Tag: C-section

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Breastfeeding c-sections Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

C-Sections- Five Years and Beyond- (Part 1)

Cross Posted on BlogHer

Five years has past since my first and only C-section.  I shared my experience, and my feelings about my C-section last week in the post, My C-section- Five Years Later.  This was the third part in a series of C-section posts I have written.  The first post in the series, The Reality of C-sections, has generated a wide variety of thoughts, feelings, and comments.  One comment that kept coming up was, my experience was only one out of millions.  Some readers felt that in no way, was my experience the only reality of a C-section. 

I agree.  No two C-sections are the same, just as no two births are the same.  I decided to interview a random sample of women, who had given birth by C-section five years ago or longer.  I wanted to find out how women felt about their C-sections after time had passed.  

I put the call out on Twitter, for any woman willing to answer my questions about their C-section, five years ago or longer.  At the time, I had about 2,500 followers, and posted the tweet over several days, at different times, hoping to get a wide range of women who would respond.  Some asked what angle I was looking for, but I told them the truth- I wasn’t looking for any angle- I just wanted their true feelings and thoughts.  Ten women answered my questions.     

 I was fascinated, surprised, shocked, and shed a few tears over their C-section experiences.  I have struggled on how to present their stories to you, and have decided not to.  I am going to let their own words tell you their experiences.

Brenna lives in Oregon, and owns Clementinenw.com.  Jane (not her real name) asked to remain anonymous, and is the owner of  a family magazine.  Kristi has an on-line shop, Zuzugirlhandmade.com. Emily, was the first woman to respond to my request.  Renae blogs at Life Nurturing Education.  Beth G. is the owner of the site, Confessions of a Mom. Justine runs the website, JulianArts, which provides state-of-the-heart-education during the birth years and beyond.  Beth S. blogs at Savvy Saving Mom.   Natalie, who lives in Texas, and blogs at Tell Me About It, and Jill blogs at Writing My Life One Blog at a Time.

This post is broken into two parts.  Here is part one of these women’s experiences with their C-sections:

How did you feel about your birth experience with your C-section, during the first year post-partum?

Brenna– “I was disappointed that it didn’t work out the way that I had wanted though, [I] felt that there were several circumstances that stacked the cards against me. I didn’t have my doctor as she was out of town. They had to induce with Pitocin because my water broke and labor did not really start on its own. I felt like my water broke before my son was ready to be born. Because of those things I wondered if everything was done in the best way for me and my son, although I tried not to play “what if” too much since I couldn’t go back and change anything. I did feel very lucky to have had a happy and healthy baby.”

Jane– “I was always sad when I thought about it because the hospital where it was performed kept Mom and baby apart during recovery. I didn’t get to hold my baby for more than 5 hours after he was born. And while I was in recovery, my husband kept coming in to check on me and I got so mad at him for leaving our baby alone!!! I was beside myself that our little one had only been on this planet for a few hours and he was all by himself!!! Right after he was born in the operating room, they put him by my face – but I couldn’t touch him – arms are stabilized. Very, very sad. I licked his little head a little bit – just so I could make contact with him.”

Kristi– “I went through a terribly long and painful labor with inadequate medical attention.  My first c-section came at a point in the labor that I was so exhausted and  scared and really just wanted the baby out.  I did not have any regrets and honestly didn’t think about it much!”

Emily– “For the most part I felt ok about my birth experience with my C-section during that first year after it. I went through a few moments every so often where I thought that I hadn’t gone through real labor and therefore may have missed something. But those moments were few and far between.”

Justine– “I was pretty traumatized. I really felt (and still do) that the OB was trying to “teach me a lesson” about my situation. I was a teen mother, but a well informed one. I wanted natural childbirth, and planned to breastfeed…etc. I asked a lot of questions and didn’t really care if the OB liked me or not. He gave me a vertical outer incision, for no reason that anyone has been able to explain since. It runs from my navel to my pubic bone and is still very raised, bright red, puffy, and ropey even 20 years later.  When any health care provider sees it, they usually gasp and ask if i was in an accident. When i tell them that it is from my c/s, a few have accused me of lying. They say “no doctor would do that” But indeed, one did. At my 6 week visit, when i asked if the scar was going to heal alright, the OB said “well, i guess motherhood isn’t going to be as fun and glamorous as you thought it was” Nice guy.  So, it is really difficult for me to separate the c/s from the treatment from the OB. He was judgmental and rude, and I can’t help but feel that he acted out his judgment on my belly and created a scenario in which his predictions about my parenting abilities would be likely to come true.”

Did you suffer from complications from your C-section? (infections, torn stitches, long recovery, numbness, pain, emotional issues, etc.)

