Category: Mothering

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Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

Small Miracles and other Triumphs

Everything in the universe must be aligned right today, because in addition to Maelin finally starting to nurse, I had two other triumphs today.

The first one was after dinner, I was cleaning up, and Joe was on the computer trying to do some car research (no, we still haven’t bought a replacement car yet), and Cole kept crawling in the kitchen, tugging on my leg.  I just wanted to clean up quickly, so I carried Cole into the living room, and asked Ryan to play nicely with Cole.  I went back to the kitchen, and after a few minutes, I realized I hadn’t heard any crying, screaming, whining, or, “Mommy, Cole is bugging me-make him STOP!”

I popped my head around the corner, and Ryan and Cole were at their play kitchen, with Ryan showing Cole how the oven door opened, the sink worked, and giving him play pots and pans to hold.  Cole was delighted his brother was playing with him!   I about fainted.  I called Joe over, and we both stood there in awe for a few moments watching our two little boys, actually being brothers, and enjoying each other. 

I would have gladly settled for just that one, but I guess the “God of Small Miracles” was smiling on me today!  After having 10 1/2 months of sleep issues with Cole, I was nursing him to sleep tonight, like I always do, and after about five minutes, he started squirming and trying to roll over like he does when he is in his crib.  Normally, when I place him in his crib, he squirms, and usually fusses for a while, and I have to pat him on the back, and hold his hand until he finally falls asleep.  So with him squirming in my arms, I wondered what would happen if I put him in his crib?  I had to find out!

I set him down in the crib, still awake, he rolled over, and WENT TO SLEEP!  No crying, fussing, or screaming, or having me pat him to sleep.  I am not so naive to think this will be the norm now, but I’ll take it when I can. 

These small triumphs are like little gifts- after months and months, of doing the same thing over and over and over, and saying the same things, over and over, and over, it is like something has clicked and makes me realize my boys are responding to what I tell them and what I do for them.  It is like a paycheck- a paycheck in mothering, that all your efforts are starting to pay off.  I see a glimpse of the future in these moments, and it helps me to gear up for another day, which no doubt will have plenty of crying, screaming, whining, and, “Mommy, Cole is bugging me-make him STOP,” but until then, I’ll savor these small miracles.

Categories
Cole Family & Friends Mothering Parenting Ryan

Mama Said There Would Be Days Like This

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off today!

I am trying to finish a shower present for my sister this week, for her baby shower on Saturday.  Ryan has come down with the same cold, Cole had and thankfully, he doesn’t have it as bad, but his nose is running constantly, and I am constantly wiping his nose.

I thought I could make some progress on my project, this morning, when Ryan tells me that baby Cole spilled his cereal on the floor.  After cleaning that up, I go back to my project, and a few minutes later Ryan says that he went pee in his potty (good thing), BUT baby Cole was playing in it, (bad thing).

After cleaning up and changing Cole, a friend called me who had a situation they needed to talk about, so I spent an hour on the phone with her. 

A few minutes after I hang up, Ryan tells me baby Cole spilled his (Ryan’s)  apple juice.  More cleaning.  After that was done, I finally thought I could start working on my project.  It was not to be.  As soon as I sat down to start, Ryan says he went pee on the potty again (good thing), BUT he had a little accident, and his pee sprayed all over the living room, (bad thing), and boy did it ever!

I think I went through every towel and rag we had this morning cleaning up snot, pee, juice, and milk.  Needless to say, my project is still sitting here, and I don’t have enough time to start on it now before dinner, so maybe I’ll get lucky and have some time tonight, when the boys are sleeping.  🙂

Categories
Cole Family & Friends Mothering Ryan

Spending The Night

Ryan did it!  He spent the night at his grandparent’s house, last night. 

Joe and I got to go on our Valentine’s Day (belated) date, with Cole.  He was still pretty fussy and clingy, and we didn’t want to leave him with Joe’s parents, only to have him cry the entire time we were gone.  We had a nice dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, and Cole did great.  He sat in a booster seat next to me and didn’t cry the entire time.  He ate some cereal, baby food, and chewed on the bread. 

Meanwhile, Ryan was having a ball with his 6 year old cousin, K, and his aunt, who had come up for the weekend. We got back to the house around 8 pm, and Ryan came running out to ask us, “Did you bring my jamies?”

His cousin was in her nightgown, and of course Ryan, had to be in his PJ’s too.  So Joe got him ready for bed, and then it hit him that we were leaving.  He looked a little nervous, but I could tell he was trying to be brave.  Ryan was sleeping in a bedroom on an inflatable mattress, with K, sleeping on the bed.

