A Mama's Blog

I have about a half-hour commute to work, twice a week.  I get to listen to what I want to on the radio (no Music Together, Barney, or kiddie music CD’s.)  So I like to listen to the popular talk shows, to stay up on what is happening in the world.

During the past month, I have heard every talk show talking about stay-at-home moms who have or get an “allowance.” This is money their husbands give them to spend each week, and once it is gone, it is gone- no more buying anything.  At first I thought this only applied to a few people, but I was amazed by the calls the radio shows were receiving, and these were all on different stations.

The allowance “rules” based on the women, who called in, seem range from the wife receiving a large allowance to buy groceries, gas, and other household necessities to only $20 a week to buy “emergency” items like diapers, or to splurge on herself. 

One woman said her husband gives her $50 a week for her allowance and with this she has to buy gas, diapers, and formula.  If there is any money left over, she said she can spend it on herself, like on a haircut, or clothes.  She said with gas prices being so high though, she barely has enough of her allowance left after buying gas. 

Another woman said her husband gives her $20 a week that she can spend on whatever she wants for herself, but if she needs money for diapers, or a doctor’s appointment, she has to submit the amount to him ahead of time, and he writes a check for that exact amount.  Some women had to even get trips to the grocery store, dry cleaners, etc. “approved” ahead of time from their husbands, so their husbands would know how much gas they were using. 

The calls went on and on, and evidently there are a lot of households in my area who are doing this.  Some of the women loved it- they said it helped them stay on a budget, but some women said they hated it, but felt like they had little choice, since their husband was the one who was earning the money. 

I’m all for budgeting the household money, and maybe if a wife requests the finances be run this way, I don’t have a problem with it.  Whatever works, if both parties are happy.  I do have a problem with the whole allowance issue if the wife is not happy, or feels like she has no choice in how finances are spent, even if her husband is the sole wage earner.

Stay-at-home moms contribute so much to the family- I am sure I don’t have to list it all out.  To be made to feel like you are a teen-ager asking your father for an allowance, just seems degrading to me.  I am of the thought (and my husband is too), that we both contribute to the household, and we don’t need “permission” to spend money.  Of course we run bigger purchase items by each other, but my husband doesn’t want or demand an accounting of every dollar I spend, and I don’t expect that of him either.

I am really curious now, what do you think about this?  I would love to hear if you have an allowance, if so, is it your choice, and what are the benefits or drawbacks to this.