C-sections Five Years and Beyond (Part 2)

This is part two of the interview with ten women on their C-section experiences.  You can find C-sections Five Years and Beyond (Part 1) by clicking on the title.   

Do you feel you were given adequate information from your doctor or health care provider regarding the C-section? (procedure, recovery time, possible complications, emotions, etc)

Justine- “Absolutely not. Granted, this was 1989 and things have come a long way since then. But whenever i asked questions (“Why is 12 hours the limit? If i don’t have a fever, then why are we worried about infection? Since the IV is in, can’t we start an antibiotic as a preventive measure instead of surgery?) the answer i got was “You can’t mess around with your baby’s health like that.” or “Our job is to take care of you, your job is to let us” I had no idea what to expect after the surgery…and they just kept pumping me full of narcotics even though I wanted to just try Tylenol…ugh.  It was simply a nightmare…and one that I could not wake up from.”

Jane- “I didn’t get the information that I would be separate from my baby for hours after birth.”

Beth G.– “Yes, I really liked and trusted my doctor. I’ve always had specialists, so my doctor did the c-section. The other Dr. who scrubbed in happened to be a good friend of my mom’s whom I’d known since I was young.”

Kristi– “Not the first time around.  Definitely not.”

Beth S.– “No one talked to me about anything! I just remember signing the papers that talked about possible complications. Fortunately, I had read everything under the sun about all the variables involved in childbirth, including C-Section, so basically everything I knew, I had learned on my own.”

If you had to do it over again, is there anything you would change or do differently regarding your C-section?

Emily– “I would have just scheduled it from the get go. But that’s easier said than done. C-sections after an induction are more likely to cause complications, which mine did. I was induced in large part because I was just over my pregnancy. I enjoyed it as a whole but I was ready for the baby to come. And my mom kept asking me when she should book her ticket to come out. So I put pressure on my doctor to induce me. In hindsight I wish I had just been more patient. If I had waiting, my son may have righted himself and the whole thing may not have been necessary.”

Renae– “I was under the care of a midwife and planned to labor and deliver at her birth center. If I had it to do over, I would research c-sections and would have sought out a doctor’s help sooner. (We knew my baby was measuring incredibly small.)”

Justine– “First of all, I would never go to the hospital unless I had a bullet wound, lost an appendage, or had a brain tumor. But, barring that scenario, I wish I had made my wishes about breastfeeding and being with my baby clear before I had the surgery, in writing…I wish I had had a doulaor a trained professional to help me navigate the medical system…I wish I had asked about what kind/type of incision was being made and why…and most of all, I wish that I had retained the services of a midwife instead of an OB. Even if the c/s was inevitable, the lack of respect was inexcusable.”

Natalie– “My first two C-sections weren’t scheduled, but my labor was induced early both times mostly for convenience sake.  If I could do it again I think I would try to hold out until I went into labor or until after my due date.  I think the babies were taken too early.  13 and 11 days early.  They hadn’t dropped and just weren’t ready to come out.  I might have been able to prevent the C-sections if I had just waited it out.”

Beth S.– “Because of the complications that had arisen, I couldn’t have done it differently. Had everything been fine except for the fact that he was overdue, I would have waited until he was ready to come out on his own!”

Have you had, or attempted to have a VBAC? (vaginal birth after Cesarean)  If so, what was the single most important reason you had for making that choice?

Renae– “No. I wish it possible, but because my incision is classical it is not recommended. I see the wisdom in the decision for me. At the end of my next two pregnancies both tiny babies were in distress.”

Justine– ” I have had 3 VBAC’s…1994, 2003 and 2008. My last one was a homebirth. The most important reason for me was having a gentle welcome for my baby and a healthy chance of recovery for me so that I was able to parent my baby right from the start.”

Jill– “No–my doctor advised against the 2nd and 3rd times.”

Brenna– “Yes, I attempted a VBAC with my second son. I felt that I owed to him and myself, and even my first son, to try. I knew the recovery time would be shorter and hoped that breastfeeding would be easier to start with.”

