Category: Cole

Happy Grandparent’s Day!

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

Today is Grandparent’s Day, so I wanted to devote a post to grandparents!

First off, even though I didn’t know my only grandmother, Mimi, when I was growing up, we have gotten acquainted over the years, and she is terrific! She is so smart, loves to read, and lets all of her family descend on her beautiful beach house every summer. She lovingly provides a place, where all of us stressed out, sleep deprived, visitors can come each year to relax, just be, and take a step back.

After having five of her own children, eleven grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren, there isn’t anything she doesn’t know about babies. She helped put a piece of the puzzle together for me on Cole’s constant waking at night this summer- she told me he was hungry and I needed to give him a protein snack before bed, and don’t forget to do it! I usually did forget, but have been remembering and he DOES sleep so much better now. Sometimes it is just the simple things grandparents can remind us of that make all the difference. So thank you, Mimi, for everything you do for ALL of us. We love you!

I also didn’t know my only grandpa growing up. He has taken more and more trips out to our state to visit, and we have gotten to know him better as well. He is wickedly funny, and witty. I am so glad that I have these memories of him, and he has been able to at least meet his oldest great-grand son!

Second, I can’t thank Ryan and Cole’s grandparents enough- all five of them, for the incredible love, help, and support they give to our entire family. I honestly don’t know how we would have made it this far without their help.

It seems like just when Joe and I, are at the end of our ropes, whoo-la- a grandparent calls and offers to have Ryan over for the day (Joe’s parents), or offers to come up and baby-sit for a few hours (my dad and step-mom), or stops by for a short visit, playing with the boys for half an hour, to give me a break (my dad), or listens to me rant and rave, and vent (my mom) never judging me, but giving me practical and loving advice, so I can keep going.

In those early days after having Cole, who demanded I was with him at all times, the grandparents were lifesavers, in helping me with Ryan, so he still felt special, and also helping me with Cole- holding him, so I could take a shower, or just get a break.

Whenever my well is dry, these incredible people are waiting in the wings to help re-nourish my supply. I gain a lot of comfort in knowing we have such a wonderful support system, but at the same time, allowing me to find my path as a mother.

I am not naïve to think I am a great mother, or even a good mother- I am just trying to do the best I can, but any good things I do as a mother is because of the love, and extra support my mother, Joe’s parents, and my parents offer to me. I would not be half the mother I try to be without their love, support, and guidance.

Becoming a mother involves so many changes and unexpected twists and turns. I didn’t grow up with grandparents, so I didn’t understand that special relationship-not only between the grandparents and grandchildren, but a new dimension to my relationships with my parents and in-laws. I never expected to need or have these relationships- and now I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

My boys love their grandparents so much, who light up every time they are around you. They have a special sparkle in their eyes that they have only for you, which I hope one day I’ll be able to see in my grandchildren’s eyes as well.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Grandparents, for everything you do for us every day. It means more than you could possibly ever know. I love all of you!

Here are some special quotes regarding grandparents that I like. The quote at the top of this post by Alex Haley, is my favorite. Happy Grandparents Day to all!

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. ~Christopher Morley

Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~Dave Barry

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do. ~Lois Wyse

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet. ~Gene Perret

It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS. ~Gene Perret

If your baby is “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby

No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet. ~Author Unknown

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. ~Erma Bombeck

Cole Family & Friends Household Me Mothering Parenting Ryan

Five Years Ago Today

Five years ago today, Joe and I were married. All of my wedding pictures are in storage right now, so I took a picture of the two pictures we have in the house of our wedding. Interestingly, the photographer told us our wedding was the last wedding he was shooting with traditional 35mm film- after our wedding he was upgrading to digital. I remember thinking that sounded so technologically advanced, and never thought I would have a digital camera- how things can change in only five years.

Yes, how things can change in five years. Looking back at our wedding day, it almost seems like it was another lifetime ago! At times it seems like that our lives five years ago was the “calm before the storm,” and the “storm” being the wonderful two children we are blessed to have. Some of the obvious big differences between our lives in September 2002 and September 2007-

2002: I was a compulsive neat freak.

