Category: Cole

When it Rains it Pours

I usually try not to complain or whine on my blog too much, but I just have to, tonight. It has been the worse week for me- it has gone from bad to worse, what seems like every hour. Just when I think nothing else bad can happen- it does. Here is a recap:

Monday: Joe has to go out of town for the entire week. I used to not mind it so much, but whenever he goes out of town, one of the boys ALWAYS ends up sick. It is hard enough to “single” parent, without having a sick child on top of it. Sure enough, Sunday night, a lymph node is really swollen on Cole, and I just get a bad feeling. By Monday afternoon, his nose is running non-stop and he has a fever. I can’t tell for sure if he is really has a cold, or if the symptoms are due to teething. Either way, he is fussy and uncomfortable.

It had snowed as well. Not a lot, but enough for me to have to go out in 10 degree weather to shovel our sidewalks, and tenant’s porch. Oh yeah, we live on a corner lot, so this is not a fast project. I am freezing by the time I get back in, and Cole had awoken from his nap- an hour early, and was screaming!

Meanwhile, I get an e-mail from my boss, telling me my project isn’t due in two weeks, but is due in two days! Evidently the message didn’t conveyed to her correctly. The client has to have their budget reports to submit to the state by Wednesday. I figured it would be hard, but I could get it done in the next two nights, after the boys were asleep. I start working like crazy , but Cole has other ideas for me. He was waking up every 20 minutes or so, groaning, and whining. I would work for ten minutes, and then go to Cole for half an hour, to get him back to sleep.

By midnight, I had completed the bulk of the work, and the very, very, very, time consuming part of the budget. Not to mention the draft I had, the figures had been scanned in, and were not formatting right. So on top of doing the work, I had to recreate everything into Excel, and then export it back into the Word document. I figured I was at a good stopping point, and could finish the rest Tuesday night. Then, out of the blue, I get a pop-up message, asking me if I want to save my document as a read-only copy. Of course, I said no. Then the screen flutters, and kicks me out of Word. Weird, I think. I go back into Word, open my document and notice ALL of the work I had just done, was not there. I run a search-it only brings up my copy of the document I had the day before. All of my work- 3 hours is GONE.

I just started crying, right then and there. I had been saving the document every 10 minutes, but only to the work server, I was working off of. I have NEVER had anything like this happen before, and it just sucks. The only good news was, I figured I would be able to re-do the work fairly quickly, since I was familiar with the budget at this point, and knew where to get my numbers. At 2:30am, I had re-created all the work. Cole had managed to sleep during this time, so things were looking up.

At 4am, Cole woke up, stuffy and crying. He never did go back to sleep- only tossed and turned, and dozed with me. Of course, the second I wasn’t holding him right, or the second he wasn’t comfortable, he started screaming. I got one hour of sleep.

Tuesday: I take Ryan to preschool, but we are late; I had sent my boss an e-mail telling her what was happening, and she called me the moment we were walking out the door to discuss the project. After dropping Ryan off, 15 minutes late, Cole and I run errands, that we had to do. He is in a pretty good mood, but I realize he is more than likely coming down with a cold, and he is teething on top of that.

After we pick up Ryan from school, I am just praying they will both take long naps, so I could keep working on my project. Both boys usually take 2 hour naps. Not today- Ryan didn’t take one at all, and after an hour, Cole woke up, with his eyes “glued” shut by gunk that was coming out of them. I thought he might have pink-eye, but after soaking his eyes with warm washcloths, they cleared up. But his nose was still runny, and he had a fever. He was sick for sure.

Surprisingly, Cole slept well that night, and I was able to finish my project by midnight, with no more computer problems. I figured I could still get about 6 hours of sleep, and headed to bed. Cole woke up at 2, and it was a repeat of the previous night. By the time my alarm went off, to get up for work, I had gotten at best, 2 hours of sleep, and I knew it was going to be an intense day.

Wednesday: As I was leaving the boys at their grandparents, Cole realized I was leaving, and started crying. He stuck out his hands, and kept saying, “Mama, Mama,”over and over. It absolutely tugged at my heart. Neither him or Ryan have ever done that before. He needed me, and I was leaving. I felt so bad and guilty. That was all I could think about as I went to work.