Joe and I decided to stick around for a while to make sure Ryan would be okay.  A few minutes after K, and Ryan went down, K got up to talk to her mom.  They went back into the room a few minutes later, and then K’s mom told me Ryan wanted me- he was crying.

I went to him, and his little pillow was wet from his tears, and he was curled up in a little ball on his mattress.  I felt bad for him, and just hugged him and sat with him for a while.  We think he got scared when K got out of bed, and left him in the room by himself. 

After a while, Cole was crying for me, so I left Ryan, and Joe went back to sit with Ryan for a while.  Well, he was so wound up at that point, we almost decided to take him home with us, but Grandma came to the rescue.  She got ready for bed and went to sleep in the room with Ryan, and K.  She said they talked for a while and he finally fell asleep around 10:30.

It was weird walking past Ryan’s room last night, and seeing the door wide open, and him not in his bed.  I missed him and realized he is slowly but surely gaining more independence away from us, which is a good thing, but it still pulls on my heartstrings. 

We ran some errands this morning and then went back out there at lunch.  As soon as Ryan saw us, he said, “I need to stay here ALL day!”  He wouldn’t let Joe or myself even hug him- that is how much fun he was having.

Far from us to ruin a three-year old’s fun, so after lunch we went home, while Ryan took his nap.  Then K.’s big brother and sister, and their dad came over, and when he woke up, I was told that Ryan was finally asking for me, and was almost in tears, I wasn’t there.  His older cousins soon had him occupied and we came back out for dinner.

I thought we would have a major tantrum on our hands when it was finally time to go home, but Joe talked to Ryan, and I think he was SO tired from trying to keep up with the older kids, that he just went and got his shoes, and brought me my shoes when it was time to go.  No yelling, tears, or stalling.  WOW!  I wished the cousins lived closer. 🙂

As I climbed in the car to go home, Ryan reached out for my hand, and kissed it.  He said, “I missed you, Mom.”  I guess my little boy, isn’t quite so big yet that he didn’t miss me at all, and for right now, I can’t help but be happy about that.

Categories
Cole Health Mothering Parenting

Sleep Baby, Sleep

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I have had what has probably been the worst few days, since having children. 

It started on Sunday morning, when Cole woke up wheezing.  It progressed into an upper respitory viral infection, and the poor little guy could not breathe, or sleep.  It has been absolutely miserable. 

I took Cole to the doctor on Monday, to make sure all the congestion wasn’t settling in his lungs, or that he didn’t have something more serious.  The doctor said his lungs were completely clear, but he had the viral infection.  He suggested the standard stuff- humidifier, liquids, etc.  Since Cole was having a hard time sleeping, he told me it was okay to give him some Children’s Benadryl to help him sleep and to thin some of the mucus out.

I wish it had been that simple- yesterday afternoon, I was at my witts end.  Cole fell asleep on Tuesday night around 8; slept for about 4 hours, and then woke up, and was up until yesterday afternoon around 3.  Since Sunday, he had gotten a total of about 10 hours of sleep, and since I had not been able to fall asleep when he did on Tuesday night, I had been going for about 32 hours with NO sleep.  

That is how miserable he was.  Every time he tried to go to sleep, he started to cough, or choke, throw up, or just couldn’t breathe.  I tried everything and I mean everything, with no success.  Ryan had never gone that long without sleeping, so I felt completely helpless and that is the worse- when your baby is so miserable, and you can’t do anything to help him. 

I got some good suggestions from my friends, so I was ready to try some new things, when Cole passed out from what I am sure was just pure exhaustion around 3.  He and I both slept for two hours, (Joe’s mom was a lifesaver, and had come by earlier for Ryan).

After Joe got home from work, I ran out to Walgreens to get some Little Noses Decongestant Nose Drops, that my friend suggested to help with the congestion, and some Children’s Benadryl.  I gave those to him before bed, and he slept for about 3 hours, and then woke up crying, screaming, and inconsolable. 

At that point, I looked at the Benadryl bottle again, and realized I hadn’t been giving him the recommended amount for his age and weight. I gave him the correct dose, and then I sat with him crying, because I didn’t know what else I could do for him.

Joe took him, and laid down with him on the couch.  Joe held him on his chest, and held him for almost an hour while Cole cried, and cried, and cried.  He finally went to sleep a little after midnight, and slept until 7 this morning, only waking up to nurse for a few minutes.

He seems like he is over the worst of it, and took a good 4 hour nap this afternoon, and is now sleeping soundly again, with the help of Little Noses, and Benadryl. 