2007: Now if there is a teeny, tiny path, through my house, which I can walk through without stepping on a toy, I think my house is clean enough.

2002: Three loads of laundry a week was a lot.

2007: If I don’t have three loads of laundry a day, it has been a “light” day- (no one threw up, or covered themselves in jelly, dirt, mud, etc.)

2002: I thought tired meant not getting 8 hours of sleep. I actually have a degree in floral design (a new fact about me!), and I did the flowers for our wedding. I stayed up until 4am the Thursday night into Friday morning doing them. I got up around 9 or 10 the next morning- the day before the wedding, and I was just dragging all day.

2007: Getting five or six hours of sleep at a time is a GOOD, FULL night of sleep. I don’t plan on getting 8 hours of sleep in a row until the boys move out.

2002: Joe and I go out every weekend- usually starting around 8pm on Friday night for dinner, and a movie. Who cares if it was the late movie? We could sleep in as late as we wanted on Saturday.

2007: At 8pm Joe is usually giving the boys a bath, while I am doing the bedtime prep for Ryan and Cole. We have eaten hours ago; in fact when we go out to dinner now, we are usually eating with the senior citizens at the early bird special, because our kids like their dinner at 5.

Sleeping in on Saturday means 7am IF Ryan decides to sleep that late. Otherwise he wakes us up at 6:30, telling Dad especially he needs to get up and make him waffles.

2002: Joe and I had time for dates and quiet dinners at our favorite restaurants, sometimes with family and or friends.

2007: A date now is dinner with the kids at Noodles, and the only time we see friends is if I run into another Mom I know at Noodles, while she is trying to juggle her kids and food! Quiet dinner- yea right! I guess if neither boy is talking, screaming, laughing, crying, or banging their silverware against the table for more than 10 seconds that would count.

2002: I thought my life was complete- children would only add to it.

2007: My children are my life- I could not have imagined how much I love them- not only do they add so much each and every day, they are the best of Joe and I.

2002: I didn’t think I could love my husband more than on our wedding day.

2007: I love my husband more than on our wedding day. He is the best father I could have hoped and dreamed of for my children. I never considered my love would grow for him, when he became a father.

2002: I thought I was so fortunate to be marrying Joe, who I loved with all my heart. I thought I was pretty lucky!

2007: I am so fortunate to be married to a man, who I still love. Even when we are stressed, sleep deprived, and argue, we always manage to make-up, and get back to where we are “okay.”

Happy Anniversary!

Activities Cole Little Pumpkin Sweet Pea Designs Ryan School Work

Our Week of “Firsts”

We have had three big “firsts” around here this week.

The first, first was Ryan’s first day of preschool on Tuesday. He woke up early with Joe, and when I got downstairs to him, I told him today was the day he got to go to school! He smiled and said, “Oh yes, and I’m ready to go!” How’s that for enthusiasm? Here is a picture of him ready to go, right before we left. (He loves his blue lunch box- and he is smiling not crying) 🙂

He was very excited as I dropped him off. We were pleased to find out that another little friend that he has in his music class, was also in Ryan’s class. As the parents were leaving, Ryan realized that I would be leaving too. I asked him if he was ready for me to leave, and he said yes.

Then he got his little stressed out look on his face, and came up to me, and gave me a long hug. I knew my little guy was trying so hard to be a big boy! I asked him again if he was ready for me to leave. He nodded again, and said yes. So Cole and I left. Surprisingly, I was fine- I know he was going to have fun, and be well taken care of.

Cole and I ran errands, and had a productive morning. We picked Ryan up at 12:30, and his class was eating lunch outside. Ryan saw me and said, “Hi Mom! We’re just eating some lunch here!” I asked him if he had fun and he said, “Yes, and I didn’t even cry!” That got a laugh from his teachers. As we were leaving, Ryan gave one of his teachers a hug, so I figured he bonded well with her.

