Category: Ryan

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Cole Family & Friends Holidays Mothering Parenting Ryan

Happy Mother’s Day

I read a great blog post today From Daily Mish Mash on the commercialism on Mother’s Day, and how it can make us feel when our expectations aren’t fulfilled. 

I admit that I too, had unrealistic expectations of Mother’s Day, when I first became a mother.  I assumed it would be like a commercial, with my husband thinking and planning that “perfect” day for me. 

Fast foward four years, and I have learned.  Mother’s Day is not about just one day of having a perfect day.  For me, Mother’s Day happens year-round, when my four-year old gives me an unexpected hug, or tells me something super sweet, like, “Mommy, you are my best girl.”  Or when the boys play together and actually have fun, and don’t bicker.  Or when they both do something I ask, just because I asked them, or when Cole looks into my eyes to give me a hug, and I see pure love in his big, blue eyes. 

Oh, surprises are nice too- who wouldn’t love a diamond necklace, like Daily Mish Mash mentions?  But I agree with her that expecting these amazing, thought out, well planned gifts, is just setting ourselves up for disappointment.  I have also become way more proactive, and instead of hoping and then getting mad that I don’t get the Mother’s Day I am hoping for, I have started to let Joe know what I would like to do. He makes it happen, and he is happy, because he is doing what I really want to do, and I am happy-obviously.  This seems to work out well for us. 

My husband is not the world’s best surprise planner.  I have learned that about him.  But he will drop whatever he is doing at a moment’s notice to help me with the children.  He will go to the grocery store for me at 11pm at night, if I have a dessert craving, and he will do anything for his family.  I may not get a diamond necklace on Mother’s Day, but I will take the little- and never ending gifts I receive every day, from my family over a diamond necklace any day.

Besides, where would I wear a diamond necklace to anyway?  I suppose the cashiers at the grocery stores would be very impressed, if they manged to notice it over my mom-stained shirt.  🙂

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone.  I leave you with some quotes I like for Mother’s Day.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~Unknown  

And my favorite, since I am part Irish, and have two boys: 

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.  ~Irish Proverb
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

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Cole Family & Friends Mothering Ryan

Motherhood in a Picture

 This picture is of Ryan, Cole, and myself, about 14 hours after Cole was born.  It was the first time Ryan met and held his new brother.  This picture represents the essence of motherhood for me.  I not only had a brand new life, but also my firstborn, and two brothers before me, who are my sole responsibility.  I am still in amazement that I have been entrusted with these two precious little lives, and looking at this picture reminds me what a miraculous experience motherhood is. 

I am participating in 5 Minutes For Mom’s Giveaway with this photo, on what motherhood means for me. 

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Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

The Princess & The Baby

The past few days, Ryan has started telling me I am his princess.  He’ll give me a hug and say, “You are my princess, Mommy.”  Tell me that wouldn’t melt your heart. 

Tonight as I was tucking him in, he told me that again, so I asked him what he wanted me to call him.  He said, “You can call me “Prince.”  So I gave him a hug and said, “Goodnight, prince.”  He got a huge smile, and then said, “Okay, you go away now Mom- I need to go to sleep.”  I guess the fair princess has been banished out of the prince’s room.  🙂

Cole is starting to talk up a storm.  Yesterday he started saying his name, very clear- at least Joe and I think it is clear.  Before this, when we would ask him his name, he would always say, “Me.”  He calls Ryan, “Eye-in,”  which is pretty good for an almost two year old. 

Cole’s latest dramatic antic when he wants something-anything, to pucker his face up, start whining, and cry, “Baby, Baby,”  while pointing to himself.  The boy is good- it gets my heartstrings every time (and Joe’s), but he still is my baby, and I guess he knows it, and is working it to his advantage.  At least  I haven’t been banished by him-at least not yet. 

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Health Mothering Ryan

What’s In Your Skin Care Products?

A few days ago, I wrote about Ryan having keratosis pilaris (KP).  One of the solutions that has helped Ryan, which I didn’t go into a lot of detail on, was our switch to natural skin care products.

As I wrote, this has been such a change and learning experience for me.  Growing up with 3 other siblings, money was tight, and my mom bought the least expensive skin care products she could.  This usually meant the typical products you would find at any drug or grocery store. 

