Category: Family & Friends

Categories
Family & Friends Health Running

If the Running Shoe Fits…

Running has been almost non-existent this fall and early winter.  After I got a new pair of running shoes in September, I developed a bad shin splint on my left shin.  This happened to me last year as well, when I replaced my shoes.

I thought I needed to break them in more, so I tried running low mileage- a mile or two, a few times a week, in hopes my shin would start to feel better.  It didn’t, and it started to feel worse.  I was really disappointed because the wonderful people at Boa Technology put a custom pair of Boa laces in my new shoes, since I had these on my previous shoes, a pair from The North Face, the Boa Arvuna, which I adored.  I loved those shoes, but they were discontinued.  The Boa lacing system is superior- they don’t come untied and they stay tight. I swore after having the Boa system, I would never go back to regular shoe laces.   I wore the new custom shoes at my last race, the Denver Race for the Cure, before the shin splint developed.

By the time I could finally admit the shoes were not working for me, it was December.  I switched back to my old shoes, which were too small, while I decided what shoe to get next.  My old shoes hurt my feet, which is why I needed new shoes in the first place.  I felt like I was in a shoe black hole during the holidays and I cut down running even more because of foot pain.

In the meantime, I decided to play soccer once a week in an indoor co-ed league.  It looked like fun, and I thought it would be good cross training.  Some of my friends played on the league as well.  Shifting my  attention on soccer delayed my decision on running shoes. 

For some reason, I was having a really hard time saying good-bye to my North Face shoes.  I had accomplished a lot of running goals during the past year- some of which I never dreamed I would be able to do.  I was not sure if I’d be as successful as I wanted to be with another pair of shoes.  It sounds silly, but I suspect I’m not the only person who is attached to an important piece of gear for their sport. 

Meanwhile, John suggested I look into Pearl Izumi running shoes.  I read up on some of the pairs, and I had heard good things about them, but until you can wear them and run in them, it is hard to make a decision.  Over New Year’s we visited a Pearl Izumi outlet store.  The salesclerk who helped me said she ran a lot on trails and road, and recommended a pair, the Syncrofloat II.  I tried them on, ran around the store with them, and they felt good. But they had laces.  I wanted Boa laces.  And they were white and light pink.  I wasn’t crazy about the color.   But I noticed as I ran around the store in them, for the first time since my North Face shoes, I didn’t have any shin pain. The laces seemed to stay tight too.  So I compromised and made the best decision I could.  I bought them. 

I started breaking them in slowly- on a treadmill, so I could return them if I noticed any pain.  But I didn’t.  In fact, I started to like them the more I wore them.  They were comfortable. After running in shoes for over a year that were half a size too small, my feet felt like I had little pillows on them.  However, I was reserving my final judgment for trail and road running.

In January, I put the Pearl Izumi’s to the test.  I ran short distances- under two miles on trail, road, and bike paths.  No shin pain, or any pain anywhere else. The laces stay tight and I haven’t had them come untied yet.  I was almost ready to return to my serious running when I got hurt-again.

I was playing soccer in the first game, and was not used to the Astroturf.  I fell and the whole next week, my quad muscle hurt.  Not bad, but it didn’t feel quite normal.  Then the next game I was running and it just gave out.  I couldn’t run and it was killing me. I thought I had a cramp and stretched it out.  It felt better to try to play later in the game.  I kicked the ball with my opposite foot and while I did that, I felt my quad muscle pop.  I had definitely pulled it. 

So I’ve been resting again.  No soccer or heavy running for the past three weeks.  It has paid off, and my quad muscle is finally better. I ran pretty fast outside the other day and had no pain whatsoever.  

I decided during this break, that I am finally over the shoe issue and it’s time to accomplish some of the running goals I have.  However, I decided the best shot I will have at reaching these goals, means I stop playing soccer.  I’m not 21 anymore, and any injury can mean weeks of forced time off to heal.  Not losing any training days or weeks will be very important during the next nine weeks.

I have registered for my first half marathon in April!  I’m so excited. I have wanted to run a half marathon after the first 5K race I ran.  I was training to run one last Spring, but then my mom passed away suddenly, and I was not able to continue the training schedule.

I have the most supportive family, friends, kids, and my new running partners- my shoes.  🙂  I have to build my mileage back up, and get faster.  The few times I have run the 13.1 mile distance (not in a race); I ran it in 2:10.  My goal is to finish in sub 2 hours.  I have all the important elements in place to accomplish this.  All the pieces fit now.  They are waiting for me to take them and run.  That is what I am going to do.