It was kind of weird driving home, and asking Ryan what he did. For the first time in his life, I do not know what he did for a large period of time, and have to rely on his version of what he did. He told me the teachers played a game with him, and he got to play in the sandbox. He also made a name tag with farm stickers on the front, and his hand-print, with the date of his first day of school on the back. Here is a picture of his first art project from school:

Later in the day, he started citing a rhyme that I have never heard before. He told me he learned it at preschool. He also started walking like a duck, which he has never done before, so it will be interesting to see these next few weeks what new and exciting things he does. I have to say, that his first day, couldn’t have gone better. He wants to go back next week. Yea!

Our second first, was my baby, got his first haircut! I have been hesitant to cut it, because for some reason, it seems like once he gets his first haircut, that will make him into a little boy, not a baby anymore. I also love the fact that he had curls in the back of his head. He looked so cute.

Tuesday morning though, his hair was matted and it was hard to comb through, even though his hair had just been washed last night. Plus, there was hair in his ears. It was just getting to dang long. He was starting to look like a little dog that needed to be groomed, instead of a cute baby boy. 🙂 So here are the “before” pictures I took of his hair Tuesday morning: (the little cut on his chin, is the result of a fall on the cement last night at the park)

After Joe got home from work, we took him to get his first haircut:

He fussed and had a few tears, but no major screaming fest (unlike his older brother, who until recently, would rather give up Mac & Cheese -his favorite food-, then have his hair cut). It went well, and his stylist even gave some of his locks in an envelope. Here is the finished result!

I am very happy with how his hair turned out: he still looks somewhat like a baby (to me, anyway,) and the stylist kept some curl in the back. I tried to get a picture of the back of his head, but he would not cooperate!

Now for my shameless plug: if you like Cole’s shirt that he is wearing in the “after” pictures, it says, “What Happens At Grandma’s Stays At Grandma’s,” it is available in my on-line store, Little Pumpkin Sweet Pea Designs.

Cole even let Ryan play barber last night and comb his hair in the tub, and as it was drying. Ryan was combing it, and pretending to cut it. Cole was laughing, so maybe he’ll actually like getting his hair cut. I can hope at least!

Finally, the third first, is I started my first day at my new job on Wednesday. As I wrote in a previous post, I was offered a part time job, one day a week for now. It is at an accounting firm and I am doing bookkeeping and business management.

My first day went great, after I got over my nerves. It has been almost seven years since I started a “formal” job! The owner is really nice, and I will be working directly with her. I think I am really going to learn a lot from her. The other women in the office were really nice and helpful as well, and I know I’ll enjoy working there a lot.

Joe’s parents have graciously offered to watch Ryan and and Cole, while I am at work, and Grandma said everything went well there too. She said Cole only cried once, when she was trying to get him to sleep. When I arrived to pick them up, Cole smiled at me from the door, and then turned around to go back and play!

This was the longest we have ever been away from each other since he was born, and he just trotted off, like he had important things to get to. I nursed him for a few minutes, and then he slid off my lap, and immediately went back to sit on Grandma’s lap. I guess my ‘baby’ is becoming a little boy. I am very happy though, he did so well, had fun, and obviously bonded with Grandma. 🙂

Today, Ryan said he wanted to go back to Grandma’s “all day,” so he enjoyed himself too.

All and all, our “firsts” involved change and some nerves, but we all got through them, and are looking forward as these new changes, mesh into our lives in the upcoming months.

Cole Family & Friends Household Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth Ryan Work

Am I Lucky?

WARNING

The post below is what it took for us to have me be a stay-at-home-mom. I know that isn’t everyone’s choice or circumstances. I am not judging anyone for their choices in this post- but it is my frank and honest thoughts, and experiences. I wanted to “warn” anyone who may have torn feelings about not being able to stay-at-home, what this post is about. I have listed some benefits, and observations on staying home that have been true for us. I don’t want to accidentally make anyone feel bad if they read this post, not knowing what it is about. If you are still interested in reading the post, please continue below. Thank you.

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We had a lot of family events this summer, where I constantly heard, “You are so lucky,” in response to the question you always get asked at parties: “What do you do?” Of course my answer was, “I’m a stay-at-home-mom.”

