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Current Events Me

Good-Bye Whitney Houston

I grew up listening to Whitney Houston. It was sad, and sadly, not a huge shock, to hear of her untimely death yesterday.  She had such a powerful and astounding voice, never duplicated. I think one of the tragic things is someone so talented, probably didn’t have to die. Unfortunately, these types of deaths are way to common today.  Back in the day, she would have never seemed like a person who would succumb to addictions.

But addictions claim the lives of of thousands and thousands people every day.  We all know of someone who is or has suffered from addictions.  I think when someone famous dies, it brings it closer to home- if it can happen to them, it can happen to anyone.

Still, her voice and spirit will live on in her music.  My favorite song of hers is One Moment In Time.  For me, it captures the hopes and dreams we all have at one time or another, for our lives.

As I was driving today, some of her great songs ran through my mind, and I made them into a short paragraph:

One moment in time, didn’t we almost have it all- the greatest love of all. All at once, I’m every woman, you give good love.  How will I know, I wanna dance with somebody. I have nothing, where do broken hearts go,  I will always love you.

Below is Whitney Houston singing live, One Moment In Time at the 1988 Grammys.  I think it is one of the best live performances I’ve ever heard.

RIP  Whitney Houston- thanks for the timeless songs, and sharing your amazing voice.

Categories
Cancer Health Me

Facing My Health Fears

As the last week of 2009 starts, I am struggling with a few health matters I keep putting off.

I “fired” my endocrinologist in November.  I was supposed to have a follow-up apppointment 4 weeks after I started on Synthroid to make sure my dosage was correct, which means I should have been seen in September.  However, they couldn’t fit me in until November.  Fortunately, I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon in October, and he was able to order the test and confirm my dosage was correct. 

After the errors that the endocrinologist’s office made after my surgery in the summer, I lost a lot of confidence in them.  They did get my initial dosage correct though- the first time, which is almost unheard of.  I was told it could take almost a year for my dosage of Synthroid to be fined tuned.  Several thyroid cancer survivors I know have had their dosages adjusted no less than 6 times, and one person has told me her dosage has been adjusted 12 times in less than a year.

When I knew my dosage was correct in October, I called my endocrinologist’s office and canceled my appointment for November and told them I was going to find a different doctor closer to my home.  I told them I was disappointed with the errors they made, but thankful they were able to determine my correct dosage so accurately. 

So here I am- almost two months later and I haven’t started a search, or let alone been in to see a new endocrinologist.  My surgeon recommended two at the health clinic in town, who he said were trained at the facility of my former endocrinologist.  It would be very easy for me to call and get an appointment, and yet I find myself hesitating. 

Last week I received a reminder postcard from my doctor’s office for my annual exam.  I am due to see her in January.  This was the appointment where she first felt an abnormality in my thyroid last year.  I have put off scheduling that appointment too, because I’m nervous.  I know in reality, the chances of any other major health issue being discovered, is very slim, and I know early detection is the key to everything.  But again, I am hesitating.

I feel like I have just put all the cancer and health issues behind me, and these appointments are reminders that I have to start thinking about it again.  It also is like a  bright flashing light into a dark room, reminding me there are no guarantees, and anything can happen.  I might think I am in good health, and everything is fine, only to discover I have an illness that is out of my control.  The thought has entered my mind more than once- what if they find I have another type of cancer?

I have never been nervous or afraid doctor appointments- I used to like going, to hear everything was fine.  I am not sure  I will ever have that feeling again.  I’m not sure if I will always hear everything is fine anymore.  Not scheduling these appointments means I don’t  have to deal with these feelings right now.   

But yet, by not dealing with these feelings, and not making the appointments, the uncertainty stays with me, and my fears grow- not occupying my thoughts, but just below the surface.  It settles in my mind when I am falling asleep, or it is the first thing I think of when I wake up- am I really okay, or has it been a mistake?

The only way to find out for sure, and to get rid of this doubt is to just make and go the appointments.  I promised myself I would make the appointments before the end of the year, so I now have four days left.  Despite my fears, I know this is a promise I have to keep.     

Categories
Family & Friends Health Holidays Me

It’s A Wonderful Life

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photo credit by Wikipedia

It’s A Wonderful Life is my favorite Christmas movie.  Growing up, I seemed to watch it several times during the holidays. I haven’t seen it though recently in many years.   