Renae– “I did not have any medical issues with my first c-section. (After my 3rd, [c-section] infection set in.)  Having a c-section was the opposite of the birth I planned though, so disappointment resided in my heart for awhile. It didn’t take long for that to slip away. It was worth it to give my son every chance for life.”

Jill– “1996 numbness lasted months. Still have some parts that are not fully recovered. 2003 infection from incision, pulled stitches.”

Natalie– “After my first C-section I had some major gas issues.  I know that is a problem after many deliveries, but it was bad.  They kept telling me if I would pass gas they would feed me real food instead of just broth.  I just couldn’t do it.  I ended up having a procedure to help alleviate the pain I was in.  I also ran a fever. 

There was some numbness in the scar area after all of them, but it wasn’t anything different from what one would feel after any other invasive surgery.

My 4th and final C-section came with complications.  After each successive C-section scar tissue built up.  It took longer to get to the babies each time.  During my final C-section I was given a spinal instead of an epidural.  That was different than all the other deliveries.  Right after they gave me the shot the woman in the room next to me needed to have an emergency C-section right then.  We had the same doctor so he went to deliver her baby.  When he came back they checked me to make sure I was still numb.  I gave them the go ahead to proceed with the surgery.  Unfortunately because there was so much scar tissue in the way of the baby I started to feel things way before the surgery was over.  When they actually got to my daughter I felt like my insides were being ripped out.  The poor anesthesiologist felt horrible.  He got a shot ready to put in the IV to put me out completely as soon as they had her out.  I was having a tubal ligation as well so it was still going to be a bit before my surgery was done.  I saw my daughter for a couple of seconds before I fell asleep.  I don’t remember how long it was before I actually had a chance to hold my daughter, but since it was my 4th C-section I knew I would have plenty of time with her.  Those first couple of hours weren’t going to make or break our relationship.”

Beth G.– “No, I didn’t have any complications.”

Beth S.– “I remember feeling a little “ripped off” after the fact, for not having the total birth experience. But it was always a vanishing thought because I knew that the C-Section had become necessary and was done for all the right reasons. My overwhelming joy toward my first born always overpowered any thoughts of sadness or negativity.”

Do you feel your C-section interfered at all or delayed bonding with your baby?

Justine– “YES! Although I was committed to breastfeeding, the nurses had already bottle fed my son several time before I saw him. They fed him sugar water, and formula, and sterile water…it was terrible. And frankly, i was too drugged up to do much about it. That episode of impotence set the tone for many weeks of my early parenting experience. I looked to experts to give me the final answer when it came to parenting choices because I had no faith in my body, there was almost no trust between my baby and I, and it was so hard. Finally, I found a LLL and began to strengthen my skills. Thank goodness! But it was only once I ditched the medical model that parenting became anything but this overwhelming, scary responsibility. I found my footing, and my son and I got on track. I still wonder if and how it might have damaged our long term relationship though.”

Jill– “No, not really. With the 1996 [c-section] I had difficulty breastfeeding. It lasted 4 weeks and [then we] gratefully switched to formula. I bonded better with the baby once I was not in pain from breastfeeding and the c-section.

Brenna– “I really don’t. I was able to breastfeed my son within the first hour, which I think helped immensely. He also stayed in the room with us at all times. Luckily my husband was great and was able to change him and bring him to me when I wanted. I just held him for most of the time until I got too tired. We bonded very quickly.”

Renae– “Yes. My son was whisked to the neonatal unit 2 hours away, and I had to stay in the hospital to recover.”

Beth S.– “They brought me my son while I was in recovery, but I was so out of it that I couldn’t totally enjoy that small moment that we had. I took comfort sending my husband out to go be with him until I was fully awake and in my room. Yeah, I was unhappy about that! In that sense, the bonding was delayed. But there were no repercussions from that except for my own unhappiness. I didn’t get to nurse him until the next day either, but that didn’t cause any physical or latching on problems. Just my own discontent!”

 How long was it after your C-section before you felt “back to normal?”

Kristi– “It was much harder to recover from my first c-section in ’03.  They used big metal staples that had to be removed.  I had far more pain the first time around and spent four days in the hospital.  The second time around I was begging to leave on day three and they let me go.  I did not take any pain killers after leaving the hospital with either birth.  It’s hard to recall but I think the pain getting up and down lasted about two weeks.”

Natalie– “Well I felt mostly fine as soon as I got home.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  With my 2nd I was the maid of honor in a wedding 11 days later.  I was sore of course, but I didn’t let the fact that I had a C-section stop me from doing what I wanted.  I had my 3rd C-section on a Tuesday and was in church on Sunday.  Other than a few headaches I recovered fairly quickly.”

