Author: A Mama's Blog

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ACS Blogger Advisory Council Cancer Family & Friends Mothering Parenting

Home & Vacation

I am back from New York.  Wow!!  I can see why people either love or hate it.  I loved it!  It was such a different experience for me.  I’ve lived near Boulder, CO almost my entire life.  I’ve been to Los Angeles several times, but New York was by far the biggest city I’ve ever been in. 

People were nice and very helpful.  No one was rude or had an attitude.  I felt very safe walking around Times Square at night- there was only about 50,000 other people around, police all around, and almost every shop and restaurant was open.  There was only negative thing happen, and that was on the way to the airport on the way home.  The taxi I took smelled like gasoline, and I was on the verge of getting really sick by the time I got to the airport.  Other than that, everything went great. 

The tour of the New York Hope Lodge was amazing.  I am going to write a more detailed blog post about that, but I was so touched by what they do for cancer patients.  As I listened and saw what they did, I thought back to my own experience with cancer last year and thought it was great there are facilities like this that help the patients with the most need.  Especially in a place like New York, where it is so expensive to stay long-term.  I was impressed to learn there are 40 other Hope Lodges in the United States.  It was clear to see Hope Lodges are a great asset in helping cancer patients and their caregivers fight cancer. 

I hope to write more about New York soon (with pictures!), but I had a long day at work yesterday, and the boys and I are leaving tomorow for our vacation together.  We are going with my dad and step-mom to Lake Superior in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  My dad has a relative there who lives across the street from the lake.  The boys are beyond excited for a beach/water vacation.  I haven’t been able to go anywhere with them for two years on vacation, so I am looking forward to this time with them. 

As much fun as I had in New York, the boys were never far from my thoughts.  I missed them!  I kept thinking how much they would enjoy the buildings, the firetrucks, the police cars, and all the sights and sounds.  I decided I am going to take them there one day- when they are older- so they can experience New York and all the amazing sights, before they are in their thirties, like me.  🙂  I liked the perspective it gave me, and I want my sons to be able to live and experience other places then where we live. 

As I flew back into Denver, I saw the few tall buildings on Denver’s skyline.  They definitely didn’t look like much after staring at New York’s massive and countless skyscrapers for five days.  They looked tiny by comparison.  But there were mountains, and open spaces.  I could see miles in any direction- something you don’t get to do in New York from the ground.  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and they announced it was 75 degrees.  It was a perfect Colorado day, I was going to see Ryan and Cole, and I knew I was home.

Categories
ACS Blogger Advisory Council Family & Friends losing a parent

New York!

I am writing this post from my hotel room near LaGuardia airport in New York City!  I arrived here this evening, and so far I love it.  I have always imagined myself going to New York, but it has never happened- until now.

Last year when I was recovering from cancer surgery and extremely hypothyroid, the annual BlogHer convention was occurring.  I was supposed to have gone with my good friend, Amy, but obviously cancer changed that.  Amy had found out that BlogHer ’10 was going to be in New York, and she entered us in a contest to win a trip to it.  We were finalists!

I was so touched, and had told my mom about the possibility of Amy and I winning the trip.  She told me I had to go to New York. She had been there several times in recent years for her job. She told me even if we didn’t win the trip, I had to go with Amy to New York this summer- she assured me I would love it.

My mom had asked me a few times to go with her, on her business trips, but I never did. I was too busy, or didn’t want to leave the boys, or it wasn’t a good time for me to go.  There was always a reason not to go.

I decided to boycott BlogHer ’10, after I had already obtained tickets because of their Nestle sponsorship.  But I had also been invited by the American Cancer Society (ACS), by the Blogger Advisory Council I serve on, to come to New York for a tour of their Hope Lodge, a meeting, and an event.  Amy decided to attend BlogHer, so our plans were set.

None of the flights would have given me enough time to arrive and be able to attend the ACS event tomorrow on time, so I came out today- by myself.  I was a little bit anxious about coming here alone, but I’ve been fine.  All the people who have helped me have been wonderful, and Amy is arriving tomorrow. I only have to get myself from this hotel to a hotel in Times Square, but I can handle that.  😉  The man I sat next to on the plane even gave me an app for the iPhone that shows all the subway routes, so I am feeling more confident about the subways too.

But all I could think about today was my mom.  I thought about how much I miss her and how much I regret never taking the time to come to New York with her.  As the plane was approaching New York, I touched my mom’s bracelet and I felt her presence- just a normal feeling- like she was sitting next to me.  the sun was setting and it was a gorgeous scene When we landed I got tears in my eyes.

My mom wanted me to come here.  She told me I should do whatever I could to get out here this summer.  My mom loved to travel, loved New York, and clearly she wanted me to experience this.  I got tears in my eyes because I get to do just that.

When I walked off the plane, I was calm-not nervous.  I was traveling alone to a huge city, but I didn’t feel alone.  I felt my mom’s presence with me, and I think- in that place where the sun shines off the clouds at sunset, painting vibrant colors- my mom is with me in New York.

Categories
Cancer Health Running

Second Place- A Year After Cancer

On July 22, I ran in my first competitive division race in Boulder. It was a 3K race sprint which was 1.87 miles.  It was definitely a different experience from what I am used to.  To start off, the race said it started at six, but there was a kid’s race, and then a downpour of rain with wind and lightning that delayed the race for about 20 minutes.  Then there was the non-competitive division race.  It was almost seven when it was time for my wave to run.

I actually lined up in the non-competitive division for a few minutes, before I realized that wasn’t my wave this time.  It was weird when the announcer said if you are an elite runner, make sure you aren’t lined up in that wave.  I don’t think of myself as an elite runner, and I had kind of a mental moment, where I was wondering if I should really be running in a competitive division.  I’ll admit for a few seconds, I thought about just running in the non-competitive division.  

But I told myself I had trained for this, and I was going to do it.  Walking out of the non-competitive wave, and waiting some more for the competitive female division was hard.  I trusted all of this on the work I had done.  The waiting around was difficult.  It allowed me too much time to keep thinking and second guessing myself.  Since the race was on a weekday in the early evening, no one I knew could make it to the race.  I’m pretty independent, but it was hard to wait around for that long by myself.  

I went and warmed up and tried to get myself into a better mental frame of mind.  When it was finally  time to line up, I felt good.  I felt like I belonged right where I was.  The only thing that was worrying me was the weather.  The sun had come out after the rain, but it was incredibly humid.  We don’t have much humidity in Colorado, and I have never trained in it.  I wasn’t sure if it would affect my running.

As the race started, I started off strong.  It was neat seeing so many people lined up in the streets watching.  They were cheering everyone on, and were shouting encouraging words at us.  I was able to run a good half mile in the six minute range, and then the humidity hit me.  I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t take in deep breaths.  I had to slow down, so I could breathe. 

There was a pretty steep hill we had to run up twice- the course was two loops.  After I ran up the hill the first time, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt so tired.  I wasn’t getting the oxygen I needed to run.  I felt like I was running in a steam room.  I slowed down a bit more, but it wasn’t helping.  I felt so frustrated, but knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish if I couldn’t breathe.  So I did something I have never done in a race before.  I stopped running and walked a few paces, breathing as deep as I could.  I probably didn’t walk more than five seconds, but it felt like an eternity.  A few people passed me, and I hated that.  But I decided even if I finished in last place,  I was going to finish. 

I started running again and right before I reached the half-way mark, there was a woman on the street clapping.  She looked right at me and told me I was doing great, and to keep going.  I waved at her, and for some reason, that really gave me a lift.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to have my best time, or even place (which I was shooting for, but not expecting), so all I could do is run and finish.  I told myself running up the hill again, even if I was last, this was a competitive division and I had come so far in not even a year, to even be running in this race.

I started running downhill faster, and could see the finish line ahead. I could hear footsteps behind me, and I was determined to not let anyone else pass me.  The humidity was still a factor, and I was still struggling with the deeper breaths.  People were cheering and clapping and I just gave it my all as I saw the finish line get closer and closer.  When I finally crossed, the clock said 14:40.  I stopped my Garmin and it also said 14:40. 