There are so many true-to-life themes in the movie.  The main one being, you never really can know the extent that your life touches others.  Another theme is even though our lives may seem ordinary to us, no life is just ordinary.  Even if we never achieve what we set out to do, or life goes in a totally different direction that what we planned, our life still matters and can be great and inspiring to others by the course it does take.  One of the quotes from the movie is, “every man’s life is important because it touches so many other lives.”  Another theme is we don’t appreciate what we have, or truly understand the blessings we have in our life, until they are taken away.

I find it a little more than just coincidence that I’m thinking about this story and its themes this year, after what has been undoubtedly, the hardest year of my life.  The last twelve months have not been easy.  Cancer and divorce are not easy to face as separate events, and this year they ran parallel for me.  Many times during the year, I could not wait until 2009 was over, and I could put this horrible year behind me.

As I have thought more and more about it, I have realized while the year has been hard, it has not been horrible.  So many positive things have happened as well.  Personally, I have learned many valuable things over the course of the year.  One of which, is you are never really alone.  There are always family and friends that support you.  Because of my illness this year, I found this out to an extent I have never experienced before.  I am not certain that without my illness, I would have ever discovered this. 

The other night, the closing scene from It’s A Wonderful Life popped into my mind.  It is when George sees the inscription in the book from Clarence which says, “remember no man is a failure who has friends.”  This past year by itself was difficult.  But because of my friends and family, it has been a wonderful year.  My children and I are truly blessed.  Thank you all. 

I wish all my family, friends, and blog readers the happiest of holidays, and much happiness, love, and friendship in 2010.  All of us really do, have a wonderful life.

Categories
Health Me Running

Sidelined by Shin Splints-Maybe for Good

A few days after the 5K race last month, my shins hurt a lot and I knew I had shin splints.  The only thing I could do was rest them, which meant not running.  

I sat out for nine days, and I hated it.  I felt like every day I missed running, all the momentum I had gained in the last three months was slipping away.  I tried to be proactive, and I read up on shin splints so I would learn how to treat them, and also how to prevent getting them again.  I think adding sprints to the end of my running is what caused me to get them in the first place.  I increased the speed that I ran these too quickly.

I also learned I wasn’t stretching my calves as well I could have, so I learned some deeper calf muscle stretches, and some other stretches just for the shins.  My two Uncle Mike’s, both former marathon runners, suggested that I start landing on my heel more, versus the front of my foot.  The Chi Running method also incorporates this- and teaches you to put more of your weight in the middle of your foot.

After taking nine days off, and not feeling shin pain, I set out last Tuesday to run again.  I only ran two miles to take it slow.  At first I didn’t feel any pain, but the last quarter mile I started to feel the slightest pain.  Two hours later, my shins hurt again.  Obviously they weren’t healed.  I was bummed, but several people told me, and I read that if you keep running while you have shin splints, it can lead to further damage and even surgery.  I was encouraged that even though I only ran 2 miles, I ran those at an eight minute pace. 

The next few days, my shins started to feel better, but I had come down with a bad cold so I wasn’t going to run in the colder weather while I was sick.  On Saturday, I had no shin pain whatsoever, and my cold was getting better.  I decided to try out the 3.2 miles for a 5K distance, but go very slowly, incorporating the new running methods I have read about.

I started out well- there was no pain at all.  But I noticed right away landing on my foot differently, changed the pacing I was used to.  This caused my breathing to be off, and as a result, I got a terrible pain in my side.  Just like when I first started running!  I realized I was going to have to find my pacing and breathing all over again!   I decided to concentrate on that, and completing the 5K distance for the rest of the run. 

When I was about half-way through, I got a shooting cramp in my thigh.  That had never happened before to me at all, and I think it was from the new way I was landing.  I never did find my breathing and pacing rhythm, and at the end of the run, I realized I forgot to time myself.  About the only success I had was there was no shin pain, and I was able to run the 5K distance with a cramp in my side and thigh.  Not exactly what I was hoping for.

If I decide to keep running, I am going to have to start out slowly again, and build back up to where I was.  I have to start all over again!  I wanted to enter a 5K race this month, but there is no way I am ready for that right now.  I am mad at myself that I got shin splints to begin with- I should have been more careful.  It seems like it is a fine line between pushing yourself to do better, while at the same time not pushing so much that you end up injured.  