I am a beauty product junkie I’ll admit it.  So I love trying out new shampoos, conditioners, make-up, lotion, and skin care products.  Over the years I have gravitated towards more natural brands.  I have very, very, dry and somewhat sensitive skin, and these products just work on my skin better. 

I don’t know why I didn’t connect the dots, -if I was getting better results with natural products, then they were probably better for my baby, when Ryan was born.  Like a lot of new mothers, I stocked up on Johnson & Johnson baby products.  I also had received a Burt’s Bee Baby Starter Kit.  I noticed right away after using J&J lotion on Ryan, his skin seemed very rough and dry.  After using the Burt’s Bee lotion, his skin was softer and never felt dry.

I noticed this with all the skin care products we used on Ryan.  The “traditional” products were always drying and somewhat irritating, where the more natural ones were not.  I tried out a lot of lotions to try to keep Ryan’s skin hydrated, to reduce his KP flare-ups. 

About two years ago, I came across this eye-opening, and educational website, Skin Deep, which is a cosmetic and personal skin care data base.  It breaks down the ingredients in thousands and thousands of products, and lets you know which ones are the most dangerous based on ingredients in the products that are linked to cancer, developmental/reproduction toxicity, violations, restrictions, and warnings, and other issues like skin irritation.   The most dangerous ones are a 10, down to 0 (with minimal hazards).   It will tell you too, if the company tests its product on animals and if they have signed the Compact for Safe Cosmetic pact. 

I was SHOCKED and quite honestly, appalled to see the rankings of some of the products I was using on Ryan at the time.  Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Lotion had a hazard of ranking of 7.  In fact, 95% of baby lotions on the market have lower concerns.  It is one of the most hazardous baby lotions, and how many millions of people are using it on their babies?  No wonder Ryan’s skin always seemed stressed after using it. 

 I started to feel deceived by these baby companies, because so many of the products that sound natural, and sound good, like something you would want on your baby’s skin, is anything but.  Like Huggies Baby Lotion with Shea Butter– sounds good but it also has a ranking of 7, which is a high hazard.  The Burt’s Bee’s Baby Buttermilk Lotion has a ranking of 4, which put it in the moderate hazard category.  I had to conclude that the lower the ranking on the products we were using, were not only better for my son’s skin, but also better for his potential health.  What mother would want to knowingly expose her baby to potential toxins?

I was also surprised to find some products I thought would be high on the list actually weren’t.  An example was Vaseline 100% Petroleum Jelly.  Its ranking is 0, which is considered a low hazard.  Another one was Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil. I thought it would be at least a 7 or 8, but it is a 3, with a moderate hazard.  There are some baby oil’s that ranked at 0’s though, so baby oil wasn’t as bad as I had thought.

All of this taught me that I have to read ingredients on skin care products.  I can’t just assume because a company claims the product is “natural” or because it says “baby” on it, it is safe and non-toxic to use on my children.  I feel like my kids will be exposed to so many toxins in life anyway that I can’t control, but I want to cut down on the amount they are exposed to at home by using less toxic products in their bath, and on their skin.

Of course for Ryan this also means his KP doesn’t flare-up as much, and that is reason enough for me to have made the switch to less toxic skin care products for our family. 

 

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Health Mothering Ryan

Keratosis Pilaris

When Ryan was about four months old, we noticed his skin started having what I referred to as the dreaded “goose bump skin.” I was mortified.  I had these bumps, which were very noticeable on my arms and legs while growing up.  I still have them somewhat on my legs.  I remember my mom taking me to several doctors in my teens, because I was so self-conscious about them.  No doctor ever gave us a diagnosis on what the condition was.  I resigned myself to live with these bumps on my skin. 

I was very happy in my early twenties, when they started to disappear on my arms. They also started to fade on my legs.  

Fast forward ten plus years, gazing at my firstborn’s sweet, perfect, smooth skin, only to realize he is developing the same condition I had.  What are these bumps, and would my son have to go through his life with them too?

I immediately took Ryan to a dermatologist, who told me right off it is a “harmless” skin condition called, Keratosis Pilaris, or KP. Harmless in it often looks worse than it is, but I knew first hand, how self conscious it can make you about parts of the body that KP appears on.  She told me there isn’t anything you can do, but a person usually will outgrow KP as they get older.  She also said it is genetic (my dad and sister had KP too), and about 50% of the population has some form of KP, somewhere on their body.