Beth S.- “I went on to have 3 more children via VBAC. The last 2 were with a midwife! I just wanted to have the entire ‘natural’ experience. As a woman, I felt it was my God-given right, I guess! I just had the instincts to do what nature had intended for me to do when it came to giving birth.”

How do you feel about your birth experience with your C-section, now that it has been five or more years? (I am including all the responses for this question)

Emily– “I actually feel fine with it. I know that C-sections are more expensive and I spent more time in the hospital than I would have otherwise but I also was super grateful for the time in the hospital with help.”

Beth G.- “Positive.”

Justine– “I have to admit, that even 20 years later, it is still a sore spot. The scar is as healed as it ever will be…and successfully birthing my three daughters has given me back confidence in my body and its ability. But I will never recover the time that my c/s [c-section] stole from my son…I cannot remember any of the sweet moments in his first few weeks…it was a living hell and he paid the price for it…I was too weak to hold him or pick him up. I was too tired to sing to him or to marvel at how perfect he was..every bit of my energy went into simply trying to get myself a glass of water, or hobble to the bathroom, or sit up and nurse. Perhaps it is different for momma’s who had a real medical issue, or needed a c/s to save their life, or their baby’s…but I went through all of this for…nothing.  I still have a lot of guilt and regret about not knowing more, or for not standing up for my rights as a patient. It is what has led me to the work I do now, so I am grateful for the point of view, but am still bitter about it.”

Renae– “I am at peace. My children are wonderful and the scar is a reminder of how my love has grown.”

Jill– “No regrets about c-section. My son is a healthy, tall for his age kindergartener.”

Brenna– “I feel okay about it. I am thankful we do have the technology to step in and help as needed. I feel that it is done far too often, but I do feel that in my case it was probably necessary. That really helps me feel at peace with the experience.”

Beth S.- “I think I’m fine with it only because I had the proof in front of me of my son’s weakening heart beat that it needed to be done.”

Kristi– “I can’t say I ever really even think about it.  I have no feeling of inadequacy or regret that I’ve heard is common.  If I planned on having six kids I think I’d be upset because I wouldn’t want to go through that surgery too many times but that’s not the case.”

Natalie– “I am completely fine with it.  I have 4 amazing kids and the fact that they were C-section babies is barely even a thought in my mind.  Only when I am answering medical questions or comparing births (which gets rarer and rarer the older I get) does it even enter my mind.  I don’t feel any less of a mom or a woman because of having to have C-sections.”

Jane– “I’m crying as I’m typing this.”

Any other thoughts, comments, or observations you would like to share? (I have included all responses received to this question)

Beth G.- “I believe there are trade-offs. While a c-section has it’s medical issues, it was nice to have a clean surgery/recovery site with no ripping, soreness, etc. from a traditional birth.”

Justine– “Next month [April] is Cesarean awareness month and I will be posting c/s [C-section] info in conjunction with my local ICAN chapter at www.JulianArts.com

Renae– “When it’s all done the little ones we hold in our arms are the focus, not how they entered our love. (And by the way, my son is fine. He was born at 35 weeks and weighed only 1 lb. 13 oz. You’d never know it now. Here’s a post that contains his birth picture {yikes!}: https://lifenurturingeducation.com/2007/11/19/more-thankful-a-decade-later/)”

Jill– “Explaining how a baby is born is easier with a c-section baby. I would say “the baby came out of mommy’s tummy.” The children never asked about mommy’s private parts. They seemed satisfied with this explanation.”

Brenna– “The hospital that I went to for all three of my children has an amazing nursing staff. That really made all the difference in creating positive birth experiences with each baby, regardless of the means.”

Jane– “Just get as much info as you can before hand. Try to schedule at a hospital that allows you to recover with your baby. No matter what happens, breastfeed! Babies need touch and warmth – and you can’t get that closeness with a bottle! Even if the nurses give the baby a bottle because they say it is an emergency while you are recovering, insist on breastfeeding after that and don’t allow any more bottles!!!”

Again, I would like to thank all these woman for taking the time to share their thoughts with me, and allowing me to post their experiences here. 

I will have my concluding comments and few more thoughts about C-sections in the final part of this series.  It will be posted on Thursday of this week.