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Activities Mommy Confessions Mothering Parenting

Mommy Confessions

I know we all LOVE being mothers 99% of the time, and would not trade it for anything.  We all LOVE our kids like crazy, and could not imagine our lives without them. 

But…what don’t you love about being a mother at times?  I have been thinking about this a lot, and don’t think it is really acceptable for mothers to go around saying what they don’t like about mothering.  We are for the most part expected to be happy, and put on a happy face no matter what. 

So, I decided to devote a blog posting every now and then to “Mommy Confessions.”  You can “confess” something small or something large, and there is NO judgement.   So if you want to get that certain something about motherhood off your chest- this is the place.  After all confession is good for the soul, right? 

My confession is I HATE the park.  I like watching my kids play, but find it so boring.  When my boys were younger, they needed me more to help them play, and that was fun, but now as they are growing and can do more and more by themselves, and don’t need want me to help them play, I still have to keep an eye on them, so it is too hard to read something, or talk to another mother.  So I stand around bored out of my mind.  My favorite part of going to the park, is when it is time to go home.

So there you have my confession, and I feel a lot better- what is yours?

Categories
Cole Mothering Parenting

Parenting Mistakes

My sister wrote a blog post about a parenting mistake that she had recently made with her 17-month old daughter.  My sister was trying to get her to eat, and she wouldn’t.  She started throwing a fit, so they put her in time-out.  Turns out, my little niece was only throwing the fit because she didn’t like the tuna fish, my sister was trying to get her to eat.

My sister is a first-time mom, and of course, we all make mistakes like this.  I’ll even let you in on a little secret, little sister…we keep making mistakes even with our second and subsequent children too.

My parenting mistake was on Tuesday night.  I was having a hard time falling asleep, and I had to be up before dawn- like at six for work on Wednesday.  The last time I looked at the clock before falling asleep, it was 2am. 

I woke up at 4:30am, and heard Cole crying a bit.  Sometimes he does this in his sleep, and I usually wait a minute or so, and nine times out of ten, he just goes back to sleep.  Since I had only been sleeping about two and a half hours, I was sooo tired.  I tuned out his cry, and figured he would be back asleep in a minute or so.

As I felt myself falling back to sleep, I could still hear him fussing around.  The next time I woke up, it was a full half-an-hour later, and now Cole was crying out, “Mommy, Mommy!” He was really loud, and upset.  He had not gone back to sleep, and I really resented having to get up to see what the problem was.

When I got to his room, he was standing up in his crib, just sobbing, and saying, “Mommy, Mommy,”  It broke my heart.  I thought he had, had a bad dream.  I picked him up, and he was SOAKED.  He was wet from the top of his shirt, to the bottom of his pants.

Clearly he had, had a bed wetting accident.  To top that off, it was a bit cool in the room, and his blanket was wet too.  I felt awful.  My little boy was soaked from top to bottom in pee, and I couldn’t be bothered to get up to check on him.

I cleaned him up, changed his sheets, and he was eager to get back to sleep.  Before I put him back in his bed, he put his arms around my neck, kissed me and said, “Love me Mommy.”  He says ‘love me’ instead of ‘love you,’ but that just made me feel worse.  He wasn’t trying to interrupt my sleep- he just wanted out of his wet pajamas.

Parenting is like driving to someplace without a map.  Sometimes you nail it right on, and sometimes you hit a bump or two, or three, or more, along the way.  Sometimes you just end up, flat-out lost.  I think about episodes like this, and wonder if this will seem like child’s play, when my boys are teenagers, and we are dealing with very complex issues.

Eventually, even if you are lost for a while, you figure it out, and get going again- ready for the next trip down the parenting road.

Categories
Activities Family & Friends Mothering Parenting Ryan School

PreSchool Dropout, No More

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my preschool dropout, Ryan.  The comments telling me not to worry, were so appreciated, but we felt like we still needed to explore the option.

I suppose I am the one mother who didn’t get the memo that you cannot wait until back-to-school time to register your child for preschool.  Our school district has about six preschools in some of the elementary schools, and I assumed I could register Ryan at the one in the town we are hoping to move to.  WRONG.

When I called, the lady was very nice, but laughed.  She said I had to register for preschool back in January.  What?  I can’t even plan ahead to next week, let alone eight months ahead of time.  She told me they were completely filled, but they would put Ryan on a waiting list. 

I tried the other schools, and it was the same story.  One school that did have an opening, would have been in the farthest possible location from where we live now, and if we move.  The days they had open also did not work with our schedule.  Since I work two days a week, it was going to be tricky at best, to find something that worked.

