Category: Health

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Health Running

Extreme Race Training- Part I

Last week I had an “extreme” activity/workout week. 

As I wrote previously, I am training for the first competitive division race I’ve run in.  It is a 3K, and it is going to be at 6PM. As in outside.  In July.  When it is extremely hot.  I’ve been getting faster and faster in just running the distance, but have been training inside. 

I didn’t want to exhaust myself too much with hot weather running, but had planned to do one run at 6PM, a week before the race.  Last Wednesday I did, and it was a lot harder than I thought.  I was a minute and a half slower than I have been at the gym.  The weather was hot- it was in the 90’s, windy, and it was draining. 

While I was disappointed with the time, I worked out a better strategy for race day. I normally start out very fast and maintain the pace.  I realized within the first few minutes on Wednesday, this would be very hard to do in the heat.  I slowed down a bit to conserve some energy until I was just under 1.5 miles.  Then I increased my speed, and had a fast finish. 

The weather is going to be such a factor in this race.  Today they are saying upper 80’s, and lower 90’s, with possible rain on race day.  But it could also be in the mid 90’s and sun.  I feel like I haven’t trained as well as I could for the hot weather, and wanted to get some more exposure to the heat.

On Friday I took off for a two hour bike ride at 11:30AM.  Right in the heat of the day.  It was in the upper 90’s.  I made myself ride up hills.  I was really tired at the 12 mile mark, but made myself push on for 3 more miles, so I could have a 30 mile bike ride round trip.  The muscles in my legs were shouting for me to stop.  Sweat was trickling down my head, neck, and arms.  I could see the top of my thighs and shoulders turning red with sunburn.  I only had a quarter of a water bottle left with warm water by this time, but I kept going-up and down three steep hills on the way home.  A moment later, there was no pain, no need to stop.  I had pushed through the pain, the heat and felt great.  

When I got home, I realized I had only done 25 miles- I had rode to a town on the first leg of the trip, but did not ride through it on the way back.  I didn’t hit the 30 mile mark, but I felt the bike ride called for a lot more endurance than I will need on race day.  I managed two hours in the sun, exercising vigorously almost the entire time.  I felt ready and prepared, but tired, as I packed to go on an easy backpacking trip for the weekend. I was looking forward to getting to the mountains and getting out of the heat and the record temperatures we were having. 

As I drove to Denver I could not have known the run and the bike ride would end up being the easy part of the week.  The most physically enduring, exhausting activity, I have ever done, was still to come…

(Due to lack of writing time, part two will appear on Thursday.)   
 

Categories
Choose You Health Running

Success and Failure

I’ve been running again.  I have been running shorter distances, but working on building speed.  A few months ago, if I didn’t run five miles at a time, I felt like I wasn’t working hard enough.  I honestly can’t remember off the top of my head, the last five mile run I had. In the back of my mind, I know this is not going to get me to a marathon in October.  But right now, it is good enough.

All my aches and pains have vanished- I have not had any more knee pain since I stopped pushing as hard as I was.  Since I am injury free, and working my way out of the physical and mental groove I have been in, I decided to enter a race. 

I felt like I needed a challenge I had not taken on before.  Since I know I am not ready right now to tackle a half marathon, and my body seems to be doing well with shorter but faster runs, I signed up for a 3K  (1.86 miles) in July.  I checked the top times from last year, and was pretty excited to see the times I was currently running were in the range with the finishers in the competitive field.  My current time is nowhere near the top level, but it was there.   With competitive runners. 

I stared at the computer screen for several minutes, wondering if this was right.  If I had to run this race today, I would finish somewhere in the middle among competitive runners.  I would be near the top for my age group.  The race description said the area’s fastest runners show up for this race, and with such a short distance it is quick!  And it is going to be hot!  It is outside, at 6PM. I am NOT a warm weather or heat runner. The last few weeks temperatures have been in the 90’s at 6PM.  This is definitely one of the most challenging things I’ve tried. 

But I was not going to let heat stop me, so I signed up for the race, in the competitive division. So I am now training for what will be my first race in 2 months, and my first competitive division race.  I have three weeks until race day to get faster and deal with the heat.  It has been hard.  I have dropped an average of 30 seconds off my time so far, and I hope I can keep adding to that.  I want to finish well, but even if I am the last person to cross the finish line, it feels good to be running and training again.