After working until 2pm (I have been up for 12 hours now), with no break, we get the budget e-mailed to the client, in time for their meeting. I can’t go into a lot of details, but there were some problems with the previous years’ figures, which affected this year’s numbers, so nothing was computing correctly. Turns out, we had to go back and update the previous two years of budgets, in order to get the 2008 budget right. Of course my boss, the accountant, was doing most of the computing, and I just felt like I failed miserably- that I didn’t even think to look at the previous years’ numbers. I was trying to do the deepest thinking, I think I have ever done, on two hours of sleep, and I all I could think about was Cole crying for me. It was miserable, and I had a splitting headache. My boss said that had been a “brutal” budget.

After I e-mailed the budget to the client, my boss said she was taking me out to lunch. She told me I had done a great job, and she was very appreciative. I was happy to hear that (especially since I was functioning on 2 hours of sleep). When we got back, the client hadn’t called, so we figured no news was good news. Half an hour later, they call and say one of the financial charts, didn’t come through- the figures were distorted, and they can’t read them. That was the one chart that I hadn’t had time to recreate in Excel. So guess what I did for rest of the afternoon? Re-working their charts AGAIN. I was so tired of reading numbers, I was wiped out. But I got it done for them before the end of the day.

My mother-in-law had a nice dinner ready when I got to their house. Cole was in a great mood, but clearly had a cold. As we were eating dinner, Ryan started crying and said his tummy hurt. By bedtime, he was lethargic, and kept saying his tummy hurt.

Meanwhile, I had given Cole a bath- he usually loves his baths, but he started screaming, while he was in the tub, and I mean screaming. This was at 7pm, and he didn’t stop screaming for 3 hours. I was completely exhausted and drained. Nothing, but nothing, would console him. All I could think of, was how much I wanted to go to bed, but couldn’t. I knew if Joe was home, he’d be able to help Cole. I couldn’t do anything for him. He was congested, and had a fever. Even after I had given him some Childrens’ Motrin, it wasn’t helping. I had never seen Coley like that. I think I was so tired, I didn’t even have any energy to react. I stood over his crib, just stroking his back, and telling him it would be OK.

I never thought I would have the stamina to stand over a crib for 3 hours, listening to the worse screaming I have ever heard, having been awake for 20 hours, but I did. Whenever I think I have reached the breaking point, I find out (not by choice) that I bend even farther than I thought. Before becoming a mother, there was no way, I could have pulled off a day like I had just done, and dealt with two sick, small children, by myself at night, with hardly any sleep. I don’t know if that is something women are “programed” for, and it kicks in, when we need it to, or what.

I realized as I was tip-toeing out of Cole’s room, that my sister was arriving into town tomorrow, and I still needed to do some cleaning. I actually did some laundry and cleaned the bathroom. I can let the ~~living room~~ boy’s playroom slide, but I wanted to at least have a clean bathroom for her. Then I realized it was trash day tomorrow, and I lugged out the trash and the recycling. I cleaned up the kitchen, and fall into bed at midnight.

Thursday: Cole wakes up 4am, and once again is restless. We toss and turn. He wants a drink of water, and he pulls my cup away from me, and water gets spilled all over the bed. I get up, with him crying again, and put towels on the sheets. I finally get him to sleep at 5:30. I drift off too, for 45 minutes, before my alarm goes off, for work. I debate on what to do with the boys. I had a meeting today, and some other things going on, where I had to be there. Cole wakes up the second he hears the alarm, and wants breakfast. He doesn’t seem quite as bad, and his nose isn’t running. Ryan wakes up, and says he feels tired, but doesn’t say he feels bad, so I decide to go to work, and take the boys to J, our wonderful childcare provider.

At 9am, J, calls me and says Ryan has a temperature of 101. She asks if she can give him some Motrin, but says he is just resting on the couch, and Cole is running around playing. She doesn’t think I need to leave work. I tell her Ryan can have some Motrin, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.

