Categories
Family & Friends Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

Happy March Birthing Days

I wanted to say congratulations to three of my friends, who all had babies in March.  Ironically, they were all due within a week or so of each other, and the last baby was born today- Yea!  Two of the mama’s live out of state (in the same state, but they don’t know each other), and the other mama lives in my state. 

My first friend to deliver, E., was due on March 20th.  She had a scheduled c-section on Wednesday March 12th, because her baby was breech.  E., knew she was having a boy, and Wyatt was born at 9:01am.  He was 7lbs. 15oz.  He has light, wispy hair just like his mama, and is absolutely adorable.  He has the cutest, chubbiest, cheeks.  E., and Wyatt are home, and despite Wyatt having a bit of jaundice, they are doing well. 

Our second friend to deliver, T., was not due until March 25th.  At her recent check-up they discovered T. was developing preeclampsia so the decision was made to induce that day.  After being administered the drugs to control the preeclampsia and being in labor for over 14 hours, T., delivered her daughter, Molly via c-section.  T., did not know what the gender of her baby was until she said she heard the doctor say, “It’s a girl.”  Molly was born on March 18th at 6:14pm.  She was 7lbs. 10oz.  She has a lot of dark hair, and is beautiful.  I think Molly looks like her dad, and Joe thinks she looks just like T.  After recovering for a few days in the hospital, T., and Molly are at home now resting, and healing. 

Finally, my friend N., welcomed her third son, Kieran, this morning, March 25th, at 9:25am.  N. was due on the 20th, so she was very ready for Kieran to be born.  Kieran weighed 7 lbs. 7oz.  I haven’t seen any pictures yet, but N., says he has light colored hair and blue eyes.  N., delivered Kieran at home, with a relatively short labor.  Kieran was born after the third push.  Since N., lives in my state, I can’t wait to see Kieran in person.

I am so thrilled, happy, and excited for all three of my friends!  For E., and T., they are first time mama’s, and there is nothing like having your first baby.  N., is an awesome mother already with her two boys, and now there is a new brother, and I know she will excel as a mother of three.  They all did amazing jobs bringing their babies into the world, under different circumstances- they are all powerful birthing goddesses! 

Congratulations to E., T., N., and their families.  I  know they are all enjoying their sweet new babies.  We love you all!  🙂

Categories
Cole Current Events Health Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth Ryan

Vaccines, Autism, & Government Liability

Cross-posted at BlogherAn excerpt from Attorney Daily:   “Government health officials have conceded that childhood vaccines worsened a rare, underlying ailment that in due course led to autism-like symptoms in a Georgia girl, and that she should be rewarded from a federal vaccine-injury fund.”This story has also been in the newspapers and on the news.  While I don’t believe that vaccines cause autism in every child, or the reason a child is autistic is because of vaccines, I do believe vaccines can harm children that may have other factors going on with them, like the above case. 

 

I don’t think there is a “one size fits all” for every child, when it comes to vaccinations.  While some babies and children can tolerate the recommended vaccination schedule by the American Academy of Pediatrics, I think it is becoming very obvious to many parents that this may not be the best schedule for their child.

In our case, I did not see the need for my babies– at birth- to have a Hepatitis B vaccination.  Hepatitis B is a blood borne disease.  It can only be contracted by coming in contact with an infected person’s blood, or by sexual contact.  Since Ryan and Cole would be at home with me full-time, the risk was extremely low, that our newborns would be coming in contact with a Hep. B infected person’s blood.  Hepatitis B can live and survive on dried blood for about a week.  As Ryan got older, the probability increased that he could come in contact with dried blood- still not likely, but more probable than when he was a newborn.  At this point we decided to have him vaccinated for Hepatitis B.  We will do the same with Cole when he gets older.  Both our boys are on a delayed immunization schedule. 

I firmly believe that all the vaccines that are recommended for such small babies and children, could harm them. It may not show up as autism, but it could magnify itself as a behavior problem or even allergies.  I read an article not too long ago, which said there was some research being conducted which was trying to see if there was a link between allergies and vaccines. The thought was when a newborn and children under the age of 2 or so, are subjected to so many vaccinations, many mixed together, (MMR for example), it overwhelms the child’s underdeveloped immune system.  Since the child’s system is so busy fighting and making antibodies to these vaccines, something has to give, and it can’t fight off the common triggers for allergies. 