I’ve realized I might not make the goal of running in a marathon by October.  I never gave myself the option not to.  But when trying to reach any health or fitness goal, you have to have a little wiggle room.  If you never allow yourself room to fail or to be unsuccessful, then I don’t think you can ever allow yourself to reach the level of success you want either. Success and failure go hand in hand- you can’t have one without the other.

Not every training run for this fast intense race, is a success.  Sometimes the heat gets to me.  Sometimes my time is slower than the previous time.  But all of this is paving the way  for me to have success- hopefully in a few weeks in my first competitive race, and when the time is right- a marathon.

(Cross posted at Choose You Blog– a new campaign by The American Cancer Society to help encourage and support women to put their health first in the fight against cancer. )

Categories
Cancer Choose You Health Running

Resting & Choosing You

Last Saturday, June 12th, was the one year anniversary of my thyroid cancer and neck dissection surgery.  A few months ago, I had a goal- a definite way I wanted to “mark” this day.  I was going to run in a tough half marathon in the mountains of Estes Park, Colorado.  Although I have run a half marathon distance before (13.1 miles) it would have been my first half marathon race.  I thought if I could run a mountain terrain half marathon at an elevation of 7,000+ feet, it would be an excellent foundation to build on for a full marathon. 

I would have had to put in some major training, and if you read my last post, it was obvious it wasn’t going to happen.  I thought a lot about the two races I’ve missed now, because of the time I needed to rest and regroup-physically and mentally.  It is hard missing out on a goal you really want to achieve, when your body won’t let you. 

Thinking back on my surgery from last year, it is amazing to me how much my body has been through, and really-that I can even push it to the limits I do.  I still have shoulder pain from the nerves they had to move in my neck, to get to my lymph nodes.  I’ve recently been told I need to have physical therapy on my shoulder because the muscles are so shortened and out of place.  I hardly notice the pain anymore, and this arm feels just as strong to me as my other arm, which was not affected by the surgery. In just a year-365 days-my body has made a remarkable recovery. 

But I have realized over the last month, I can’t expect my body to recover from a major surgery, heal from cancer, process radioactive iodine, function with almost 100 less lymph nodes, kill off microscopic cancer cells, adjust to thyroid hormones, be a mom, daughter, sister, friend, employee, deal with enormous amounts of stress through a divorce and losing a parent, and push physically as hard as it ever has, and not expect to ever be tired and need a break. 

I missed two goals I really wanted to accomplish, but I have also gained something I never would have otherwise.  Perspective.  My body last month was telling me it needed to rest.  I am glad I listened, because I think it will make me a better and stronger runner overall. 

Last Thursday, I finally had a run where I had a consistent pace again, some distance, and I wasn’t tired.  I had a bit of knee pain still, which I am convinced, is tied into running somehow.  It only started hurting a little over a month ago, when I was running.  I noticed the knee pain, before I tuned into how my body was feeling.  I hiked two weekends ago almost 10 miles on a tough trail, carrying 20+ pounds of equipment, and I had no knee pain whatsoever over the course of two days.  It might sound silly, but on that hiking trip, I decided when my knee didn’t hurt when I ran, the time would be right to come back to race training.  

On Monday I ran.  I wanted to run fast.  I wanted to run a shorter distance and see how it went.  I ran at a fast pace so I had to work, but I did not go “all out.”  I ran on grass, which is harder to run on.  I felt good.  I ended up with one of my fastest times ever for the distance in a training run.   There was only a tingle of knee pain.    

And so, I am beginning again.  I am going to gradually and consistently push forward.  I have a new short-term goal I will write about next week. 

I’ve learned a lot in the last year, but over the last month I have learned one of the most important lessons:  Sometimes by not doing anything, listening to your body, and just being, is the best way to choose you.

(Cross posted at Choose You Blog– a new campaign by The American Cancer Society to help encourage and support women to put their health first in the fight against cancer.)

Categories
Cancer Family & Friends Health losing a parent Mothering

Cancer Surgery- One Year Later

One year ago today, I underwent a thyroidectomy (complete removal of the thyroid) surgery, and a neck dissection to remove almost all of the lymph nodes in my neck, because I had cancer.  (You can read more about the surgery here, After Thyroid Cancer Surgery. I have posted some other pictures at the end of this post, I thought may be helpful to others who are facing a similar surgery.)