Emily– “I don’t remember but I didn’t feel like it was awful. It was definitely a number of weeks. Because I never had anything but a C-section I have little to compare my recovery to, but I do know that the epidural I had during the first one took much longer to recover from than the spinal block I got for my second one. At the time of my first C-section I lived in a three-story apartment: door on ground level, kitchen on second level, bedrooms and bathrooms on top level. So that whole you can’t walk up and down stairs thing really wasn’t working for me.”

Beth S.– “I think it took a while! For the longest time I kept feeling like my insides might fall out if I got up wrong! I remember slowly starting to do things again like cleaning the house, etc. I probably took longer out of my own fears.”

Justine– “It was about a year before I felt like I was used to the new state of things. I lost the “weight” within a few months, but the scar was/is a lingering issue for me. I have spent 20 years being deeply embarrassed and ashamed of my stomach…so “back to normal” for me never happened. But I was able to participate in exercise and normal activities without pain within 6 months.”

Was your C-section planned or scheduled?

Jill– “The first was unplanned, but not an emergency.  The second and third were planned.”

Renae– “Emergency c-section. I was not awake for the birth of my baby and didn’t see him until I was released from the hospital 3 days later.”

Justine– “No. My waters broke at 6am. I was making progress and had reached 6cms by about 5:30pm that night. However, ‘hospital policy’ at the time was that there was a 12 hour time limit on ruptured membranes. I had the c-section at 6pm and the staff got to get home by 7pm on a Saturday night.  How convenient!”

Emily– “My C-section was an emergency. I was given cervadilon Monday evening, threw up all night long, was given pitocin on Tuesday morning, started pushing sometime around Jeopardy, pushed for an hour, he wouldn’t turn his head in the right direction (he wasn’t breech, but was facing up when she should have been facing down), so the doctor told me I should just go for the C-section.”

Beth S.- “Mine was not planned. According to my Dr., my son was 10 days overdue and his amniotic fluid was lessening. I went to the hospital for a stress test after which time they decided to admit me to induce labor. I was induced for a day with no results. My son started showing signs of distress on the heart monitor, so it was decided that a C-Section was necessary.”

I will have the second part of these interviews posted next week.  Please check back, and I would love to hear any comments you have.  Feel free to share your own experiences as well.

Categories
c-sections Cole Health Me Mothering Pregnancy & Birth Ryan

My C-section-Five Years Later

Ryan, my oldest son, turned five in January.  It also marked the fifth anniversary of my only major surgery- a Cesarean or C-section.

I have written and shared my experience with my C-section in a few posts.  The post, The Reality of C-Sections, is by far, the most read post on my blog.  It averages 700 page views a month.  Its follow up post, Recovering After a C-Section, is the third highest read post on A Mama’s Blog. 

In the fifteen months since I wrote The Realty of C-Sections, the comments have varied a lot- from readers supporting my views, and expressing similar experiences, to readers who have nothing but the most positive and wonderful C-section experiences.  There were many readers who felt I was portraying all C-sections in a negative light, and I was scaring women.  I added a prelude to the post in September, to address this issue. 

The comments have shown me that no two women’s birth experiences are the same.  It has also taught me that no matter what side of this issue you fall on, the feelings involved are real, and authentic.  Finally, by the amount of page views these posts receive, there is a lot of interest in the subject.    

Five years later, I still feel that my C-section should not have happened.  Ryan was breech, and that was the only reason for my C-section.  Years ago, breech babies were delivered vaginally.   Breech deliveries were no big deal, and doctors performed breech deliveries all the time.  It seems unconscionable in the 2000’s, doctors are no longer being taught breech deliveries in medical school, and the only option offered when a baby is breech, is major abdominal surgery.  I feel like the medical community failed me in this regard.  An OB/GYN ought to be able to perform a vaginal breech baby delivery, if there are no other reasons warranting a C-section, besides the baby being in a breech position.  

I am still resentful that the medical community approaches breech baby births as a “problem” which the only solution for is major surgery.  This is a huge psychological aspect that has taken me a long time to resolve.  No one has major surgery unless there is a major problem.  Having a baby in a breech position, usually does not present a major medical issue in itself.   Having been there, I heard a C-section is the only safe way to deliver my breech baby, and it subconsciously affected me. It frightened me.  I thought if my baby was born breech, it was not safe.  It also made me feel like there was something wrong with me and my body because my baby would not turn. The only way to “fix” this was to have major surgery. 

