Two Years Old

Cole is two years old today!  I have been thinking a lot about this week about my labor, delivery, and his birth.  He was technically born on the third Monday of May, and on Monday I was remembering the time line of his birth.

Having had a c-section with Ryan, I was attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian with Cole.)  I have been through a c-section birth before, but with Cole, it was obvious my first time being in labor.  I remember after 42 hours of labor, and a successful VBAC, I finally was holding my brand new baby boy, and I couldn’t believe how small and tiny he was.  I had forgotten what a newborn looked and felt like.  The tiny toes, the tiny fingers, the microscopic finger and toenails, the way his body just nestled into mine and Joe’s- like that space existed just for him.  I relished those first few days and weeks- knowing in a blink of an eye, my newborn would be gone forever, and in its place, I’d have a baby, toddler, and then a little boy.

Two years later, a little boy has replaced my sweet newborn.  His toes and fingers are no longer tiny.  He doesn’t fit ‘just so’ in my arms, and in a sense I have forgotten again the details of a newborn.  However, two years ago, I could not even begin to imagine how much I am in love with the little boy Cole is.

While he is no longer a baby, he is such a special little boy.  His smile lights up a room.  He loves trying to make us laugh, and he succeeds every day.  From playing peek-a-boo with the kitchen towel, to trying on all of our clothes and shoes, and parading around the house, with the biggest smile on his face. 

Cole thrives on touch, hugs, and kisses.  I will never be lacking a child to hug, kiss or cuddle with.  As he turns two, Cole is learning to talk quite well, with his favorite words being, “mama,” “dada,” “me,” “eat,” and of course, “Ryan.”

Cole loves his big brother to pieces, and has to do everything just like him.  The other day, Ryan’s foot was hurting, and after I was done inspecting it, Cole came running up to me, lifting his foot up too, “whining.” 

While he tries to be just like Ryan, he is also very much his own person.  I love seeing how his personality is changing and growing.  I like to see him develop his different skills, outside of Ryan.  One thing I have noticed is how mechanical he seems to be, and can already put anything back together that he takes apart.  He also loves babies.  Everywhere we go, when he sees a baby, he yells “Baby!” and starts waving hello. 

Two years ago, I had a newborn placed on my chest, and while I knew his name, weight, and eye color, for all practical purposes, he was a blank canvas- I knew absolutely nothing about him.  Today, on his second birthday, my little boy’s portrait is being filled in with the most brilliant and vibrant colors.  Every day I discover a new color that is added to his portrait.  While I know the canvas is always a work in progress, I am so privileged and blessed to be Cole’s mother, and to see his essence being painted.

Happy Birthday, my darling Cole.  I love you so very, very much.