I hope the rest of us don’t catch this nasty cold.  We have been taking Airborne and Emergen-C, so hopefully we can fight it off.  I have never seen a baby fight sleep so hard.  We were joking that he was like an elephant, and we needed a tranquilizer gun to take him down (and I mean that in a loving way).  I just wanted him to sleep, because he can’t start to heal until he gets some rest. 

I am a little worried that he won’t stay asleep tonight, but am hoping for the best.  I am going to drink some tea, and get to bed so I can get a little rest too, in case he wakes up. 

P.S. The picture at the top is Cole when he was 1 day old. 

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Update- 2/16/07 at 11:30 am

Cole slept 10 hours straight last night!  Woo Hoo!  He just woke up from an hour nap, (no Benadryl needed), and I am sure he’ll go down for an afternoon nap.  It is wild to think he got almost the same amount of sleep in one night than he got in 3 days.  At any rate, I am glad the worst seems to be over.  Now we’ll see if he holds up so Joe and I can go on our Valentine’s date tonight.  🙂

Categories
Cole Mothering Parenting Ryan

The Workings of a Three-Year Old’s Mind

We have been working with Ryan for about two months now on being gentle with his baby brother, Cole.  Ryan gets upset a lot of the times when Cole crawls near him, plays with his toys, or is just in the same room with him.  Ryan usually resorts to hitting, kicking, pushing, or yelling at Cole.  We have told him numerous times that he can’t treat Cole like this, and he should call for Mom or Dad when he is getting mad at Cole, and we’ll help.  We have tried using time-out when he does hurt Cole, but it hasn’t been getting through.

I remembered something today from when I used to watch Dr. Phil, and he said that every child has their price and or bargaining tool, and you just have to find it.  Well, Ryan’s aunt got him a ukulele (but he calls it his guitar) for his birthday, and this is Ryan’s favorite toy by far, currently.  I told Ryan this morning that if he hurt Cole, I would take his guitar away. 

He did really well today- no problems.  Cole is really sick too, with a terrible viral infection, has only slept about 10 hours total since Sunday, and is in a very bad mood.  When it was nap time today, I told Ryan he was a very good boy for being so nice to Cole and he said, “I get to keep my guitar.”  How is that for motivation?  More on this in a moment

Lately Ryan wants to come sleep in my bed with Cole for his nap.  I usually don’t mind, but after a visit to the doctor today, he said it was okay to give Cole some Children’s Benadryl so he could sleep, and Cole finally conked out, and I didn’t want Ryan to wake him up, so I told him he needed to stay in his own bed and go to sleep.  I left his room, and went to clean up the kitchen from lunch, and went back to check on Ryan.  He was out of his bed, standing on the glider chair, trying to turn a lamp on, that’s on his dresser.  I asked him what he was doing.

He turned around, and looked like he couldn’t quite believe I knew he was out of bed.  He said he needed to stay on the chair all day.  I helped him back to bed and told him, “Mama always knows what you are doing.  You can’t fool Mama.”  Without missing a beat he says, “I can fool Daddy.”  I tried not to laugh and told him, “No, you can’t fool Daddy or Mama.  We always know what you are doing.” I am not sure if he bought that or not.  🙂

Back to the guitar- after dinner, I was cleaning up and I heard thunk, and Cole screaming. I knew immediately that Ryan had probably pushed him, and Cole had hit his head on the wood floor.  I went in the living room, and sure enough, Cole was on his back, crying his eyes out, and Ryan was standing there with the guilty look.  I asked Ryan if he had pushed Cole, and he said yes.

I picked up Cole, and calmly told Ryan I was going to take his guitar away now, because he had hurt Baby Cole. The tears and crying started right away, as I put the guitar on the closet shelf.  I explained to him again why he was losing his guitar, and told him he could have it back tomorrow, if he didn’t hurt Baby Cole anymore.  He kept saying, “I’ll be a good boy.”  It was really hard not to give in to him, but I didn’t.  He kept crying and Dad took him upstairs for a talk, which went like this:

Dad: Why are you crying?

Ryan: Mom put my guitar on the shelf.

Dad: Why did she do that?

Ryan: Baby Cole started to cry.

Dad: Why did Baby Cole start to cry?

Ryan: He fell on his head.

Dad: How did he fall on his head?

Ryan puts hands on Dad’s shoulders and says,

Mom put my guitar on the shelf, because Baby Cole was crying.

Dad: What did you do to make Baby Cole cry?

Ryan: I pushed him.

Finally!  As I was kissing Ryan good night, he hugged me and told me in the morning, he gets his guitar back.  So we’ll see how this works.  I am hoping once is enough, but I won’t count on it. 🙂