He said he had been looking for a way to help, people who really needed it, and it was actually difficult to do so! He said he had checked with various organizations, and they all asked him to just drop off a check. But he wanted to actually do something. He said he came across my blog then, and knew he had to call Mara. I thanked him, for all of this over the years, and he thanked me for writing the post.

Sargent Alex and I, 12.20.12
Sargent Alex and I, 12.20.12

For me, it has come full circle.  I set out to help Mara five years ago- never expecting anything to come from it like this, it has ended up helping me. Just always knowing one person like the “Seargent Alex’s” of the world are out there, willing, able, and lovingly ready to help. When people tell you what you do, will never make a difference, Mara’s gift drive for her second grade students, the people like Seargent Alex, and all the people from family, to friends, to strangers, who help, proves that wrong, every year. It keeps growing, and the generosity keeps growing every year too.

Tears were brought to my eyes yesterday, as I was standing by the cutest little girl, Joselyn.  She opened her box with a coat, gloves, and a hat. She hugged her box. She smiled. Then she asked if we could wrap it back up for her, so she could have something to open on Christmas Day. Ryan and Cole heard this, and their eyes grew wide. I told her “of course, sweetie.” Ryan took the box from her, Mara got the wrapping paper, and Cole got the tape. Ryan, Cole, and I, rewrapped that present with probably more love, than I have ever wrapped a present before. The boys found a candy cane for her, and helped me tape it to the box. Ryan told me, “Now she will have a candy cane on Christmas morning too.” Ryan and Cole both walked the gift back to her, and she was smiling from ear to ear. Just doing that simple thing- made a difference for her.

All Smiles from Joselyn!
All Smiles from Joselyn!

We all have struggles, problems, things we wish were different in our life circumstances, but a lot of us have a coat, and our kids have coats. We don’t worry where our next meal is coming from. We can put gifts under the tree for our kids. It might not be the iMac Pro Laptop Ryan wanted, but he doesn’t have one present he has to rewrap to open again.

It did all of our hearts good, and definitely opened Ryan and Cole’s eyes to different circumstances people live with. What they saw and witnessed yesterday- is the real meaning of Christmas. Not what you get, but what you can do for others, and how you make them feel.

Thank you Mara, for letting us be a part of this, and thank you to everyone who helps out every year.

And, thank you Seargent Alex- your kindness and actions have helped more than just second graders. The world definitely is a lot brighter for us this Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all my readers and their families!

Categories
Cole Current Events Mothering Parenting Ryan School

Sandy Hook

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Photo Credit: Gamma Gallery

I have barely read any of the developments on Sandy Hook.  I can’t.  It’s too horrific for me to digest right now. I know the basic details, but wish I didn’t.

Ryan and Cole were with their father this weekend, but Ryan asked me over the phone on Friday night, if I had heard what happened, and I was saddened he knew about this.  Tonight, when we got home, Ryan asked me what would happen if that happened at his school-what if someone comes in and does that? I could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

I told him everything I had read you are “supposed” to tell kids, but the words sounded hollow, as they came out of my mouth.  Reassurances didn’t sound very convincing either, because something like this should have never happened, but it did.  What can be more gruesome, disturbing, and evil than the countless mass murder of innocent little children, in their classrooms?

I told my sons things like this are very, very, rare.  But something inside of me felt like I needed to tell them more- not just “everything will be fine”, and they will always be safe, because what just happened in our country on Friday, in small town-America, in one of our schools, where the inconceivable became conceivable, then yes, it is possible it can happen again.  I know we all pray, wish, hope, and talk about change, to prevent it again, but it is our reality now.

I took a deep breath and felt my world, and the world of my boys’ change forever- another piece of innocence gone.  I hugged Ryan and Cole as tight as I could and I told them,

“If someone ever comes in your school, or class, to hurt you, you think.  Listen to your teacher, but also be smart. If your teacher is gone, try to hide, if you can’t and someone is right there to hurt you with a gun, lie down on the floor. Get under a desk, close your eyes and play dead. If you look like you are dead, sometimes people who do this, leave you alone. If you see someone in your school that doesn’t belong, or scares you, tell a grown-up you know right away.  Most people do not want to hurt children and teachers, but it is OK for us to talk about this, and OK for you to keep telling me your thoughts. We will talk about it, and work on it so you guys feel safe.”