Categories
Cancer Family & Friends Running

The Race for the Cure-Full Circle

It’s been a while since I’ve written a personal blog post.  Everything has been going really well, but busy.  I haven’t had a lot of spare time to write, and the last time I wrote about running was in September- yikes!  I’ve been running, but not writing about it, obviously.

The last race I ran was on October 3rd.  I ran in my second Komen Race for the Cure in Denver.  This was the very first race I ran in last year, and it got me hooked on running.  My sister, Mara, decided to run in it as well, so I had company at the start line. 

Mara & I at the start line

Mara and I at the start line

My goal for this race was to get my fastest 5K time, even though this race was not officially timed.  Last year I was just so happy I could run-period, and this year I wanted to take everything I had learned about running, all the training and hard work, and run the fastest I ever have for this distance.  I wanted to do this for me, and for all the cancer patients who can’t run or do what they want to do physically. 

Last year before this race, I received running encouragement and tips from a friend I had been back in touch with from high school.  John used to run in school and gave me a lot of good tips for running in a race, since I had never ran in one.  Over the past year, he has helped me a lot with running, and has given me advice ranging from shoes, to race strategies.  Anytime I had a question or needed advice, he did what he could to help me.  I started to think of him as my unofficial coach.  🙂  This year he came with me to the race.  

Mara and I made our way to the front of the line- amongst the hundreds of runners.  Mara has a bad knee from a rafting accident years ago, and knew she wasn’t going to be able to run the entire race, but started with me anyway.  She made me laugh as we took our place with the “Seven Minute” runners. This means you can run a mile in seven minutes.  Doable for me, but when Mara saw how serious all the runners were with their warm ups, and stretches, (and we do tend to be serious before a race,) she said, “Dang, these people are like die-hards. Oh I guess that’s you.”  It was funny to hear her impression of “us die-hards.” 

As the race started, I told Mara I’d see her at the finish line, and started running.  I felt really good.  Most of the training I have been doing since June was very intense for me, so it seemed pretty easy for the first mile.  But I had forgotten how uphill the beginning of the race was.  I was running my race pace too, so I was getting a bit tired in mile two.  I loved seeing all the people cheering along the street. 

A big difference for me this year was I have started running without music. I started training in July without it. I was training to run in a race that didn’t allow music.  I felt more focused and in-tune with my breathing and pacing.  I was glancing at my Garmin to see what kind of pacing I was on, and it was going well.  Right around the end of mile 2, I got tired and forced myself to slow down some.  I remembered towards the end of the race, with about half mile to go, there was a steep hill from the off ramp waiting.  I knew I was in good shape, but wanted to make sure I saved some energy to tackle that hill.

I found out later that Mara’s knee gave out after her first mile.  She walked the rest of the race, and was able to take some pictures since she wasn’t running.

Looking at this picture afterwards made me appreciate all the more, how fortunate I have been regarding my health.  The entire time I was running, I could see the people ahead of me, and the guys riding the bikes, outlining the course.  At one point I could look down over the runners ahead of me and figured there were a few hundred.  Last year, I was running more like in the crowd in the picture.  It always makes me run a little faster when I realize there are more people behind me than in front of me.

Before I knew it, the hill was there.  It was hard, and I was trying to increase my speed since the race was almost over.  I ran over the summer on some 21% grade dirt hills, in the very hot sun, so I was telling myself this was nothing compared to that. 

I finished the hill, and it was a sprint to the finish line.  There was only about .15 miles left.  I am sure I glanced at my Garmin, but I don’t remember at what time.  But I do remember I was on pace to beat my previous 5K best of 24:59.  I ran as fast as I could to cross the finish line.  I hit stop on the Garmin, but before I looked at the time, I took a few seconds to just appreciate that I was at the race at all, and how much fun I have had running during the past year. 

I looked down at my time, and there it was: 24:53.  I ran my fastest 5K time!  Last year I had finished in 36:25- what a difference a year makes- in more ways than one.

