Tag: lymph node cancer

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Cancer Health Me Mothering

Mini Break from Blogging

I am going to be taking a short “vacation” from blogging.  My cancer recovery is not going as fast as I had hoped, and right now I have to concentrate on resting and trying to heal.

I appreciate the e-mails so many thyroid cancer patients have sent me- those who have already been through it, and those who have just been newly diagnosed and have questions.  Feel free to send me an e-mail if you have any questions (my e-mail is on my Contact Me page),  and  I will respond to you as soon as  I can.

I have also archived all my cancer posts in the right hand side bar under “cancer” so you can read about my experience  and what I have learned so far, and hopefully you may find some answers to your questions in some of those posts. 

I am hoping my mini blogging break will be short lived, and I will be able to blog again in the very near future.  Right now though I need to concentrate on healing and getting my body ready for the radioactive iodine treatment it needs.

If you follow me on Twitter, I will try to post short updates there on how I am doing- that is much easier right now than writing a blog post, and of course if you are a Facebook friend I will see you around there.

As a final note for now, PLEASE have your health care provider check your thyroid at your annual exam.  If anything feels “off” get in for an ultrasound as soon as you can.  That saved me from having to have my neck totally dissected to remove the lymph nodes that the cancer had spread to.  My surgeon credited my nurse practitioner who caught it early and insisted I have an ultrasound.  In my opinion, I don’t think there is enough information out there informing women of thyroid cancer.

Thanks again for all the support you all have given me during this process.  I will be back stronger and healthier, and will share the rest of my thyroid cancer experience.  Cancer can happen to anyone- please take care of yourselves and follow up with anything you or your health care provider thinks is abnormal.

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Cancer Family & Friends Health Me Mothering Parenting

Thyroid Cancer- What is Next

I have been trying to follow my surgeon’s orders and take it easy and rest as much as possible since my thyroid surgery and neck dissection on June 12th.

I have been at my dad and step-mom, Jean’s, house recovering during this time while Ryan and Cole have been spending some scheduled vacation time with their dad.

My surgeon, Dr. S, had been right- the pain in my shoulder has been brutal.  I slept on it funny the other night and I couldn’t even raise my arm enough to comb my hair yesterday. 

The thyroid controls metabolism and my surgeon warned me that I could gain a lot of weight during this time, but the opposite seems to be happening. I have no appetite at all. Nothing sounds good, and some foods are making me sick to my stomach.  My appetite is gone- I have been drinking Ensure (another Dr. suggestion) and trying to eat. 

The pain medication makes me feel nauseated if I don’t eat, so I have been trying to eat as much as I can.   Some of my friends have pointed out that Ensure really isn’t much more than sugar and have been giving me some healthier suggestions on other sources of food and protein I can eat.  I am planning on trying these and will keep you updated on how that goes. 

I had an awful day on Tuesday.  I almost fainted while I was out walking.  I got hot and sweaty and felt like I was going to be sick.  I stopped into a store near my dad’s house and the sales lady helped me sit down, and got me some water.  I fortunately was only about half a block away from home, and made it back and laid down the rest of the afternoon.

Some days the pain is fine- I can go six or seven hours between pain medication, but the last few days, I think I have overdone it and now have been watching the clock for the every four hours until it is time for the medication again.

I have been doing the exercises the rehab. physical therapists have given me to do, and those help. I have been trying to help out around the house too, by doing small chores that use my shoulder, like cleaning mirrors and sweeping.

I can’t even imagine if I had to have the neck dissection on the right side of my neck like my Dr. originally thought.  It would be so much worse and I am grateful I am healing overall.  It is not as fast as I would like it to be though, but I am getting there. 

I have had so many kind e-mails and well wishes, and those help too.  I have had people ask me what is next so here is what I know at this point.

Ryan and Cole are going to come back to the house with me on July 5th, and my mom is coming in from Minnesota to stay with us for a few days to help me.  My wonderful friends have been mowing my lawn, doing some light housekeeping, and are going to cook some meals for us. 

I am planning on taking the time my mom is out here to get back into a routine with the boys and take advantage of her help and the help of my friends to get our lives back to “normal” as much as possible.

I want to do some fun things with the boys this summer- take them swimming, take them to the zoo, take them to the park, and take them to play-dates.  This sounds exhausting even as I write this but, I am determined, and I will take it one day at a time.