And then I hugged them again.  And they hugged me back.

Was that the “right” thing to say to them? I don’t know.  I never, never, never, in a million years thought when I was holding my newborn babies, and looking in their little eyes, and holding their little hands, I’d ever have to have a conversation like this, with them. They don’t exactly cover having to talk to your kids about something of this magnitude in parenting magazines.  But I want to keep them safe.  I would rather them know a few things they could do- maybe they would have half a chance-maybe not.  When these madmen are bent on taking lives, they usually succeed.

But as we found out on Friday, and as we all try to figure this out, one thing I know for us, is pretending things like this don’t happen, aren’t an option anymore.

(The picture at the top of this post is by Gamma from Gamma Gallery– an artist in Longmont, Colorado- where we used to live. I saw this, and I think it speaks the words, no one can really find to say).

 

 

Categories
Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

My Boys, Old Movies

When I moved in May, my new place didn’t receive satellite.  So I opted to just pull the “satellite plug” and see how we would do without TV.  The boys and I never watched a lot of TV anyway. Other than not having the Olympics, we’ve not missed it.

I order them movies from Netflix though, and it’s been really fun to see them enjoy older movies.

I ordered a Disney movie that came up in my suggestions, I had never seen. Considering how much my mom liked Disney movies, it is really rare, there is a Disney movie, I hadn’t seen.   It was “Follow Me Boys,” with Fred MacMurray. It is from 1966, and follows the story of a town and a man, as it organizes it’s first Boy Scout Troop.  The first two times I ordered it, the disc was scratched, and the third time I ordered it, the disc was broken in half. It took us the entire summer to watch it, but the boys absolutely loved it.  It really is a fun movie, with a lot of humor.  Fred MacMurray is wonderful as the Scoutmaster, Kirk Russell is one of the boys in the town, and does really well in one of his first parts.  I actually teared up in a few spots-especially at the end.  I bought the boys our own copy, and they’ve watched it three times so far.  Watch out for the marching song, “Follow Me Boys,” it is very catchy and my boys sing it constantly.

The second movie was another Disney movie, (noticing a theme here?) and it was Davy Crockett.  I think that pretty much speaks for itself.  Ryan and Cole loved it,they sing the theme song, and I bought them their own copy.  I remember watching part of it when I was little, but never saw the whole thing all the way through . It was a “boy” movie to me back then.  But, it is one of my boys’ favorites now.   I think it is pretty remarkable it was made in 1955 and almost 60 years later, with all the digital and high tech movies we have, this movie holds my boys’ interest like it was released today.

Finally, after seeing all these boy movies, I decided to show them something a little different.  Another movie I liked, and my brother liked it too, is from Disney again, and it is a fun musical type movie, “Summer Magic,” with Haley Mills.  Since we moved over the summer, the boys were interested in the story line: a family has to move from the city to the country.  The main characters are teenagers, which Ryan and Cole like. Anyone who is a teenager right now, is cool to them. There are a lot of fun songs, and the boys really liked Burl Ives in the movie, and the song he sings with smaller boy, “Ugly Bug Ball.”

A few days after the boys watched this movie, Cole said his favorite part was when the Burl Ives character named Mr. Poppem, was writing a letter to Mr. Hamilton, with his back turned, and didn’t know it was Mr. Hamilton he was talking to. Cole then went on to do the impression of Mr. Poppem talking. He sounded just like him!

We did a lot of fun things this summer, but watching some of the movies I liked as a kid, with my kids, it was really neat to share that with them.  I may sound old fashioned, but I like we can watch these movies from when times were simpler, and they can see what life was like, but the basic thread that makes people nice and enjoy each other, hasn’t changed.  I like I don’t have to worry about violence, cussing, or themes that are too mature for them.  It makes me think back to my own mom, and maybe that is what she thought when she was showing them to us, when we were kids.

I suppose that is why they are called classics.  My boys right now just call them really, really good movies.

Which older movies do your kids like?