Category: Household

Long Week is Over

I didn’t blog much last week, because Joe was out of town the entire week, so the “single parenting” kept me busy!

I have said it before, but single parents have my complete and utter admiration. The boys were really good, and the week went well, but it is still exhausting. I don’t think three people were ever as happy to see Joe, than when he got home on Friday evening.

On Saturday, we decided to take it easy and relax. We slept in, and then just lounged around and played with the boys. In the afternoon, we decided to clean the Jeep out. The boys played in the buckets of water, and had a great old time getting soaked. It is nice to have a clean and organized car- inside and out.

That night we picked up a pizza, and went to Joe’s parents house to watch baseball playoffs. Ryan also “performed” his Music Man routine, but he is a bit shy around other people and danced around more than he sang, but he was still cute!

Today Joe mowed the lawns, and cleaned up the yard, while Ryan and Cole “helped” and played outside. When they came in for lunch, their feet were covered in grass, and Cole, who had taken his Crocs off, had green feet! He looked like a little Frankenstein. I should have taken a picture, but didn’t think of it in time. I had to soak his feet for several minutes and then scrub them with a nail brush to get them clean.

I went grocery shopping, and then we went out for dinner at the boys’ favorite noodle restaurant. It was a nice, low-keyed weekend.

Tomorrow I have a conference call in the morning for work, and then my sister and my niece are coming for a visit. My niece just turned six-months, and that is my favorite age for babies. I just love that stage. I have pictures of Cole and Ryan at six months, and I just can’t believe how fast the time has gone, when I look back at those pictures. I’m glad I’ll be able to get my baby fix in with my niece.

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Activities Cole Family & Friends Household Mothering Ryan School Work

Odds and Ends

I have left a few open-ended posts and events “out there” the last few weeks, so here is a wrap up, on all those issues.

For our fifth year anniversary, Joe and I both had such a busy week; it kind of snuck up on us. We realized we didn’t have a babysitter. My dad tried to rearrange his work schedule so he could baby sit at the last minute for us, but it didn’t work out. So we took the kids to the mall, where they got to play in the play area and at Pottery Barn Kids. Then we got pizza at California Pizza Kitchen.

So we had a nice night- it was kind of special to think back five years ago we were at our wedding and now we were sharing our special day with the two lil’ monkey’s we love the most- our little boys. 🙂 Ryan was interested in the wedding pictures I was putting on the blog, so I got to talk to him about our wedding.

We also passed a Crocs vendor in the mall, which had every size Crocs in every color imaginable. Cole loves trying on and walking around in Ryan’s Crocs, so we couldn’t resist any longer and picked him up his own pair in Peacock Blue- here is a picture of him the next day with his first pair of Crocs.

We also got the window repaired on my car. Our mechanic is wonderful, and we have had some issues in the past, where I bought the car in when something wasn’t working and they have fixed it for free! One time a vacuum hose was broken and the air conditioning was only blowing out of the defrost vent. So I knew a broken window regulator was going to cost, but it was almost $500 after parts and labor. Ouch. I feel like the mechanic is honest though, and I am sure we would have been charged at least this much, if not more anyplace else. Also, since they have fixed things free for us before, of course I wanted to give them the business. What are you going to do? I need a window, and the duct tape and hanger was giving out, after my drive to work. 🙂

Speaking of work, I absolutely love, love it. I love the work- stimulating, but not over my head, with variety. The other day while I was working, I thought how quiet it was in the office, and realized how much I was getting done, in a short amount of time. It never is like that at home. I can’t work on any project more than five minutes without a little voice asking me for something, or another little voice crying or making noises at me to get my attention. So it has been lovely. I am hoping I can start to work another half day for a few weeks in order to speed the training and learning curve along, so I’ll be able to work independently on Saturday’s. Since no one else would be in the office that day, I’d have to be up to speed. I am looking into some short-term childcare options.

