Last week, I dropped off Ryan’s kindergarten registration packet at the school he will be attending. It seemed surreal that in five months, my baby boy will be in kindergarten. When did he get that big? Where has the time gone?
I was talking to one of my friends, Melissa, whose son will also be starting kindergarten in August, and we were discussing how fast the time is going- much more so now, than even when they were babies. We were kidding that pretty soon our sons will be graduating from high school. I said then we will be look back and asking, didn’t it just seem like they were starting kindergarten?
Thinking about Ryan growing older, used to make me very sad. I wanted to keep him little forever. Sometimes I still do. There is nothing in the world that compares to cuddling your sweet, innocent, baby, and holding that life in your arms close to you- knowing that your baby is completely, and purely yours. I had so many moments like that with both Ryan and Cole, that I never wanted to end. I would still be holding them close to me if I could. Those baby days seem so long ago, and yet the memories of them are never distant in my mind. There is a saying regarding children, ‘the days are long, but the years are short,’ which I find very accurate.
I can’t keep my children babies forever, and they will start kindergarten, middle school, high school, college- and life, despite my wanting to still be sitting with them in a glider, holding them close, and rocking them to sleep. But as I see the little boy that Ryan has grown into, I can’t help but be happy he isn’t a baby anymore. Both boys are full of life, laughter, and energy- so much energy. They are growing into the people they are to become.
At night, Ryan hugs me goodnight, and doesn’t let go, even when I start to pull away, and Cole asks me to hold his hand, as he falls asleep. Despite the oldest boy starting kindergarten in a few short months, my heart fills with so much love for them, and I know that I still have my babies- the only thing that has changed is their size, and that is just as it should be.