I run into another accounting problem with one of our clients that I just didn’t have the brain power to deal with. I will have to work on that this weekend. As I was leaving my boss asks if I can finalize the budget for the client’s board meeting next week. Again, they have to have it, but it should be very easy to plug the new charts and figures that we did yesterday back into their master copy. Turns out yesterday, they only needed a few pages for the state, not the entire thing. So of course, I am in this knee deep now, and pretty much have to say yes. More work (not that I’m complaining, but it just seems so daunting right now.)

As I am leaving work, my face feels flushed, and my stomach is hurting. I get the kids and Ryan is in a good mood, and says he feels good, but I am sure it was only because he had the Motrin in his system. Cole is happy, but tired. As I drive home, I start to cry. I know there is no way that I will be able to go get my sister tonight (we were going to go pick her up at the airport at midnight, and she was going to stay with us for a few days. I haven’t really been able to visit with her in a year and a half!)

Even I felt OK, there was no way, I was going to drag Ryan and Cole out of their beds, where I could only hope they would be sleeping from. Furthermore, what would my sister do when she was here? Watch us blow our noses? Listen to poor little Coley, cry because he is so congested? Watch Ryan lie on the couch? I wouldn’t want to expose her to anything either. If the boys have bad nights, I would feel bad for her too, because there would be no sleeping for her- especially if Cole has another screaming night. It is just such a bummer. It never seems like we can see each other, even when she is in the state visiting. I miss her, and wanted so much for her to be able to see the boys as well. If I don’t get sick, I might end up seeing her over the weekend, but who knows if she’ll get to see the boys? Ryan was so excited to see his aunt too. He was sad we weren’t going to go out on our midnight adventure to the airport. He asked me so sweetly if when he feels better, in a few days, could we go get Auntie Vanessa then, from the airport?

So there is my miserable week. I don’t even want to get out of bed tomorrow. It has taken me a long time to write this, because now Ryan isn’t sleeping. He isn’t screaming, but he is waking up every 20 minutes, just whining. He doesn’t have a fever, but obviously doesn’t feel well. I am going to try to take Cole to the Dr. tomorrow. I think he may have a sinus infection. Meanwhile, I will be counting the minutes until Joe comes home, and I can have some relief, or at least a nap.

Activities Cole Household Mothering Ryan

Alzheimer’s of the Mommy Kind

Post author By A Mama's Blog
Post date January 21, 2008
2 Comments on Alzheimer’s of the Mommy Kind

My sister got Cole and Ryan some amazing art supplies for Christmas. Basically, the entire kiddie art section at Target, twice- one of everything for BOTH boys. Ryan has already painted once a few weeks ago, and while I was cleaning and organizing their gifts, I put these supplies (nice, thick, painting paper too) away, where I’d remember where they were (yeah, right). So today, it is only 10 degrees out, and the boys are going stir crazy. This was a perfect time to pull out the art supplies and start painting, coloring, and using the cool glitter pens.

After getting every square inch of the table and floor covered with newspaper, it was time to get the supplies out. But where oh where, did I put them? I found Ryan’s paint box on top of the refrigerator, but where is everything else? You wouldn’t think an entire big box of art supplies, and a giant pad of paper would be so hard to find. What is worse, is I KNOW I saw the pad of paper just a few days ago, when I was putting something else away. But alas, I can’t find them for the life of me, and it is driving me nuts! I have checked every place that I normally stash stuff like that, twice. This is from someone who everyone used to tell (before I had kids) that I had a memory like an elephant. Meanwhile, I have Ryan not whining, but constantly asking, “When can we paint, Mommy?” and Cole getting more and more frustrated as he sees his older brother with his paint, but none for him.

I think it is official- I have Alzheimer’s. Note to self (and any other mommy’s out there, who may be facing the same thing): make sure you find the art supplies, or toys, or books, BEFORE you tell your 4 year-old and 19 month-old that they get to do the activity. It is hard enough not being able to find the item, but at least you won’t have to deal with the disappointment, and the 4 year-old’s round of twenty questions like, “Why can’t you find them Mommy? Where did the paint go? Now what are we going to do? Did you lose them? Are they gone for good? Did someone come in and take them, Mommy?”