I saw John waiting for me, smiling with the camera at the end of the finish line. I was happy to see him there, and after a year plus of me asking him about all the in-and-outs of running, and him helping me, it was nice to be able to put it all together and achieve what I was hoping for.  Even though this picture is blurry, I still like it.  It captures the spirit of the race for me:

I am sure I had a huge smile on my face after this as I showed John the time, and told him I just ran my fastest 5K.  We went to find some water and wait for Mara.  When she finished, I told her I was very proud of her- it would have been very easy for her to sleep in, and she agreed, but I think it is wonderful she got out and gave it her all!

After the race- we did it!

Since this wasn’t a timed race- there are no stats- no official times, or age group finishing places.  John told me the first man finished around 14 minutes, and the first woman was a few minutes after that.  He said he didn’t see that many women who finished ahead of me who looked like they were in my age group. 

It was my best race yet, and I was thrilled I was able to run my fastest in this race, when last year it was an accomplishment just to run.  I took over 11 minutes off my 5K time in a year.  I am proud of that, and am so thankful to everyone who has helped and encouraged me during the last year.  John especially.    

Finally, for all the cancer patients and survivors who are still fighting- many who are my blog readers- I think about you every time I run.  I think about my own battle with cancer, and how it pales in comparison to what so many others have to go through to fight and beat cancer.  It is humbling and inspiring.  It is why I started to run.  Over the course of the year, it helped me make the shift in my thinking from a cancer patient to a cancer survivor, and to focus on what I can do, not what I can’t.   

The Race for the Cure is where running started for me.  I will be marking my running years by this race.  I’m excited to see what this next year in running holds for me.

Categories
Family & Friends Holidays

Wanted for Christmas: “I Need a Blanket and I Need Food to Eat…”

Two years ago, my sister, Mara, who is a second grade teacher at a very impoverished school outside of Denver, had her students write a letter to Santa Claus.  She had never done this before, and was expecting typical requests from eight year-olds.  The letters were anything but typical- they were heartbreaking.  She sent an e-mail to her family and friends with some of the requests, asking if there was any way we could help out her students. 

The request that touched me the most was from a little boy who only asked for “socks with no holes in them.”  I posted Mara’s request on my blog, and the response was overwhelming.  Each child in Mara’s class received an item they desperately needed, like new socks.  We were also able to give every child a new toy, game, or book. 

Last year a girl in Mara’s class told Santa in her letter, that she didn’t need anything, but her sister needed a coat.  This year, the letters are just as touching, and some are just heartbreaking. For three years now, when I read these letters to Santa from these young kids, it puts everything in perspective for me.  It also makes me sad these children know what it is like to be cold and hungry. 

Here are some of the items the children this year in Mara’s class have asked Santa for (these are unedited):

“…I need a blanket and I need food to eat because I have NO blankest becauze my mom doesnt have money.”

“…the winter is so cold and I need boots.  I’m wearing my grandpas shoze and hes feet are too big so I trip.  I also need soks because I can’t find any.” 

“…I need a blanket because I sleep on the ground.  Something els I need Is Pillows becaues I need them so the floor wont hurt my neck.”

“..I Need a blancit cos i am cold at nit. I need to go to shcol. I want a fotbal cos i like fotbals.”

Here is an excerpt from Mara’s note, and I agree with her wholeheartedly:

The highlight of my  past two holiday seasons has been the amazing effort you all have shown in taking care of my kiddos.  I hope the pictures from the last two years have assured you how much your gifts make a difference…even for one day.  I’m here to tell you that all of us together can make a difference for these kids.  They make me smile and laugh everyday with their unbreakable spirit and heart and I assure you that even a pair of gloves and a book from a stranger matters to a 8 year old.  They get a sparkle in their eyes.  It’s brought me to tears more than once.

 Here are the details if you can help:

 We’ll take anything EXCEPT cash/checks.  Gift cards to TARGET would be the most helpful because we could trade them in for gifts.  If you’d really like to donate books and be sure that’s where your gift was going, you can make your check out to SCHOLASTIC BOOKS and I will be sure to use it for that.  We’d also love any chapter books, school supplies, etc.  I will make sure every child in my class will get something new this Christmas.  Thank you so much!
Please send what you can to:
 
Alsup Elementary School
c/o Mara Corzine
7101 Birch Street
Commerce City, CO  80022

If you would like to see how much these gifts mean to these kids, you can see pictures from 2008 here. 

I have also posted my sister’s e-mail in its entirety, with more letters from the kids on A Mama’s Blog Fan page on Facebook.  

Thank you for your help!

