Category: Breastfeeding

• Kristen posted an update to the Mothering.com chat room, where she initially posted her story.  Here is her update:

Hmmm…where to start. Well, I was in the Rocky Mountain National Park all day at the top of the rockies (I am NOT letting this ruin my vacation) and am now finally at my computer at the hotel. I did some thinking and decided on my current course of action…mostly. I will still try to reach the park manager by phone, to let him know that I
will be filing a formal written complaint with the park and would like a response in kind so there is no confusion. I will be requesting a formal apology as well as notice of their intent to change/create policy regarding BF in their park as well as educate all employees present and future in how to handle complaints regarding BF moms NIP in their park in a positive fashion. I would like a preliminary idea what the response will be. I may have to climb the ladder here as
Elitch Gardens is owned by PARC Management, LLC in Jacksonville, FL. I have to find out who is ultimately responsible for policy in the park.
I will also be filing a formal written complain with the Denver PD requesting a formal apology and similiar education of their employees who I felt should have defended my actions at Elitch Gardens instead of further harassing me. If my efforts at resolution through these channels are not effective, I will investigate as to how to take further legal or other action.

As for a nurse-in, it seems like some people are a bit hot headed at this point and may just make people think what I was doing was just to be rebellious or purposely offend people when I was just trying to have fun at the park and feed my son. I had no idea this would happen and actually fully expected the Denver Police to defend me! I knew my
rights and it scared me when they didn’t. so, I am not really sure what I think of the nurse-in. If the people who show up calmly and quietly nurse and nicely explain to people who ask that it is being done to support me, then maybe it would be ok. If the police asked you to leave though, it would get uglier and that would be bad. It seems a bit unorganized and hastly to me though. If there isn’t a good showing, then the law is more likely to be harsh I would think and it would be easier for Elitch Gardens to deny again that they asked people to leave or called the Denver PD on them.

As for the media goes, I will try to find a non-biased media outlet that reaches more people than this forum in which to tell my true story and inform people in general about the rights we have to NIP.

Since my post from last night is gone, and I did not copy it, it would be nice of MDC to put my post back in the thread if they possibly can. I am not sure how your systems work. I don’t know why it was removed to begin with. Maybe shame on some people for abusing the priviledge?
the gist of it was that anger will not make the changes needed to protect our freedoms, but logical, loving action directed properly will.

I did an interview with Fox, and tried to make my point, but they twisted my story as I naively thought they would not. Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent to reporter John Romero of Fox News earlier this evening:

To John:

I just wanted to let you know that I saw the newscast of the story regarding me feeding my son in public at Elitch Gardens. I am fairlyannoyed by the spin you put on my story and just wanted to clarify a couple points that seemed muddled in the story. I did not feed my baby in public at Elitch Gardens because he was “crying and screaming and very hungry”. I fed him simply because he was hungry. I feed him on demand almost anywhere he is hungry no matter where I am, either in public or in private. He was “crying and screaming and very hungry” because I was not able to focus my attention on him latching on and
feeding correctly as I was dealing with harassment from security and because I was upset, which in turn upset him. Also, I did not need to supervise my children in the wave pool, but simply wanted to watch them have fun. I sat by the pool because it was comfortable and pleasant.

I do appreciate you citing Colorado law to show that I knew my rights. However, it seems you candy-coated the situation a bit and made it seem like it was a desperate situation in which I HAD to feed my son in the manner I did, and made excuses for me when I didn’t need any.  The law was on my side, and law enforcement should have been as well.
Thank you for listening and your time.

Kristin Skrydlak-Simlai

I wonder if he will bother to reply. I definitely learned a lesson here, but I don’t watch the news and now I remember why. My bad…sorry if I hurt the cause.

Well, I am heading home to Spearfish tomorrow as I have many things to take care of, but I will follow my plan of action that I laid out at the beginning of this post, unless my logic takes me elsewhere. I’ve seen some pretty enlightening posts and appreciate them very much; I believe some of the information will be very useful in deciding upon the best course of action to create positive outcomes.