A lot has happened during the past year.  At the time it was my biggest challenge.  Cancer is a big deal.  Even thyroid cancer, which most every doctor will say is the “best” cancer to have is a major, life changing event.  I haven’t talked to one thyroid cancer survivor yet, who hasn’t experienced some type of problem, or issue with their recovery.  For me, it was a mistake the endocrinologist’s office made, and I ended up without any thyroid replacement hormone (usually synthroid) for three months.  I developed severe hypothyroidism.  There were some days, I could not physically get out of bed, and I felt like I was 100 years old.  I had extreme pain from the surgery still, and I was confused, exhausted, and I could barely function. A year later, the left side of my neck is numb, and I still have shoulder pain. 

I receive e-mail’s weekly from other thyroid cancer survivors who are on synthroid, but the dosage is wrong, and they are experiencing hypothyroidism.  It paralyzes your life, and for me, the surgery ended up being the “easy” part.  When any organ is removed from your body, and a drug has take over the function, there are going to be complications.  Fortunately for me, when I finally was able to take synthroid, after radioactive iodine (RAI), my dosage was correct the first time.  I felt better hours after I took it.  One year later, I still have not had to have an adjustment in the dosage.  My doctors tell me this is extremely rare.  However, I still feel like I lost three months of my life.  Time with my boys, I will never get back. 

Four months after my surgery, I started running.  I was going to run in one 5K race- the Race for the Cure for breast cancer.  I enjoyed it, and it gave me a new appreciation for my health and fitness.  I think it is very important to become active as soon as you can.  It helped me get out of a “cancer patient” mode, and on to the next stage, which is a new life- cancer free.  Running made me strong again, physically and mentally.  I could not have known at the time, how strong I was going to have to be, in the very near future.

At the time I was diagnosed with cancer, I had been separated from my husband for three months, and in the process of divorce.  It was not an easy divorce to say the least.  There was a small “break” if you can call it that, while I was recovering, but after the RAI treatment, the divorce continued, adding an enormous amount of stress to my life.  I had a friend tell me after cancer, getting divorced would seem like a vacation, but this sadly, was not the case.  There wasn’t anything I could do, except plow through it until it was over.  The divorce was finalized last month, at the end of May.  Divorce was far harder emotionally than cancer had been.  

But the hardest thing- harder than cancer or divorce- was the unexpected death of my mother in February of this year.  It is the most devastating thing to lose a parent.  My mom came out last July (she lived out of state), a few weeks after my cancer surgery, to help me recover.  At this point,  I had hypothyroidism, and she took care of me, and Ryan and Cole during my parenting time.  It was one of the last times we had together.  I saw her for a few days at Christmas, and then I watched her die.   

Her friends all came to visit her, and they told me how utterly worried and scared my mom had been over my cancer.  My mom had never let on to me she felt that way.  She had always been so strong- always telling me I was going to beat cancer, and I was a very healthy person.  Her friends also told me how distressed she had been over my divorce-over the tactics that were being used, and the high stress I was under.  Again, she never let me know she was feeling like this.  She gave me strength and encouragement to keep going.  She told me all the stress the divorce was bringing to me was like cancer itself.  I could let it consume me, or I could fight, and beat the stress- knowing there would be a bright future when it was all over. 

I had seven days with my mom, while she died.  A day and a half later after I had returned home from her death, I had to jump right back in to divorce mode, and meet with a child family investigator (CFI) and a forensic psychologist for interviews and psychological testing.  These interviews and tests would result in parenting recommendations for the judge in the divorce case to consider.  This was in March, and cancer seemed like it happened a million years ago.

Now it is a year later from that day.  A year ago, I thought having cancer was one of the worst things that could happen to me.  Over the last year, I have learned-harshly-there are worst things than cancer. 

I remember thinking if I could get through this cancer, I could get through anything.  In a way I was right.  It turns out, cancer was the “easiest” of the three things I faced during the past year. 

I would not have gotten through any of this without my family and friends.  I hope I tell you enough how much I appreciate and love you all.  You are the ones who got me through this past year.  From the moment I checked into the hospital a year ago, to just the last few days- thank you for being there for me when I needed you.

For anyone who is reading this, who has just found out they have cancer, is going to have to have cancer surgery, or is recovering from thyroid cancer, there will be good days and bad days.  Don’t let the bad days devestate you.  Cancer changes a lot about your life, but you also have an opportunity to really see a lot of love and support around you.  It teaches you to let go of the small stuff, and to just enjoy the days you are given. 

