Category: Cole

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Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan School

Mom Pay Day


I don’t have to go into detail about all the things we do for our kids. I’ve never counted, but I’d estimate it is probably in the hundreds every day.  From helping them with homework, to cooking them meals, to kissing them goodnight- it is never ending.  I also don’t have to go into detail about how 99% of the things we do, we are never thanked for.  It comes with the territory. But with all the countless things I do for my kids, and behavior corrections, “Ryan, don’t speak to your brother like that.  Cole, sit still and focus on your homework. “Boys, for the last time, pick up your Legos!”

I really wonder at times if my kids are “getting it.”

I’ve resorted to using the line, my mom always used, “Do you think I’m telling you X to hear myself talk?”

This usually has proceeded something I told them not to do, which they did anyway, and resulted in someone being hurt, or something being broken.

Yesterday, when I picked up the boys at their new school’s after school day care program, which they have been at for a total of 3.5 days, the director, I’ll call him Mr. Tom, came up to me and asked,

“Are Ryan and Cole good at home- do they behave?”

Immediately, I wondered what they broke, or who they had hurt.  I braced myself for bad news.

“Generally yes, they have their moments like most kids- why did they do something?” I replied to Mr. Tom.

“Yes, they did. I can’t believe how well behaved they are.  They are the best kids.  We were supposed to have 60 kids this afternoon, but due to some absences, we weren’t that full, but nevertheless, it was busy, and the kids were loud, and not behaving.  But Ryan and Cole were sitting just like I had asked, doing exactly what I had asked- the very first time. They were the only ones who did. In fact, I told the rest of the kids, if they had questions on proper behavior, or what they are supposed to be doing, watch Ryan and Cole, because they are doing it,” Mr. Tom told me.

I can’t describe how proud I was in that minute.  It was like a pay day for me.  All the work- all the thankless hours I’ve invested in them since the day they were born, someone noticed, and appreciated it.  I was so proud of the boys for being good and doing what they were supposed to, even when I wasn’t around.  Even though they don’t seem to “get it” at times, I learned today they do.  I don’t think there is anything better for a parent, to learn your kids have retained the good stuff.

I told the boys how proud I was of them. They asked me to email certain people to tell them, but I thought I would surprise them too, and show them their good behavior made my blog- on the Internet.  😉

I know there is a lot more work and a long way to go before they are responsible adults, but it was a nice realization that parenting efforts do pay off.

Now, if I can just get them to pick up their Legos!

 

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Cole Current Events Mothering Parenting Ryan

Thoughts On Tim Tebow

I like football.  I grew up with my dad and my brother watching it.  I lived in New Mexico until I was eight, and my dad and brother always watched Denver Bronco games-  they were our adopted home team.

When my parents moved to Colorado in the 80’s naturally the Broncos became our family’s team.  I remember learning the game and rules of football from my dad and brother in our den on Sunday afternoons.

I remember “The Drive,” from John Elway as really being the first time I was amazed at football.  I had just seen a quarterback go 98 yards with minutes left, and the team ended up winning. No one thought they could do it. Everyone had counted them out- except them, as John Elway told his teammates in the huddle on their own two yard line, “We got ‘em right where we want ‘em.” 

When the Broncos finally won their first Super Bowl against Green Bay, it was monumental for Colorado.  Living in one of the biggest sports towns in the country, I don’t think there will ever be a championship that meant more to the fans, or will ever rival the emotion of that first Super Bowl victory for Denver.  The Broncos weren’t supposed to have won that game either.  But the poise and leadership of John Elway had won out in the end.

As I think back about growing up watching football, and specifically the Broncos, it was a different time.  John Elway, who was any Bronco fan’s idol, was a person of character.  He worked hard. He had a family. He was someone kids could look up to-and did. The thought of him being caught with a gun outside a nightclub, running an illegal dog fighting ring, being charged with domestic violence, whining on the sidelines,  or having a 40 million dollar drug operation on the side, would have never crossed our minds in a million years.