I have a follow up with my surgeon on July 9th, for him to check the scar and the overall healing from the surgery.  I could not be more thrilled on how how the scar is healing.  It is still looks awful to me but this is what it looked like last week:

scar-1_edited

I developed a rash to the antibiotic on the last day I had to take it so that is why my neck is red and shows the rash, but the scar had been that red.

On Monday, this is is what the scar looked liked:

scar-2_edited

The rash is fading and so is so much of the red from the scar.  I have been putting Neosporion on the incision every day, and I just received a product yesterday that I am going to blog more about- it is actually to heal C-section and other surgery scars, but I want to take pictures and document the scar healing before I blog more about it.

I meet with my endocrinologist on July 21st.  At that point they will tell me the diet I need to be on to get my body ready for the one dose of radioactive iodine I will have to take, in order to kill any remaining cancer cells in my lymph nodes.

For now, I am not on any special diet except for watching my iodine intake, no kelp, kale, or flax seed.  As I understand it for a few weeks, I will have to take in a lot of iodine, and then none at all for a few weeks in order to “starve” these cancer cells of iodine.  They warn me my hormones will be out of whack and I could become depressed (fair warning to everyone).

The thyroid is the only organ that can absorb iodine, so when I finally take the radioactive iodine my cells and lymph nodes will absorb up the iodine like crazy.  But since it will be poison, it is a very effective treatment in killing off any remaining thyroid cancer cells in my body.

I will have to be quarantined for about 48 hours, and not around anyone. I will have to take the radioactive iodine in the form of a pill. Depending on my blood work, the endocrinologist will determine how strong the treatment has to be.

Thankfully, since my pathology report from my surgery did show I have stage I papillary thyroid cancer, I can be quarantined at home, and not in the hospital.  Obviously my boys will go to their dad’s house during this time.

After the radioactive iodine, they will start me on the thyroid replacement hormone that I will have to take for the rest of my life.   I will also have to have ultrasounds and blood work every six months to watch for re-occurrences.  I am expecting to find out more details after I meet with the endocrinologist, but my chances for survival are excellent and since my surgeon was able to remove so many of my lymph nodes, he feels the chances of re-occurrences are very small.

I am still taking it day by day, but things are getting better for the most part every day as well.  I am not done with the process yet, and won’t ever really will be, but I know there is no other cancer in my body and the radioactive iodine will ensure no more cancer in my lymph nodes.

I know I have been saying this a lot, but I can’t just thank everyone enough for all the support. Thank you isn’t enough- but I hope the gratitude in my heart I have for all my family, friends, and well-wishers shines through. 

I’ll continue to keep you all posted, and in the meantime I hope everyone is having a fun, safe, and healthy summer with your families. 

Love, Heather

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Cancer Health Me

Cancer- A Range of Emotions

It has been six days since I found out the extent of the surgery I am facing for my thyroid and lymph node cancers.  Everyday the shock wears off a little more, but I think I am still in a state of disbelief.  Each day that  I have to think about it, is another day I have to think about it and live with cancer.   I want to stop thinking about it, but I can’t.  I can’t turn my brain off.

As far as the actual condition my body will be in after the surgery, I feel  like I can live with most of them. I can handle the pain.  I can handle a scar-even if it a U shaped one.  I can handle shoulder rehab.  I can handle being on a restricted diet for six weeks to prepare my body for the radioactive iodine.  I can handle gaining weight and becoming depressed because of this diet.  Of course, these aren’t things I want- but I can put my mind around them and realize in the grand scheme of things, they aren’t that bad.  With the help of my family and friends, I will get through it.

I can’t handle thinking about how I am going to be numb from my earlobes to my collar bone.  That makes me cry just thinking about it.  My boys hug me around my neck.  I like my neck rubbed.  I like my neck kissed, and it seems like a very big loss, to realize I am never going to feel those sensations again.   I realize it might not be as bad as I am thinking, and over time, I might gain some feeling back again.  But right now it is a causality that I have to mourn.

I have been terrified thinking about the surgery- those last few minutes that I am awake.  What if that is it for me?  What if I never wake up? 

When I do wake up, I am dreading being in the hospital for so long.  I have never been away from my boys for longer than three days.  I might have to be away from them from seven days.  That seems like a life-time.  I am so worried about what kind of toll this is having on them, and for me to go away for seven days- my heart breaks thinking about it. 