Yes, sweetie, someone did- and they took my memory too!

Tags 265, 276

Activities Cole Family & Friends Mothering Ryan Shopping Work

Happy Friday

This has been a busy week, so I am glad it is Friday! We have been having very cold temperatures but fortunately, we were able to get out and go for some nice long walks, before it got too cold. I wanted to go this morning after our music class, but it is just too cold out for Cole.

My in-laws got sick on Wednesday, so I had some last minute shuffling for child care. Our wonderful child care provider J, who the boys go to for the mornings on Thursday, was able to take them for a half day on Wednesday, so I went to work in the morning, and then had the afternoon “off.” I played with the boys, read them lots of stories, and then indulged myself with a 2 hour nap, while the boys took their nap too! It was wonderful. After the boys went to bed, I worked for a few more hours.

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to leave work, my boss asked to speak to me. Without getting in too much detail, her biggest client, and the one who she has had the longest (18 years) needed some help preparing their 2008 budget reports for their board meeting in two weeks. She is absolutely swamped with work, and she asked me if I wanted to take a shot at preparing these budget reports. She explained it to me briefly, and I told her I would try. Fortunately, I can do all the work from home. I wasn’t really sure, if I had bitten off more than I could chew, so last night I reviewed exactly what I was supposed to do. It is fairly complex, but I think and hope I can manage it. Of course, my boss said to let her know if I have any questions, but I am really hoping I can get it done in the coming week. I am really happy and surprised, frankly, she asked me to take this on, since this is her most important client, but it also feels good to have a mental challenge, and be able to put my skills to the test.

Tomorrow we have some dinner plans “in the big city” with my brother and sister-in-law, and my dad and step-mom are going to babysit the boys, while we go. The boys are already super excited. Joe has another busy work week ahead of him, and at the end of next week, my youngest sister, who lives out of state, is coming for a long weekend visit. She will be staying with me for a night, so I am very excited to see her. It has been over a year, since she has been able to stay with me, when she comes to town. I think we will go shopping- we always love to do that. Sisters make the best shopping partners too, because they can be honest and don’t worry about hurting your feelings.

Ryan has just turned into a little chatter-box. He just goes on and on about everything, and he comes up with the funniest things. The other night he told me he was going to go to dinner with some friends, and he’d be back, when he got back. (say, that doesn’t sound like something his mother would say, does it?) When I asked him who his friends are, he just said, that was his business!

He has also learned somehow, somewhere how to pee standing up. Neither Joe nor myself had taught him this, and to tell the truth, I like him sitting down- let’s just say it is less of a clean-up for Mommy. Anyway, when I asked him where he learned to do that, he said, “At my work.” OK then!

Ryan always asks Joe and I how our days at work go. Last week, he was whining and he said he was tired. This was after my work day, and I told him I was tired too, and that I had to sit in a hard chair all day (not really, but my regular chair was broken, and the chair I was using, just wasn’t as comfortable). The next day he was very concerned and asked me if I was tired after work. I told him no, and he said, “Oh good- you didn’t have to sit in the hard chair then?” It is just amazing how much they process.

Cole is blooming into his own little person- very determined, but also very sweet. When something happens that he doesn’t like, he sticks his bottom lip out in a major pout, and then crunches up his forehead, and looks down at the ground. He is saying “mama” a lot, and says “da” for yes. Funny, how he has his own language, and funny too, we know what he means.

Those are all the updates for now- I hope everyone has a great (and warm) weekend.

Activities Cole Family & Friends Ryan

Ryan’s Birthday Bash

The indoor amusement park party, was a bit hit! There were lots of fun rides, for kids of all ages including a suspension bridge ending in a slide, a carousal, a giant ball pit, a tea cup ride (think of the tea cups at Disneyland), and an enclosed Ferris wheel to name a few. Even my 9-month old niece had fun on the rides. But by far, Ryan and Cole’s favorite ride was the train, that went around on a real track. I think we ended up riding it no less than twenty times.