Fast forward to today, and I have pretty much come to hate all professional sports.  It is sad really.  In the span of about 20 years, there are very few sport athletes I would want my boys to even know who they are, let alone look up to.  For that reason I follow sports very lightly now, and have hardly ever even watched a professional sports game with my kids. Being a Bronco fan though, I have kept up with it all.

I don’t have to recap all the ups and downs- mainly downs- the Broncos have been through since John Elway retired in 1999. The one thing that I always noticed though, was the spark seemed to be gone.  No one seemed “hungry” to win. Oh, there were some good moments and good games, but the leadership and motivation seemed to be lacking on a consistent basis since Elway retired.

Until now.  I was NOT happy about Tim Tebow being drafted to the Broncos.  I didn’t think they needed another quarterback, and it seemed like a power play with the then coach, Josh McDaniels, and the then quarterback, Jay Cutler.

At the start of this year, I wasn’t convinced.  To be fair, his “Tebowing” and display of Christianity was odd to me.  It seemed like an act- like he was trying to win over the fans with an “alter boy” image. In a day and age where most professional ball players are concerned with number 1: their endorsements, status, women, and money, a young, good looking, quarterback professing his faith in the Lord after a touchdown, just didn’t fit the mold for what we have grown used to seeing.  I half expected him to be busted with a prostitute and drugs his first few weeks here.

As the weeks went on and Tim Tebow continued to play, we all watched.  We shook our heads.  We didn’t believe it.  We wanted to believe Tim Tebow could really be for real-but is he?  I let my boys start watching games.  I noticed the team seemed revived and hungry again to win. I saw the spark back.  I saw Tim Tebow doing his thing, and always giving praise not to himself, but to whom he felt he deserved it. Yes, that includes his Lord and teammates.  I saw his locker room interviews where he is soft spoken and polite- week after week. If it is an act, he shouldn’t be playing football- he should be an actor.

I realized a few weeks ago, Tim Tebow is a football player, but he is also someone of character.  Someone who works hard, and someone kids- my kids- can look up to. Not as a football player who makes a lot of money for playing, but as someone who works hard, hangs in there, stays true to himself, motivates others, and doesn’t give up.

I told my boys tonight as we were watching the Broncos and Steelers game, that it didn’t matter who won, because both teams were playing their best, and that is what really matters- that you do your best.   I told them as overtime started, I thought the Broncos were going to win, because they believed in themselves- you could see it by the way they were playing.  My boys loved watching Tim Tebow, and  Ryan was jumping up and down, and cheering his head off at the end of the game.

I felt good my boys can watch a football game like that, and cheer for Tim Tebow, and I don’t have to worry about hearing him shooting someone in a club tonight in the post game party.  It’s nice to know even when they lose he still displays good sportsmanship. I don’t know what will happen with the Broncos, and Tim Tebow, but it is fun to enjoy the moment again.

Odd as it is, as I was tucking the boys in tonight and they told me again, they couldn’t believe that pass Tim Tebow made, it dawned on me that there has been a lesson here all along.  I told my kids about it, without even realizing it at the time.  It is one a lot of people in Denver are saying: Believe.

Maybe we have all grown too cynical to really believe working hard pays off anymore- most of the time it isn’t what you know but whom you know to get ahead.  Maybe we’ve grown accustomed to character flaws when the going gets tough.  But in my little corner of the world, this Tim Tebow seems to defy that.  He wasn’t supposed to do any of the things he’s accomplished this year.  We might have stopped or never believed in the first place, but he does.

Whatever happens with football, it is a game. As a mother, I wish there were more professional athletes our kids could have as heroes, because I do think sports mirror life a lot of times.  If the worst Tim Tebow does is go down on a knee to do his “Tebowing” after a score,  I’d much rather explain that to my kids, as I have done,  than explaining why he is in jail for committing a crime.

It isn’t just about winning a football game, but the character and mind set you need to have to keep believing, and staying true to yourself when things are tough.  It’s easy to forget at times- we all have moments of self doubt. But as I saw the sparkle in my boys’ eyes tonight, I have to conclude sometimes reminders are found in places we would never expect- like from a Denver Broncos quarterback.

