synthroid – A Mama's Blog

Attitude & Medication

On Saturday, I took Ryan and Cole to the North Pole (a Christmas themed amusement park for kids), which is about 100 miles from my home. We spent the night at my dad’s house in Denver, and then drove the rest of the way outside Colorado Springs on Saturday. My sister, her daughter, my sister-in-law, and my dad came too. The weather was perfect, and the kids had the best time. Watching the kids having so much fun made the day for the adults.

The only negative aspect of the trip for me, was while I was unpacking at my dad’s house on Friday night, I discovered I had forgotten to bring my Synthroid (thyroid replacement medication) with me. The medication has to be taken every day in the morning, and we were staying until Sunday, so that meant two days without it.

I was wondering how I was going to feel by Sunday night. I wondered if I had enough built up in my system that I would hardly notice it, or if I would immediately start feeling tired, and out of energy.

On Saturday evening, after walking around the North Pole all day, I felt pretty much the same. I felt a little more tired than usual, but nothing I couldn’t handle. While my dad and the boys were enjoying a marshmallow roast in the backyard, I decided to go for a run; unsure if I would have enough energy for my usual Sunday run. I only planned to run until I got tired, but I was able to do 3.2 miles.

I had some plans with a friend for later on Saturday night, but I canceled- I decided it was more important to get a really good night’s rest. I woke up on Sunday, and I could tell right away I had missed the dose of Synthroid the previous day. I felt tired, and sluggish. I ate some protein for breakfast, hoping that would give me a boost, and my dad had a vitamin drink he gave me.

It was another beautiful Indian Summer day on Sunday, and the boys and I walked to a neighborhood park and played. After running around with the boys, walking, carrying Cole for part of the way home, and making lunch for them, I was out of energy. They boys played in the back yard, while I sat on the patio and watched them, and I felt like I was having a flashback to the summer. They played, and I sat and watched because that was all I could do.

It has been almost three months I have been on Synthroid, and I have never missed a dose. I also have felt wonderful since the day I started taking it. I absolutely hated sitting in that chair, feeling fatigued again, and knowing if I don’t take that tiny pill every day- the result is I end up out of energy- no matter what I do.

I let myself feel sad for a few minutes. Then I came to the final terms with not having a thyroid anymore and being on medication. It isn’t my first choice. I hate feeling like I am dependant on a medication in order to feel well. However, I am sure it will not be the only time in my life I will forget a dose.

As I watched my boys play, I knew it all comes down to my attitude and it always will. Other than canceling my plans on Saturday night, I did everything I had planned to do for the weekend- Synthroid or no Synthroid. I could have gotten a cold, or the flu, and felt even worse.

Living life to the fullest, after an illness takes some adjustments, but they are worth making, worth getting through. If not you give up. There isn’t anything that I can’t do for myself, or for my boys that I couldn’t do before my illness. If taking medication allows me to this, it is a small price to pay, and one I am happy to pay- over and over again.

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Cole, Maelin, & Ryan Flying 010

The Motorcycle Gang

016

025

001

Row of Fall Maple Trees in Denver

040

046

048

I am so happy today! Today is the the day I finally can take synthroid- the thyroid replacement hormone. It will have been just two days under two months, since I have been without any thyroid hormones in my body. I took my first one at 7AM. I will have to take this medication for the rest of my life.

The doctors tell me it is not a quick fix, and it is a gradual return to feeling better and normal. So I am not expecting to take one synthroid and be back to my “old self” but after this long of being in the hypothyroidism state, I am hopeful today the downwards trend I have been experiencing for the last eight weeks stops. It is very rare for the first dosage to be correct, so I am expecting to have to go through a few dosage adjustments as well.

My doctor also prescribed cytomel for two weeks, to “jump start” my system. I didn’t wake up one day and feel this tired, this fatigued- it was a definite gradual downward change- every day was a little worse than the last, so I am hoping that with feeling better it will be the same. As long as I feel a little better than the day before, I’ll feel like I am heading in the right direction. I have to have my blood tested in six weeks to check the dosage, but if I don’t feel better after a few days, I will be calling the endocrinologist.

Today is also the day I stop the low iodine diet. It was nice to eat so many fresh foods and vegetables- I am going to try to keep that part of the diet going, but it will be nice to have some milk with cereal, tea again, and I have been craving homemade popcorn with lots of butter on it. 🙂 I found the hardest part of the diet was just preparing the foods since I have been in the hypothyroidism state for so long.

I received my radioactive iodine therapy (in the form of a pill) on Monday, and I am radioactive as I write this. I can be around adults no more than 30 minutes at a time, but can’t place myself in a general population where there would be children, until Thursday. However, the nuclear medicine doctor, who administered the pill, strongly suggested that I am not around my boys for five to seven days. She said because of their ages, their cells are much more vulnerable to radioactivity, and it is hard for them to not climb on me, and keep an arms distance away.

I thought I was going to be able to see the boys on Thursday, and I am very sad and miss them like crazy, but under the circumstances, I agree with her. I don’t want to put my boys at risk and in the grand scheme of things, two more days is worth it, if it eliminates the risk they will be exposed to radiation. Their dad and his family have been taking care of the boys, and Ryan and Cole have been having a lot of fun.

I have been at home- really having no energy to do much. I have been reading, catching up on some paperwork, and I took a very short walk yesterday. It’s kind of weird thinking of myself being quarantined, but since I have very little energy I don’t feel like going anywhere.

This has really been the hardest thing I have ever had to do, physically. No energy, fatigue, no mental energy- that is how my body felt physically for so many weeks.

My family and friends told me to hang in there and not give up- there is light at the end of the tunnel. So many people told me I am stronger than I know. I didn’t believe them- I certainly didn’t feel strong. In fact, these last two months, is the weakest I have ever been, physically and mentally. But I learned there is nothing wrong with being weak- I can’t do it all- no one can, and being weak allowed me to accept this. Being at my weakest for so long, showed me that I am stronger than I knew, stronger than I believed.

I feel like today is my new beginning. I am finally at the end of this tunnel- and I just don’t see the light, I am in the light. I have discovered, that I am strong, but there is no shame in being weak either. Others could see that in me, and now I see it for myself. But more importantly, today, I believe it.