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Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

“Not In Front of People, Mom”

Childhood is full of milestones: first smile, first laugh, crawling, first word, walking, and the list goes on.  Sometimes it seems with a baby, new milestones are reached every day and are noted.  Now that my kids are getting older, these events seem fewer and far between.  Or maybe as parents, we just grow accustomed to our kids doing new things, so not everything they do draws the attention like it did when they were babies.

Recently, Ryan had two milestones that made me stop and take notice.   The first one was last week, on the day I pick him up from school.  The class was lined up outside, like they always do, and his teacher, Mrs. G., excuses the kids to go with their parents.  When she called Ryan’s name, he went and gave her a big hug.  Then he walked over to me, and I started to hug him, like I always do, and he pushed me away.  Then he said, “Not at school, Mom.” 

I was a little puzzled since he had just hugged Mrs. G.  I guess it is okay to hug your teacher, but not your mom.  As we walked to the car, I asked him if he was too big now to hug me.  He kind of avoided the question, until we were in the car, and then said, “I still want to hug you, but not in front of people, Mom.”  I joked with him and told him he was too cool now to hug me, and I understood.

But wow.  That happened fast.

The second event started last week.  We were at Costco getting the tires rotated, and Ryan told me he had to use the restroom.  I started to take him, and then asked him if he was okay going to the men’s room.  He told me yes, he could read, and he knows which one is the men’s room.  I didn’t want to follow him too closely, but I watched him from afar, and he went into the men’s room, and came out a few minutes later.  He told me he washed his hands, and he added, “I am a man now, because I use the men’s room.”

I told him he wasn’t quite a man yet, but he was on his way, and he was big enough to go to the restroom by himself when we are out- he just has to tell me.  So today we were out, and he told me he was going to go use the men’s room. 

It seems funny but also a bit sad at the same time.  As a mother, seeing your children become a little less dependent on you, it reminds you of how helpless they once were, but also how incredibly far they have come.  It’s a part of life.  It doesn’t mean though at times, it isn’t bittersweet. 

It makes me cherish the time I have with Cole, who can’t hug me enough, and doesn’t want to use the men’s room by himself-yet.

Categories
Activities Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

The Iron Scooter Challenge

Ryan and Cole have been asking for scooters.  Their friends in the neighborhood all have scooters and they have been wanting to join them on their scooter rides.  I held off to make sure they really wanted them, and they have kept asking for them, so Wednesday night I got both boys a new scooter.    

Thursday after work was scooter inaugural day.  It was drizzling off and on, but they still wanted to try them out.  Ryan’s scooter popped out of the box.  There was a release lever I had to adjust, and his was ready to go.  He zipped around in the kitchen while I opened Cole’s. 

My palms turned sweaty, and my heart started beating fast, when I opened the box to Cole’s scooter and saw a bag of nuts, screws, washers, and other silver things, I had no name for.  There was also something that looked like a hybrid wrench, a piece of paper with a drawing of a scooter that looked like it was made by a 3-year old, the handle bars, and the front wheel.  It all clunked out of the box. 

I am NOT mechanical.  Assembling things together is one of the things I hate most.  There is ALWAYS a part missing, or part of the directions that don’t make sense.  If I had known I had to actually attempt to assemble Cole’s scooter, I would have waited until someone could help me.  But I was already too far in it.  I had my 6-year old zipping around in the kitchen on his scooter, and my almost 4-year old, with his big blue eyes looking at me, asking me when I would have his scooter together.  This is what “they” mean when “they” say parenting challenges you in ways you never imagine.

I picked up the directions, and the first step was:

Assemble back wheels with washers, axle, and spring washer 

What is a spring washer exactly? Are there summer and winter washers too?  The wheels were already on the deck.  Did this mean they weren’t really on securely, or someone nice from the factory did the first step for me?  I decided the latter, and moved on to step 2:

Insert axle through rear axle bearings

Uh-yea. I had no idea what that meant, so I hoped it was still a step I could skip thanks to the nice person in the factory in China.  Step 3:

Slide a plastic spacer and third washer onto axle bolt followed by second wheel

Yay- it was my lucky day. Clearly this step was also done too. Step 4:

More mumbo-jumbo about axels, washers, and nuts.  Then I noticed on the bottom of the directions, it said the assembly is for general use, and you may need to refer to the back side for more specific directions.  I knew it was too easy.   I read through the “specific” directions once, than twice, and then a third time.  They should have had a class in this mechanical language in school.  Step 1:

Slide metal washer down over the stem of the front forks.  Slide the stem of the front forks up into the main frame until it is seated on the metal washer at the base of the front forks stem.  Place the clamp bracket assembly over the stem of the front forks so that the nut and bolt face towards the foot deck.  Ensure the slot in the fork stem of the front forks faces towards the foot deck.