Whether this link will be shown or not, it does make sense to me in the fact that how can we expect a baby’s immune system which isn’t developed, to be able to fight off all the vaccines and allergen triggers they are exposed to? 

I also find it disturbing that so many of the vaccines are mixed together.  I suppose this is done so the baby only has to have one shot, but given that there is so much that is still unknown about what happens when vaccines are mixed together, there should at least be the option for parents to have their children receive only one vaccine at a time.  I would rather have my baby get another shot, than be increasing his chances of developing autism. 

I learned first hand that in this day and age, that isn’t even an option, we were holding out immunizing Ryan for measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR).  A lot of the research I had done had stated numerous children have had problems right after receiving this vaccine.  Some within 24 hours of having it, started displaying autistic symptoms.  Numerous more suffered bad reactions and had several days of high fevers, vomiting, and other problems.

After doing more research on the measles and mumps rates in my area, I learned there was only one case of measles in my area within the last two years, and two cases of mumps.  The measles case was in a child that had been adopted from a foreign country.  Rubella (German measles) are only contracted by females.  It just seemed ridiculous that we could be possibly jeopardizing our son’s health with serious consequences for diseases that were not a problem in our area. When I asked Ryan’s doctor at the time why boys need to be immunized for rubella, (even though they can never contract it), he said it was to protect pregnant women.  Rubella can be devastating to a pregnant woman’s baby. 

Before I got pregnant for the first time, I got immunized for rubella (I didn’t know for sure if I ever had been vaccinated for it).  I was told to wait three months before trying to become pregnant, and that was that.  Why are we possibly compromising our children’s health and giving them immunizations to protect adults, who should be capable of being immunized later in life for rubella?  What are the chances an infected female child with rubella would come in contact with a pregnant woman and infect her, (assuming they weren’t family members?)  It seems like this is overkill for situations that have low probabilities of happening in the first place.  When was the last time you heard of a pregnant woman’s baby being harmed from rubella by an un-vaccinated girl?  When was the last time you heard of or know of a child who was diagnosed with autism, Asperger syndrome, or severe allergies? 

Back to the MMR vaccine.  We wanted to delay this vaccine for as long as possible when a mumps outbreak occurred in my county.  Mumps can cause sterility in boys, in severe cases, and we were concerned.  I thought I could just call my doctor at the time and ask for the mumps vaccines, bypassing the measles and rubella ones.  WRONG.

You would have thought I had called and asked for a Nobel Prize winner in medicine to develop a new vaccine, available only for Ryan.  It took the nurse two days to call me back after asking me why in the world I would want just the mumps vaccine- didn’t I know about the MMR vaccine?  She said she had to “check into it.”  She finally told me that they don’t make just a mumps vaccine by itself, not in the MR mix.  A few of my friends were also concerned and one of my friends said her doctor (who is now our doctor) could order just the mumps vaccine, but it only came in large quantities and he would have to order the entire case.  He said if we could come up with about 25 kids who only wanted the mumps vaccine he would order it, but otherwise it was not profitable for him to do it.

I understand where he was coming from.  This doctor is a single practice, and he does have to watch his costs.  But the first place was a large clinic in town.  I had seen 25 kids in the waiting room every time I went there.  Surely, they would have other parents who only wanted a mumps vaccine.  I was furious that they wouldn’t order just the mumps vaccine.  I called them back and asked them again about this, and the bottom line was they just didn’t want to do that, and said the mumps vaccine needed to be given with the measles and rubella vaccine, and their doctors were not interested in giving separate mumps vaccines.

Needless to say, this was just ridiculous.  From the moment I saw Ryan, and Cole, I let my instincts guide me.  They have not been wrong yet.  Something just tells me all these vaccines can’t be good for their systems when they are so young.  Even though I don’t need “proof” from the government that vaccines can be harmful, it does reinforce that when you listen to your instincts as a parent, you are usually right.