Some of these days will be dark.  Some of these days you are going to have to fight with every ounce of strength you have just to get to the next hour.  Some of these days you will have to let other people help you, because you won’t be able to do it all.  Some of these days, you will have to let things go, and be okay with just being.  Some of these days you will question if it is even really worth it.  When you realize, without a doubt, yes it is- then the clouds start to fade away.  Instead of feeling weak, you feel strong.  Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you feel grateful you are alive.  Instead of feeling guilty, you feel content.  Then you will know in your soul you have beaten cancer, and it is far from the end- it is your new beginning.

 

One day after surgery, recovering in intensive care, 6-13-2009

My scar, seven days after surgery, 6-19-2009

My scar, one year after surgery, 6-12-2010

6-12-2010

Categories
Cancer Choose You Health Running

Motivation

(Cross posted at Choose You Blog– a new campaign by The American Cancer Society to help encourage and support women to put their health first in the fight against cancer.  I will be blogging with Choose You about my fitness goal- running in a marathon this year.  This is my second blog post with Choose You. If you missed the first one, you can read it here.)

The last few weeks, I have lost some motivation.  Ironically it started right around the time I made the commitment to Choose You, and subsequently announced I was going to run in a marathon this year.

Prior to Choose You, I didn’t announce my goals, or “put them out there” to everyone.  I’d tell a few friends what I was hoping I could do.  I’d sign up for a race, and write about it on my blog.  I guess you can say the pressure is on, and I have a fear now- what if I can’t do this? 

Another factor coming in to play is the conclusion of my divorce.  It had been going on for a year and a half, and any divorce that takes that long is complicated, and usually not very easy.  At the end of the court trial last Wednesday, it was finalized, and I felt completely drained. I missed posting my blog post here last Thursday, because I had no energy after the trial to write anything.  I think the conscious and unconscious stress that has been present for the last year and half has caught up to me. 

Health-wise, my latest blood work shows I am extremely deficient in Vitamin D.  The dose of radioactive iodine I had last August has depleted my Vitamin D levels.  My doctor said this alone could account for my fatigue.  She prescribed a second round of prescription Vitamin D, in hopes that will raise my levels back to the normal range. 

All of this compiled has resulted in very little motivation or desire to run.  The other day at the gym, I ran a third of a mile, and felt like I had run ten miles. (It is painful to write that!)  I was tired, winded, and wanted to just stop, go home, and go to bed.  I forced– and I mean forced -myself to keep going, and I ended up running 6.5 miles at a 9:10 pace, but my heart and my head were not in it. 

I was going to try an ambitious mountain half marathon in June, but I have no desire right now to put in the hard training I would have to do to run it the way I planned to.  I have been riding my bike more lately than running, and am really enjoying that.  I have been building up my distance and speeds, and I’m not worrying about setting any hard or fast goals.  Right now, bike riding doesn’t feel like work, and running does.  Fortunately, cycling is good cross training.    

I have still been running on average 10 miles a week, and I am going to try to keep that up.  I hope over the next few weeks, I will decompress from everything, and my motivation will return.  I have worked really hard to get to where I am, and I don’t want to just let it slide away.    

Last week I was running on the treadmill at the gym, and having a really hard time just completing a 5K distance (3.1 miles).  I had run 2 miles and saw I was on pace to finish at over 30 minutes.  I haven’t run a 5K distance in over 30 minutes in months.  For the first time in a while, I felt that drive and motivation kick in.  I turned up the pace to run almost two minutes faster for the last 1.1 miles.  It was hard, but I did it and finished in 28 minutes. 

When I was getting off the treadmill a man came over to me and told me “very nice run-especially at the end.”  He said he used to run, but didn’t anymore.  He said he was going to ask me if I run in races, but after seeing me run at the end, he wanted to ask me now how many races I have won.  It was a very nice remark from a stranger, who knew nothing of the funk I’ve been in, didn’t know that was one of my slowest runs, and I’ve been struggling.   But I knew.  And the part that he said was very nice was the end- when I was running like I know I can, when I’m motivated.   

I am not sure what I really need to do, to get my running motivation back.  I hope I can figure it out soon though, because I have a marathon to train for. 

If you have any ideas, comments, or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.