My doctor told me after Ryan was born that his umbilical cord was short, and it was wrapped around his wrist several times, more than likely preventing him to turn.  She told me there was a reason he didn’t turn.  That amazed me.  Thinking about that over the months, I came to realize that my body and Ryan’s body were working exactly as they should be.  There was no “problem.”  His cord was too short and if he had kept trying to turn, he could have gotten the cord even more twisted around him.  I can’t be sure, but I believe there is something in a baby that if it can’t make that turn it knows it is not safe to do so.  By Ryan not turning and remaining in a breech position, it probably prevented more complex problems.  I don’t understand why doctors can say something like this after a birth, but before the birth it is presented as a problem and a high risk delivery.

I am mad at myself that I accepted a C-section was the solution to this “problem.”  I wish I would have done more research and had more confidence in my body.  But in the state I live in, Colorado, even midwives cannot attend a birth that they know is breech- it is against the law.  It still makes me sad that we have come to this point, where more or less, a woman’s only choice for delivering a known breech baby is a C-section. I am still upset for the time I lost to the recovery.  I felt so bad for so long, and had so much pain.  Even five years later, if I move in a different way, I feel pain in my abdomen. 

However, I don’t think about the C-section as much as I used to.   All numbness in the scar area has faded.  I was really worried I was going to be numb at the incision point forever.  All the redness at the incision site is gone too.  Today, it is a very small, thin, white line. I barely notice it anymore. 

But the biggest affect on me from my C-section, to be perfectly honest, was I felt cheated out of the birth experience. I know not every woman feels this, but I did.  I wanted to experience childbirth by being in labor, and I feel it was taken away from me.  The experience of childbirth- with my first baby- I will never get that again.  I lost that, not because of a true medical emergency, but because of the way the birthing business is run today.  I was left to process it, and to make peace with the experience I did have. 

One of the biggest events that helped me in this regard was attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) with my second son, Cole, in 2006.  I was in labor for over 40 hours. I hadn’t slept during this time.  I had a few complications arise.  I was “stuck” at 4 cm. for several hours, and Cole was faced the wrong way for birth.  I was told if I wasn’t dilated to 10 cm. in the next hour, and if Cole hadn’t flipped back around.  I would be facing a C-section.  When I heard that, something that was more powerful than a surgeon’s knife kicked in, and I told myself I could do it.  My husband and doula encouraged me too.  I knew at this point I had to be strong and confident, and this time it was up to me how my baby was going to be born.     

After the hour was up- I knew.  I knew before the nurse checked me that I would be at 10 cm. and Cole’s head would be in the right position for birth, and it was.  They told me it was remarkable after being “stuck” for so long, that I was now fully dilated. 

I pushed with Cole for two hours. It was the hardest thing, physically, I have ever done.  My contractions lasted two to three minutes, and they told me they normally last about 30 seconds.  When I thought I couldn’t push anymore, I would feel another contraction, and I had to find it in me to push again.  Even though I was beyond exhausted, I knew my body was made for this, and I could do it.  I never knew I had that kind of physical endurance.  But that endurance that was in me all along.  It gave me the strength to keep going- to keep pushing- because I had to.  That endurance and strength brought me to the end, when the doctor told me to give one more push, and Cole was born.

I have never felt more proud of myself, and my body.  I was able to hold Cole right away and look over all his miraculous details.  I wasn’t tired anymore. I was euphoric. These feelings felt normal, natural, and the way it should be.  Not lying in a recovery room by myself without my baby, groggy, and barely able to move.   

I called my mom, who has four of her own children- all delivered naturally.  I cried on the phone with her as I told her I had done it- no C-section this time.  I will never forget what she said to me: “Isn’t it gratifying?  To be able to give birth to your baby- there is nothing that made me feel more powerful as a woman.”  That was exactly how I felt. Not every woman needs to feel this way, but I did.  A C-section did not allow me to experience this natural process. 

When C-sections are performed as routine, and not reserved for true medical emergencies, I feel it takes a piece of something away from women that is sacred.  The right to experience what our bodies were made to do.  The experience of childbirth can build enormous confidence in yourself, and in your body.  For some women (like myself and my mom), it goes deeper- to very essence of our power as women.  This should not be taken lightly, and I feel as the C-section rates continue to increase in this country, women are losing this right and experience. 

Having had both a C-section and a vaginal birth, I would compare my experience, to hiking up a difficult mountain you have never hiked before.  You want to climb this mountain, but it seems impossible.  It is intimidating and you aren’t sure how you are going to do it.  Many “experts”  in mountain climbing tell you it is very hard, and there could be many complications and problems.   However, many people have climbed this mountain before you, and will climb it after you.  You start to think that maybe you can do it too.  You prepare, you read up on the mountain, you buy the appropriate gear, and you take classes to help you prepare.  You have confidence that you will be able to make it to the top.  You know it won’t be easy, but you are ready to try.