Dear God…what did I ever do to deserve this?  Forget Iron Chef- they should make a reality show on who can assemble kid’s stuff in under an hour.   

I won’t bore you with steps 3 and 4 of the instructions, but it got down to clamp nuts, 13mm spanners, and minimum / maximum heights.  Ryan was a great help- he held a lot of parts still for me while I twisted the hybrid wrench around the bolt. I just kept hoping,-somehow- when I was done, it would be a scooter. 

I finally had it together and had Cole get on it to try it out.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself, until he touched it, and the front handle bars, slid down all the way into the front pipe-thing.  If Cole was about 24 inches shorter, he would have had one cool scooter.  Instead he said, “I don’t think that is right Mommy.” 

So I took the damn scooter apart and started all over again.  Somehow the directions made just a little more sense, but that was probably because now I had read them fifty times, instead of just three times.  Half way through, I realized my error.  Silly me.  It was right there in step 1: Ensure the slot in the fork stem of the front forks faces towards the foot deck.  The small slot was not facing the foot deck- I had put it on backwards. 

I was humming “Hallelujah” as I screwed the final nut or bolt back on again.  My kids were not impressed.  Ryan was looking at me, and pointed to the front wheel. The handle bars were now turned backwards.  If Cole had Inspector Gadget arms, he would have had one cool scooter.

“They” say the third time is the charm.  I unscrewed all those fricking bolts, nuts, and autumn washers- again.  This time I had Ryan hold everything- the frame, the handle bars, and the front wheel while I assembled it.  Finally, when I was done, I kid you not, sun streamed in through the window, and I knew this was a sign.  The moment of truth came when he stepped on it.  Nothing fell down.  His arms worked with it.  Everything lined up right.  Cole had one cool scooter!

I am not going to go crazy and start buying stuff to assemble myself like bookcases, and desks, but I am glad I was able to figure it out. It only took three times, I had a slight headache when I was done, I had a washer left over- not sure if it was a spring or winter washer- but my son finally had his scooter.   

Pictures of the final products & the kids enjoying them:

Love his curled tongue

They found mud, and the scooters were now 4X drive scooters. Their first ride gets thumbs up 

Categories
Cancer Cooking Health Parenting

Maple Syrup- The New Anti-Cancer Food

I never gave much thought before having kids to maple syrup.  Once I started paying more attention to ingredients in food, I found out that most “maple syrup” from the grocery store isn’t really maple syrup at all, and contains artificial ingredients.  I used to use Mrs. Butterworth syrup.  It containsHigh fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, water, salt, cellulose gum, molasses, potassium sorbate (preservative), sodium hexametaphosphate, citric acid, caramel color, natural and artificial flavors.

I have grown increasingly concerned about the effects of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in my family’s diet.  It is in almost everything.  Manufacturers like to say HFCS is a “natural sugar,” but the body processes HFCS totally different than sugar.   A new study from Princeton on HFCS released a few days ago, found “Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.  In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides. The researchers say the work sheds light on the factors contributing to obesity trends in the United States.

My kids like waffles and pancakes and I make them from scratch as a special treat, once a week.  As a mother and a cook, it didn’t seem right to take the time to make these and then pour a mix of artificial and potentially harmful ingredients over them.  A few years ago, I decided I was going to make the switch from the fake syrup to real, 100%-from the tree, maple syrup.  It cost a few more dollars, but I loved knowing we weren’t eating yet another thing with HFCS, and it tasted so much better too.  If you have never tried real maple syrup, do so when you can.  I have noticed I can use about half as much of it, compared to the commercial brands, because it is so rich and flavorful. 

The fact there is no HFCS in real maple syrup was reason enough for me to switch.  Now it turns out that researchers from the University of Rhode Island have discovered 13 new compounds in maple syrup they say are anti-oxidant rich, and contain anti-cancer, anti-bacterial and anti-diabetic properties.  The summary of the study is a short read, and is very interesting.   

The lead researcher, Dr. Navindra Seeram, is quoted as saying, “At this point, we are saying, if you choose to put syrup on your pancakes, it may be healthier to use real maple syrup.”  He also points out that real maple syrup costs more than syrups that use maple flavoring or have little or no maple syrup.  He adds, “But you pay for what you get and you get what you pay for, meaning there are consequences for what you eat.”

