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Cancer Family & Friends Health Me

My Cancer Has Spread

On Wednesday I had an ultrasound my surgeon had requested before the surgery to remove my thyroid for cancer.  I didn’t know ahead of time why he wanted this ultrasound, but found out it was to determine if the cancer in my thyroid had spread into my lymph nodes.

I was really upset leaving the ultrasound, and scared.  I didn’t want to have to think about another issue with my thyroid cancer.  I was told I would have the results in a few days.

Yesterday my surgeon, Dr. S., called me and told me the ultrasound showed the cancer had moved to my lymph nodes.  He said I have two lymph nodes that are measuring over 3 cm., and anytime they measure over 1.5 cm., it is a major cause of concern.

Dr. S. told me those nodes will have to be removed during my surgery and they will have to examine my other lymph nodes in surgery to determine if any other ones need to be removed as well.  He told me the surgery is complex and will be a minimum of 9 hours now.  Previously, the surgery time was about 2 hours-just to remove the thyroid.  Dr. S. said I will now be in the hospital for 4-5 days, and have a longer recovery time.

I was completely in shock as I was listening to Dr. S. tell me all of this.  My heart was racing and I was having trouble breathing. He recommended I make an appointment and he would fill me in on all the details and the process.  Dr. S. told me I still had the papillary cancer, and it was still in the very early stages.  He said he was glad I had gotten the ultrasound, because now he had the complete picture of what my health situation is, and he knows before hand, the direction the surgery needs to go in.

I hung up, and sat shocked and numb- staring at my wall. I stared to cry and utter a lot of four letter words under my breath.  Ryan and Cole were home, and I didn’t want to have them overhear me calling anyone to tell them. I was too upset anyway to talk.

Since then, I have let my family, friends, and Facebook friends know and the support has been overwhelming.  My sister and friends have told me this is bad news, but I am not going to die.  When it is all said and done, it is a complication, but I am going to be fine.

A day later, I am still in shock somewhat- just trying to absorb the situation.  I am going to make that appointment with Dr. S., to get the rest of the facts and ask questions.  I don’t believe I will need to have chemotherapy, but will more than likely have to undergo radioactive iodine therapy.

My family is already making plans to get me the help I need after the surgery, and I know I can count on my friends to help too.  I am very grateful for all the support and love I have.

So where do I go from here? I am not sure.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude and trying not to freak out.  I am trying to remember to take deep breaths and keep everything in perspective.

If anyone has been through this, the removal of lymph nodes, please let me know what your experience was.  It helps me to hear what others have gone through.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  I need all the positive energy that can come my way.  🙂

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Cancer Health Me

Thyroid Cancer Update

A few weeks ago, I found out I have thyroid cancer.  My doctor says I have papillary cancer, and recommended a total thyroidectomy (a procedure where the entire thyroid is removed.)

My surgery is set for June 12th, around noon- as it stands now.  Before the surgery I have to have a high resolution ultrasound which, as I understand it, will help my doctor determine exactly where the cancer is in the nodule.  I also have to have some blood work done, and a pre-surgery appointment a few days before to discuss the surgery with my surgeon. 

I have been looking into more information on a thyroid lobectomy with isthmusectomy which is a medical term for only having half of my thyroid removed.  It seems though this is only preferred when the nodule is under 1.5 cm. and mine is 1.7 cm.  Still, I have read that the thyroid can function with only 10% remaining, and the idea of not being on medication for the rest of my life, is appealing. 

On the other hand, the cancer has a higher chance of recurrences in my situation if any part of my thyroid remains.  Plus, I would always have to have it monitored which means more biopsies, which I am not fond of.  The other factor in this decision is the emotional aspect- will I always be wondering if cancer is growing again in my thyroid?  Will it always be there in the back of my mind?  What if I am clear after a biopsy, and then it comes back six months later, and it is worse than before?  I am thankful and consider myself lucky this was caught early.  It was basically four months from when my doctor first felt the lump at my annual exam, to my diagnosis.  What if I choose to only have half of my thyroid removed and I am not so lucky a second time?

So I have been debating these options.  I plan to do some more reading and research.  I want to make sure I understand what is happening, and any other options that are available as treatment.  I am not questioning the expertise of my surgeon/doctor- his own wife had the exact cancer I have two years ago, so I am perfectly confident in his abilities and diagnosis, but I want to know for myself that I have explored all options, and this really is the best treatment for me before I go “under the knife” so to speak.

My family and friends have been amazing.  I have been in touch with a lot of other people who have also been through this, and their stories have reassured me and given me confidence that everything will turn out okay for me.  My mom and my sister (my only two family members that don’t live in Colorado) are arranging their schedules so they can be here during and after the surgery.  Ryan and Cole’s father, grandparents, and extended family are going to be able to watch the boys extra times during and after the surgery.  In short, I am very fortunate to have so much support and help.  It is one thing I don’t have to worry about right now. 

I am so grateful for all the e-mails and good wishes I have received and wanted to post a quick update, since these are most of the questions I receive in the e-mails.  If anyone has chosen to have the partial thyroid removal, I would love to hear your experience if you are willing to share it.  You can leave a comment or e-mail me privately.  My e-mail is found on the Contact Page.

Thanks again to everyone for all the support and information.  Love you all.  🙂

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Cancer Health Me

Thyroid Biopsy- Finally!

**I want to apologize if you are visiting today for the second part of  My C-section, Five Years Later post.  I had said it would be up on Thursday, but at the time I did not know I would be having a biopsy on Wednesday.  I hope to have the post up by Monday, so please check back.**

I finally had my thyroid biopsy today.  I didn’t want to write the post tonight, because I am having a lot of pain, but I have received so many e-mails and inquires from family, friends, and blog readers who are concerned.  Forgive me if this isn’t the best post I have ever written, but at least I have a good reason- right?

I worked this morning and arrived at the hospital around 1:30.  My sister, Mara, took another half day off from work to be there for me.  I was calm, but still a little nervous.  I had received so many well wishes from everyone, I felt very confident and strong.  I checked in, and we didn’t have to wait very long before the ultrasound technician called us back.

She told us right away that Mara could come back with me for the prep., but she couldn’t stay in the room with me while they did the actual biopsy. I was upset to hear that- I planned to protest!

I was having an ultrasound guided biopsy with a fine needle.  The tech. told me what they would be doing, and told me they were going to use the smallest needles they have.  She told me the needles were small enough, I didn’t need a numbing agent.  After she gave us some more information, Mara spoke up and asked her why she couldn’t be in the room, and the tech. went into the hospital procedures.  She told us that in case Mara had an aversion to needles, and fainted, the doctors didn’t want to have to stop the biopsy to take care of her.  At this point Mara said, like only my sister can, “I have had a baby- a needle is NOT going to make me faint, y’all.”  The tech and the assistant laughed, but they didn’t change their mind. 

At that point they asked me to get on the gurney, and Mara had to leave.  She told me to breathe and think peaceful thoughts.  The hospital doctor, Dr. G.,  came in and introduced herself- she was going to be the one inserting the needles.  She told me she would take a few samples, and then a pathologist would examine the samples right then, to determine if there was a large enough sample.  She made it very clear that they would not have any results though today.  She said they wanted to make sure they had enough sample to get a proper reading, so I wouldn’t have to come back .  The doctor told me they had to make sure if they tell me it is benign, that it is benign 100%, so they may need a few samples.

Then she started putting something like betadine on my neck, and prepping me.  The tech told me it was a very easy access to get to the thyroid, so I felt good about that.  We had to wait a few minutes for the pathologist, but as soon as he was there, Dr. G., said she was going to start.  The ultrasound tech. pulled up pictures of my thyroid, and Dr. G. watched the screen as she started.  I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to watch the technical aspect of it. 

I was surprised.  The needle stick did not hurt at all, but I guess the needle was inserted very deeply into the thyroid.  That hurt.  She also wiggled it around- I assume getting the sample.  It lasted about thirty-seconds.  Then Dr. G. said she was going in from another angle, and repeated the process.  This one was much deeper, and hurt even more.  It lasted the same amount of time.  Dr. G. told me the pathologist was going to examine the samples, and she and him left the room.

The tech told me this was the longest part, but I was doing great.  I closed my eyes again and tried to keep breathing. I know that Dr. G. told me they were not looking for cancer at this point, but I couldn’t help but wonder if a pathologist would be able to tell immediately from looking at my blood under a microscope, whether there were cancer cells in it.  I mean, how could he not- that is what they do.  

About ten minutes later, Dr. G., and Dr. Pathologist came back into the room and Dr. G. told me they needed another sample.  She did the process again, and took the sample back to Dr. Pathologist.  I turned my head and could see him looking under his little microscope.  They were talking in very low voices.  I could hear their voices, but not the words.  Again, I was wondering, how could Dr. Pathologist not know if he was seeing cancer or not?

Dr. G. came back over to me five minutes later and told me Dr. Pathologist needed one more sample- a fourth one.  She stuck me again, and dug into my neck with the needle.  It felt like she had already taken a sample from this area before.  The ultrasound tech told her she was into the nodule perfectly, and then she wiggled the needle around for what seemed like forever.  I’ll be honest- it hurt!  It really hurt! I got tears in my eyes.  I was hoping she was getting what they needed and they weren’t going to have to do this a fifth time.

After another consult with Dr. Pathologist, and more hushed voices, Dr. G. told me they had enough of the sample, and I was done.  Dr. Pathologist turned to me and seemed very upbeat.  He said they may not have results for me until Monday, but I could check as soon as Friday afternoon with my doctor.  He and Dr. G., left, and the ultrasound tech told me to keep the betadine on my neck for several hours to help cut the risk of infection.  She put a Band-Aid on it. I sat up and felt light headed, so I sat for a few more minutes before I went back to the waiting room.

I found Mara, and we sat for a while, so I could stop feeling light headed.  I filled her in the procedure and informed my family and friends, via Facebook.  🙂  Mara and I went to eat lunch.  At lunch, my thyroid really started throbbing.  Every time I swallowed it hurt. 

As I was driving home, I realized I could not turn my neck, without it hurting.  It was still throbbing and and aching.  I took some Advil and rested.  A few hours later, I had to go pick the boys up from their grandparent’s house.  Just moving my neck hurt.  We decided to have Ryan stay with his grandparents tonight, and I took Cole home.  He was a very sweet boy for me tonight, cuddling and kissing me. 

I expressed my concern to my mom and sisters on how many samples they took, and how could the pathologist not know if I had cancer or not? My mom made a  point, which I hope is right, that if they saw cancer (assuming he could tell), in the first sample, they would have found what they were looking for, and I would have been done.  My mom thinks they didn’t see anything, so that is why they could have been taking more samples.  The last sample was so forceful and specific, my instincts tell me they were really trying to get into the ‘heart’ of the nodule, for a reason.  I don’t want to speculate too much, but I do feel no matter what, they got an accurate sample, and got enough cells to be able to give me an accurate diagnois.

I am about to take some more Advil, drink some tea, and go to bed.  My thyroid is still aching, but I think with a good night’s rest, it will feel better in the morning.  I took a few pictures of my neck, and you can see the needle sticks.  I am hoping these pictures will help someone else in the future, who is also facing a thyroid biopsy.

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The first two pictures are right after I took the Band-Aid off tonight. I still have the betadine on my neck. 

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The needle sticks are red- they look like pimples.  The one near my vein, near the top of my neck is from the fourth stick- the one that hurt the most.

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So now the waiting begins, but I am one step closer to finding out the answers I need.  Again, I can’t thank everyone enough for their love and support.  I am so touched by the support and encouragement- some of which comes from people I have never met before, but consider friends.   Thanks for supporting me on this journey- I will keep you updated.

On a final note- I have been reading Twilight, and plan to go read it right now in bed.  It makes me laugh that I have an aching and sore neck, and am going to go read about a vampire!  🙂

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Cancer Health Me

The Biopsy that Wasn’t

Friday was my scheduled biopsy.  Except someone failed to tell the doctor.  I’ll explain.

If you have been following this in my other posts, then you remember that after I had an ultrasound, and they found a nodule,  my doctor told me I needed to have a biopsy.  This is to check for cancer.  She referred me and sent my file to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor, Dr. S., in town.  I called and specifically told the receptionist that I needed a biopsy.  She told me they had received my file, and they were going to fit me in right away for the biopsy, since I had a nodule.  My sister, Mara took off work, so she could accompany me to the doctor, and the boys’ grandmother graciously babysat.

We arrived at the doctor’s office and I filled out all the paperwork.  Then we went back to the exam room, and waited for the doctor. When he arrived, he started going over my medical history.  He asked me a lot of questions about my health in general.   Then he pulled out a booklet and started explaining what the thyroid does, and what having a nodule means.  I had a hard time focusing because I was wondering when he was going to start the biopsy. 

He told me  in my case, a biopsy is needed, but an ultrasound-guided biopsy at the hospital will give me the most accurate results.  It hit me that I was not going to have a biopsy on Friday.  About that time Mara asked if he was going to do the biopsy.  He said he could do one with the needle in his office, but without the ultrasound, the results might not be very accurate. 

I really wanted to get this done and over with already. I was tempted to tell him to just do it.  But, no matter what the results were, I would have that question in the back of my mind- could I trust the results?  I decided since I have to have it done anyway, I might as well make sure it is the most accurate it can be.  So that means scheduling it at the hospital for the ultrasound led biopsy.