We arrived at the building and saw Joe’s sister, with her three kids, getting out of their car. Cole had fallen asleep on the ride down, so Joe opted to stay in the car with him for a while and let him sleep. My sister-in-law helped me bring some of the food in, and as soon as we checked in, she took Ryan off with her kids to start playing. My brother and sister-in-law, arrived, and my brother helped me carry in the rest of the items. My brother’s wife told me that she used to come to this place when she was a child, and loved it! She took my brother around to show him all the fun!

It seems like everyone started arriving pretty much around the same time. There were other families, and parties there obviously, and everyone was off with their kids, enjoying the rides. I would catch a glimpse of a friend or family member, and try to get over to them to say hello. At 12:15 it was time to eat. We had some pizzas, vegetable and fruit trays. After the kids were done eating, they wanted cake! So we obliged. Ryan loved his Thomas cake. Joe was filming the singing and blowing out of the candles, but told me on the way home, the camera wasn’t on! Fortunately, some of my family at least got some good pictures of Ryan blowing out his candles, so I’ll have to get those pictures from them.

After lunch, most of my family left- they had another party to go to, but it was nice that most of our friends were able to stay and play longer. It seemed like everyone was having a fun time. We had to drag Ryan and Cole out, around 2:45- they were both so tired, but didn’t want to leave. They wanted to ride the train one more time. 🙂 We are so fortunate to have such wonderful family and friends who helped us make Ryan’s day so special!

Ryan kept saying on the way home, what a fun party that was. At one point he said, “Man, that was fun!” He sounded so grown up. After some naps (Mom and Dad included), we headed out for some dinner, and then dropped by Joe’s parents house, to finish off the birthday cake with them.

This morning at 8:04 (Ryan’s birth time), I hugged him and told him, “Happy Birthday.” He hugged me back, and said,”Happy Birthday Mom- I love you so much.” I got tears in my eyes. That was the sweetest thing, I think I have ever heard.

Ryan wanted to play with his gifts the rest of the morning, and Joe and I did some serious cleaning of the house, re-organization, and put all the Christmas stuff away. It was sunny, but a bit cold, but we decided to take the boys to the park anyway. We lasted about half and hour, before the wind was just too cold.

We had a pretty low-keyed evening and I gave Ryan his toy trumpet, which he just loved! Unfortunately, Cole loved it too, and wants one. He followed Ryan around crying, trying to grab it from him. I may have to have a relative get another one from the toy store “in the big city” for Cole. But Ryan could blow into it, and make notes. He was even marching in time to his little songs.

Before the boys’ bath, they had some ice cream, and we put a candle in Ryan’s, and sang to him one last time. Before bed, I curled up with Ryan and read him one of his new gifts, Farmer Boy Birthday, from Little House on the Prairie. He loved the story, and wanted Joe to read it to him again.

Now that his fourth birthday is over, I can’t wait to see how my little guy changes over the course in this next year. One thing is for sure…I’m sure it won’t be boring.

Cole Family & Friends Holidays Parenting Ryan

Our Christmas

For the first time ever, we actually stayed home today-the entire day- for Christmas. In years past, we have spent Christmas with family and relatives, but the way it worked out this year, there were no family plans for Christmas.

We got home late from having Christmas Eve at my aunt’s house “in the big city.” We had a blast, with my siblings, my mom, my cousins, and my aunt and uncle. The boys had a wonderful time playing with their teen-age cousins, and Ryan was thrilled we picked him up a Santa hat, earlier in the day. He was saying, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas,” and saying he was one of Santa’s helpers.

We had an Italian theme for the food, and Ryan and Cole couldn’t have been any happier with the generosity of family and their selection of gifts. Cole received a shopping cart, play food, art supplies, books, an airport playset, a blanket sleeper, and the big hit- a play pizza set. He played with that for hours last night! I think we have a future pizza maker on our hands.

Ryan received a musical instrument set, a mini United Airlines die-cast airport set, art supplies, a giant train book, a Bob the Builder tool / play set (complete with a hard hat), a Thomas glow-in-the dark- puzzle, Thomas pajamas, a colored illustrated copy of “Little House in the Big Woods,” (his first chapter book), and a copy of the new Puff the Magic Dragon book. When Ryan would open a gift, he would say, “Well, what do you think about that!” It was so funny. I was really overwhelmed by the gifts- it seemed like everyone knew just what to get the boys- they love all their gifts!