So, I resigned myself that Ryan was a preschool dropout, and I was going to homeschool him for preschool.  We have been working on his name, numbers, letters, shapes, and colors anyway. Recently, he is starting to pick out a few words out of books that he recognizes, so I thought we were on the right track. 

The director at the farm program where Ryan went last year e-mailed me as well and said she had a few afternoon openings, so I signed him up for some sessions, just so he could be around other kids, and get the experience of being in a class.

But it was still bothering us.  Neither Joe or I, are teachers.  We were worried that we would be missing something.  What if we brought him to kindergarten next year, and he was the only kid that couldn’t do X, because we didn’t enroll him in preschool? But our options were severely limited.

Ryan’s wonderful grandmother (Joe’s mom) came to the rescue.  She told us about a center in town that caters to children with special needs.  She informed us that they have a preschool, where they combine special need kids and non-special needs kids in the classes.  She said it had a great reputation. 

Right off the bat, I loved the idea of that type of environment for Ryan.  I think he is at the perfect age to start learning about differences and in turn, learning tolerance and empathy.  I looked up the website, and was thrilled to see they were advertising at the top of their page, that they still had openings for non-special needs kids in his age group.  I read about the program, and became even more impressed.

We called the school the next day, took a tour, and even though they normally request that the four-year olds attend school four days a week, they said they would still love to have Ryan come for two days a week.  Because of my work schedule, there is no way I could bring him four days a week, but with some help from Ryan’s grandparents we will be able to do the two days a week.

The school was amazing.  All the teachers have bachelor degrees and or masters in early childhood education.  All the assistants at a minimum, have certificates in early childhood education too.  The ratio in the class is half the kids with special needs, and half the kids without.  There is one teacher, and two teaching assistants.  They are very organized and send home a lesson plan every week, so you know what is happening and what the kids are learning.  They have field trips.  One is coming up to a farm to see animals, take a hayride, and pick vegetables.  It just seemed like the perfect place for Ryan.

Today was his first day, and he was excited to go.  He told me he was a little nervous, but he was happy that he wouldn’t have to take a nap, since he’d be at school.  When we arrived, the director walked us to the class, where he met some of his classmates.  Ms. A., (his teacher), gave him a hug, and told him she’d show him where he could put his backpack.  Ryan barely gave me a hug, and he was off with Ms. A. 

Cole and I watched for a minute, and Ms. A., sensing I  needed another good-bye, pointed Ryan in my direction.  My little boy gave me a hug, and he was back off to Ms. A. Outside the classroom, there is a one-way window, and the director told me I could stay and watch as long as I wanted.  Cole was getting tired, so we left. 

It is odd turning your child over to someone else, to take over teaching them, even for just a few hours a day.  But this school seems so nurturing and supportive-it felt right. 

When we picked Ryan up, he had, had a blast.  He told us about the stories they had read, the snack they had, and the toy front-loader he got to ride during recess.  He was also happy to see that his name in his cubby, was attached to a yellow triangle.  That was very important. 

Ms. A. called us tonight and told us how comfortable Ryan seemed and how well he did today.  His first day couldn’t have gone better. It should be a fun year, and I can’t wait to see and hear about all the exciting new things he learns.  Here are a few pictures before we left for the first day:   

                             

Categories
Miscellaneous Mothering

Around the Blogosphere

I have not been great at announcing when I have been a guest poster at other blogs, so I am dedicating this post to the trips that A Mama’s Blog has taken around the blogosphere recently.

One of the surprises that I was thrilled with, was MomWebs Blog reviewed A Mama’s Blog.  You can read the review at: Meet A Mom Blogger: A Mama’s Blog

I am a monthly blog contributor at API Speaks (the blog for Attachment Parenting International), and this month I wrote, Am I An Attached Parent?

On Wednesday, the post I wrote, Sarah Palin, Feminism, and Double Standards, was run on the blog, ‘Lil Mommy Goes to Washington.

Last month I guessed blogged at Crunchy Domestic Goddess, while she was on vacation, with What’s in Your Skin Care Products?

I also guessed blogged at This Military Mama, on Vaccines, Autism, & Government Liability, while she was at BlogHer. 

Mile High Mama’s accepted one of my favorite posts ever,- No Safe Secrets, but they renamed it, No Safe Secrets with the F-Bomb.  (I like their title better.)

Eco Child’s Play accepted two of my submissions for guest posts.  The first one was ran during their special Labor of Love Series, and this was a post I wrote just for the occasion.  It has not been posted on A Mama’s Blog, and it is, Labor of Love: My VBAC (vaginal birth after a cesarean section) Birth.  If you want to read in detail about my experience with a VBAC, and also in turn, Cole’s birth story. 