I hope this case today helps parents, who have children with autism or any other vaccine injuries in the future.  I hope it gives other parents food for thought.  Just because something is recommended by your doctor, the government, the pediatric associations, or anyone else, etc. you don’t have to do it, if it feels wrong.  Trust your instincts. 

Categories
c-sections Current Events Mothering Pregnancy & Birth

The Business of Being Born – My Review

I watched The Business of Being Born  (TBOBB) last night (available now through Netflix).  This is a documentary produced by former talk show host, Ricki Lake, on the state of birthing in America.  As I posted the other night, in short the summary of the film is this: (from The Business of Being Born’s Website)

Birth: it’s a miracle. A rite of passage. A natural part of life. But more than anything, birth is a business. Compelled to find answers after a disappointing birth experience with her first child, actress Ricki Lake recruits filmmaker Abby Epstein to examine and question the way American women have babies.

The film interlaces intimate birth stories with surprising historical, political and scientific insights and shocking statistics about the current maternity care system. When director Epstein discovers she is pregnant during the making of the film, the journey becomes even more personal.

Should most births be viewed as a natural life process, or should every delivery be treated as a potentially catastrophic medical emergency?

As I settled in to watch, I was expecting a “good” documentary on a subject that interests me.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t watch very many documentaries, and had kind of figured this would be like The Baby Story, but in reverse.  Instead of seeing high drama-hospital medical births with drugs and C-sections, I would see midwives and natural home births. 

In no way was I prepared for my reaction.  Shortly into the 1 hour and 24 minute documentary, I was in tears, sobbing.  It was like a floodgate had been opened, and every vented up emotion that I had about my own experiences giving birth, was released.

I was in awe of the beautiful, natural, and peaceful births shown at home, with skilled and highly trained midwives.  During labor, the mothers were roaming around their homes, freely and unobstructed.  There was a woman who had a water birth, with her young son watching, totally calm and relaxed.  There were images of newly born home birthed babies lying peacefully and contentedly on their mother’s chests just seconds after being born, gazing lovingly up in their mother’s eyes. The mother’s, though tired from just giving birth were alert, happy, and peaceful.

Those images were contrasted with the “typical” hospital birth.  Women in bed, hooked up to monitors, oxygen masks, and IV’s, with drug cocktails dripping into their systems.  Babies left screaming and crying in the incubators by themselves, or not “allowed” to be with their mothers immediately after birth. One scene showed an exhausted mother, being prepped and wheeled off on a gurney to the operating room for a C-section.  It was not hurried, so I don’t believe it was an emergency C-section, rather more likely than not, she was not able to birth her baby in the allotted time that so many hospitals have.  She had her eyes closed, totally detached from the experience, and it struck me like she was a lamb going off to the proverbial slaughter.

It was so striking seeing that, compared to the homebirths.  The women at home were in control and had complete and entire power over the birth of their babies. They were the ones who decided when it was time to birth their baby, and they had total confidence in their bodies.  They didn’t need IV’s, drugs dripping in their systems, weakening the labor process, constant monitoring, doctors and nurses telling them when to push, and micromanaging their labors, and they didn’t need C-sections.

As I sat there watching this, I kept thinking of the women shown having their babies at home, and THAT is what birth is supposed to be like.  That is how women have given birth for thousands and thousands of years, until the last fifty years or so in America.  Women should be the ones to dictate how the birthing of their child, their flesh and blood goes, not doctors, nurses, and hospitals who have to practice defensive medicine to avoid lawsuits, and to meet insurance companies criteria. 

It was a powerful moment for me, and I realized how angry I have been about Ryan’s birth.  I have written about my C-section before, but in summary, the only reason I had to have a C-section with Ryan was because he was breech.  No other complications or problems.  A C-section was my only “option.”  Doctors don’t “do” breech vaginal deliveries anymore and certainly not where I lived.    At the time, I didn’t consider home birth an option, and in my state it is illegal for midwives to knowingly deliver a breech baby anyway. 

I trusted that my doctor was doing her best for me, but in reality she was only doing what she “had” to do. Advise me a C-section was the “safest” way to deliver a breech baby.  She was in a large HMO practice, and even though she told me about doulas and exercises I could do to try to turn the baby, she probably couldn’t have told me the truth about what I was in for, even if she had wanted to.  I am sure she had strict guidelines to operate under.