I was surprised at the time.  It was a personal record for me running the distance outside.  I had run it faster in the air conditioned gym, with no hills on the treadmill, a few weeks before.  But this was 30 seconds faster than I had ever ran it outside.  There weren’t that many people behind me, and I knew I had finished towards the last quarter or so of people.  Even with having to walk, I has still achieved a personal best. 

I found some water dumped it over my head.  I was so hot and tired.  I was still trying to catch my breath.  Some of the other ladies I had run with were also talking about the humidity.  It seemed like it was a factor for a lot of people.   

I cooled down and then watched the men’s elite division run.  They were lightning fast. The announcer said there were a few Olympic runners running in this race and you could tell.  The first man hit the half way point just over 4 minutes!  It was fun watching them all finish, and the winning time was just under 9 minutes! 

I have a lot of respect for how hard everyone worked to finish this race- not just the competitive runners, but everyone.  It definitely is a hard distance when you are trying to run fast.  It tests you.  Under two miles doesn’t sound very far, but when you are running as fast as you can, and pushing yourself, your body hurts, your lungs hurt, and you have to dig down to keep strong. I have never wanted to quit a race, but I wanted to quit this one.  I remember telling myself after this race I was done running- this sucked!  I had to fight myself mentally to stay in it. 

When it was time leave, I walked by the announcer’s booth and he said the race results would be on-line the next day.  But I saw a few people with race result papers.  I walked over and asked if I could see the results.  The guy said they were the competitive results, and told him that was what I ran in.  He gave me the paper, and as I found my age group and my name, I was shocked.  It said I had finished in second place for my age group.  I looked at it again, and asked him if these were official results.  He said they were.  The 14:40 was the official time, and I placed second!

I still can’t really describe how I felt.  It seemed unreal- from where I was physically and health-wise a year ago- I was a cancer patient, to placing second in my first competitive division race, and getting personal best time too.  In Boulder of all places- a town known for its die-hard and excellent runners.

I went to a party afterwards my friend was having and she snapped this picture of me with my race number. I had good feeling when I saw the number.  🙂

I was on cloud nine for a few days afterwards.  I thought a lot about cancer, recovery, running, and all the support my family and friends have given me during this past year.  I thank all of you for that. 

And to all the cancer patients and survivors who read my blog, in that last quarter mile when I wanted to quit, I thought about all the e-mails I have received from you all.  I thought about how hard every cancer patient has to fight and how it changes our lives.  I thought about how inspired I am by your stories and how hard some of you have to fight.  One thing cancer patients know how to do is fight, and not quit.  I thought about how I would feel if I had to write on my blog I quit the race.  That provided me that extra motivation to keep running until I crossed that finish line. 

Running and cancer have taught me over the last year, when I am at my limit and feel like I can’t go another step or day, I can.   They have taught me the greatest rewards come from the hardest trials.  If you believe and are true to yourself, you will accomplish what you thought impossible.  And never give up.  Every step you run (or walk), is a step closer to the finish line, and every day you fight through cancer is another day you are closer to beating it, or a cure being found. 

This race was the hardest race I have ever ran in, but also the race where I had the greatest success.  I am very glad I challenged myself by running in it.  It will serve me well for my next running goal, which I am very excited for, and I will be writing about it in an upcoming post. 

Second place.  I still smile when I think about it.

Official Results
  
Time: 14:40
  
Division Place: 2nd 
 
Overall Place: 19th out of 24 finishers
  
Average Pace: 7:49
Categories
Cancer Health Running

Extreme Race Training- Part 2

My dad and I started off for Vail Saturday morning.  We got to the trail head for Gore Lake by late morning.  It was already 90+ degrees.  We were going to try to get about a mile away from the lake, spend the night, hike to the lake on Sunday morning, and then head back.  We both are pretty good hikers, so this didn’t seem overly ambitious.  My dad had hiked this before, and had done just fine.  Except it had been in the fall, when it had been much cooler.

The hike started out right away uphill- there was no shade, and there were a ton of rocks.  I could feel the heat from the rocks radiating back on to the trail- and on to us.  It felt like I was in an oven baking.  I’ve never weighed my backpack, but it is probably about 20-25 pounds.  My dad’s is heavier, and it seemed like after that first climb, we were both already tired.  In hindsight that should have been a clue- it was too hot.  Here is a picture of me with some wildflowers- about a mile into the hike.  It was one of the few places along the trail with shade.   