Ryan adores his preschool. I think Auntie Mara left a comment where she wondered how long it would be before Ryan wanted to go two days. Well, it was exactly one time! He asks all the time now when he gets to go to school. This school runs in quarters, so after three months in November, we will have the option of continuing, and I am sure we will be adding another day- much to Ryan’s delight. He also has fun playing with two of his friends, both boys, who are right around his age. He said his friend, Leif, and him last week, pretended a train was a roller coaster. I am glad he is making friends and learning how to play with other kids his age.

Last week they took a “field trip” off the farm to an actual field (corn to be exact), where they picked an ear of corn, and then took it back to the farm and painted it. Ryan was so proud of it, and now it is displayed on our fireplace mantle. He also told me he got to walk in the mud! Ah-the life of a three-year-old boy!

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know how we have struggled with getting Cole to sleep. About a month ago, we finally moved his crib out of our room and into Ryan’s room. Finally, he is sleeping so much better! I nurse him to sleep (around 8:30), and now instead of waking up every two to three hours, he’ll only usually wake up once now. Usually around 1am, sometimes 3am. Last week he was teething, so he woke up a few more times, but I nurse him for about 10 minutes, and he goes right back to sleep. I feel like a new woman, actually getting 5-7 hours of sleep now in a stretch instead of two.

I just had to share the picture below. It is good to keep your baby rear facing in their car seat as long as possible, even if they are over a year old and over 20 pounds, both of which Cole is. He finally outgrew sitting rear facing, so a few weeks ago, Joe turned his car seat around, and so he is forward facing now. He found these sunglasses while Joe was fitting the seat, and just had to wear them.

He really likes sitting forward facing. He takes his Crocs off, and rolls the window down with his toes. He thinks that is the coolest thing ever. He is just the sweetest little guy right now. He smiles almost the entire day, and he has developed dimples. Good thing he can’t talk, because if he asked me for anything with that smile, I know I wouldn’t be able to resist.

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Five Years Ago Today

Five years ago today, Joe and I were married. All of my wedding pictures are in storage right now, so I took a picture of the two pictures we have in the house of our wedding. Interestingly, the photographer told us our wedding was the last wedding he was shooting with traditional 35mm film- after our wedding he was upgrading to digital. I remember thinking that sounded so technologically advanced, and never thought I would have a digital camera- how things can change in only five years.

Yes, how things can change in five years. Looking back at our wedding day, it almost seems like it was another lifetime ago! At times it seems like that our lives five years ago was the “calm before the storm,” and the “storm” being the wonderful two children we are blessed to have. Some of the obvious big differences between our lives in September 2002 and September 2007-

2002: I was a compulsive neat freak.

2007: Now if there is a teeny, tiny path, through my house, which I can walk through without stepping on a toy, I think my house is clean enough.

2002: Three loads of laundry a week was a lot.

2007: If I don’t have three loads of laundry a day, it has been a “light” day- (no one threw up, or covered themselves in jelly, dirt, mud, etc.)

2002: I thought tired meant not getting 8 hours of sleep. I actually have a degree in floral design (a new fact about me!), and I did the flowers for our wedding. I stayed up until 4am the Thursday night into Friday morning doing them. I got up around 9 or 10 the next morning- the day before the wedding, and I was just dragging all day.

2007: Getting five or six hours of sleep at a time is a GOOD, FULL night of sleep. I don’t plan on getting 8 hours of sleep in a row until the boys move out.

2002: Joe and I go out every weekend- usually starting around 8pm on Friday night for dinner, and a movie. Who cares if it was the late movie? We could sleep in as late as we wanted on Saturday.

2007: At 8pm Joe is usually giving the boys a bath, while I am doing the bedtime prep for Ryan and Cole. We have eaten hours ago; in fact when we go out to dinner now, we are usually eating with the senior citizens at the early bird special, because our kids like their dinner at 5.