I have been wondering if the cancer is anywhere else in my body.   How do I know this hasn’t spread?  My dad suggested that I call my doctor and ask him.  I did on Monday.  They told me that the endocrinologist usually handles this aspect of the case.  But they recommended I have a PET CT Scan as soon as possible from my brain to my legs, to find out for sure so they can answer that question for me.  I am scheduled for this on Friday.

I let my mind go there for about half an hour on Monday- the major, “What if?”  What if the cancer is in the rest of my body?     

I feel like I am on auto-pilot.  Get through the days so I can go get the PET CT Scan, and then get through the days so I can have the results to that, and then get through the days to the pre-opt appointment, and then get through two more days to the surgery.  Somewhere in between there, I am trying to keep a positive attitude and be strong.  And hope, with everything that I have, that the cancer has not spread past my lymph nodes.

So I try to get through each hour.  I have stayed very busy.  I am exhausted but I keep going.  When it is quiet, and I don’t have enough to do, then the thoughts I don’t want to think about, start creeping in my mind.  I wish the surgery was tomorrow.  I think waiting around for that day to come, is one of the hardest parts.  I have to keep managing my emotions and thoughts until June 12th. 

But as bad as I feel at times, there has also been such an out-pouring of support and love.  I never imagined this- never imagined the small things so many people do for me every day, to help the day be a little better, and a little happier. 

I decided not to get a second opinion after talking to my family about it.  My aunt Laura, has been an intensive care cardiac nurse for over 20 years in for a major hospital in Denver.  Laura will tell you how it is- nicely of course- and sometimes not so nice.  🙂  When talking to her she came out and said it- I have cancer.  She said she had been looking at different treatment options besides surgery, and there aren’t any.  She said I have it, and I have to get it out- what my doctor proposed is the treatment, and it is effective. 

I told her I felt confident with what my doctor told me, and she told me that was half the battle- finding a surgeon you feel comfortable and confident with.   Laura says that affects the outcome of the surgery. I knew I had already found that doctor, and I felt happy I didn’t have to be searching for another doctor right now.  Laura spent a lot of time looking up information for me, and relating it to me in a non-medical way I could understand. 

One thing my doctor, Dr. S.,  told me I could do to be proactive before the surgery was get an appointment with an endocrinologist.  Dr. S., gave me the name of the endocrinologist, Dr. M.,  his wife sees, who also has thyroid cancer.  I felt my time would be better spent doing this, than trying to find another doctor to look at my case, and end up telling me the same thing anyway. 

I was told when I called Dr. M, that he was too booked up and he was not going to be able to take me as a patient.  I was getting motivated to try to find another one, when his office called me today and said Dr. S., had called them and told them he had referred me.  They told me I could meet with an associate doctor of Dr. M’s., for the initial appointment and then from that point on, Dr. M., would be my endocrinologist.  They told me as long as the doctor met with me before six weeks post-opt, that was fine.  I have an appointment in July- a few days shy of the six-week mark.  I am not sure what changed, but I am thankful that Dr. S., made the referral for me, and I am now a patient of endocrinologist I wanted. 

As far as my neck, my sister, Mara, told me her knee has been numb for 12 years-ever since her knee surgery.  She says she can’t feel a very light touch on her knee, but she feels pain on it.  She said the numbing would get better.  My sister-in-law, Kat’s, left side of her back is numb from back surgery she had ten years ago.  Evidently I will fit right in. 

My friends Amy, and Kathie, helped me find a great relaxation meditation CD for surgery.  I have been listening to this since Sunday night, and I am falling asleep much easier, and I am starting to feel calmer about the surgery. 

As far as Ryan and Cole go, all I can do is love them and tell them that.  I tell them that much more than I used to.  I am also receiving a lot more hugs and kisses from them.  They know I am going to the hospital and we talk about that.  I keep it very light and very basic with them.  But,  I feel it is very important that they know why I am going to be away from them, where I am going, and that I am going to be just fine.  My children don’t need to know every detail about my health and they are not at an age where they can comprehend it all.  But they do know that Mommy has to have an operation at the hospital, and they deserve to have their questions and feelings answered and acknowledged. 

My family and friends have been there to listen to me talk about my fears about  all of this- the good, the bad, and everything in between,  In the end, they all tell me I am going to be fine.  In my heart I believe that. 

I have realized during these last six days, I do have a choice- I can choose to be depressed and sad, or I can choose to be hopeful and positive.  No matter how many bad days I have between now and then.  No matter how scared I am.  No matter how much I wish this wasn’t happening.  I am going to beat this cancer and be healthy again- no matter what.    

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.  ~Christopher Reeve