After us adults participated in a white elephant gift exchange- we watched my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding DVD. It was fun to watch, but every time we started laughing at something, or talking over the DVD, Ryan would stand up and say, “Be quiet- I am trying to watch TV.”

This was my niece’s first Christmas as well, and it was so sweet to see her reactions to everything. Like every baby, she liked the wrapping paper and ribbons, more than the gifts. 🙂 Here are a few pictures from Christmas Eve (you can click on any picture to see it larger):

When we got home, Cole stayed asleep from the ride home, but Ryan was wired. We put out cookies for Santa, that we had made earlier. Ryan wanted to play with his airplane toys, and Joe read him his new train book to try to settle him down. We finally got him to go to sleep at about 10:30. He was SO excited Santa was finally on his way. As I tucked him in, he had a big smile on his face.

I finished wrapping a few more presents, and then stuffed Ryan’s and Cole’s stockings. I wanted to arrange everything so it was perfect, since this was the first time, Ryan was really excited about Santa. I couldn’t overlook anything, because I know he would notice. I finally got to bed around 2 am.

Fortunately, the boys slept in until 8. I heard Ryan wake up, and Joe and I rushed out of bed. We got Cole out of his crib, and we headed down stairs. When Ryan saw the tree and the presents under it he said, “Santa came!” Then he saw his new, red, shiny fire truck, with the ariel ladder, he so desperately wanted (we even had to make a last minute phone call in to Santa on Sunday for the request!). He yelled with delight, “An ariel ladder truck! Santa really did come!” Then he noticed the crumbs on the cookie plate, and said, “Santa ate all the cookies, and even got the little cookie I made for the reindeers!” It was just the most magical moment. Obviously, I didn’t take any pictures, but I will always remember the joy and happiness from Ryan this Christmas morning.

Cole wasn’t quite ready to get up, and did not want to open any presents until he had woken up a bit. Then he wanted to play with the fire truck. Surprisingly, the boys just shared beautifully today, and there were very few squabbles over the toys.

Joe and I made breakfast a of scrambled eggs, and French toast. We had a leisurely breakfast, while the boys played. We did a few minor chores around the house, and I tried to get Cole to take a nap, but he didn’t fall asleep. Right before lunch, the boys opened more presents from Joe’s side of the family, and again, the boys loved every gift, and we are so grateful for the nice presents they received.

Ryan received a glow-in-the-dark marble runner, a wooden xylophone, books, construction toys (for Cole as well), and a hand-made pillow. Cole also received a hand-made pillow and some books. Cole was so content playing with the gifts he had already received, he didn’t want to open anything else! We still have about five gifts from relatives that he did not want to open today. So we will be opening these in the coming days I’m sure.

Joe made grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and the boys wanted to watch Bob the Builder’s Christmas video we checked out from the library. After that was over, it was nap time, for all of us. We all took a nice, long, nap. It even started snowing!

When the boys and I got up, after two and a half hours (Yay!) Joe had started the ham, and had it in the oven. I made mac & cheese, and pears for the boys, and also made broccoli, and garlic bread for Joe and I.

After dinner, we cleaned up, and I made a quick batch of toffee. Then we went out for a drive to look at Christmas lights. The boys were getting pretty tired and fussy, so we cut the drive short.

Joe and Ryan started putting the marble runner together, and Cole watched for a few minutes, before it was his bed time. He was very tired! I read him a new book Santa brought him, and he went right to sleep. Then we got Ryan in his PJ’s, and he was ready for bed too.

Staying home this year was wonderful. It was so nice, being able to just relax and not having to worry about coordinating schedules and naps. It was just a very easy, and lazy day. We did miss celebrating with family though, and I don’t think we would want to stay home every year, but it was a nice change, and with two small children, it was a lot easier on them too. Overall, it was just a great day. I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas too. Here are some more pictures of our Christmas.

Here is a series of Cole I just loved- eating his first Candy Cane (click on it, to see it much larger):