TBOBB gets right to the root of this terrible epidemic- women are basically forced to give away their birthing power and choices to the doctors and hospitals, without really realizing what is going to be “done” to them, because it is not explained for the most part to them ahead of time.  As I watched that poor, drained, and drugged, mother being wheeled off to her C-section, I saw myself in her- I saw her power gone, totally helpless and at the “mercy” of the surgeon who was about to operate on her, because her body “failed,” and she could not give birth.

I realized for the first time ever, that I felt like I had failed Ryan and failed my body, because I was not allowed to even try to give birth to him.  Even though I doubt my doctor wanted to make me feel like that, it was recorded in my subconscious, that because my baby was breech, somehow my body “failed” at being able to get him in the “correct” birthing position, and now the only option was for her to step in and “save” me, save my baby by cutting open my abdomen and performing surgery to get him out alive.  I felt totally duped and mislead. 

Never mind that babies used to be born breech all the time, even when they had less technology.  Joe’s oldest sister was born breech in the 60’s, and guess what? She was born healthy and Joe’s mother was just fine too.  Never mind that one of my good friends gave birth at home to a surprise breech footling 9.5-pound baby boy in 2006.  Guess what?  Her son couldn’t be any healthier today, and she was fine too.

I was mad after seeing the peaceful homebirths that the state of birthing in this country is what it is, in that it denies women the opportunity to have the birth that they want.  It doesn’t even allow for exploration of the choice, it just eliminates any choice whatsoever. 

I was very impressed and surprised that there were so many doctors, and OB/GYN’s in the film saying that the current system wasn’t working either. One of the doctors at Mt. Sinai in the film said something to the effect that if something isn’t done, and if someone doesn’t step in, the caesarean rate will soon be at 100%. 

Several of the doctors said that with a skilled midwife, homebirth was very safe, and was usually a good option for women.

I was thrilled to see Ina May Gaskin (the most famous midwife in the world) in the film.  I had the privilege of hearing her speak in a town near me last May.  She pointed out that she didn’t have a mother who needed a c-section in her care until birth number 187.  Contrast that with 1 in 3 births today end in a C-section. 

One of Ina May’s quotes that she had in the movie, which I loved, was right before she gave the C-section number in her practice, was an answer to the argument that women in America are different from other women in the world, hence the high C-section rate.  Right after she stated that they didn’t see a C-section until birth number 187, and then they didn’t see it again until a birth in the 300’s (I can’t remember the exact number she gave).   She said, (and I went back and reviewed several times what she said, and wrote it down), “That tells me the pelvis of the American woman is just fine-thank you very much.”

There was another man who was in the movie several times, with some powerful statistics and commentaries.  Forgive me, but I did not get his name at the beginning, and by the end of the film I was too exhausted to go back and find his name.  But he was the older gentleman with the short grey beard, and I believe he was a doctor, but am not for certain. 

He was giving a lot of background information on birth in this country, and how they used to tie and strap women down in the hospital, give drugs during labor that caused children to have severe deformities, etc.  He said at one point, “If you want a humanized birth, get the hell out of the hospital.” 

He also drew a great analogy.  He mentioned that when he speaks to groups of OB/GYN’s and tell them about home birth, he said he always gets groans and heads shaking.  Then he asks the doctor’s who have actually witnessed a home birth to raise their hands.  He said he has never gotten a doctor yet, who has actually observed a home birth.  He said they are like a geographer who is trying to describe a country that they have never been to, but are too afraid to visit.  I couldn’t agree more.    

There was another doctor an, older OB/GYN in the film who was also a researcher.  I didn’t catch his name, but I do remember his credentials.   He was from another country, (Ireland?), and had a heavy accent, so when he spoke there were subtitles.  This made it very easy to write down what he said.  He had many, many, compassionate and very true things to say about birth, and how we need to just stop down the road we are going and go back to square one.  He said square one starts with the midwife.

There were so many other important points and information in this movie.  It was amazing.  I didn’t know it was possible to make so many points about birth in just under an hour and half.  It touched me deeply, and I imagine it would strike a cord with almost any woman, whether you “believe” in homebirth or not. 

It wasn’t so much a “homebirth” message, but a message on birthing, and women are powerful and are capable of managing their births the way they want.  It shows that there are some options that we don’t hear about very often, the option of homebirth.

The only small critique I have of the film is when they showed statistics, it would have been helpful to list the source of the statistic.  It could have been listed in the closing credits, but I didn’t watch for it. I think it would have been more powerful and more creditable to list the source of the statistic when it is shown.  But it is an excellent film, and one that I hope to watch again. 

If you have even the slightest interest in maternity care, or why hospitals and doctors do the things they do during birth, this film is a must see.  It is by far the BEST media subject I have seen on birth.  If you do watch The Baby Story, watch this.  You will be astonished.  I am so grateful that this film was made.  At the very least it has helped me in the last 24 hours come to terms with the feelings I have about Ryan’s birth. 

I will leave you with a quote, which was extremely powerful for me, from the wonderful OB/GYN researcher in the film.  He said so elegantly, when talking about what we are doing is clearly not working, and is not what is best for mothers and their babies was this,” When you talk with certain women who still have a sort of intuitive knowledge of the importance of what is happening when the baby is born, they cannot accept that caesarean section is the future.  They cannot accept that.” 

Categories
Pregnancy & Birth

The Business of Being Born- On Its Way

I have been waiting to see Ricki Lake’s documentary, The Business of Being Born, for what seems like forever now.  When it was released last year, it was only shown in selected theaters, in selected cities.  While there were a few showings of it in cities around me, I was never able to go.  Then the DVD release was delayed by about a month.  Nevertheless I put the DVD in our number one spot on our Netflix’s que, and today I received the e-mail: The DVD is on its way, and should be here tomorrow!  Hooray! 

I am really hoping to watch it tomorrow night, but Wednesday’s are a really long day for us, so I might have to wait until Thursday night.  At any rate I am doing a happy dance.  I will of course blog about it once I view it.  There has been a lot of buzz around this documentary, so I can’t wait to see it for myself.  Here is a summary of the film from The Business of Being Born’s Website:

Birth: it’s a miracle. A rite of passage. A natural part of life. But more than anything, birth is a business. Compelled to find answers after a disappointing birth experience with her first child, actress Ricki Lake recruits filmmaker Abby Epstein to examine and question the way American women have babies.

The film interlaces intimate birth stories with surprising historical, political and scientific insights and shocking statistics about the current maternity care system. When director Epstein discovers she is pregnant during the making of the film, the journey becomes even more personal.

Should most births be viewed as a natural life process, or should every delivery be treated as a potentially catastrophic medical emergency?

Categories
Cole Mothering Parenting Pregnancy & Birth Ryan

Potty Training-Second Time Around

I think we have officially moved into potty training Cole- all at his insistence.  What a difference this time around.  Here is a summary of how we prepared to potty train Ryan:

Around 18 months, we decide we should start prepping Ryan for potty training.  We buy a potty training potty, and a toilet insert so he can sit on the toilet if he wants, without falling in.  All the books, articles, and speaking to friends, tell me some kids like to have their feet on the floor, and some like to sit on the toilet.  We start “talking up” potty training.  I become almost OCD, asking Ryan if he wants to sit on the potty, every hour.  He never wants to.  I try harder.  I switch him to cloth diapers, so he will start getting used to having a wet feeling, assuming this will all move him in the direction of wanting to use the potty himself. 

At 24 months, I feel like a complete failure, because Ryan is still not potty trained.  More advice from friends and the doctor tell me usually boys aren’t fully potty trained until three or four.   I can’t see myself changing diapers for another year, especially since I had Cole on the way in four months.   I decide to keep him undressed from the waist down during the days we were at home, in his Baby Legs, assuming this will move him in the direction of wanting to use the potty himself.  Cleaned up more pee on the living room floor during this time than I ever thought possible.  Watched movies about Elmo, and Joshua (Once Upon A Potty), going to the potty so many times, I lost brain cells.  How bad is it when you can’t get the Going to the Potty song out of your head, and you know all the words?