The first few times I heard “You are so lucky,” I nodded my head and agreed. However, once I kept hearing it over and over, I started to wonder, was I really lucky, and how do you define luck? Webster’s defines luck, lucky, and so forth as: 1: having good luck, 2: happening by chance, 3: producing or resulting in good by chance. It also says lucky stresses the agency of chance in bringing about a favorable result.

After reading these definitions, I decided that I am not lucky because I am a stay-at-home-mom. I know these people were just trying to be nice and make conversation, but the more I heard “You are so lucky,” the more annoyed I became. Obviously, luck is random. It is not something that you can plan for, and it usually just happens.

That is the total opposite of what and how Joe and I planned for our lives as parents. When we were dating, we both agreed wholeheartedly that we did not want to leave our children in daycare. We know some people don’t have an option, but at that point in time we did. That was a very important priority for us, so we planned our lives around this belief.

We didn’t spend beyond our means. We didn’t take elaborate vacations, building up debt. We both worked full-time jobs and tried to save as much as we could. We didn’t go out and buy every new electronic gadget that came out. We never charged anything that we couldn’t pay off that month. Both of our cars were older; I finally got a new car a few months after we found out I was pregnant with Ryan. We bought a year old used car, and my previous car by that time was 11 years old and had over 150k miles on it.

Joe worked his way through college after high school, lived at home, and he worked full-time. I wasn’t fortunate to go to college after high school, and didn’t start attending college until I was 25. I paid as I went, never taking out one student loan, because I didn’t want the obligation of being in debt for years. It took me 4 years of working full-time and attending school at night to complete an Associate’s degree, and I finished that when I was 8.5 months pregnant with Ryan. Not the educational path most choose to take. I do hope to complete my Bachelor’s degree one day, but in the meantime I have no student loans I have to pay back.

When Ryan was born, I was able to take four months off, and return to my job part-time. Joe’s schedule allowed him to be home when I went to work, so Joe watched Ryan when I was at work. In February 2005, my job ended when the company I worked for was sold. Thus, I entered into being a full time stay-at-home-mom. Did that all happen by chance? Was it just pure luck that I found myself unemployed, and didn’t need to rush right out and find another job, so we could make ends meet? Well no, frankly, Joe and I planned for this moment, and we lived our lives for six years, being able to achieve that plan.

As almost any family living on one income knows, it is hard. You have to be careful and watch your nickels and dimes. Not to say that Joe and I don’t spend money, because we do- we are planning on buying a new house in the near future, but for day-to-day, we watch what we spend it on, and try not to get sucked into the media’s version of what they tell us we need to be happy. We don’t need a new car every few years. We don’t need an iPod, or an iPhone. Yes, I would love new gadgets, but making those little choices on how to spend money today, allows us to keep the lifestyle that we value tomorrow.

So, when I hear, “You are lucky,” it bugs me. We are not lucky, but self-disciplined, and have made sacrifices so we can afford to have me stay at home. It was hard for me to give up Starbucks whenever I had the whim, getting my hair highlighted and cut every six weeks in a cushy salon. It was hard not buying new clothes, when I wouldn’t have thought twice about it when I was working (I like to shop), and new things for the house, when I stopped working, and we no longer had a dual income. It is hard when we have to shell out money for unexpected expenses that we haven’t planned on. It means we have to watch our money that much closer.

However, being at home and being with my babies right now, while they are young is priceless. No house, car, gadget, or vacation, can compare with knowing that we are doing what we feel is best for our children, which is my being home with them. My friend, Amy, wrote once on her blog something to the effect that she may have lots of regrets in her life, but she knows that choosing to stay home with her children will not be one of them. I echo that. Money, and material things only go so far. If I give up this precious time with my children to work full-time, I know one day, when they are grown up and gone, I will wonder what it would have been like to be at home with them, for this short window of time. I know I will regret it.

So I am not lucky that Joe and I planned and worked hard so that I could be a stay-at-home mother. However, I am fortunate, blessed, and thankful, that Joe and I had the foresight to realize years before we had children, that we wanted them to be at home with one of us. Not everyone realizes that, and when they do, they may not be able to work out circumstances to stay at home.

