Make Me Laugh Monday- Real Women

(This was sent to me by a friend on my parenting board- thanks Tara!)

Ladies- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it  will absorb the excess salt for an instant  “fix-me-up.” 

Real Women – If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.” 

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Ladies – Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 

Real Women – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares? 
  
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 Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 
    
Real Women – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.   

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 Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. 
 
Real Women – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don’t have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs. 

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 Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the  baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the inside of the cake. 
 
 Real Women – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate the damn thing for you. See! I’m not the only one!   

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 Ladies – Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 
    
 Real Women – Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over them, so don’t do it.  

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 Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish- washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. 
 
Real Women – Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

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And finally the most important tip…. 

   
Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine.   Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 
 
 Real Women – What Leftover wine?? Amen! 

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