Sometimes making drastic changes to our lifestyle and diet are hard, and can be overwhelming.  It may be impossible to eliminate every thing that has HFCS in it, but when you can make a change to buy something, like pure maple syrup, it is a step in the right direction.  Not only are you not eating a mixture of processed ingredients, and as this study shows, pure maple syrup may also end up helping your health- not harming it.

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Giveaways/Contests Parenting

My Passions- Mabel’s Labels Contest Entry

Last summer my good friend, Amy of Crunchy Domestic Goddess, entered us into a contest sponsered by Mabel’s Labels for a trip to BlogHer 2010.  Amy’s video made it to the top ten, and we were finalists!  The other night Amy sent me a link to a new contest the wondeful people at Mabel’s Labels is having for another trip to BlogHer 2010, and a blogging position with them.  Mabel’s Labels has asked,

“Write a post on your blog in response to the following hypothetical situation: Electrical storms are going to wipe out the Internet (perhaps forever). You have one day left to write about your passions: what do you want to say to the blogosphere in 300 words or less?”  Here is my entry:

I have written about my passions often over the years; the joys and frustrations associated with them.  I took for granted that I would always be healthy enough to pursue them.  I am also learning the hardest lesson of all- our loved ones won’t always be alive to help and support us with our passions.

Sometimes it is overwhelming like a ocean being ripped apart in a storm.  During these times my passions become the lighthouse in the distance.  The waves crash and break, but there is always a flicker of light showing me these struggles are temporary.   Writing my blog helps me navigate through these times, like during the last year when I discovered I had cancer, and my marriage ended.   When my cancer treatments were over, I found myself at the starting line of my new passion- running. 

Two weeks ago, another storm came crashing in, when my mother died.  I have no idea how to find the flicker of light through this storm. I wish if I could pursue my passions hard enough- write that brilliant piece, or run fast enough-it would bring my mom back. Life gives us beautiful highlights and agonizing heartbreaks.  It is easy to get weighed down in the sorrow and pain. 

But my greatest passion and love reminds me life goes on. The smiles and laughter are the brilliant lights, illuminating against the dark and angry waves.   This life-long passion is parenting.  It is the beacon in the storm, and the calming force. It is hope, and it is my future. 

Categories
Parenting Ryan

The Case of the Missing Tooth

Ryan’s first tooth has been loose for a few weeks, and he has been very adamant about letting it fall out on its own.  I have checked it every night since I’ve been back in town.  Last night it felt like I could have pulled it out, but he didn’t want me to.   

Ryan brushes his teeth on his own, and then when he’s done I do a follow-up.  I am usually in the bathroom with him when he starts, but tonight I was helping Cole in the other room.  When I got into the bathroom, Ryan was finishing his teeth and I took his toothbrush, like I always do.  He stopped me so he could spit out the toothpaste he had in his mouth.  As soon as I started brushing, I saw the blood and stopped.  I told him his tooth had fallen out!

Cole immediately started to cry- he seems to have a thing about teeth and the Tooth Fairy, but that’s another story.  I asked Ryan if the tooth was in his mouth.  He put his hand in his mouth and then saw the blood on his hand and started to cry too.  I have been telling him for weeks when he loses his tooth, it will bleed for a little bit.  Evidently, that prepping didn’t help.  I gave him a washcloth, and tried to calm him down.  I asked him if the tooth was in his mouth, and he said no.  He was scared we couldn’t find his tooth.

I felt so sorry for him.  He said a first grader had told him just today that his sister swallowed her tooth and she died.  So I reassured him no less than twenty times, that swallowing a tooth will not cause you to die.  It finally dawned on me that he probably had spit it out with his toothpaste, right before I started brushing his teeth, because he never swallows toothpaste. 

If I were handy with a wrench, I would try to take the sink apart to see if I could find it.  It is his first baby tooth after all.  But considering I’ve never done that before, this probably isn’t the best time to try to figure out a project like that.  

So we will not have his first baby tooth to give to the Tooth Fairy tonight.  Ryan arranged his pillows special, so she won’t have any trouble leaving him some money.  On a side note, I have been trying to decide what the going rate is for the Tooth Fairy is these days.  Ryan seems happy when he gets a quarter, but also knows paper money is worth more, so I think he will be very happy with $2 for his first tooth.  I plan to tell him subsequent teeth only bring in $1. 

Here is Ryan with his brand new smile: