Today is my surgery day- the day I have a complete thyroidectomy and neck dissection to remove the cancer in my thyroid and lymph nodes. This isn’t the end of this, but the beginning- the beginning to get this out of my body.
I have written a lot over the past few months about my feelings and thoughts with cancer. I have many more I haven’t written. I have experienced every emotion, and then some. I discovered the strength people saw in me that I didn’t see in myself. Through their eyes, I have discovered that strength for myself.
I can’t thank everyone enough for all the positive comments, prayers, love, and support you have shown me during this time. I wouldn’t be feeling so optimistic about the surgery today and my future, if it wasn’t for all of you- my family, and my loved ones.
Today is the major step I have to take to get from being a cancer patient to a cancer survivor. This is the first of many steps, but I am ready. I have done what I needed to do to prepare, and now it is time to turn it over to the highly competent people who have the medical knowledge to help me become cancer free.
I feel at peace, confident, and nervous. I never in a million years imagined I would be facing a surgery of this magnitude, but in life we don’t always get to chose the direction it takes us in. I have found so many positive things in this experience as well, and I will share those in another blog post in the future.
Please keep my family and myself in your thoughts and prayers today. The surgery is going to be anywhere from 7-12 hours long. My good friend, Amy, (aka Crunchy Domestic Goddess) will update my blog and my Twitter account for me when she can, since it will be several days before I am able to blog again. Please keep Ryan and Cole in your prayers too. I am not sure how many days it will be before I am well enough to see them, and that will be one thing that will be motivating me for a fast recovery in the hospital.
Tonight my sister, Vanessa, gave me card. It said on the front of it, “everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” That made me laugh and it is true. This isn’t the end for me- just a very big obstacle, but one that is not hopeless.
This surgery is hope for me, and is hope that I will recover and remain cancer free for my family and friends. There has been some awful, awful dark days – days where I wanted to give up, but my family and friends wouldn’t let me. Their amazing support got me through those days, and in that I found reasons to try another day and hope things would get better.
I love you all, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for not just being there for me through this, but taking it on as well for me. Thank you for giving me hope, when I couldn’t find it myself. I am going to end this blog post with a quote I found a few days ago- you all helped me find that hope.
When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~ Unknown