Since the five years I have had my C-section, I was told many times that I should just be grateful my baby was okay, and I should get over the negative feelings that I had regarding the experience. I noticed that almost every woman who responded to my questions had something about her C-section that she was not happy about, or had been unprepared for.
I think our society is very harsh with mothers who have given birth by C-section in this regard. A C-section not only brings a new life into the world, but it is also a major abdominal surgery. If a heart patient has a negative experience with heart surgery, their feelings are usually not discounted and told to get over it. Of course all mothers are happy their babies are born healthy, whether they are born vaginally or by C-section. But that does not, and should not invalidate any negative feelings a mother may have giving birth by a surgical procedure.
Simply saying a mother should get over it, and be happy her baby is healthy is like telling a survivor of an awful car wreck, “at least you didn’t die,” or “you should be happy you are alive.” That is a given- but the pain and trauma from the experience also needs be to validated in order for the survivor to heal. We acknowledge the pain and suffering of car accident victims all the time. We do not invalidate the victim’s feelings just because they are alive.
Yet that is what happens to women over and over again, who share their negative C-section feelings. Their feelings are invalidated and they are told and expected to dishonor any negative feelings they have about their C-section births.
Birth is one of the most powerful things a woman experiences- what kind of message does that send to a mother when she is told her feelings she has regarding her C-section are not valid?
The C-section rate continues to rise in the United States every year. According to Childbirth Connection, in 1965 the C-section rate was 4.5%. It is estimated that when the 2007 figures are released, they will show the rate over 30%, or one in three births are a C-section. In some hospitals, the C-section rate is 50%.
My C-section made me doubt my body. I trusted my doctor more than myself. Doctors are experts in medical procedures, and we are all grateful to have them for medical emergencies. However, women are the experts on their bodies. For thousands of years, midwives- other women- assisted during birth. Birth is normally not a medical experience or emergency. Yet, that is how the entire process is generally approached. Women are made to feel that they are not capable of giving birth without a doctor present in a hospital.
Ina May Gaskin, one of the most famous midwives in the world, who has her own birthing center in Tennessee, did not have a woman who needed a C-section until the 187th birth that she attended. The next C-section birth didn’t come until after the 300th birth. Contrast that with one in three births being a C-section today.
It is my opinion that women are losing the ability to believe that their bodies can give birth, and birth is not a medical condition. Add to this, the women that are told to “get over” their negative birth experiences and not acknowledge their feelings. How does this attitude in our society prepare a woman for her next birth? How does this psychologically affect her? Is she more likely to believe in her body for the next birth or decide she needs a C-section?
C-sections have their place, and I am the first to acknowledge that. But with every C-section that is performed that is not a true medical emergency, I believe we are teaching women and girls- the next generation- that their bodies are inadequate- incapable of giving birth without a major surgery. As long as women allow doctors to make the calls for them, the C-section rate will continue to grow, and our choices for birth diminish.
Women need to support each other and share their birth experiences. Perhaps one story of a successful VBAC will encourage another woman to try a VBAC. One story of a woman’s experience with a C-section will help another woman avoid one. We can support each other and learn from one another. By sharing the good and the bad of our birth experiences, we lay the groundwork for allowing women and girls to trust their bodies. After all, women are the experts in childbirth. Who better to learn about birth from than another woman who has experienced it?
Karen Walker, a midwife, believes that “obstetricians will continue to encouraging the birthing mom to sacrifice her body on the operating room table until women begin to take the responsibility of her birth upon herself.” She says, “Doctors will get off their pedestals only when women get off their knees.”
The Unnecesarean.com was the first place this week that I read about Lauren Plante of Thomas Jefferson University’s essay, Mommy, What Did You Do in the Industrial Revolution? In her essay Plante compares industrial obstetrics with the industrial revolution. One profound statement she made when comparing modern obstetrics:
Industrial obstetrics strips the locus of power definitively away from women. The history of childbirth in America reflects a persistent trend of increased control by physicians and increased medicalization. Childbirth moves, first, out of the home, and now out of the vagina. (bold print mine)
It is interesting to note that Lauren Plante is an OB/GYN.
It is my hope by sharing my C-section experience, other women’s experiences, and by continuing to write about C-sections, that women who are considering a C-section for a non-medical emergency, can find real life experiences, thoughts, and information from other women that will enable them to trust their bodies can give birth.
We each are given the power over our bodies. The power is there- in all of us- to give birth to our babies. We have to trust that our bodies can do what they were made for. We have to get the information we need to feel confident in our bodies. When will we feel we have given enough of our birthing power and choices over to the medical industry? When the C-section rate nationally is at 5o percent? 75 percent? 100 percent?
It is every woman’s right to attempt the birth experience that she feels is best for her baby and herself. Please don’t give that right over blindly to a doctor simply because they are a doctor. If you don’t want a C-section only because your baby is breech, then do what I didn’t do- fight to preserve that right. Seek out midwives or another doctor. If you are told your hospital doesn’t allow VBAC’s, and you want one, do what I did- find another hospital that allows it. You don’t have to settle for a birth option, just because a doctor says that is the only way.
