Category: Cole

Categories
Cole Mothering Ryan School

Wasn’t He Just Born?

I can hardly believe that today we had Ryan’s orientation for the first ever pre-school/enrichment program that he will attend on Tuesday’s.  Where has the time gone?

We decided that Ryan wasn’t quite ready for a “full blown” several times a week preschool yet, so we decided on a program that frankly, just seems perfect for him.

It is on a farm just up the hill from Joe’s parent’s house.  There are horses, chickens, goats, lambs, and I am sure other animals that I am forgetting.  There is a tree house / fort, swings, sandbox, toys, and bikes. The kids are outside everyday unless the weather is just horrible.  There are eight kids in his group and a teacher, and a teacher’s assistant.  They will have some “formal” learning sessions, but in general, being outside is their classroom.

We got to go for an hour today to meet Ryan’s teachers, and just get him used to the place.  Unfortunately, when we got there, the director/owner told us his teachers were not able to make it today, but we got Ryan acquainted with the grounds, and he absolutely loved it.  He didn’t want to go home.  He has been a little nervous talking about going to school, but now that he has seen where he gets to go, he keeps asking when it will be Tuesday. I was joking with him and said maybe I could come too, and he told me, “No, you need to find your own school.” 

He will be going from 9:30-12, and he gets to bring a lunch.  He is excited about his new lunchbox.  He also had to make sure that Cole wasn’t coming with him.  I think Cole would like to enroll as well.  He was in heaven there today, following Ryan around, and he actually got up all these steps to the tree fort. 

 I was reading the director’s welcoming letter, where she was explaining some more about the program, and I love her philosophy when she says,

     “…I loved being outside with a group of children- spontaneous, creative play.  I loved the fact that there was no agenda, no structure…just exploring, smelling, touching.  The air, the sky, huge trees, birds.  I loved not teaching.  I loved that everything was already there-in nature.  The kids seemed more free, more alive.   I remember this huge realization: life does not get any better than this.  It was truly that simple.”

So my ‘baby’ is off to school in a few days.  It seems like he was just born.  While I am a bit sad he is growing up so fast, I am also very excited for him to start to branch out on his own, and start to explore, and find his world away from me. 

It seems as a mother, that is your ultimate job- to prepare your child for life away from you one day.  At least for now, he is only away for a few hours.  Wonder how I’ll feel when he is leaving for college?

Categories
Activities Cole Family & Friends Health Mothering Ryan

A New Phase

We are finally all healthy again!  Joe got the “crud” on Friday afternoon after he got home from work, and was sick until Sunday.  It was a rough weekend, because the boys wanted to play with their daddy, and they couldn’t.

On Friday night my in-laws and I took the boys to an end of summer festival on our Main Street.  The boys had a terrific time, and I did too!  There were some bouncy castles, a big bubble tower that blew tons of bubbles out- they boys had fun trying to catch them.  There was also a mini-train ride that Ryan rode three times, and once I managed to squeeze my self into one of the cars, and hold Cole on my lap.  He thought he was quite the big boy.  He kept waving to Grandpa, and was quite proud of himself.

The big surprise was a local dance studio was having some performances of their dancers- girls from probably about age 10 to age 17, and Ryan loved watching them!  He wanted to keep going back and see the dancers.  One set they did had a boy dancing too, who was probably about 11 or 12, and Ryan kept asking when the boy was going to come back and dance.  Cole was jamming out, bopping to the music in his stroller.  I think I have two little dancers on my hands.

On Sunday I went shopping with Cole for about 4 hours for some new clothes.  He did so unbelievably well.  I don’t think he has ever had a day since he has been born where he didn’t cry / fuss at least once.  Yesterday he didn’t!  He sat in his stroller, waving at people, babbling, and playing with his toys.  I had about 10 people stop me and tell me what a cute little baby I had.  In the dressing rooms, he just looked at himself in the mirror, “hung” the clothes back on the hangers for me, and just had fun.  He was like the poster child of a perfectly happy, contented baby.  So we had a fabulous afternoon. 

We are entering into a new phase with Ryan though.  He has suddenly decided that he is the boss, and throws fits now when he doesn’t get his way.  Saturday night, we had a bad episode, where he was in a fit, and he actually slapped my face.  I was stunned- I can’t believe my sweet little boy did this.  When you get hit in the face, my first reaction is to hit back.  I felt my hand go up, but I stopped, and just put him in his bed.  I told him he is never, never, to hit me.  He cried and cried, and about twenty minutes later he came out of his room and apologized.  I told him he hurt me very, very, much.  He said he was sorry again, and Joe took him back to his room to talk to him. 