Then a climbing “expert” stops you, before you even begin.  He or she tells you that you are endangering your life, because you don’t have the proper hiking boots.  They tell you this is a serious problem. You become scared.  You believe them- after all, they are the expert.  The climbing expert never offers you the proper pair of hiking boots,  but they make it very clear, the only safe way to summit the mountain is if they get a helicopter and fly you to the top.  Somehow this seems like overkill, and doesn’t really make sense, but after all- they are the expert, so you believe them, and do what they suggest.

The flight up the mountain goes fine and you are safe.  You are finally at the summit, and yet the experience doesn’t feel whole.  As you see others climbing up the mountain,  and reaching the summit, you wonder if you really could have made it, by hiking.  Even though you are happy you made it to the summit, you wonder what the experience would have been like, if you had been “allowed” to try- if you had the proper pair of hiking boots.  

I am so grateful that my VBAC was successful with Cole. It gave me back the experience of hiking to the summit of the mountain myself- which I had not been allowed to do with Ryan’s birth.  I know I can do it, and that knowledge gave me power within, that will always be with me.     

I realize I am only one person-one mother- and these are my feelings five years after my C-section.  I have interviewed several women, who have also had C-sections five years or more ago, and I will share with you their thoughts, experiences, and feelings. They are fascinating, and I plan on having the post up next Thursday.

As always, please feel free to share your own experiences, and thoughts.  Birth is different for everyone, and I think there is a great benefit in being able to share our different experiences in a respectful manner.

Categories
c-sections Current Events Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

Insurers Denying Coverage to Women Who’ve Had C-sections

If you have read my blog for a while, you know that I write frequently about c-sections.  It is my opinion that Cesarean sections are over performed in this country.  Previous posts I have written, discuss many of the complications that can arise from c-sections.  Despite the many risks and complications associated with c-sections, the c-section rate continues to rise.  Last year in the US, it was 31.1 percent of births.  That is a little more than one in three births.

The New York Times had an article on Sunday reporting that many insurance companies will no longer accept mothers who have had a previous c-section.  The thinking behind this is, once a woman has had one c-section chances are, she will have another one.  Because VBAC’s (vaginal birth after cesarean) are banned and prohibited in so many hospitals, the only choice basically left for women birthing another baby after a c-section, is another c-section.  Because so many c-sections are not medically necessary, the insurance companies don’t want to pay for them. 

Insurance companies are rejecting these mothers coverage, and some insurers even consider having a c-section, a pre-existing condition.  What makes this even scarier, is once someone has been denied coverage and rejected by one insurance company, they have to disclose that to subsequent insurance companies they apply to.  Once an insurance company sees the mother has been rejected, a red flag goes up, and makes it even harder to get coverage.  If they do get coverage their premiums are extremely pricey and expensive.  In Colorado it was estimated some premiums would be 140% more than standard rates. 

The article quoted Pamela Udy, from the nonprofit group, International Caesarean Awareness Network, (ICAN) whose mission is to prevent unnecessary Cesareans.  “Obstetricians are rendering large numbers of women uninsurable by overusing this surgery.”

There are a few “exceptions” some of the insurance companies are making, where they will cover a woman who has had a previous c-section, such as:  

  • If the woman has been sterilized after the cesarean section
  • If the woman is over the age of 40 AND at least two years had past since the c-section
  • If after five years, there has not been a complicated pregnancy AND another c-section

These hardly seem like fair options.  You can only get coverage after a c-section if you have been sterilized? 

This is definitely a fall out from c-sections being performed unnecessarily.  The article mentions that women are caught in the middle of this mess between insurance companies and doctors. Pamela Udy says,  “Women are caught in the middle of a dysfunctional system. Doctors are telling them they need surgery, even when they don’t, and insurance companies, who are tired of paying the bill for so many frivolous surgeries, are punishing women for the poor medical care of doctors.”

This situation should be alarming for every woman in their child bearing years.  Even if you have no intention what-so-ever of having a c-section, in the rare case that you did need a medically necessary one, you can be denied insurance coverage now, because the procedure has been over performed.

Doctors and hospitals must start allowing VBAC’s, and return to delivering breech babies, in order to lower the ever rising c-section rate.  If nothing else, c-sections should be reserved for true emergency situations.  Something has to change- now more than ever, our very health depends on it. 

Categories
c-sections Cole Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth

Two Years Old

Cole is two years old today!  I have been thinking a lot about this week about my labor, delivery, and his birth.  He was technically born on the third Monday of May, and on Monday I was remembering the time line of his birth.

