One of the biggest concerns on my mind right now are my boys, Ryan and Cole. Not only are they adjusting to a divorce, but they also will have to deal with my cancer, the surgery, my being away from them for at least a week, and my recovery.
It is hard to know how much to tell them regarding my health and surgery. I don’t want them to be scared or wonder why no one is talking about what is happening with Mommy. On the other hand, I don’t want to scare them or give them reason to worry unnecessarily. Ryan picks up on everything, and Cole is right behind him.
So far, I have told both boys that I have an owie in my throat. I have told them I have to go to the hospital for an operation, and that will make the owie better. I have told them I have to stay in the hospital for a few days, but they get to have special time with their dad, and their grandparents.
They both seemed okay with this, but Ryan told his dad that my condition is serious and I could be in the hospital for a long time. That wasn’t the easy going attitude I was hoping for, so I am going to have to adjust my comments and work with Ryan so he isn’t so concerned about it.
This is the hardest part- trying to make my boys feel secure about my health, when I don’t feel that myself. One of my friends tells me she thinks there is a little Superhero in every mom. I hope she is right, because I need my Superhero Mom-Knows-What-the-Right-Thing-to-Say-to-my-Boys powers right now.
On a happier note, I was finally able to get Ryan’s five year pictures, and Cole’s three year pictures done. I will be taking these to the hospital with me. I will look at them often to remind me- this will all be worth while if I can be healthy for Ryan and Cole.