We kept hiking, and it just seemed to get hotter and hotter.  There was no breeze either.  The sun was so intense, and the air was hot, heavy, and humid.  I commented to my dad, it felt like we were in a jungle.  We had already drank our water, and we stopped so we could filter some more from the river.  We took off our backpacks, and my shirt was soaked.  It was like I had just taken it out of the washer. 

We drank some more water, and my dad said it wasn’t too much farther to a meadow where we could stop for the day.  There were not any other places to stop and camp- it was all pretty steep terrain, so we figured we could go until we got to the meadow.   

We hiked another mile- in the heat and sun, and there was no meadow.  I felt exhausted.  It was hard to think, and it was just so hot.  I told my dad the bike ride the day before had seemed easy compared to how I was feeling on this hike.  My dad said he was getting some cramps in his legs, and he couldn’t quite remember how much further it was to the meadow.  I had my dad drink the rest of the water we had until we could get close to the creek again.  My dad got the map out, and it looked like we were really close to where this meadow was supposed to be.  We had hiked 4 miles.  My dad said the cramps in his legs were going away, and now we had to find some more water, so we kept going.

We came out of the bend we were in, and below us was the creek, and what looked like some places where we could stop.  I told my dad I was done- I didn’t care about the meadow- I just wanted to stop for the day, and he agreed.  We hiked another half mile or so down, and stopped at the creek to get some more water.  I started shivering- even though it was still hot and sunny out.  I had just read about heat exhaustion, and remembered some of the symptoms were chills and muscle cramps.

We couldn’t seem to drink enough water, and we were dehydrated.  My dad decided to go scout around and see if there was any place we could camp- we were in a marshy grassy field- the ground was all swampy.  So I stayed with our gear and drank more water.  I was sitting with my shoes and socks off, my lightweight jacket on, shivering, but also very hot. I was also exhausted.  I was fighting not falling asleep.   It was the weirdest feeling.   Here’s a picture I took of the creek:

My dad returned half an hour later, and said he had found a great camping spot.  It was a quarter mile away, in trees-which meant shade.  It was right near the creek too, so we’d have water.  If could have ran, I would have but I suddenly felt beyond exhausted.  My chills had stopped though, and my dad didn’t have any more cramping.  We made it over to the campsite and it was gorgeous!  It overlooked the creek, and there was a small waterfall. 

We put up the tent, and drank some more water.  I told my dad I couldn’t keep my eyes open any more, and was going to lie down.  He said he was feeling better, and he’d get things organized.  I was asleep it seemed the moment I laid down.  I woke up an hour later, and we ate dinner. I was still exhausted and decided to go to bed.  I think it was around 8PM.  I haven’t gone to bed that early since I was a kid.

I woke up around 2AM, and got out of the tent and looked at the stars.  It was clear, cool, and with the sound of the creek right behind me, it was so pretty, calm, and peaceful.  I was feeling better, but knew we both had some heat exhaustion.   

We woke up early, ate breakfast, and started to pack up.  It was actually cool and it felt so nice after the previous day.  I took this picture of my dad:

We started back- right back into the sun which was already hot.  We didn’t make the same mistake twice though.  We stopped every 15 minutes and drank a little bit of water.  We passed a few hikers who had said it had been 104 in Denver the day before and it had reached 95 in Vail.  The sun is so much more intense at the altitude we were at- it was no wonder we had difficulties.

The last mile of the hike back was killer.  We had finished our water, and we were up too steep to get to the creek.  The first half mile was all up hill.  There was no shade at all, the sun was blazing, and it was all rocks to our side- holding and reflecting the heat back on us.  That last mile seemed like 10.  My shirt was dripping with sweat and the heat was so thick and heavy.  For a few minutes, I really wondered if I could keep going.  It was physically the hardest thing I have ever done, to keep putting my feet in front of each other to keep moving. 