Having had a c-section with Ryan, I was attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian with Cole.)  I have been through a c-section birth before, but with Cole, it was obvious my first time being in labor.  I remember after 42 hours of labor, and a successful VBAC, I finally was holding my brand new baby boy, and I couldn’t believe how small and tiny he was.  I had forgotten what a newborn looked and felt like.  The tiny toes, the tiny fingers, the microscopic finger and toenails, the way his body just nestled into mine and Joe’s- like that space existed just for him.  I relished those first few days and weeks- knowing in a blink of an eye, my newborn would be gone forever, and in its place, I’d have a baby, toddler, and then a little boy.

Two years later, a little boy has replaced my sweet newborn.  His toes and fingers are no longer tiny.  He doesn’t fit ‘just so’ in my arms, and in a sense I have forgotten again the details of a newborn.  However, two years ago, I could not even begin to imagine how much I am in love with the little boy Cole is.

While he is no longer a baby, he is such a special little boy.  His smile lights up a room.  He loves trying to make us laugh, and he succeeds every day.  From playing peek-a-boo with the kitchen towel, to trying on all of our clothes and shoes, and parading around the house, with the biggest smile on his face. 

Cole thrives on touch, hugs, and kisses.  I will never be lacking a child to hug, kiss or cuddle with.  As he turns two, Cole is learning to talk quite well, with his favorite words being, “mama,” “dada,” “me,” “eat,” and of course, “Ryan.”

Cole loves his big brother to pieces, and has to do everything just like him.  The other day, Ryan’s foot was hurting, and after I was done inspecting it, Cole came running up to me, lifting his foot up too, “whining.” 

While he tries to be just like Ryan, he is also very much his own person.  I love seeing how his personality is changing and growing.  I like to see him develop his different skills, outside of Ryan.  One thing I have noticed is how mechanical he seems to be, and can already put anything back together that he takes apart.  He also loves babies.  Everywhere we go, when he sees a baby, he yells “Baby!” and starts waving hello. 

Two years ago, I had a newborn placed on my chest, and while I knew his name, weight, and eye color, for all practical purposes, he was a blank canvas- I knew absolutely nothing about him.  Today, on his second birthday, my little boy’s portrait is being filled in with the most brilliant and vibrant colors.  Every day I discover a new color that is added to his portrait.  While I know the canvas is always a work in progress, I am so privileged and blessed to be Cole’s mother, and to see his essence being painted.

Happy Birthday, my darling Cole.  I love you so very, very much.  

                       

Categories
Breastfeeding c-sections Health Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth

Recovering After a C-Section

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This is a follow up post to the post I wrote about C-sections, The Reality of C-Sections.  While writing that post, the thought occurred to me that it may be helpful to share some tips and ideas that could help mothers recover from a C-section.  Some of these tips I learned first hand, while I was in my recovery period, and some I learned and heard about after the fact.   If you have any other tips or something that is not mentioned here that worked for you, please let me know and I’ll add it to the post.  If you have had a C-section, it can be a long process to get “back to normal,” so any ideas we can pass on to other mothers recovering from their C-sections, I am sure will be appreciated.  🙂 

  • Rest and Do Not “Over Do” It– I know this is easier said than done, especially since there is a new baby, but I believe, in general, this is THE most important factor in determining how fast your recovery time will be.  Not only have you just had major abdominal surgery, but you are caring for a brand new baby, whose existence depends on you right now.  The laundry, and housework can wait.  Give yourself permission to rest at least for a week, and not take on all the housework too. Focus on your baby- that will be tiring enough, without worrying about the housework.  Your body needs rest to heal properly. 

If you are finding it hard to do this, (like I did), pretend that you just had major abdominal surgery for any reason other than having a baby.  Pretend that you had to have a hysterectomy (which is very similar to a C-section).  Would you be up and trying to cook dinner?  Would you be stressed your towels weren’t washed, or your bathrooms weren’t clean?  Chances are, no.  You would forget about these tasks for a while, and would be resting.  More than likely, you would have your husband, friends, or other family members helping out.  That brings me to my next tip:

  • Let Others Help Out– Again, I know this can be easier said than done.  No one likes to admit that we need help, but the one time in your life where you will need help is after having a C-section with a new baby.  Let your husband cook dinner, and put away the laundry.  No, he won’t do it exactly like you do, but in the end, it will get done.  Or if you have a friend or family member nearby, and when they ask how you are doing (which they will) tell you need some help, or tell them it would be wonderful if they could come over and help with a small task.  Make a short list for them, so they know what you would like help with. This also ensures they won’t start cooking something for dinner, trying to be helpful, when your husband is bringing take-out home. 

