Results from Ultrasound

Despite us having a major blizzard in Colorado, my doctor, Dr. T., was at work and called me with the results of the ultrasound on my thyroid today.

She said the ultrasound confirmed there is a nodule on the left part of my thyroid, as she suspected.  The doctor at the hospital, who read the ultrasound, suggests that I have a biopsy on the nodule to determine if it is cancerous or not. 

Dr. T. said nine times out of ten, it is nothing- it is like a benign cyst.  She also said they would be looking for anything atypical that would suggest the startings of something cancerous.  Dr. T. is sending my file to an ear, nose, and throat doctor in town, and as soon as he gets my file I will get the biopsy scheduled- I am hoping it can be as soon as next week.  I didn’t think to ask how long after the biopsy they would have results, but I am sure it can’t be more than a few days. 

I didn’t want to hear any of this.  I was wishing Dr. T. was going to say it was nothing- I just had an odd shaped thyroid.  But, since that isn’t the case, I have to take the next step.  I know it is for my health and the odds are in my favor.  Yet, I am terrified in that little place in the back of my mind.  Someone has to be that one person who isn’t okay.  Of course I hope that isn’t me, but what if it is? 

I can’t even really go there mentally right now.  Friends and family tell me not to assume the worst.  But when you are a mother, (or a father) it is so hard. How do you look at your precious children, and not wonder if you will be healthy for them?  How am I going to explain this to a five year old and a two-and-a-half year old if it comes down to that?  

I have way more questions than answers now, and all I can do is keep taking the steps to lead me to the point where I will have the answers I need. I just hope and pray they are the answers I am hoping for- that I am one of the nine, instead of that one.