Categories
Cole Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

“Mom, Is Santa Real?”

I was making dinner tonight when Ryan, who will be 8 next month, walked into the kitchen and asked flat out, “Mom, is Santa real?” I froze.  I had no warning or idea this was going to be a question that needed to be answered for a few years at least, let alone right now.  A million thoughts flashed through my mind in the few seconds it took me to process his question. The biggest one of course was, ‘What am I going to tell him?’

I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, where we didn’t celebrate holidays, Christmas included. My parents at the time, told me flat out Santa was a lie parents told their children. The “church” also pointed out that “Santa” rearranged is “Satan.”  I never received gifts from Santa, and never faced the question if he was real.   My parents relaxed some of their views years later, my mom even left the religion and we celebrated a few very happy Christmases before she passed away.  But, I realized I was never left an example to fall back on regarding how and what to tell a child about Santa.

Since I never was allowed to celebrate Christmas as a child, I have lived it for the first times, mainly through the eyes of my children.  Christmas has been some of the happiest times and best memories I have so far of the boys.  It is magical. The excitement they have when they see the presents Santa has left for them under the tree- there is nothing like it.

I also think, part of the excitement is in realizing there is something good and positive which is “bigger” than them, at work.  I think it fills their hearts with a sense of security in knowing there is this nice man who just brings good kids presents.  It is simple- simple for young children to accept and believe.  Not so simple as the children get older.

I asked Ryan if he believed Santa was real, and he said, “No.”  I quickly tried to relay the idea of Santa , before Cole came downstairs and heard. I tried to tell him Santa is everywhere if you believe.  He started to cry in frustration.  I told him we would talk about it after dinner, when Cole was playing.

I thought about all through dinner and asked my friends on Facebook for advice.  After dinner, I took him in my room, shut the door, and cuddled with him on my bed.  I still didn’t really know what to say, but sometimes all you can do is follow what your heart tells you.  I took a deep breath, and told Ryan I had something to tell him about Santa.  I told him it was only for him to know right now, and he couldn’t tell Cole, or any other kids at school.

His face lit up. So far so good. I told him Christmas is a magical time of year when we all get reminders of love. One way people do that is by giving each other gifts.  I told him Santa helps the parents give gifts to their children.  He asked, “So you are Santa?”

I didn’t want to lie to Ryan but I didn’t want to quash his hopes and belief in the good Santa stands for.  In an instant it became clear to me and I said, “We are all Santa, Ryan. The parents help Santa with presents and Santa helps the parents.  Santa is the good, magical, and love in all of us, and this gets shown so much at Christmas.  Santa needs all of our help to do this everyday, but especially at Christmas.”

He looked a little confused and I continued, “Do you know how happy you feel when you help me, or do something nice for Cole?”  He told me yes. “Well, you are being like Santa when you do these things.  You are giving to people, and that is what Santa is all about. So I think he is very real, because if you look for him, you will see him every day, not just at Christmas.”

He said he felt better and I told him he was old enough now to be trusted with this.  I told him little kids like Cole though, don’t think of all the questions he has, so this year he gets to help Santa with Cole.

He smiled and gave me a hug, and I told him once more before we opened the door, that this was an important thing to know, and Santa was counting on him now.  He said he knew, nodded his head, and off he went to play with Cole.

I realized later tonight, in the almost seven years since my baby had his first Christmas, it itsn’t entirely up to me anymore to have him believe in Santa.  He is becoming his own person, with his own ideas and thoughts.  He will have to decide for himself what he thinks about Santa.

I hope some of what I told him, helped him get a grasp that Santa may not be an actual guy in a red suit, with reindeer, who comes down a chimney.  I think that was the part he was having a hard time believing.  But I hope it opened up to him the ideas of what Santa really is, if he believes.

