I entered the blogosphere on January 27, 2007. My eldest son, Ryan, was 3. My “baby” Cole, was 8-months old. Eight years later, they aren’t babies, toddlers, or even children anymore. They are a pre-teen and a “tween”.
Ryan just started 6th grade and middle school. He’s now 11.5 years old- going on 60, as I like to say. He’s so responsible, caring, conscientious, and a wonderful big brother. He loves bikes, sprinting, Legos, football, Boy Scouts, and movies.
Cole just started 4th grade. He is 9. He’s funny, quick minded, and extremely good at math. He can do any impression, and has a lot of voices he likes to talk in. I think he could be the next Adam Sandler, if he wanted to. He loves bikes, lacrosse, Legos, inventing things, figuring out how things work, and movies.
I never planned to stop “Mommy Blogging.” I have truly loved it and I have a wonderful journal of many memories of my boys, these past eight years. Sometimes I’ll come across a post I wrote, read it and I really don’t even remember the event happening, but I blogged it, so I know it did happen. Some of those early years were a haze. But I’m so glad I blogged for the time I did, and have the written record of my boys’ early childhood days.
At times, blogging provided me with a much needed outlet- to share and connect with other women who I didn’t know in “real life” and of course my “real life” friends too, all of us who were trying to figure out this motherhood thing. It provided me a community of support and friends.
As I found my way, I started blogging about other issues that mattered to me as a mother and a woman. One of the most traumatic things I ever experienced was a C-section with the birth of Ryan. Writing my account of my C-section, “The Reality of C-Sections” post, what I had learned from it, sharing with other women, what I wasn’t told or prepared for, and my road to recovery from it, in January 2008 is the number one read blog post on A Mama’s Blog. It still receives over 150 page views a day. Seven years later it still is the post that generates the most views and readers to A Mama’s Blog.
That tells me, C-sections are still a real concern and subject of interest for women. If no one ever reads another post on A Mama’s Blog, the number of women who have read that post, leaves me with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. The hundreds and hundreds of emails I’ve received from women all over the WORLD, thanking me for sharing that and helping inform about C-Sections, it was one thing that I was able to do here: share and help heal from the trauma countless women experience from C-sections, but do not feel supported to heal from. Myself included. I’m incredibly humbled from all the stories I have heard from you- over the years, on your own traumatic C-sections.
Every time I read an email from a woman telling me my post made her reconsider an “elective C-section,” well, it matters. All the women who tell me they too, pushed and demanded a VBAC for their births after a C-section, after reading my story, has been inspiring. Women are finding their “birth voices” again, and speaking up. We have found that how we give birth DOES matter. To us, to our families, and to our babies. It is one of the legacies I feel evolved from A Mama’s Blog. We as women and mothers have power- and we have a right to have our voices heard. Never just settle for something because a doctor tells you this is how it is, if you feel it isn’t right. Trust your body and your instincts- your body does know how to give birth. And in turn, we give birth to the next generation and pass this along to them, so our sons and daughters are informed on their birth options when the time comes for them, and it will. Sooner than we can imagine.
I have stopped writing about Ryan and Cole now for some time. They are both very private, and I never felt right about “blogging” about them. I think it is one thing to share stories of them with the world, when they are babies, toddlers, and young children. But at some point, not sure exactly when- but it has happened- their stories aren’t mine to tell and share. They belong to my boys. I have a wonderful relationship with them, and I would never want to betray that or have them find out and see some day I was sharing their stories about them, on a blog. It’s more important to me to have that trust with them, than to be a “Mommy Blogger.” So the past few years, I’ve blogged not about them- but issues I found interesting, my health, and my running.
I couldn’t pull the plug on blogging altogether. I couldn’t and didn’t want to say “good-bye” to A Mama’s Blog– my blog. I love writing. I have always been a writer. I found an audience and built a wonderful readership here. Writing saved my sanity when I was going through a divorce and cancer in 2009, and once again, I found a supportive community of many others, who were going through similar issues.
But it never felt like a fit, writing about these different subjects after I stopped blogging about Ryan and Cole. A Mama’s Blog is a parenting blog. It was meant to be about children, babies, birth, being mothers, and how that brought us all together as women. It’s never felt quite right to me, to totally have it go in a different direction from this.
So I have made the decision to let all the posts I wrote from my heart and shared with the world, through A Mama’s Blog, stand on their own, and leave it. As it was meant to be- a blog about a new mother figuring out parenting, and evolving, hoping one day her sons would want to read some it, and see who their mother was, as a person- beyond as they saw me as “Mom.” Going through life’s up’s and down’s, but remembering no matter what- my boys were the best and most important thing that ever happened to me. That is how I want A Mama’s Blog to stand, to be remembered, and come across in Google searches. 🙂
As for Ryan and Cole- one day- they will have this blog that their mother wrote- for them really, from my heart. It was always about Ryan and Cole- no matter what. My goal with writing A Mama’s Blog, is complete now.
This means me closing the book on my very successful (for me) blog, that I spent years creating. I remember thinking when I started writing my blog, if I had 50 readers one day, well I would consider myself happy and that would be great. When I checked my stats, one last time today, and I’ve not checked them for a very long time, my mouth fell open when I saw I had 50 readers of course but also had almost TEN THOUSAND times that to date. Over the years almost half a million visitors have read my blog, and they have generated almost one million page views! That wasn’t me- that was you, the readers, who made A Mama’s Blog part of your lives. As a sleep deprived mom, just starting to write about her life as a new mom, that was a dream I never thought I possible, but it filled my heart with a lot of joy today, realizing what the blog has grown to.