Categories
Family & Friends losing a parent

May She Rest in Peace

If you read my blog regularly, you know one of my best friends is Amy whose blog is Crunchy Domestic Goddess.  In the last post I wrote about my friends who I have been friends with since our children were born.  Amy is one of those friends. I’ve written a lot about Amy over the past few years.  She has been there for me in every way possible and then some when I was fighting cancer, going through a divorce, and dealing with my mom’s sudden illness and death.  

I received some heartbreaking news from her yesterday morning.  Her younger and only sister, Carrie, was killed in a car accident Monday night.  She was returning from visiting friends in the mountains, the roads were icy, and the weather was bad.  Carrie lost control of her car and was hit head on by a truck.  She passed away instantly. 

Over the years I’ve gotten to know Carrie too and she was always a joy to be around.  She had a beautiful smile, and I can’t recall ever seeing her not smiling.  She helped all of us out with our kids when she could.  For our surprise going away party for Julie, just weeks ago, she watched several of our kids, so we could have an adult party.  She was a terrific aunt to Amy’s two children, and she was an amazing sister to Amy.

When I first heard this terrible news, I started to cry, and cried all day off and on. So did my friends.  We are all in such disbelief, shock, and grief.  Carrie was only 31, had recently finished law school and had a job advocating for people with disabilities.  It is tragic her life was cut so short.

I visited Amy briefly on Tuesday, and it is not often I am at a loss for words.  But I was, and still am.  I wish there were magic words I could say to make this terrible situation go away.  Nothing anyone can say or do will bring Carrie back to her family, or ease the pain and anguish Amy and her family are in.

I think about my friends, and my own two sisters and brother.  While losing my mom was awful, in some aspects I think it is more “natural” than losing a sibling so early in life.  Parents age- our siblings and friends are supposed to live long lives, and certainly not die in terrible freak accidents. 

And it brought back many feelings of my mom’s death- again.  All the feelings- the intense pain, and the sense of helplessness.  I had a few friends who told me they could not attend my mom’s funeral service, because they had lost a parent, or a loved one recently.  I understood, and could imagine how they felt, but didn’t really “get it.” Sadly today, I do.  And part of me wants to forget this happened and not think about it death, dying, accidents, funerals, moving on after a loved one is gone, what to say or what to do, anymore. 

There will be a service for Carrie on Saturday, and I am going to attend.  It meant so much to me to see the people who had come to say good-bye to my mom with my family and I, and Amy was one of those friends who was there for me on that very hard day.  I hope I can be strong and be a help and a comfort to Amy and her family instead of a hindrance while I try to keep control of my own feelings and emotions about my mom. 

I wish I had some clever way to wrap up this post, but I don’t.  Death leaves more questions than answers.  The only thing that does seem to help is time. 

To Amy and her family: My deepest sympathies, and may Carrie rest in peace. 

Carrie & Amy, May 2010

Categories
c-sections Family & Friends Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth

“Good-Bye” to Julie

In September, I met my friends for a girl’s night out.  We all met each other and became friends within 6 months or so of us having our first babies- way back in 2004. 

There are nine of us, Brandy, Amy, Nicole, Heather, Alison, Melissa, Danit, myself, and Julie.  I met Brandy, Amy, Heather, and Julie through a Yahoo parenting group Brandy had started.  Ryan was about 6 months old, and I had no friends who were moms.  I had no idea, or could have known at the time, how vital these friends would become in my life.  Eventually our group branched out into a mom’s night out, and I met Melissa, Nicole, Danit, and Alison. 

Once a month we would meet to just have some time away from the kids, to talk, and to compare notes.  This was before Facebook was up and running, so we stayed in touch every day through the Yahoo parenting group board. I remember at times that seemed like my life-line.  Whenever there was an issue I was facing with parenting, one of my friends was dealing with the same thing.   

Even though we couldn’t meet every day and chat in person, we had access to each other through the phone, computer, the occasional play-dates, and that support helped all of us. We all invited each other’s kids to birthdays, baby showers, and family events.  Most everyone’s husbands became friends too.  We met each other’s parents when they were in town, and somewhere along the line, we became more than just friends- we became a kind of a family-a community. 

Brandy, Julie, and I told each other on the same day in September 2005, that we were pregnant with our second children, and we were all due within weeks of each other in May.   Some days it seemed like we could barely manage what we had, and now we were going to be adding another person to the mix.  Julie and I had also had C-sections with our first children, and we were both determined to have a VBAC birth with our second baby.  That was a leap of faith- going against what the medical “norm” advises and deciding to trust my body.  I was fortunate to have Julie right there with me, as she decided the same thing.