I have been getting many, many emails, and tried to read them all tonight, but do not have time to answer them all, so here is a thanks to all for your support. And to all the people who emailed me that they were offended by my actions, I am sorry that is the case. Many things offend me, and I may or may not complain (mostly not as I try my best to allow everyone their freedoms), but in the end I realize that it is my personal opinion of how the world should be; my conviction. If yours is otherwise, than do what you have to to make the world as you feel it should be….but not in anger.

I think that’s it for now. I hope to be back online tomorrow sometime. I’m going to go snuggle my little one’s now…ahhh and then enjoy our trip home together while we recount the wonderful things we did do and see. I nursed at the top of the mountain by the way. It was SUBLIME! He really seemed to enjoy it as did I.

Love to all the wonderful mommas out there, NIP or not.

Kristin Skrydlak-Simlai

There was a nurse in staged at the park, and here is a story on it, from a local news station:

DENVER – A group of mothers say it is their legal right to breastfeed their children in public.

 

On Saturday, a dozen moms had a “nurse-in” in front of Elitch Gardens to make their point.

They say they wanted to support a woman who claims a security officer at Elitch Gardens told her to cover up or leave the park. A spokesperson for Elitch Gardens says the woman was never asked to leave.

Tammy Lantz is with the Colorado Breastfeeding Task Force.

“Any woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere she has the legal right to be,” Lantz said. “We just want to make sure that women know they have the right to breastfeed; that they shouldn’t be asked to leave anywhere or cover up.”

Lantz says she has heard a lot of comments about nursing.

“They have said things like ‘just cover up’ and ‘breast feeding is a bodily function just like urinating is and you don’t see people urinating out in public.’ Well, there are public restrooms every single place that you go so if there was a public nursing place every single place that we went then we would nurse our babies there,” Lantz said. “We just feed our babies. It’s not meant to be anything sexual. It’s meant to just feed your child.”

The “nurse-in” was organized in support of a Mom who says she nearly kicked out of Elitch Gardens for breastfeeding her son.

Kirstin Skyrdlak-Simlai says she was on the edge of the wave pool breastfeeding when she says she was approached by a park security guard.

On the Web site mothering.com she writes, “He told me that complaints had been made and that I would have to breastfeed elsewhere or cover up.”

Lori Kaupp is the Operations Director at Elitch Gardens. She says Skyrdlak-Simlai was never asked to leave the park. She says in compliance with Colorado law, breastfeeding is allowed.

“The issue wasn’t that she was breast feeding, it was that she was exposed while doing so, making a lot of guests uncomfortable and they brought it to our attention so we did ask her to cover up,” Kaupp said.

Kaupp says there are a lot of guests who may feel uncomfortable with seeing a woman breastfeed and they want to be sensitive to those people.

“We do ask mothers to be considerate for all our guests so that we can provide a comfortable environment for all of our guests,” Kaupp said. She said Skyrdlak-Simlai was exposing most of her breast.

Kenny Gilfilen and his 7-year-old son Matthew just happened upon the nurse-in at Elitch Gardens. He says his wife breastfed his son and he supports the effort wholeheartedly. However, he understands the call for discretion.

“Maybe the people around her would feel more comfortable around her if she were discreet,” Gilfilen said.

Most of the eleven moms at the nurse-in said it is not always practical to cover up the baby with a blanket.

“If it’s hot outside like it is today, I can’t imagine putting a blanket over him. I mean would you want a blanket over your head while you were trying to eat?” Lantz said.

“I don’t think I am being inconsiderate. I don’t think most nursing moms want to flash themselves to the public, but if a baby is hungry you feed them and that is what the law supports,” Cathy Keller said. “You see breasts in beer ads all the time and it’s no big deal and yet when you actually use them for what they are made for, people get up in arms.”

Next Sunday, 1,200 women are expected to come together for the National Mile High Breastfeeding Celebration. The celebration is from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Auraria Campus in Denver. The women will try and set the breastfeeding record at 11:15 a.m. The National Mile High Breastfeeding Celebration is sponsored by the Colorado Breastfeeding Task Force and La Leche League International.