Ryan's First Christmas, 2004
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Cole Family & Friends Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

“Sexy” Halloween Costumes (Wonder Woman Doesn’t Wear Garters)

A few weeks ago, I started looking at websites and Googling ideas for Halloween costumes for a party.  I’m not sure when it happened, but every single costume I clicked on is a “sexy” version of what I was thinking of.  It doesn’t matter what the costume: vampire, pirate, angel, Wonder Woman, Raggedy Ann (yes, Raggedy Ann now has her own sexy costume.) Evidently, nothing is sacred anymore, and even a good old fashioned nun can be sexy costume.

As a girl, I loved Wonder Woman.  Compare these two pictures.  Wonder Woman as I remember her:

and a Wonder Woman costume available today:
I don’t recall Wonder Woman ever wearing a skirt, thigh highs, garters, and high heeled shoes on TV.  Did I miss those episodes?
 
I’m all for looking fashionable, modern, and having fun.  But unless I’m going to dress up (or down in this case) as a stripper for Halloween, I don’t want a costume that looks like I’m ready to do a pole dance.  After I looked at so many of these costumes, I realized they are pretty much the same version.  A skimpy top, a short skirt, knee high, thigh high, or fishnet stockings, garters for Wonder Woman, and high heel shoes.

Last year John and I were Pugsley and Wednesday Addams for Halloween.  The Wednesday costume I ordered in my size, the skirt was so short, it didn’t even cover the essentials.  I ended up getting another skirt that was just above my knees, but still matched the costume.  The costume was still fun, I got a lot of compliments on it, but I didn’t look like I had just finished a shift at a strip club.

I did a quick random “Halloween Costume” Google search and BuyCostumes.com was the first site that came up.  I went to their page and clicked on “Adult Costumes.” There are 1931 costumes for females listed under gender.   The very first category they have listed is “Sexy.”  Out of the 1931 female costumes, 966 of them are in the “sexy” category.

Do 50% of the female costumes really have to be sexy versions? What is wrong with an original version? Not every woman wants to dress up as a “sexy” superhero, fairy tale character, historical figure, vampire, nun, or any other costume you can think of.  My boys have been asking what I’m going to be for Halloween.  I couldn’t envision dressing up and having them see me in any of these “sexy” costumes.  Yet, that is what is being sold.

If I could sew, I would start a business just making normal, fun, costumes, that are stylish and fashionable, but where other party guests wouldn’t feel like they needed to put dollar bills in part of the costume.

To be fair, on BuyCostumes.com there are 1581 male costumes total, and 104 of those are “sexy.”  However, that is only 6.5%.  Quite a difference.  The policemen and sailor costumes for men had shorts and pants that were to the knees and covered everything.  There was no Batman, or Superman wearing thigh highs, or fishnet stockings instead of tights. 

The other thing I noticed about these costumes was how expensive they are for barely anything.  Most of the costumes start at $25 and go up from there.  BuyCostumes.com’s most expensive “sexy” costume was $259!  If I wanted to wear my underwear to a Halloween party, I could do it a lot less than for hundreds of dollars.

I finally found a Halloween costume l think will be fun for the party.  Finding it though, did not come easy.  Every single costume sold by the costume on-line retailers and even Amazon in the category was “sexy” and not something I would ever feel comfortable wearing as it was, to a party- around people, or having my sons see me in. I want to keep the costume a surprise for the party for now, but I will write a follow up post, with the pictures of the “sexy” costumes, and what I actually ended up with.

In the meantime, if you are facing the same problem, just think outside the box a bit.  Check eBay, or thrift shops for different ideas and versions.   I ended up getting my costume on eBay, for a fraction of the cost of the retailer’s costumes and went with an original, vintage outfit, versus the “sexy” take on it.

You may need the patience and determination of a Superhero to make it work, but it’s worth it.  My costume arrived in the mail a few days ago, and I’m really happy with it.  I’m adding a few more accessories to it, and it is playful, fun, cute, and it actually covers everything it is supposed to.  Best of all, I showed it to the boys the other night, they loved it, had some ideas on how to wear certain parts of it, and learned more about the time period the costume is from. Take that Wonder Woman in garters!  😉

I’m curious to hear readers’ thoughts on this, and if others have experienced a problem trying to find a decent costume.

