I know I said I was going to take a mini break from blogging, but I miss it. It is a good outlet for me, so I am changing my mind and deciding I just am not going to be able to blog as much as I have in the past.
During the last week, I have noticed the lack of hormones kick in- just as my Dr. said they would. I was never very hormonal when pregnant, but in a a way I feel like I am now. I will be happy and fine, and then for no reason I will just start crying for ten minutes, really hard- and then I will be feeling fine again, until the next time it happens. Not knowing when this is going to happen is hard- especially around my boys. They ask me why I am crying and I tell them it is just part of mommy having to get well again.
I have been able to do almost all the rehab exercises for my shoulder, except for a few where I am supposed to hang my neck down. That just hurts too much to do it right now, and my Dr. said don’t do any of the exercises that cause pain. Just trying to keep up with a house and two boys is giving my shoulder a good workout. I am trying to do light chores with it- ones that don’t hurt but ones that I can use the muscles.
I have been able to cut my pain medication into about half the dosage- it says I can take one every four hours, but I am finding I can go about six to eight hours between one. The other day, I tried cutting them out all together and just taking Advil. OUCH! Clearly I am not ready for that, but I feel when my current perscription of pain medication is gone, I will hopefully be ready to just be on ibuprofen. I have had wonderful friends do yard work, and stop by with flowers and food, and of course my family has been there every step of the way too. I know that has contributed in my being able to rest and not overdo it.
I meet with the endocrinologist next week to find out what I have to do prepare for the radioactive iodine treatment I need, and I know that is going to involve my diet. I haven’t had much of an appetite at all. My doctor said usually after surgery, most patients gain weight because the thyroid controls your metabolism. That has been the opposite for me. I have been forcing down light foods like chicken, pasta salads, tuna, yogurt, and cheese. But nothing sounds good to eat. I have even stopped drinking coffee in the morning. If you know me you know I LOVE coffee, but the thought of smelling coffee actually makes me nauseous.
I slept for almost 14 hours yesterday and woke up and felt like I hadn’t slept at all- another aspect the thyroid controls. So I feel tired all the time. I get bouts of energy where I will do what needs to be done, and then I am pretty much wiped out for the day.
My sister had her annual exam yesterday and she made them check her thyroid. They said it felt fine, but they were going to test her levels anyway in view of my situation, which made me happy. I have talked to a lot of people who have never had their thyroids felt during their exams. As I wrote here, and as everyone told me, if you have to have cancer, thyroid cancer is the “best” one to have, but it is still cancer. I didn’t have to have the neck dissection on both sides of my neck, because of early detection.
But my neck aches every minute of the day. It feels like my neck was cut off, and sewn back on. There is no good cancer to have- I am grateful mine is so treatable and the survival rate is so high, but having your thyroid out (and lymph nodes as well in my case) is not something you ever want to have to go through.
I plan to write an amazing review of a scar healing product that was sent to me, but I want to devote an entire post to that, but I have been truly amazed by it. I am going to post some updated pictures of my scar, because I feel this is life- cancer happens, and people do recover.
I lost someone who I thought was a friend, over my posting my cancer surgery pictures from my blog, but the e-mails from people that are experiencing cancer themselves, or have just found out they have thyroid cancer has been overwhelming. Not a day goes by without someone sending me an e-mail, thanking me for sharing my story, because it has helped them, or someone they love who is dealing with thyroid cancer.
My goal in posting my cancer story, pictures, and recovery is not to be gross, or muster up sympathy for myself, but to help people realize that it is a condition that you can be treated for and recover from. It is not a pleasant experience, but you can recover. I recently read something I really liked about cancer- it said, “Cancer is a word- not a sentence,” and I feel that is so true. Life hands us experiences, like cancer, we never expect, but the body, mind, and spirit can recover- and it does.
If looking at scar pictures bother you, please don’t look any further. I plan to have more pictures when I write the review of the scar healing product but for now, here is how my scar is doing:
Scar on June 26, 2009
Scar on July 15, 2009
I know I sound like a broken record, but I just can’t thank everyone enough for the love and support that you continue to send my way. It helps me more than you will ever know- Thank you.