A Mama’s Blog opened up opportunities for me I never imagined. I was a blogger for the American Cancer Society for a year in 2010. I was able to help so many people going through thyroid cancer. I got to go to New York for this. I have met so many wonderful mothers and bloggers over the years, some of who have turned into very good friends. I had more opportunities open up to me that I just never had time to take on, but it always touched me that others resonated with what I was blogging and wanted to work with me. I never would have imagined the success I had, writing that first blog post about Ryan and Cole, one January evening in 2007. I have loved every minute of blogging.
Like many aspects of motherhood, we sacrifice our personal preferences at times, for our children. I would love to write about my boys- they are truly amazing- but I don’t come first. They do. They always have and always will. They were my inspiration and reasons for starting A Mama’s Blog, and they are my inspiration and reason for concluding it now. It’s time. It’s the end of an era.
So the time has come for me to write this final post. I can’t really find the words to thank all my readers and subscribers over the years. So many readers write and thank me for writing a post. But, really without my readers, I wouldn’t have had a successful blog. The “thanks” is mutual. There are no words to really express my appreciation and gratitude for my blog readers. There were many times, when I really didn’t know what I was going to do- when I was sick, or in a hard spot. I’d receive an email from a reader, or a comment, and it gave me such hope or inspired me some way.
That is another aspect I love about blogging- it’s not just one sided. I may write, but I learn just as much from reading comments and emails my readers send to me too.
I am leaving A Mama’s Blog as it is. I’m not closing down the site. I have closed all the comments though, and I’m not going to write new content. I will leave all the posts up and I know it will still continue to reach women. Maybe that new mother up at 3AM one night, searching for a topic about her new baby or motherhood, that she’s concerned about, will be guided to A Mama’s Blog. A woman suffering from a post traumatic C-section will come across my posts about C-sections. A scared cancer patient may find something I wrote about it, helpful, and feel not so alone or scared. Or a mother will just read something and realize she isn’t in this by herself- others have been through where she is now, made it through, and she will too. One quote I used a lot in my posts were, “This too, shall pass.” It always does, and we all have incredible resilience as women and mothers- more than we know at times. I always wanted to help women and I feel leaving A Mama’s Blog site up will continue to do that.
I’m going to leave A Mama’s Blog’s Facebook Page up for now, but I’m not going to be active there anymore either. It’s a public site and there are some links to various issues relating to motherhood I’ve found interesting, but it isn’t where my passion is.
Thinking about what to do about A Mama’s Blog over the years, has lead me to a new experience and a new blog. I never wanted to give up blogging, but never felt as passionate about any other subjects like I did mothering, to motivate me to put the energy into starting a new blog.
But, sometimes it’s not the right time for a new venture. When it is- you know it. While A Mama’s Blog is ending, I’m very excited to announce I’m starting a brand new blog. This isn’t about my children, it’s about me. I know it will require starting all over again- from the first reader, but I found an audience for A Mama’s Blog, and I know I will find an audience for my new blog.
The subjects are quite different, and while some of A Mama’s Blog readers may follow my new blog, and of course I would love that, I realize a different subject, different audience. I wanted to let my readers know though; I’m not just completely vanishing. I am a writer and my new blog is the subject that I’m passionate about now and is a subject I can share and write about.
My new blog is Running Free Blog. It is about my transitioning from traditionalist running to minimalist running style, and my journey to finally run a marathon with this running method. It isn’t a “running blog” per say, but I hope it will inspire and motivate my readers to follow their dreams, whether that is running, or looking for a new job. My dream is to run a marathon injury free. If you aren’t a runner, it doesn’t matter- we can achieve whatever we want, if we allow our minds to believe we can. That is part of the journey and the process. I’m going to be writing about that, as much as I am about running.
I’m also going to be providing tips for people who are running the traditional way and sharing what I’m learning about minimalist “barefoot” running too. I’m going to share how you can run low cost as well- you don’t have to spend a lot of money to run. I am going share my love of running and how I inspire and train myself, as a busy single mother, who works full time, and has other things going on in life. It will be my next journey- from the first steps I run minimalist- to the finish line of a marathon- and everything in between.
So while I hope you join me at Running Free Blog, I realize sometimes you can’t take the past with you. It’s a new chapter for me. I look forward to connecting with many of my A Mama’s Blog reader’s at Running Free Blog and Running Free Blog’s Facebook Page. I look forward to all the new connections I will make too, who will hopefully allow me to inspire and motivate them- even just a little bit- to achieve anything they can dream of. I know in turn, you will help continue to inspire me- you always have.
It’s the end of an era for A Mama’s Blog, but what an era it has been! The last thing I have left to say to my readers is THANK YOU! Thank you from my heart, for the last 8 years and 7 months, being my blog’s readers, subscribers, supporters, but most of all- my friends. ♥♥♥
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Now for the final pictures.
These were the first two pictures I ever posted of Ryan and Cole in my first ever blog post. Ages 3 and 8-months. Their first appearance on the blog.
This is Cole and Ryan on August 19, 2015 on the first day of school. Ages 9 and 11.5. Their final appearance on the blog.
T.S. Eliot