At 35 months, I still had an “untrained” toddler.  I also had a 6 month old baby, and have been changing diapers for two.  Ryan is slowly, slowly, wanting to use the potty more, but still likes his diapers.  Nothing I have tried has been the magic key to unlock the treasure chest of the toddler going potty by himself.  Out of sheer desperation, I decide when he turns three (in one month), I am going to stop his diapers “cold turkey” and he will only wear underwear.  I also resort to the experienced potty training mom’s top secret weapon- the M&M.  (Let me just say, this was one of the things I swore, vowed, and told myself I would never, never, do, before having children, when I knew everything there was to know about raising kids.  M&M’s were for those other mom’s who couldn’t get their child potty trained.) 

At 36 months, operation Potty-Training-Because-I-Am-Going-Nuts-Changing-Two-Sets-of-Diapers-Everyday, was underway.  God bless the M&M!  I am sorry to every mother I ever judged for using them, because after a year and half of me trying, suggesting, gently reminding, using a sticker chart, toys, movies, books, and anything and everything else, the M&M finally does the trick. It is the key to the toilet for the toddler!   Ryan actually wants to go on the potty, and starts doing it himself.  God bless the M&M!

At 39 months, I have reached toilet training Nirvana!  A potty trained toddler!

After going through all of that- (and that is the short version), I am in no rush to potty train Cole. He has been interested in the potty for months, watching Ryan very intently when Ryan goes.  When Cole was about six months old, I came across a Baby Bjorn Potty at a consignment sale that I got for Cole.  It was smaller than the potty chair we had for Ryan, and if nothing else,  I thought he may like sitting on it when it comes time for him to watch Joshua (it is the same type of potty that Joshua uses in the book and movie). 

Cole took a liking to it right away, and has often sat on it, sometimes even taking his diaper off.  As of lately, he doesn’t like to sit on it without his diaper.  When Joe was watching him one afternoon before Christmas, he saw Cole’s cues, and had him sit on it.  Cole used the potty.  He has done it a few times since, but since we are not training him, it hasn’t been consistent.

During the last week, I have noticed that Cole will pull his diaper down, and he’ll be walking around the house with his pants and his diaper to his ankles.  One time I tried to pull the diaper back up, but he threw a fit.  I noticed then, that the diaper was wet.  He doesn’t like the feeling of the wet diaper!  (Can I get a Hallelujah?)  He has also started coming to get us, the moment he is done pooping.  He points to his bum and won’t do anything until we change his diaper!  (Can I get another Hallelujah?) Today, after his nap, I was folding laundry and he kept pulling at my hand.  I thought he wanted to show me a toy, and I kept telling him in a moment.  He was just as insistent and wouldn’t stop pulling on my hand.

I finally put the laundry down, and asked him what he wanted.  He took my hand, and led ME to the bathroom, pointed to his potty and sat down.  He started making his little potty noises, but he wouldn’t let me take his diaper off.  He was so proud, and it was so cute. He is trying to be such a big boy, but just hasn’t made the connection that his diaper actually has to be off for the whole potty thing to work.  Here is a picture of my proud little boy:

005-copy1.jpg

When he stood up, he had gone potty.  I know he’ll eventually figure it out- that he has to take his diaper off, before he sits down, 😉  and so far just leaving him alone has worked out well.  It also helps that I am not pregnant, and stressed about getting him trained before a new baby arrives.  But what a difference a second child has made.  Maybe that is the secret- leave them alone, and they will figure it out. 

Turns out I didn’t potty train Ryan- he trained me- he trained me to realize that steps and milestones will be made and reached when it is time.  Yes, the M&M’s helped, but they were a tool. What I failed to see at the time was, he just wasn’t ready.  The M&M’s only worked because Ryan was ready to use the potty on HIS timetable- not mine.  Lesson learned. 

So, this is the attitude I take in with me, as Cole starts potty training.  I can’t quite believe my “baby” is ready for potty training though.  But, I think the second time around will be much more enjoyable for all involved.  Somehow I don’t think I’ll be needing the M&M’s this time  🙂