children growing older – A Mama's Blog

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For most bloggers, deciding how much to share of your life is a question that is always in the back of our minds. For me personally, I don’t mind sharing details about me, but I have been thinking a lot lately about sharing details about my boys- Ryan and Cole.

When I started A Mama’s Blog, I wanted a place I could record events that happened with my children, so I would always remember them. As my children grow older, I realize that my blog can’t really serve that purpose anymore.

As Ryan and Cole grow, I have decided that I don’t want to write about those details anymore. While these details might be interesting and helpful to others, I also feel very strongly, since Ryan and Cole are not babies anymore, somehow their experiences are not mine to share.

I started my blog for love I have for my boys, and I never want to violate that. As my children grow, their experiences are personal. They may or may not care one day that I wrote about a certain event that I found cute, or funny, or that I thought was worth sharing. However, they might. They may be embarrassed, or fail to understand why I had to share on my blog their experiences- whether that would be something that happened on the first day of kindergarten, or a sweet moment we had.

Right now Ryan and Cole are at an age, where they don’t understand blogging. Maybe one day, when they understand it, they can give me permission to share excerpts from their life, and I will feel fine on sharing those with my readers. Their trust is the most important thing, and I never want them to look back and realize things they may have told me in their minds as a confidence, I turned around and blogged about.

I plan to still share updates, milestones, and stories in general about my boys, but in a way that respects their privacy.

This will change the focus of A Mama’s Blog. I have always been passionate about information on C-sections and maternal health. I plan to keep writing on those subjects. I also hope to start writing about women’s issues more.

I have not formally announced it, but I think the timing is right to let my readers know that my husband (Joe) and I are in the process of getting divorced. This has been in progress for several months now. The divorce should be final by the end of the summer.

I won’t be able to share personal details of the divorce or specifics, but I will share my perspective, feelings, and experience with it in time.

I am excited the new direction A Mama’s Blog will be taking and I value each and every one of my readers. I know many of you have been with me from the beginning, and have read my blog faithfully for almost two-and-a-half years now. I will do my best to keep you as a reader, and thank you all for your loyalty and support.

Where Has the Time Gone?

Last week, I dropped off Ryan’s kindergarten registration packet at the school he will be attending. It seemed surreal that in five months, my baby boy will be in kindergarten. When did he get that big? Where has the time gone?

I was talking to one of my friends, Melissa, whose son will also be starting kindergarten in August, and we were discussing how fast the time is going- much more so now, than even when they were babies. We were kidding that pretty soon our sons will be graduating from high school. I said then we will be look back and asking, didn’t it just seem like they were starting kindergarten?

Thinking about Ryan growing older, used to make me very sad. I wanted to keep him little forever. Sometimes I still do. There is nothing in the world that compares to cuddling your sweet, innocent, baby, and holding that life in your arms close to you- knowing that your baby is completely, and purely yours. I had so many moments like that with both Ryan and Cole, that I never wanted to end. I would still be holding them close to me if I could. Those baby days seem so long ago, and yet the memories of them are never distant in my mind. There is a saying regarding children, ‘the days are long, but the years are short,’ which I find very accurate.

I can’t keep my children babies forever, and they will start kindergarten, middle school, high school, college- and life, despite my wanting to still be sitting with them in a glider, holding them close, and rocking them to sleep. But as I see the little boy that Ryan has grown into, I can’t help but be happy he isn’t a baby anymore. Both boys are full of life, laughter, and energy- so much energy. They are growing into the people they are to become.

At night, Ryan hugs me goodnight, and doesn’t let go, even when I start to pull away, and Cole asks me to hold his hand, as he falls asleep. Despite the oldest boy starting kindergarten in a few short months, my heart fills with so much love for them, and I know that I still have my babies- the only thing that has changed is their size, and that is just as it should be.