Have a Happy and safe Halloween!

 

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Activities Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

Angry Birds vs. Imagination

Angry Birds- it’s the latest (addictive craze).  I admit it- I love Angry Birds. When I finished the regular levels, I moved on to Angry Birds Seasons, and Angry Birds Rio.

At times, Ryan and Cole would see me playing and ask what I was doing.  I showed them the game, and it and wasn’t too long after they were asking me if they could play Angry Birds.  As a kid, the first real video game I played was Atari Pong.  My brother and I would bounce that dot between the rectangles what seemed like for hours, and we had so much fun.  Thinking back on it, I doubt kids today would even spend 10 minutes on Pong.  Our society moves too fast now- there’s lights, colors, graphics, and noises everywhere- video games included.  Simple video games like Pong, had their time, and it’s over.

That being said, I think Angry Birds can teach kids a little bit about physics and resolve. The boys didn’t want to stop until they had gotten all the pigs, and had gotten three stars on every level. They high fived and cheered when one of them achieved this, and they reminded me of my brother and I. Except they were crouched over a phone screen, instead of laying on the living room floor, looking at a TV set.  Nevertheless, it was fun seeing them play a “video” game together.

It’s been several weeks since they have played Angry Birds.  We are so busy at night with homework, and when homework is done, the boys have wanted to spend the last few precious minutes of daylight at the park, riding their bike, scooter, and playing with their friends.

A few days ago, we were hanging out on Sunday morning, and Cole asked me (make that begged) me if he could play Angry Birds.  “Please Mommy, please- can I play Angry Birds?”  I let Cole play, and within a few minutes Ryan had joined him, and they were working on the levels.  I started doing some chores and before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed.  I told the boys they had been playing the game long enough, and it was time to stop.  They objected and asked if they could keep playing. I told them no, and they weren’t happy. They didn’t exactly throw a fit, but they went in their room and shut the door.

I assumed they were moping, and discussing what a mean mom they had.  A few minutes later I heard a thump.  Then another one, laughing, and a “Ryan, I know what will make this even better-dynamite!”  Whenever you hear a phrase like that as a mother of boys, you go a running to check.  It’s second nature by now. It’s like the mother drill: No questions asked, you just go- the sooner the better.

In their room, I assessed the situation.  I saw Cole setting up their blocks around stuffed animals.  Ryan was stringing a rubber band across his dresser knobs, about 3 feet away from the animals and blocks, and he was holding a pencil.  I have seen a lot of funny, odd, weird, etc., things my boys have done, but I had no idea what they were up to.

“Look Mom, since you won’t let us play Angry Birds anymore, we made our own real life Angry Birds.”  Ryan told me, as he lined up his pencil, through the rubber band.  “This is the slingshot.”

“These are blocks and pigs, but this game is really called Angry Stuffed Animals.” Cole informed me.

Thump! Ryan let the pencil go, it hit the top of his bed frame, which was the backdrop.  It landed on the block, and it grazed an “angry” pink dinosaur.

The boys squealed in delight.  They laughed and did it again. And again.  They knocked down the blocks, and angry stuffed animals- monkeys, dinosaurs, and giraffes.  They arranged the blocks, Angry Stuffed Animals in various ways, and in different patterns and they would work on shooting the pencil from their “slingshot” until they knocked down all the animals and blocks. When they succeeded they said they had earned three stars, and constructed a new level.

They played Angry Stuffed Animals for an hour.  I think they had more fun too.  My brother and I never tried to construct Pong in real life, but we would play tennis.  As I left their room to their laughing, it occurred to me as much as things change, they stay the same.  Video games keep progressing and in any generation are fun, but they can never take the place of real life imaginings.

I have a new favorite “video” game.  It doesn’t have fancy music and sounds, and it isn’t found in an app store. It has laughter, fun, excitement and creativity.  It is found in the imagination of my boys, and that makes it the perfect game.

Angry Stuffed Animals