It is hard to ask for help, but again consider if your friend just had a baby, and asked if you could help her with a load of laundry.  Wouldn’t you jump at the chance to help her out?  Most people want to help, and it makes them feel good and useful.  If they can’t do it, or don’t want to, they will find an excuse not to come over.  But I believe that would be an exception.  Besides, they are all dying to see your new baby, and if I have to throw a load of laundry in the dryer to see a cute new baby, no problem. 

Don’t forget that you can ask for help with the baby too.  Maybe you are just dying to take a shower, or grab a short nap.  If your baby is okay being held by someone else, ask them to come over for an hour.  Believe me, most people will jump at the chance to come over and hold your baby.  Having a few minutes or a shower in peace, is not being a bad mother- it is a necessity for you to keep going, and to heal.  Friends and family are wonderful and can help so much.  You only have to ask, and let them know a little help would be greatly appreciated.

  • Don’t Overdo It With Visitors– Didn’t I just suggest to have friends and family help out?  Yes I did, but there is a big difference in having a few trusted friends and family over who you know will help out with what you ask them to, say hi briefly, and be gone.  You will be wiped out from the surgery and taking care of a newborn.  Now is not the time to have your chatty Aunt Cathy over for hours, or all your college roommates.  There will be plenty of time for you to have extended visits with these family and friends.   You need time to rest and heal.  You can’t do that when you have a constant stream of visitors in your house. 

A few ways of keeping visitors to a minimum are, stay in your pajamas, get into bed,  or put a robe on when someone is coming by for a visit.  You can tell them that you were going to take a nap, and if they see you in your PJ’s, or even laying down in bed, or on the couch,  they usually will get the hint not to stay too long.  Another great suggestion is you can say your doctor advised you to rest, and not have visitors right now, so you can recover from surgery.  It is pretty hard for that insistent relative who has decided she needs to see your baby *right now* to argue with doctor’s orders.  I also had a friend who had her baby at home.   Her midwife put a sign on the door saying something to the effect while the family appreciates shorts visits, this is time for the family to bond, and for the mother to heal and rest.  It specifically asked that visitors stay no more than 10 minutes, and if you see something that needs to be done, it would be appreciated if you could do it. 

The point is, that it is your house, your body that needs to heal, and your baby.  You don’t have to play hostess right now.  You can call the shots, so to speak, on which visitors you take, and how long you would like the visits to be.  Don’t feel bad, guilty, or feel like you are being rude.  People who want to see you and your baby will understand you need to rest, heal, and bond with your baby now.  The baby will still be there in a week or two, or even three for them to visit.

  • Follow the Doctor’s and or Nurses Suggestions– This one may seem obvious, but because some of us (okay, me) think we know better, we may try to ignore some of the discharge instructions.  Obviously, the health-care providers have lots of experience and tips.  They are not telling you not to climb stairs to be mean and confine you to one area of your house.  There is a reason for the suggestions, and having learned the hard and painful way, the suggestions really are given to ease pain, and speed up your recovery.   

For me, it was driving.  I was told not to drive for at least ten days.  Ridiculous, I thought.  One night about a week after I was home, I really wanted to have some pictures of Ryan printed.  Joe was exhausted, so I told him I would hop in the Jeep (an automatic too) and drive the 3 miles to my closest Walgreen’s.  He reminded me I wasn’t supposed to drive.  I told him I would be fine.  BIG mistake.  I never knew you used the muscles that were cut during the C-section to drive, but you do.  Every time I hit the gas and brake, it hurt- a lot.  After I got home, I was very sore, and even during the next few days, it felt like I had stretched the muscles in the incision area, and they were very tender.  I learned that night there was a good reason I was told not to drive while I was healing- it hurt, and it was like taking five steps backwards with my body healing.

  • If You Have Stairs, Move What You Need Into One Area– Stairs can be excruciating to walk up right after a C-section.  I have 14 of them leading to my upstairs.  My bedroom, bathroom, and Ryan’s nursery are all upstairs.  Walking up and down the stairs killed me.  I thought my incision was going to rip open, with every step I took.  After two days of this, when I came home from the hospital, I sat down in the glider in Ryan’s nursery and told Joe I was staying right there.  I was NOT walking up and down the stairs anymore.  I had all of Ryan’s clothes, blankets, and diaper items right there in the room.  Joe would bring me water, and food.  Because of a technicality with our bed (it is very high off the ground), I could not climb up into it or get out of it, without intense pain.  So I slept in the glider for three nights as well.