It will be interesting to see what happens during the next fit.  I can put up with a lot, but having my son hit me, is not one of them!

Categories
c-sections Cole Pregnancy & Birth Ryan

C-Sections Causing Women to Die in Childbirth

If you haven’t seen this new report just out, it is definitely worth a read, if you, or anyone you know is considering a Cesarean section.

If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know that I gave birth to my first son, Ryan, via C-section.  He was a breech baby, (meaning his feet were down-not the ideal birthing position), and there are hardly any OB’s anymore that will consider attending a birth, when they know the baby is breech presentation, or hospitals that will allow them.

After trying an external cephalic version, (where the Dr. tries to turn the baby, by massaging the uterus- mother is drugged up!), that failed to turn Ryan, she recommended a C-section.

At the time, I believed that was really the only option left, so I agreed to it.  Knowing what I know now, there are SO many other options to try.  Hypnosis (which has about an 80% success rate, versus only 60% success rate of the external version), and acupuncture, just to name two other options (which are natural, drug free choices).  At the time though, we made the best decision we could with the information we had.  If you are in a similar situation, I urge you to check out other options.  Despite what even the best doctor will tell you, a C-section is MAJOR abdominal surgery with many risks.

I was happy to see this article pointing out the REAL-LIFE risks associated with C-sections.  Too many times today we hear in the media about Famous Actress, going in for a C-section, like she is going in for a haircut, and we never hear about increased risk of hemorrhaging, blood vessel blockages and infections.

It also REALLY bugs me that these articles never point out that Famous Actress has access to nurses, nannies, cooks, and household help, that the average woman does not.  It is a lot easier to recover from major surgery with an army of help at your disposal.  When it is just yourself, and your husband, trying to take care of a newborn, and stay on top of the household, it slows the recovery time down considerably, and leaves you susceptible for incision infections, leading to even more complications.

The media has made C-sections the “trendy,” and preferred way to have a baby.  Not to mention how so many doctors are afraid of being sued, so they just automatically recommend repeat C-sections, and completely disregard the VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) option, which is a very safe option for the majority of women.  Of course C-sections have their place, but when women and doctors choose a C-section merely for the convenience factor, or they are “to posh to push,” they are putting themselves at a higher risk for problems, perhaps even death.

After seeing this article last night, I also saw it today in my local paper, and the bigger capital city paper that we get.  I hope small steps like this help change the perception that C-sections are safer than vaginal birth, because in general they are not.

I am also very happy to say, that I was able to have a VBAC birth with Cole.  My local hospital didn’t allow VBAC’s, so we chose another hospital about 10 miles away that did allow women to choose this option.  As my friend Amy says, “Knowledge is Power,” so please educate yourself, and do your own research into the subject if you could be facing a C-section.  All our babies need their mama’s around, and it is so sad when ANY woman dies during childbirth- but it is truly a tragedy if it could have been prevented.

Categories
Cole Health Household Me Ryan

We Are All Sick Now

Thanks for all the kind comments, and just to update- Ryan was sick today, Cole seemed better but still had some very runny, messy, diapers that leaked out all over the kitchen floor (oh joy)- Ryan started puking at 5 am, and again at 4:30 pm, right AFTER I had just finally got the room cleaned up from his first round- had to wash everything and start all over again.

 Joe said he is feeling sick, and I have been sick twice now myself.  I still feel awful and feel like I am going to be sick again- it actually helps sitting up- when I lie down it is worse- what kind of ‘sick’ (pardon the pun) irony is that? I am so bone dead tired, but can’t lie down, or I feel worse-

Anyway, this does seem to only last a day, so hopefully Ryan will be feeling better tomorrow, Cole will be over it, and by tomorrow night, I’ll be over it too.  What a terrible couple of days!

Categories
Cole Household Mothering Parenting Ryan

Pity Party

I just posted today about Cole being sick again, and then the day went from bad to worse!

I only got three hours of sleep last night, so I was hoping I could catch a nap today when the boys took theirs.  I put Ryan down at 1:30, and at 2, he was still up, and then Cole woke up.  No nap for this Mama today!

While Cole was sleeping he had an incredibly foul diaper, which leaked through some, so there was another mess to clean up.  He did manage to drink some water, and breastmilk and keep it down, but he was terribly fussy.  I don’t know how I managed to get all my consignment sale tags done, but I did.  (Yea for small miracles!)

I called Joe at 4:30 to ask him to bring some Jell-O home for Cole, and he said he’d be home in half an hour.  Then my dad called and said he’d be by for a short visit on his way home from work.  I was happy that my dreadfully long day was ending, and was hoping I could make a quick dinner for the boys and then rest for a little bit.