• Finally, a comment that I received on the original post, from Mara, and also a great thought from Tammy Lantz with the Colorado Breastfeeding Taskforce, (who was quoted in the above story) when she said,

“They have said things like ‘just cover up’ and ‘breast feeding is a bodily function just like urinating is and you don’t see people urinating out in public.’ Well, there are public restrooms every single place that you go so if there was a public nursing place every single place that we went then we would nurse our babies there,” Lantz said. “We just feed our babies. It’s not meant to be anything sexual. It’s meant to just feed your child.” (bold print mine)

We have public restrooms, so why not places where we can nurse our babies ‘discreetly?’  If businesses are so concerned about respecting other guests, then why not respect nursing mothers and make a place for them, where they can actually nurse?

This would be a great step for Elitchs to implement, and maybe other businesses would follow their lead. 

About the only place I can think of, off the top of my head right now in my area, that has a clean and comfortable nursing lounge is Nordstrom in a mall, about half an hour away from me.  It is wonderful to use when I go there, it is in the bathroom, but it is before you get to the stalls, and it is off to the side, away from traffic.  The only way to get to it, is to turn left, after you walk in the bathroom.  If you keep walking straight, then you get to the stalls, so for someone to actually see you nursing, they would have to turn, and go around a wall. 

The lounge has couches, chairs, pillows, and soft lights.  There is also a nook for a double changing station, with SOFT changing tables (not those hard plastic ones), and a sink, so you can nurse and change your baby, all in the same general area.

So KUDOS and HATS OFF to Nordstrom for having the foresight and wisdom to install this lounge for breastfeeding mothers.  I hope other Nordstrom have them as well, and would love to hear from people if they do, or if there are other ‘breastfeeding friendly’ places out there.  I’ll compile them and post them in a future post.

We should support these businesses who do try to accomodate nursing mothers, and let them know we appreciate their efforts. The next time I am in Nordstroms, I am going to ask for the manager, and thank her / him for having that nursing lounge. 

 Perhaps by focusing on the positive, relaying our positive experiences, and thanking those who are supportive about breastfeeding in public, we can also start to change the stigma attached to nursing in public, and get more support from others in the future.

Happy Nursing!!

 

This week, a nursing mother said was harassed and was asked repeatedly to cover herself up, while nursing her 5 month old son, while on vacation at Elitch Gardens, in Denver.

Here is Kristin’s  account of the incident as she posted it on parenting Web site www.mothering.com:

Harassed at Elitch Gardens for public breastfeeding

I am on vacation with my family- 5 of us including mom and dad. We went to Elitch Gardens Theme Park in Denver, CO (Formerly Six Flags).  

I was nursing my 5 month old son by the side of the wave pool in the water park. I was in the section with the plastic lounge chairs where food is allowed, not right in the water. I was approached by a park security guard who told me that complaints had been made and that I would have to breastfeed elsewhere or cover up; go to the restrooms and nurse or use a towel.

I stated that by Colorado state law, I am allowed to breastfeed my child anywhere public or private that he is allowed to be. At this point another security guard got involved and was more adamant that I go elsewhere and it is just “common sense” to cover up or be elsewhere. I repeatedly stated colorado breastfeeding law and informed them that I was not going anywhere or covering up (he hates being covered up), could they please stop harassing me and let me feed my child. He stated they would kick me out of the park for this. I stated that I paid for the tickets and was not going anywhere as I was not breaking any posted park rules.

At this point my child was getting more and more upset because I was having a hard time focusing on holding him and helping him latch on properly. This conversation progressed until my son was screaming very loudly at the top of his lungs and I was visibly shaking and upset. I did start to get louder but managed to keep my temper despite my child crying. I did however start crying too and begged them to leave me be. They called a supervisor over to talk to me. At this point my husband had come back from playing with the other children in the wave pool and I asked him to back me up and keep them away from me so I could nurse my child as he was screaming. He proceeded to state them the same law repeatedly.