The second post for Eco Child’s Play was for World Breastfeeding week, Mother’s Milk: Breastfeeding Beyond Six Months.

If you missed some of these posts at A Mama’s Blog, and want to read them, I hope you will go to the terrific blog it is posted on (I’m not just saying that either because they used my blog posts).  Check out the blog while you are there.  I am sure you will find a lot of other interesting posts, and other information.

Thank you to all the bloggers who allowed me to post some of my writings on their blogs.  I really appreciate it, and you know as soon as I need some guest bloggers, you can expect to hear from me.  🙂

Categories
Cole Family & Friends Health Mothering Pregnancy & Birth Ryan

Split Lip & Blood

Ryan will be five in January, and up until Saturday night, we have been such perfect parents <joke>, had the luck of never having to take him to the emergency room. 

It had just finished raining on Saturday night, at 7:30.  Ryan was begging to go outside in the backyard and play.  We told him sure, and off he went-running. A second later we heard him screaming, like we have never heard him scream before.

Joe went outside to see what was wrong, and when I heard him say “Where did all this blood come from?” I ran outside too.  Joe was carrying Ryan in, and I was horrified to see a lot of blood running down Ryan’s mouth.  I couldn’t even see his mouth-it was that bloody.  I had no idea what had happened, but saw his chin was bleeding and so was his knee. 

Poor Ryan was so hurt and upset.  Through his tears he kept saying “My blood, my blood.”  I think it freaked him out to see so much blood, and when I glanced out the kitchen window, I saw our entire walkway in the backyard was covered in it. He obviously fell, and either bit his lip as he fell, resulting in the cut, or the impact when he fell made him bite down on his lip.  

As we cleaned up his mouth, we saw that his lip was split, just behind his lip, and it was deep.  Joe thought he needed stitches, so we left for the ER.

To make a really long story short, the ER was backed up for hours.  A nurse graciously came out and told me we would be sitting there for hours. She looked at Ryan’s lip and said he did need to be seen by a doctor.  Thankfully my brother, Jeff, had been at home, and was able to look up the number to the Children’s Hospital Urgent Care Clinic in a town about half an hour away for us.  I called and they were open until midnight, and she said there was only about a fifteen minute wait.

Ryan in the meantime, had calmed down a bit, but he was still really in a lot of pain.  His mouth had stopped bleeding too.  He kept coughing though in the car, like he was gagging, and I was hoping he wasn’t going to be sick-probably from all the blood he had swallowed.  He didn’t want to drink anything, and he screamed if we so much put ice near his mouth.

By the time we had waited at the ER, and drove to the urgent care center, and finally was seen by a doctor, two and a half hours had passed.  The doctor said it was our call if we wanted Ryan to have stitches.  She said fortunately, since the wound was on the inside of his mouth, there would be no scaring, and she said mouth wounds heal very fast.  She also said all his teeth were fine.  We didn’t really know what to do- the wound looked so bad, so I asked her what she recommended.

She said if it was her son, she would skip the stitches.  She said it would require a numbing shot, and then the stitches.  Joe and I agreed with her. Ryan was finally calm, and acting better (I am sure the Motrin the nurse gave him was helping), and we didn’t want to put him through any more trauma and stress, especially if it wasn’t needed.  The doctor gave us some tips for cleaning the wound, and told us it should look better in a few days-not worse.

We left.  Joe and I were starving- we had fed the boys dinner, but we hadn’t eaten before all this happened.  There was a Wendy’s open, and Ryan asked for a Frosty, so we were happy he was feeling better. 

Cole was just amazing through all of this.  He was SO good and acted like such a big boy.  At one point he kept pointing to his mouth, and saying “Ouch,” and wanted me to kiss his mouth.  I think he was having sympathy pains for his brother.

We got both the boys a Frosty, and drove home.  Around 11, we finally got Ryan to bed, and he was so tired.  He fell right asleep. 

On Sunday, his knee was sore, but he was feeling a lot better and had no problems eating, even though his lip is really swollen and the wound is black and blue.  He went to his grandparents house with Joe, and had fun helping Dad and Grandpa cut down a tree, but he also took a long nap. 

I’m glad in this case, the injury looked worse than it was, and now we have experience in dealing with a mouth wound.  It never ceases to amaze me how resilient kids are, and how fast they can bounce back.  It is kind of amazing we haven’t had more of these episodes, but with two active boys, I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the urgent care/ER yet.