If we, as women don’t demand better from our doctors and hospitals, then we, and our daughters, will never get anything better from them. We will never get better choices, better information, better treatment, and ultimately better births.
8 replies on “C-Sections- Five Years and Beyond (Part 3)”
What a beautiful post! I have been struggling to write a birth story for my girls who just turned three, but can’t. It was an emergency c-section as I had pre-eclampsyia. I don’t regret it and I’m not ashamed of it, but I am still in pain over it and hurt when my feelings are invalidated.
I’ll be sharing this link anywhere I can.
Thank you so much for all of the attention that you have given this important issue. As someone who has had a cesarean birth AND who has been injured in a major car accident, I can tell you that i certainly did get more support, empathy, help, and medical attention from the car accident! After my major abdominal surgery/birth, I was handed a baby to feed, comfort and care for, and instructions to come back in a week to have my staples taken out. After my auto accident, i was provided with ongoing physical therapy, tons of help from friend and neighbors, offers of babysitting, offers to run errands, and even the numbers of counselors for PTSD. We need to offer post-partem doula’s to all new momma’s as part of standard care, no matter the type of birth!
I totally agree with your post, except for this statement:
“However, women are the experts on their bodies. For thousands of years, midwives- other women- assisted during birth.” Let me explain why. I had a natural home birth with a midwife attending. I liked to think, as a massage therapist, I knew the human body – especially my body, better than the average person. I was wrong. If I hadn’t taken a 12 week Bradley Childbirth class with my husband I would not have been prepared for a 36 hour labor – without being afraid for a minute. Today, women do not experts on their bodies. They know how their cars work better than how their bodies work. Most woman don’t know how their food gets digested – the process – or how they heal from a cold, and they certainly don’t know what is going to happen to them during labor b/c women have not passed the torch. Women will become experts again once they attend live births. They will help other women reclaim what they have handed over to Dr’s in the name of science. We need to spread the word, like you are doing here, and Ricki Lake has done with her documentary. Because giving birth at home, with all your wits about you is so empowering. My best friend attended and she will really know what to expect when she has a baby. That’s how we reclaim our bodies and become true experts of our bodies. I am sorry that you didn’t get the support you needed to heal from your C-Section. I am sure there are many women in your shoes.
Warm Regards,
Deborah
I myself had a c-section with my first child. I was grateful that she was born alive and healthy. I had 2 other vaginal births after that. I have to say I did have a great support system afterwards.
I think honestly the increase in c-sections is because we have become a sue happy society that wants to find blame for anything. Doctors are afraid to let women work thru the process of child birth because of that risk.
I have a friend who lost a child during a home birth with a midwife.
A child dying is always sad. And if a c-section saves even 1 child then to my point of view it is worthwhile.
My daughter who was born by c-section is now 26 and due with twin boys any day. We know her risk of c-section is greater with twins. If it happens and keeps both boys safe we are fine with that.
As someone who had three natural, vaginal births, I have tried very much to be supportive of my sister and friends who’ve had C-sections. In my mind it is a double-whammy: all the new-mom experiences I had PLUS recovering from major surgery. They deserve twice the support of a mom recovering from a vaginal delivery!
Like an earlier poster, I also went through the 12 week Bradley course. Understanding and limiting the “interventions” recommended by the hospital staff meant that I labored at my body’s pace. The Bradley course also meant that my husband was educated and was my best advocate. He “ran interference” as he likes to put it!
I’m always confused by women who want to have a C-section with no medical reason?
“When will we feel we have given enough of our birthing power and choices over to the medical industry? When the C-section rate nationally is at 5o percent?”
I really don’t think we will see sweeping change until the U.S. crosses the 1 in 2 mark.
Your c-section series of posts is outstanding. This one is my favorite.
[…] feelings about her personal cesarean experience five years after the surgery. She goes on to give other women an opportunity to share some of their memories YEARS after their experiences. The insight I gained […]
My first baby was c-section due to breech. He was breech from 20 weeks on and never moved. I never went into labor and had a very easy c-section and very easy recovery. However, I did feel like I didn’t have a choice because I didn’t know anyone who would deliver breech and the doctors talked me out of doing an ECV. (I had no luck with natural methods).
With my second, she was breech as well and this time, I knew I would try ECV if natural methods failed. She, too, was breech from 20 weeks on, and natural methods failed, but I had a successful ECV and then a very easy VBAC. In the process of trying to find someone to do an ECV, I found doctors willing to catch breeches (if they are a certain type which both of mine were) but probably wouldn’t have done a breech VBAC. The midwives in the area are not comfortable with planned breech, especially not planned breech VBAC, so I am glad she turned. I had to go to a midwife/hospital 2 hours away, and it was worth it, but it was the maximum I could have realistically travelled with a 2 year old.
It is so important that women are educated and know how to advocate during their first pregnancy, because once you have a c-section your options drastically narrow. You can’t prevent every c-section or control how your birth goes, but if you ask the right questions during pregnancy, well before labor, and research your provider, you can, in most cases, have a better experience with less intervention.