They then left me alone for a few minutes and returned shortly later with two Denver Police officers. I continued the basic same conversation with them and then let my husband talk to them, but the supervisor continued to harass me thro this entire thing. He kept stating it was “common sense” to do what he wanted me to do and I kept stating Colorado Law and stating that I had no such social taboo ingrained in me about breastfeeding in public and it was his personal opinion that it is common sense.

My husband kept trying to get them to stop talking to me so I could feed my child, and I was finally able to feed my child and he fell asleep. I then pulled my swimsuit back up and rocked him a bit. The Denver Police then informed me that if I breastfed in public in the park again, they would arrest me for trespassing as the park would want to kick me out. I politely told him to do what you have to do but I know my rights. I stayed in the water park section until the baby woke up and then left to try to enjoy the rest of the day away from the frightening guards. (as a note, it was the woman next to me who had complained and she proceeded to berate me for about 10 minutes. I repeatedly told her very calmly and politely “Thank you for your opinion. Have a nice day”, until she stopped talking to me.)

I am ashamed to admit that I did feed my child next in a more secluded part of the park later as I did not want to get arrested and ruin my family’s vacation, although it was still in a public area. It makes me shake and cry when I think of my treatment and how I had to hide just to feed my child. It made me feel like a criminal. I am going to look into suing the park so that others in the future will not be subjected to the same traumatizing ordeal. Maybe the park can setup some positive breastfeeding policy.

I will also be posting to a number of forums such as Mothering.com to inform others of my situation, maybe organize a boycott or nurse-in. Thank you for listening. I would appreciate any feedback you have or any info you have as to legal or other recourse that I may take that would be most effective in changing Elitch Gardens actions against breastfeeding in public.

Kristin Skrydlak-Simlai

 I find this incident terribly ironic- in that where it happened, there are probably no less than hundreds of women of all ages, walking around in swimsuits / bikinis that expose more of the breast than what a mother breastfeeding her baby would show.  Of course, I don’t know how much of her breast was ‘exposed’ but I wonder if the lady who was so offended, asked all the women who were in skimpy swimsuits to cover up as well? 

According the Elitch spokesperson, (from 9News story https://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=72030) she said the “park allows breastfeeding, but they ask breastfeeding mother’s to respect the comfort level of other guests of the park.”

The lady organizing the nurse in, Tirzha Zabarauskas, said in respond to this statement, “I am sure being at a water park there were other women in bikinis who were not asked to cover themselves up or leave the park.”

I have to agree with her on this point- if you have been swimming lately at any public swimming place, the swimsuits really don’t leave much to the imagination- between tops that barely, and I mean, barely cover anything, and thong bottoms, it seems ridiculous that someone would have the audacity to complain that a NURSING MOTHER, FEEDING HER BABY, was offensive.

How many other boobs did this lady see, flopping around in skimpy bathing suits that day?  Did she complain about those?  Did she complain about the butts hanging out of the thong bikini bottoms?  Did the guards and police, stop the people in reveling bathing suits, and tell them to use some “common sense” and cover up?

It is just pure ignorance that in this day and age, with all the benefits of breastfeeding, that a nursing mother gets treated this way, especially when it is in a water park, with hundreds, probably thousands of other women in swimming suits, no doubt exposing some part of their breasts.

Our society doesn’t have a problem with showing breasts when it is in a commercial, walking down the street, at Hooters, or at the beach, pool, or water park- the problem is when a woman chooses to use her breasts for what they were designed for- feeding her baby.  For some reason, we have a huge problem with that, and have to resort to making the mother feel bad, dirty, ashamed, and like she did something wrong.

I hope Elitch Gardens works with this mother to ensure this never happens again to another nursing mother.  There is a nurse-in scheduled at the park tomorrow, but after reading some comments from Jennifer, at The Lactivist blog, she has some good reasons, why nurse-in’s probably aren’t the most effective first steps to take. 

In the meantime, the only thing I think we can all do to make a difference is nurse, nurse, nurse, in public.  The more people see us doing what nature intended for our babies, the more it will become more common place, and hopefully these incidents will stop happening.