I admit after that horrible run on Saturday, I was frustrated and disappointed beyond belief!  I have been thinking about just giving it up.  I wonder if I really have it in me to start from square one again?  I thought about asking a few people that have been really supportive of my running, what they think I should do, but I know I have to make this decision for myself.  It would be easier to not run, and just wait until the weather warmed up and I could start riding my bike again.  After all, I only started out running to run one race, and I accomplished that and more. 

I have no shin pain, and in theory I could start again from square one.  Tuesday is a day I normally run, but I haven’t decided if I am going to start again today.  Part of me tells me not to quit- that I can do this, and another part tells me I’ve done what I set out to do.  Is that enough for me?   Will I always wonder what else I could have accomplished if I stop running now?  Is it worth it to risk more injuries and all the hard work again?

When I can answer these questions, I will have a decision.

Categories
Activities Family & Friends Health Me Running

The Second Race

Last week, on Monday, I blogged that I was ready to run, and I was going to push myself in my second 5K race on Saturday to see what I could accomplish. 

On Tuesday when I started to run, felt the start of shin splints in both my shins.  The pain wasn’t bad, but it was there.  I kept running and after the first mile or so, the pain went a way.  Later, I read up on the causes of shin splints, and I believe I was developing them because I had added several sprints after my normal runs to increase my speed.  The week before most of the path  I ran on was covered in snow and ice, and running on such an imbalanced course may have increased the pressure my shins were taking. 

I asked on Facebook what to do for shin splints, and I received a lot of good advice: from evaluating my shoes, to stretching,  to using ice and heat, to looking into ChiRunning, to stop running and rest my shins.  I looked up some specific stretches for the shins and calves, and started doing those immediately. 

On Wednesday and Thursday, the pain came and went.   Normally, I would have just stopped running for the week, but I had been looking forward to this race, and  I really wanted to run in it.  However, I knew it was not worth getting a serious injury, or having to sit out for months, just for one race.  I made the decision reluctantly on Thursday night, that if I had any more pain in my shins before the race, I was not going to run in it.  I started using heat and ice on my shins. 

I woke up on Friday and they felt great.  If I touched my shin bone, there was a tiny bit of discomfort, but it wasn’t painful.  I did not run on Friday, but Friday night I did some stretches and the heat and ice again before I went to bed.  Saturday morning I woke up, and there was no pain- not even when I touched my shin bones.  I was so excited, and was ready for the race!

The weather in Denver on Saturday for the Denver Veteran’s Day 5K Race, was beautiful.  It was sunny and in the high 30’s.  The race started at 8AM, and it was a perfect morning for running.  My dad was excited to come with me again, and he is now the “official” race photographer!

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Right after I had warmed up- about 15 minutes until race time!

I discovered that I was in the age category for 35 and older, but I had no idea how many people were in my age group. The top three winners in each age group, both male and female would be awarded a medal.   Most of the runners looked young- the race was on a college campus, so the vast majority of runners were college aged.  I lined up in the 8-10 mile group, or the second group to start:

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You can see my “secret weapon” I mentioned in my Ready to Run blog post in these two pictures P.S- the black ankle bracelets everyone is wearing is the timer chip

Since I started in the second wave, we had to stand around for about a minute waiting.  I was trying to visualize running the course, but it is really hard to stay calm, when you just want to start running!  They told us the course was two laps around, and it was time to go!

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This race was so uncrowded, I was able to run right by my dad when I started.  That was nice.  There was also a barefoot running club that had several runners running in their bare feet, as you can see in the picture above.  My dad got quite a kick out of that- he didn’t think anyone should be running on a public street in their bare feet! (that is a hint to my “secret weapon” too, if you haven’t guessed, or noticed yet. 🙂  )

As I started running, I realized I started out too fast. My pacing was off.  I was mad that I had let the excitement distract me.  I also felt hot immediately.  I had been debating taking my jacket off before the race, but it was cold.  The first few minutes I was already hot, but I didn’t want to take the time to mess up my pacing anymore by taking the jacket off.  I decided to run with it and then dump it at the start of the second lap.  

I tried to make the adjustment to get my pacing back on track.   A lot of people passed me, but I wasn’t paying too much attention to them.  I was focusing on getting my stride and breathing back to where I know it needed to be.  I was very happy though, I had not felt any pain in my shins.