As the weeks turned into months, and May rolled around, I remember sitting with Julie one morning in her beautiful garden. Julie is a master gardener and always has the most amazing yard.  She was hosting a play group, and our two-year olds were off playing the sand.  Julie and I’s belly’s were so big, it was warm out, and we had a hard time even sitting.  We talked about the impending births, and the way our lives were going to change with a second baby.  After that morning most of my fears were washed away.  I saw an extremely strong, determined, confident, and capable mother in Julie. I knew if she could manage I could too.

Julie had her daughter, Lily, a few weeks before Cole, and she had a successful VBAC.  I was so happy for her.  Her successful VBAC encouraged me that much more that I could avoid another C-section.  When Cole was born two weeks later, it was via VBAC, and when Trajan, Brandy’s son was born a week later, he was born at home. 

In July, 2007 our little group got smaller.  Brandy and her husband, Dax, were moving to Georgia, so he could attend graduate school.  It felt weird we were losing the person who had brought us all together.  We had new moms come and go through the group. But our core was always there.  This was our last girl’s night out before Brandy moved:

Back to front, clockwise, Amy, Me, Nicole, Brandy, Julie, w/ Lily, Heather

Brandy and her family eventually moved back to Colorado last year, but to another part of the state.  Even so, we’ve been able to see her a few times since she has moved back.

 April 2009,

Back to front, clockwise, Heather, Amy, Julie, Nicole, Me, Brandy, Melissa, Danit

In January of 2009, I started a difficult divorce process.  In April I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had surgery and recovery for it in the summer of 2009, and in February of this year, my mother passed away suddenly.  My immediate family lives about 50 miles away and was not always able to help me- especially when I was recovering from cancer.

My friends became my family in the town I live.  I would not have emerged from a divorce, cancer, and my mom’s death without their support and love.  Anything I needed, they provided. I didn’t even have to ask- they just came over and did what they saw needed to be done.  One day when I was recovering from cancer, I was barely strong enough to get up from the couch.  I had the boys and it was all I could do to look after them.

There was a knock on my door, and when I opened it, it was Julie.  Julie always has a smile on her face.  I think “sunshine” when I see her.  She had food for me, a book, and flowers.  She had done all the prep work so all I had to do was open the container and eat.  All my friends did things like this for me, but I mention Julie, because this post is about her.  🙂

Julie, her husband, and their two children, are moving to Finland this month for an incredible job offer her husband received.  This was the news Julie told us a month ago at our girl’s night out.  I am thrilled for her and her family- but I am also sad.  I don’t want Julie to move for purely selfish reasons- I am going to miss her.  We all are going to miss Julie- more than I think we care to admit. 

For 6 years now, we have gone through everything together.  From having infants, to post-partum depression, to toddlers, to preschoolers, to school age children, to losing our parents, to adoption, to soccer practices, to cancer, to other medical issues, to moves, to relationship issues, to divorce, to fitness, to Twilight (and Twizzler’s in the nose) obsessions, to once-in-a-lifetime-opportunities-when it has happened to one of us, all of us have felt it.  And we have been there for each other through everything. 

Last week we had our last girls night out for awhile with Julie.  It was fun, and it was like it always had been.  It’s our time to reconnect, talk, discuss, laugh, relax, and enjoy the brief pause in our lives when we aren’t in mom-mode. 

I don’t feel like saying “good-bye” is quite the right thing- I know we will see Julie again, and thanks to Facebook, and blogs, we will all be able to stay in touch  just like we have always done.  But it is her presence – her smile, her laugh, and her warmth, that will be gone from our group- for now. 

 We’ve been through more things in six years thatn some people ever face.  We were all new, clueless, sleep-deprived, scared, and isolated moms when we became friends.  Six years later, we are stronger, wiser, healthier, and less sleep deprived (except for Nicole who has a 4-month old)  :-), and we are all still friends.  Our children brought us together, but it is our characters that have kept us all friends. That is a unique gift we have all found in each other. 

It is a new start for Julie and her family, and a new adjustment for us.  It would be very easy to put some sad parting words here,  but as I told Julie the other night, I like this quote when thinking about her moving away:

Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

October, 2010

Left to Right: Alison, Heather, Amy, Julie, Melissa, Me, Nicole