Sleeping in on Saturday means 7am IF Ryan decides to sleep that late. Otherwise he wakes us up at 6:30, telling Dad especially he needs to get up and make him waffles.

2002: Joe and I had time for dates and quiet dinners at our favorite restaurants, sometimes with family and or friends.

2007: A date now is dinner with the kids at Noodles, and the only time we see friends is if I run into another Mom I know at Noodles, while she is trying to juggle her kids and food! Quiet dinner- yea right! I guess if neither boy is talking, screaming, laughing, crying, or banging their silverware against the table for more than 10 seconds that would count.

2002: I thought my life was complete- children would only add to it.

2007: My children are my life- I could not have imagined how much I love them- not only do they add so much each and every day, they are the best of Joe and I.

2002: I didn’t think I could love my husband more than on our wedding day.

2007: I love my husband more than on our wedding day. He is the best father I could have hoped and dreamed of for my children. I never considered my love would grow for him, when he became a father.

2002: I thought I was so fortunate to be marrying Joe, who I loved with all my heart. I thought I was pretty lucky!

2007: I am so fortunate to be married to a man, who I still love. Even when we are stressed, sleep deprived, and argue, we always manage to make-up, and get back to where we are “okay.”

Happy Anniversary!

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Am I Lucky?

WARNING

The post below is what it took for us to have me be a stay-at-home-mom. I know that isn’t everyone’s choice or circumstances. I am not judging anyone for their choices in this post- but it is my frank and honest thoughts, and experiences. I wanted to “warn” anyone who may have torn feelings about not being able to stay-at-home, what this post is about. I have listed some benefits, and observations on staying home that have been true for us. I don’t want to accidentally make anyone feel bad if they read this post, not knowing what it is about. If you are still interested in reading the post, please continue below. Thank you.

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We had a lot of family events this summer, where I constantly heard, “You are so lucky,” in response to the question you always get asked at parties: “What do you do?” Of course my answer was, “I’m a stay-at-home-mom.”

The first few times I heard “You are so lucky,” I nodded my head and agreed. However, once I kept hearing it over and over, I started to wonder, was I really lucky, and how do you define luck? Webster’s defines luck, lucky, and so forth as: 1: having good luck, 2: happening by chance, 3: producing or resulting in good by chance. It also says lucky stresses the agency of chance in bringing about a favorable result.

After reading these definitions, I decided that I am not lucky because I am a stay-at-home-mom. I know these people were just trying to be nice and make conversation, but the more I heard “You are so lucky,” the more annoyed I became. Obviously, luck is random. It is not something that you can plan for, and it usually just happens.

That is the total opposite of what and how Joe and I planned for our lives as parents. When we were dating, we both agreed wholeheartedly that we did not want to leave our children in daycare. We know some people don’t have an option, but at that point in time we did. That was a very important priority for us, so we planned our lives around this belief.

We didn’t spend beyond our means. We didn’t take elaborate vacations, building up debt. We both worked full-time jobs and tried to save as much as we could. We didn’t go out and buy every new electronic gadget that came out. We never charged anything that we couldn’t pay off that month. Both of our cars were older; I finally got a new car a few months after we found out I was pregnant with Ryan. We bought a year old used car, and my previous car by that time was 11 years old and had over 150k miles on it.

Joe worked his way through college after high school, lived at home, and he worked full-time. I wasn’t fortunate to go to college after high school, and didn’t start attending college until I was 25. I paid as I went, never taking out one student loan, because I didn’t want the obligation of being in debt for years. It took me 4 years of working full-time and attending school at night to complete an Associate’s degree, and I finished that when I was 8.5 months pregnant with Ryan. Not the educational path most choose to take. I do hope to complete my Bachelor’s degree one day, but in the meantime I have no student loans I have to pay back.