As we left the office, I was really annoyed and mad.  I couldn’t believe the doctor’s office failed to tell me this was a consult only.  I was also annoyed because now this means more waiting.  I just want to get this behind me, one way or another.  I tried calling the hospital all afternoon on Friday, to get the biopsy scheduled,  but no one ever answered the phone!  I was beyond frustrated.  I can’t control it though, so I will have to just go with the flow.

The only silver lining, was I got a lot of my questions answered.  The doctor told me after the biopsy, I should have results within 3-5 days.   He also told me if there is cancer, they remove the entire thyroid.  He says it isn’t worth the risk to just cut out the cancerous portion- the entire thyroid is removed.  So I would be facing surgery.  Then I would be on medication for the rest of my life.  He actually increased the percentage of cases where it is cancer- to 15%.  I had been told 10% previously. 

Dr. S. told me if the nodule is benign, then I can decide to just leave it, but they would watch it very closely to make sure it didn’t become cancerous, which I can only assume more biopsies.  He said sometimes patients decide to just have the benign part cut out, so they don’t have to worry about it becoming cancerous.  That would mean surgery.  He said they would still monitor the thyroid, but not as much.  He said even when the biopsy shows the nodule is benign, and a patient opts to have the benign part removed, they will examine the nodule, and sometimes still find traces of cancer.  He said if that happened, they would remove the thyroid at that point too. 

I don’t like the way most of these options end.  It sounds like nothing is for certain- even if the biopsy shows the nodule is benign- cancer could still be a possibility at some point.  This information is preparing me for the choice I will soon have to make.  Dr. S. told me my ultrasound showed some abnormalities, but he couldn’t make a diagnosis from just the ultrasound.  He also said when the nodule measures more than 3 centimeters, they become very concerned.  He said my nodule measured 1.7 centimeters.  For some reason that sounded reassuring- like I don’t have this awful mass on my thyroid growing. 

Dr. S. told me his own wife had thyroid cancer two years ago.  She had asked him to be his surgeon, and he said she was fine today.  He said thyroid cancer is very treatable, and is very slow growing. He told me it is the slowest growing cancer, and if I had to have cancer, this was the one to have. 

Obviously, I don’t want any cancer.  I don’t want to be treated.  I don’t want surgery. I don’t want to have to take medication for the rest of my life.  But  I also have two little boys to think about, who need their mommy healthy for the next 18 years.  So whatever the result is, I will process it, and make a decision. In the mean time I am going to read up on diet, and more natural things I can incorporate into my life- I figure it can’t hurt, and I will be taking a more proactive roll in my health. 

Thanks again for all the healing and positive e-mails and comments. I appreciate them so much.   As always- I will keep you posted.

**************************UPDATE*******************************

4-13-09

The hospital just called me back, and can fit me in this Wednesday afternoon.  I am glad the biopsy will be sooner than later.  Now if I can just stay calm between now and then.  🙂

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Cancer Health Me Mothering Parenting

Results from Ultrasound

Despite us having a major blizzard in Colorado, my doctor, Dr. T., was at work and called me with the results of the ultrasound on my thyroid today.

She said the ultrasound confirmed there is a nodule on the left part of my thyroid, as she suspected.  The doctor at the hospital, who read the ultrasound, suggests that I have a biopsy on the nodule to determine if it is cancerous or not. 

Dr. T. said nine times out of ten, it is nothing- it is like a benign cyst.  She also said they would be looking for anything atypical that would suggest the startings of something cancerous.  Dr. T. is sending my file to an ear, nose, and throat doctor in town, and as soon as he gets my file I will get the biopsy scheduled- I am hoping it can be as soon as next week.  I didn’t think to ask how long after the biopsy they would have results, but I am sure it can’t be more than a few days. 

I didn’t want to hear any of this.  I was wishing Dr. T. was going to say it was nothing- I just had an odd shaped thyroid.  But, since that isn’t the case, I have to take the next step.  I know it is for my health and the odds are in my favor.  Yet, I am terrified in that little place in the back of my mind.  Someone has to be that one person who isn’t okay.  Of course I hope that isn’t me, but what if it is? 

I can’t even really go there mentally right now.  Friends and family tell me not to assume the worst.  But when you are a mother, (or a father) it is so hard. How do you look at your precious children, and not wonder if you will be healthy for them?  How am I going to explain this to a five year old and a two-and-a-half year old if it comes down to that?  

I have way more questions than answers now, and all I can do is keep taking the steps to lead me to the point where I will have the answers I need. I just hope and pray they are the answers I am hoping for- that I am one of the nine, instead of that one.