At 5, the phone rings and it is the massage therapist Joe has been working with since the car accident, wondering where he was.  S***!  He had an appointment at 4:45, and we both totally forgot, even though it was written on the calendar.  I told her I’d try calling him, and he could probably still make it.  He did end up making it, but now Ryan was wondering where Daddy was, and to top that off he said his stomach was hurting, and now Joe wouldn’t be home for another hour.

Fortunately, my dad still stopped by, but Cole & Ryan wanted nothing to do with him. I have to hand it to Grandpa- he pulled out his work cell-phone / walkie-talkie, and made it beep and the boys flocked to him like bees to honey.  I was trying to get some dinner made while my dad was here, and got it finished just as he had to go. 

By the time I freshened up a salad for my dinner, Cole was done with his rice and wanted out of his chair.  I got him cleaned up and thought I could finally sit down and try to eat.  Ryan said his stomach was feeling better so he was up and down from the table, playing with Cole.

I wrote a few weeks ago about their Drinking “Beer” game and they started playing that again.  But this time the 3.5 year-old took it a step further and threw one of the cans of Coke back into the pantry, and then I heard it- the can of Coke exploding.

Ryan looked stunned- Cole looked stunned- I looked stunned- time stood still.  I slowly made myself look at the Coke dripping down the pantry walls, the door, and over absolutely every thing and item in the pantry.  I saw my two boys covered in sticky, gooey, Coke from head to toe.  I saw Coke puddles all over the floor.  I saw Cole splashing in the Coke, making an even bigger mess.  I heard Ryan saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry- it was an accident,” over and over, and I heard myself starting to cry.  I heard myself asking why did this have to happen today– haven’t I had to clean up enough messes during the last 24 hours?  I heard myself saying, I just wanted to sit down for five minutes and eat, and now I have to clean up another gross mess.   

What else could I do, but start?  I rinsed the boys off in the sink.  Ryan told me it was almost night-time and I would feel better in the morning.  He kept saying he was sorry, and said he wanted to give me a hug to make me feel better.  I told him it was okay, it was an accident, but I was upset and didn’t want to hug him right now.  I told him I needed him to play with Cole in the living room, so I could clean up.

As soon as I put Cole in the living room, he started to scream.  He dashed back into the kitchen to be with me.  I put him back in the living room, and he screamed again, trying to get back in the kitchen.  I grabbed a chair and blocked the entrance to the kitchen with it- you can imagine how much Cole loved that, and what kind of screaming fest I was treated to!

I asked Ryan again, to see if he could sing a song or play with Cole, and I was crying again.  He told me he was very, very, sorry, and that just made me feel worse!  I finished filling up the mop bucket and went to Ryan.  I hugged him and told him he didn’t need to be sorry anymore, I loved him, and Mommy was just very tired.  He looked so relived and it reminded me how much power I have right now over him, and how utterly miserable he looked before I told him everything was okay.  I never want him to think that I don’t love him, but sometimes it is so hard to keep everything running and having to think about everyone else’s feelings when I am just beyond exhausted.  I am glad that I took those few seconds with him, so he knew everything was okay, and I was not mad at him. 

As soon as I was done hugging him, Joe walked in the door to our lovely situation.  He offered to clean up the mess, but I told him I’d get it, and he picked up Cole, who immediately stopped screaming.  Joe read to the boys and then took them upstairs to play, while I cleaned up.  Joe also had a talk with our oldest son, on why we don’t throw pop cans.  🙂  It took half-an-hour to clean everything up.

Later while I was cleaning up Ryan’s bedtime snack dishes, he gave me a big hug and said, “I love you Mommy.”  Then when I was putting on his pajamas he told me I was his number one girl.  I don’t know where he picked that up from, but it melted my heart.  I really do have a sweet little boy, who is very good.  This was just a very bad day for an accident to happen, but under the circumstances I am happy that I didn’t yell at him, or lose my temper. 

This is the type of day as a mother you can’t prepare for- you just find yourself in the middle of this tempest, like a hurricane, with more and more problems brewing, and gaining momentum.  You can’t predict these days, you just have to go with it, and hope in the heat of the moment when you think you have taken all you can take, and then more and more crap happens, you can get through it the best you can, without taking it out on your children.

I have to admit that I am so glad these 24 hours are over, and Cole has stopped vomiting. Even though only one can of Coke exploded, I threw away the other can, and it will be a long, long, time before pop cans make another appearance around two little boys in our house.