When Ryan was born, I was able to take four months off, and return to my job part-time. Joe’s schedule allowed him to be home when I went to work, so Joe watched Ryan when I was at work. In February 2005, my job ended when the company I worked for was sold. Thus, I entered into being a full time stay-at-home-mom. Did that all happen by chance? Was it just pure luck that I found myself unemployed, and didn’t need to rush right out and find another job, so we could make ends meet? Well no, frankly, Joe and I planned for this moment, and we lived our lives for six years, being able to achieve that plan.

As almost any family living on one income knows, it is hard. You have to be careful and watch your nickels and dimes. Not to say that Joe and I don’t spend money, because we do- we are planning on buying a new house in the near future, but for day-to-day, we watch what we spend it on, and try not to get sucked into the media’s version of what they tell us we need to be happy. We don’t need a new car every few years. We don’t need an iPod, or an iPhone. Yes, I would love new gadgets, but making those little choices on how to spend money today, allows us to keep the lifestyle that we value tomorrow.

So, when I hear, “You are lucky,” it bugs me. We are not lucky, but self-disciplined, and have made sacrifices so we can afford to have me stay at home. It was hard for me to give up Starbucks whenever I had the whim, getting my hair highlighted and cut every six weeks in a cushy salon. It was hard not buying new clothes, when I wouldn’t have thought twice about it when I was working (I like to shop), and new things for the house, when I stopped working, and we no longer had a dual income. It is hard when we have to shell out money for unexpected expenses that we haven’t planned on. It means we have to watch our money that much closer.

However, being at home and being with my babies right now, while they are young is priceless. No house, car, gadget, or vacation, can compare with knowing that we are doing what we feel is best for our children, which is my being home with them. My friend, Amy, wrote once on her blog something to the effect that she may have lots of regrets in her life, but she knows that choosing to stay home with her children will not be one of them. I echo that. Money, and material things only go so far. If I give up this precious time with my children to work full-time, I know one day, when they are grown up and gone, I will wonder what it would have been like to be at home with them, for this short window of time. I know I will regret it.

So I am not lucky that Joe and I planned and worked hard so that I could be a stay-at-home mother. However, I am fortunate, blessed, and thankful, that Joe and I had the foresight to realize years before we had children, that we wanted them to be at home with one of us. Not everyone realizes that, and when they do, they may not be able to work out circumstances to stay at home.

Having said all of this, I am lucky there are so many choices for stay at home mothers today. I am extremely fortunate that a very part-time job found me. Today, I go back to work one day a week, at an accounting firm. At some point it may work out where I can work a half-day as well on Saturday, and Joe will be able to watch the boys. Because of my wonderful in-laws who will be watching the boys, I was able to accept this opportunity that will allow me to keep my skills current, and to keep my foot in the door in my industry.

Joe and I talked about it a lot, and we feel because his parents are watching the boys, it was too good of an opportunity to pass on. The boys will still be with family, and we know they will still have the environment that we wanted for them. I get to have some hours every week where I am using what I already know, and learning more for my career. If and when we decide the time is right for me to increase the amount I work, like when the boys are in school, this firm has already told me I can do that. Ryan and Cole get to spend a full day every week with their grandparents, who they absolutely adore- who really are like second parents to them. I could not have asked for more. Now that is being lucky!

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We Are All Sick Now

Thanks for all the kind comments, and just to update- Ryan was sick today, Cole seemed better but still had some very runny, messy, diapers that leaked out all over the kitchen floor (oh joy)- Ryan started puking at 5 am, and again at 4:30 pm, right AFTER I had just finally got the room cleaned up from his first round- had to wash everything and start all over again.

Joe said he is feeling sick, and I have been sick twice now myself. I still feel awful and feel like I am going to be sick again- it actually helps sitting up- when I lie down it is worse- what kind of ‘sick’ (pardon the pun) irony is that? I am so bone dead tired, but can’t lie down, or I feel worse-

Anyway, this does seem to only last a day, so hopefully Ryan will be feeling better tomorrow, Cole will be over it, and by tomorrow night, I’ll be over it too. What a terrible couple of days!

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