I looked at my Garmin, which said we had about half a mile to go, and then the Garmin died.  I don’t really remember what happened next, except, we finally were off the trail, and made it back to the car!  I don’t think I have ever been so happy a backpacking trip was over.

My dad looked as exhausted as I felt.  We stopped and got some food, water, and some chocolate milk before driving back to Denver.  When we got back, we were both feeling much better, but still drained.  It took me until Tuesday night to really feel better. 

It was kind of nerve wracking how fast the heat exhaustion happened.  My dad and I are both pretty cautious hikers- we don’t take a lot of chances, but we clearly shouldn’t have hiked that far with it being so hot out.  I’m just glad we were near water most of the time and were able to recover quickly.  My dad said it best- the next time it is 90+ degrees in the mountains he’s not going hiking- he’s going to the pool. 

The last few days I have thought about my race, and the workouts I’ve done.  I won’t know until tonight if the heat exhaustion will factor into my running, but I don’t think it will.  If anything, I believe it has given me more confidence and a mental edge.

I was preparing for this race as being very difficult, but after this past week, it doesn’t seem like it will be as challenging.  I’ve trained extremely hard for this race.  I was talking to one of my friends this week about the race and training and he asked me why I push myself so hard.  During the bike ride up the hills, and on that God-awful hot hike, I kept thinking one thing: last year at this time, I was so sick some days I could not get out of bed.  I told my friend it is hard, but it is also a gift. I push myself because I can. 

Tonight I’m pushing myself with running.  Some people have told me I’m crazy (in a good way) for running a sprinting race in July in the heat!   🙂  But it reminds me I can.  When I line up at the start line, when I hit the half way mark, and when I cross the finish line, in my first competitve race, it’s because I can. 

Categories
Health Running

Extreme Race Training- Part I

Last week I had an “extreme” activity/workout week. 

As I wrote previously, I am training for the first competitive division race I’ve run in.  It is a 3K, and it is going to be at 6PM. As in outside.  In July.  When it is extremely hot.  I’ve been getting faster and faster in just running the distance, but have been training inside. 

I didn’t want to exhaust myself too much with hot weather running, but had planned to do one run at 6PM, a week before the race.  Last Wednesday I did, and it was a lot harder than I thought.  I was a minute and a half slower than I have been at the gym.  The weather was hot- it was in the 90’s, windy, and it was draining. 

While I was disappointed with the time, I worked out a better strategy for race day. I normally start out very fast and maintain the pace.  I realized within the first few minutes on Wednesday, this would be very hard to do in the heat.  I slowed down a bit to conserve some energy until I was just under 1.5 miles.  Then I increased my speed, and had a fast finish. 

The weather is going to be such a factor in this race.  Today they are saying upper 80’s, and lower 90’s, with possible rain on race day.  But it could also be in the mid 90’s and sun.  I feel like I haven’t trained as well as I could for the hot weather, and wanted to get some more exposure to the heat.

On Friday I took off for a two hour bike ride at 11:30AM.  Right in the heat of the day.  It was in the upper 90’s.  I made myself ride up hills.  I was really tired at the 12 mile mark, but made myself push on for 3 more miles, so I could have a 30 mile bike ride round trip.  The muscles in my legs were shouting for me to stop.  Sweat was trickling down my head, neck, and arms.  I could see the top of my thighs and shoulders turning red with sunburn.  I only had a quarter of a water bottle left with warm water by this time, but I kept going-up and down three steep hills on the way home.  A moment later, there was no pain, no need to stop.  I had pushed through the pain, the heat and felt great.  

When I got home, I realized I had only done 25 miles- I had rode to a town on the first leg of the trip, but did not ride through it on the way back.  I didn’t hit the 30 mile mark, but I felt the bike ride called for a lot more endurance than I will need on race day.  I managed two hours in the sun, exercising vigorously almost the entire time.  I felt ready and prepared, but tired, as I packed to go on an easy backpacking trip for the weekend. I was looking forward to getting to the mountains and getting out of the heat and the record temperatures we were having. 

As I drove to Denver I could not have known the run and the bike ride would end up being the easy part of the week.  The most physically enduring, exhausting activity, I have ever done, was still to come…

(Due to lack of writing time, part two will appear on Thursday.)