She gave me a prescription cream for a steroid and told me I could use it in case of flare-ups, or if the KP got really bad.  What really was troubling to me was unlike myself, Ryan had KP on his face, especially on his cheeks.  His cheeks were rough, and people were starting to comment on it. 

I used the steroid cream a few times, when Ryan’s face had really bad flare-ups. Dry weather can aggravate KP.  We live in a very dry climate, and interestingly I remembered as a child, when we visited more humid places, my KP went away entirely.  At 7 and 18 months, we visited my sister who lives in a very humid area, and within 2 days of us being there, Ryan’s KP disappeared.  It reappeared however, after we returned home.

I didn’t like using a steroid cream on my baby, so off to the Internet I went, in hopes of discovering something, anything, that would at least reduce the KP on Ryan’s face.  There is no “miracle” cure- at least not one that I have found.

What I have discovered is there are several things that will help reduce the chances of flare-ups, resulting in less noticeable bumps.  I did learn that KP can be so different for everyone- what works with one person, will only aggravate the flare-ups in others.  Our pediatrician gave us some good tips as well, and here is what I have discovered helps Ryan:

  • Keeping our environment as humid as possible. 

Our pediatrician actually wrote us a prescription for a whole house humidifier.  Since we are planning on moving soon, we opted not to buy one yet.  However, we keep a humidifier in Ryan’s room at night.  This helps a lot, especially in the winter.  We have an evaporator cooler in the summer, which is almost like a humidifier.  Ryan’s skin is almost KP free in the summer. 

  • Adding pure, organic, flax seed oil to his milk every day. 

I add less than a teaspoon, but I have noticed it helps a great deal.  Flax seed oil is rich in the essential fatty acids, especially Omega-6, which is the Gamma Linoleic Acid.   Our doctor told us flax seed oil has the highest concentration of Omega-6’s, more than what you would find in a capsule. 

Some research suggests that a lack GLA contributes to eczema, and when eczema patients increased their GLA intake, their eczema went away.   However, eczema, and KP are not related, but I liked the theory, since GLA is very soothing to the skin, and can promote healing.  Since most people can’t utilize GLA properly (due to environmental factors), adding GLA’s into Ryan’s diet, seemed like a natural thing to do. 

I never told Ryan I was adding flax seed oil to his milk.  I would stir it in, and he would drink it.  As he got older, he started to ask me what “that yellow stuff” was.  I told him it was flax seed oil, and it helps keep us healthy.  Ryan reminds me and asks for his flax seed oil now, and once I asked him why he likes it so much.  He said, “It keeps my skin smooth.”  I was amazed.  I have never told him that, but I think he started to notice a difference in his KP when he takes his flax seed oil.  About a year ago, I saw him running his hands down his arms, and talking to himself.  He was saying that his skin was bumpy and he didn’t like it. That about broke my heart, so I am thrilled that he seems to have noticed a difference in his skin.

  • Keeping his skin moisturized

This has been such a journey for me.  I have tried probably every cream, lotion, and balm on the market in hopes of one of them reducing Ryan’s KP.  I have tried everything from the lotions promising to cure KP, to basic Vaseline, to herbs.  I have tried everything from the steroid cream to the purest and most organic moisturizers I could find.  Nothing has been that miracle, but I have noticed that the more natural lotions, seem to lock in the moisture after Ryan’s bath better.  Right now,  Shikai Borage Dry Skin Therapy Lotion is doing a very nice job. It keeps Ryan’s skin moisturized for a full 24 hours, and I haven’t found anything that has worked as well up to this point.

  • Using Natural Skin Products

This has been a real change for me, which I will write more about in the next post.  So many ingredients in products that I had previously been using are so drying to the skin, and weren’t helping Ryan at all.

With these changes we have made, I am very hopeful that Ryan’s KP will continue to lessen as he gets older.  It has gotten better even from when he was two years old. 

I think education is so important on KP as well.  So many people don’t really know what it is, and out of concern they ask you what those bumps are on your child, or if he has a rash.  I have even had people tell me after I have explained what it is, say that they used to have bumps on their skin when they were young, and they are happy to have finally found out what those bumps were too. 

Maybe one day science will finally have a cure for all the sufferers of KP.  Until then, I plan to keep trying to eliminate the flare-ups, and at least “cure” it the best I can for Ryan.