Having said all of this, I am lucky there are so many choices for stay at home mothers today. I am extremely fortunate that a very part-time job found me. Today, I go back to work one day a week, at an accounting firm. At some point it may work out where I can work a half-day as well on Saturday, and Joe will be able to watch the boys. Because of my wonderful in-laws who will be watching the boys, I was able to accept this opportunity that will allow me to keep my skills current, and to keep my foot in the door in my industry.

Joe and I talked about it a lot, and we feel because his parents are watching the boys, it was too good of an opportunity to pass on. The boys will still be with family, and we know they will still have the environment that we wanted for them. I get to have some hours every week where I am using what I already know, and learning more for my career. If and when we decide the time is right for me to increase the amount I work, like when the boys are in school, this firm has already told me I can do that. Ryan and Cole get to spend a full day every week with their grandparents, who they absolutely adore- who really are like second parents to them. I could not have asked for more. Now that is being lucky!

Activities Cole Family & Friends Me Parenting Ryan

Social Weekend

On Friday night, I met up with my very good friend, Mary, We used to work together, and now she is an RN and lives about 40 miles away. I wish we could say we are great staying in touch, but we are both so busy, we don’t get together as often as we like, but when we do, it is like we pick right up from where we left off, from the last time we talked. I have two sisters, but Mary feels like my “third” sister.

We met for dinner at a delicious Italian restaurant- we sat outside on the patio and it was just a lovely evening. At one point the wind started up, and it looked like it was going to rain, and there was no room inside the restaurant for us to be reseated, but it never did rain. We got to visit for about three hours, and when I arrived home, just past the boys’ bedtime, I expected to find Joe trying to put one or both boys to sleep. Instead, he was watching TV, and there were no little boys in sight. He got them both down, and they were soundfully sleeping.

On Saturday night, my dad and step-mom generously treated my sister, my two teen-age cousins, and myself to a musical-The Little Mermaid, produced by Disney (of course) and it was wonderful!

I really didn’t expect too much, but it had everything-good story, exceptional singing- wonderful characters, excellent music, awesome dancing (there is even a tap dance number in it- I love tap dancing, and it doesn’t seem like you see very much of it any more), and very touching song lyrics and dialogue. This was different from The Little Mermaid movie, allthough they “borrowed” parts from the movie. There was a lot of added dialogue that frankly made it more “adult” and less for kids. There was a scene at the end, where Ariel’s father, King Titian, talks about loving your children and how you love them so much you can’t let them go, but because you do love them, you have to let them go. It was so moving- there wasn’t a dry eye in the place, especially among the parents!

Of course they had all of classic songs from the movie, like “Under the Sea,” and “Kiss the Girl.” Another cool aspect was there was not a drop of water on the set, and the actors were not on lines, trying to make them look like they were swimming- they used the Healey shoes- to roller blade across the stage, to mimic the swimming, and it worked! It was very creative.

It was so entertaining, and there was something for everyone. It was a wonderful night!

When I was getting ready to leave, Ryan gave me the once-over and asked me, “Where are you going dressed like that?” As I was walking out the door, I called goodbye to him. He was in the kitchen with Joe, and he called back, “Okay, good-bye, have fun, and be careful.” Sometimes I think he is 3.5 going on 30!

I got home rather late, and of course Joe had the boys bathed, and sleeping once again. Should I have expected any less? He was terrific with them, and it was very nice to actually go out for two whole nights kid free. I’m very fortunate Joe is such a terrific father and hubby.

Today we went back to the same town to visit Joe’s brother and help him with some household projects. The boys did great visiting their uncle and playing with their two doggies. They were asleep in the car five minutes after we left. They briefly woke up when we got home, but they both fell back asleep within minutes.

Joe has to work tomorrow, and I have to go grocery shopping and get things ready for the week. We had a very nice weekend, and I hope everyone has a great Labor Day tomorrow. Here are two pictures from last night:

Me with my niece, Maelin, who is five months old.

(L to R) Maelin, Me, My sister, & My sister-in-law. We all three ended up wearing black (and very dark navy) lacy outfits, but did not plan this. I guess we were all on the same wave length! 🙂

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

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WARNING