Have your husband or all those friends and family who want to help, move your items on one floor for at least a few days so you don’t have to stress your incision by climbing stairs.  There may be cases where you have to climb stairs, but you will not want to make any trips up the stairs that are not necessary.  My baby’s room worked well for me, since all his items were there, it was pretty easy to “set shop” up there for a few days.  Joe just kept a monitor on downstairs, and whenever I needed him to bring me something, I just called him.  This may seem like a small point, but it will help your body heal.

  • Follow Your Pain Medication Instructions– I forgot often to take my pain meds.  It wasn’t like I was busy or anything with a new baby.  A nurse told me when your body has pain, then your blood pressure goes up and it will take more medication  and it takes longer to stop the pain, than if you had stayed on top of the schedule.  This was really true.  When I forgot to take my pain medication, it took more medicine and it took longer for the pain to stop.  When I took it on schedule, I virtually had no pain- there wasn’t time for the dosages to wear off.   

I didn’t like taking the pain medication and I know that contributed a lot to me forgetting to take it.  It was a big psychological block for me too.  I felt “sick” taking medication several times a day.  I tried to wean myself off of it for a few days, before I allowed myself to just take it. I had to tell myself I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t going to be taking it forever, but for the time being, my body needed it to help control the pain, so it could heal. 

  • Have A Pillow Nearby You Can Hold Up Against Your Incision– I was sick to my stomach after my C-section, due to the anesthesia.  Throwing up after a C-section, is NOT fun.  It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life.  Coughing, and laughing after a C-section is not fun either.  More intense pain. 

After I was home, my aunt, who is a nurse, came to see me.  I told her how much it hurt when I coughed, sneezed, or laughed.  Actually, I was trying not to laugh to avoid the pain.  She told me to hold a pillow into the incision/stomach area.  She said that would help support the muscles in that area.  I tried it and it worked great!  It was a great tip- I only wish I had known about it when I was in the hospital.

  • Have Something To Prop Yourself Up In Bed With– While I was in the hospital, any time I wanted to sleep or rest, I could just hit the button on the bed, and it would adjust into a position I could be comfortable in with no pain.  After coming home, trying to lay down flat in bed was awful.  I needed to be reclined somewhat, but the pillows I had weren’t working.  Finally one of those reader pillows with the armrests to the sides, did the trick, when I was able to finally climb into bed and tolerate the pain. 

 Of course we didn’t have one, and no stores in our area had them, so my aunt saved the day when she brought me hers to borrow.  This was one of those things that I never even thought about, until I was faced with reality that I couldn’t lay down flat to sleep.

  • Eat Nutritious Food and Beverages– This goes without saying, but not only will you feel better if you eat nutritious and healthy meals, but your will be giving your body the best energy sources you can, to help it do its job of healing.  Drink as much water as you can, especially if you are breastfeeding. 

Eat as much organic everything that you can afford.  You can certainly have some treats if you feel like it, but the more nutritious food you supply your body with, the better and faster job it will do in repairing itself.      

  • Hire A Post-Partum Doula– If you have family and friends nearby, this may not be necessary.  But if you don’t, or don’t have anyone you feel comfortable with asking to help out, a post-partum doula can be a lifesaver and the best money you will spend.  PP doulas will come to your home and will follow up with you, see how you are doing, check on the baby, hold the baby, cook, clean, do laundry, and general housekeeping.  I think a PP doula services would come in very handy as well, if say you only had your husband to help out.  He will be tired too, will be adjusting to the baby, and trying to keep you happy.  A PP doula can help ease his work load as well, and give him a much deserved break. 

In my area, the PP doula’s will come in for as little as one hour a day, up to forty hours a week.  Even if you think you can’t afford a PP doula, in actuality, you might be able to for a few hours a week.  Keep in mind too, it isn’t forever- just until you have recovered enough to start taking on the chores yourself.  Different doulas charge differently, so it may be helpful to interview a few several weeks before your due date, so you can have someone in mind.  Even if you don’t have a C-section, a PP doula is wonderful.  Consider how much it would cost if you overdo it, and end up back in the hospital for a few days.  You would have to pay for a hospital stay again, and most doulas fees don’t come anywhere near what you would pay for a hospital visit.  A PP doula can help you manage tasks, and ensure you don’t end up over doing it. 

If you have an unplanned C-section, you may not have even thought of many of these tips or ideas, but hopefully you can incorporate as many as you can, depending how far along in your recovery you are.  However, if you know you have to have a C-section, do what you can before the C-section in terms of moving things in one area, lining up friends and family to help, etc. and it will make it that much easier and restful for you, and your family when you come home. 

I know first hand how hard it is to be out of commission for a while.  If you overdo it, you will be out even longer.  Allow yourself the time you need to feel better, and recover from your C-section.  You will feel better faster, and you will be a much happier and healthier mama for your baby.