After about half a mile, I felt like I was back on my pacing, and started to relax and just enjoy the run.  I noticed one female runner who had passed me at the beginning, looked about my age and she was about 50 yards ahead of me.  The course was great- there was lots of room to run, and there was no one around you.  It was very easy to concentrate and focus on running.  The only issue I was having was I was hot.  I had unzipped the jacket and that helped some, but I couldn’t wait until I could shed it.

I noticed a lot of younger guys were passing me, but that was okay.  I passed a few people too, but I wasn’t paying too much attention to their ages.  The only person I kept my sights on was the  female runner that was still ahead of me.

As I approached the end of the first lap, I started trying to take my jacket off, and it got stuck!  Then it wouldn’t go over my gloves! I was so frustrated, but was trying not to let it break my concentration.  I passed the start line, saw my dad, and finally got the jacket off!  I was very happy to throw it in the grass.  But then my earphones got twisted up and were dangling off of me.  I had to take my gloves off to fix the earphones, and then put the gloves back on.

By the time these issues were fixed, I felt like I had lost some time.  Having been around the course once already, I started making a mental plan on when I could make some time up, or at least try not to slow down.  A female barefoot runner passed me, and that seemed to give me a shot of motivation.  I didn’t want anyone else to pass me.  Around 2.5 miles, I started to speed up slightly, trying to making up some of the time I felt I had lost. 

I focused on my breathing, and stride.  I was tired, but I told myself I was almost done, and this would show me what I could do. I started running faster.  We were coming down the last 300 yards or so, and I was right about to pass the female runner that had been ahead of me the entire run. I thought for a second if my shins could handle it, but I had been training sprinting 400 yards.  I decided to go for it!!

As soon as I started sprinting she did too. I told myself I didn’t work that hard on my sprinting for nothing.  This was the moment I could give it my all- my absolute best now, and see what would happen.  This is a picture of that moment:

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I passed her with about 100 yards left to go (she’s wearing the cap), and I crossed the finish line!  I heard the announcer say my number and name, and she added, “What a finish!”

I was elated and thrilled!  Despite all the issues I dealt with during this race, I was able to work them out, and had a strong finish.  I also knew without checking the clock or time, that it was the fastest I have ever ran!

My dad gave me a hug, and I told him I had to keep moving for a few minutes.  He walked with me, and told me had timed me for the first lap and he thought I was about 14 minutes.  He said if I had done that for my second lap, I’d be right around the 28 minute mark.  My goal for this race for time was under 30 minutes.  I had only hit this once before- the Tuesday before the race- I had run the distance in 29:53.

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Moments after I had finished the race

I ate some food and talked to my dad while we waited the results.  He was happy to tell me that the first few people that had crossed the finish line were runners that were wearing shoes!  We walked around looking at the vendor’s swag, and I got some cool whistles for Ryan and Cole.  I was going to go put my jacket in the car, when I saw they had the results posted.  I had to wait about five minutes before I could work my way in to the table to check.  It took me a few minutes to find my name, and when I did, I checked, double checked, and triple checked.  I thought I was reading the results wrong. 

My dad was a few feet away from the table, and he was dying to know my time.  I had my results memorized by now, and I left the result table to tell him.  My results were:

Time: 27:07. My personal best!   I finished at 36:35 at the Race for the Cure.  I dropped 9:28 off my time in a month!

Lap 1 Time: 13:34

Lap 2 Time: 13:33

I was in 5th place for my age group out of 32 runners. 

I finished 64th overall out of 135 runners.

I finished 16 seconds behind the 4th place finisher, 1:08 behind the third place finisher, 6:02 behind the second finisher, and 6:32 behind the first place finisher. 

I missed a medal by only two people.  I wasn’t sad, but amazed that I finished that close to runners who medaled!  I never would have thought that this was possible three months ago, when I barely had enough energy to function!

I pushed myself, and I was on cloud nine with the results! 

I had no shin pain after the race, but on Saturday night, the tendons above my right ankle hurt.  On Sunday my shins felt great, but on Sunday night I woke up in the middle of the night and they were throbbing.  On Monday, they hurt again, like they did last week. 

I am taking at least a week off from running to let my shins, and tendons rest.  I have some good news about my dad, that I’ll share in another blog post soon. 

I’m eyeing another 5K in December- the ColderBolder at the CU campus in Boulder, or the Rudolph Ramble in City Park in Denver.

To be continued…