The Perfect Race- The Perfect Ending

On Saturday I ran in the Eagle’s Heart 5K race, trying for my fastest 5K time.  My previous record had been 27:07.  In my last post I explained why I wanted to achieve this so much, and the work I was putting in for it.  My dad was also running in this race as his first 5K.  I had a flood of emotions on Friday.  Everything just hit me at once- cancer, my mom, where I had been health-wise last year.  It was a lot to think about.

I was afraid of failing for a reason I describe at the end of this post.  I thought back to all the runs I have done since September.  It occurred to me I have ran in a lot of different conditions.  I’ve run in freezing cold, and heat.  I’ve run when I was feeling great, and when I was feeling bad. I’ve ran fast, and I’ve ran slow.  I’ve ran in pain, and I’ve ran pain free. I’ve ran when I felt like I could go on forever, and I’ve ran where I like I couldn’t take another step.   I told myself I can run in any condition except one- fear.  I was never going to run with fear.

I got up at 6AM on Saturday, and made breakfast for my dad and I.  He made me breakfast for my first race, so I returned the favor.  He arrived at my house at 7, and said he was feeling great.  I had gotten over my funk, and I felt calm and ready.

It was quite a bit cooler and it was windy where the race was being held.  My dad and I warmed up, and walked across the street few minutes to the race site, before it started.  I told my dad I was so proud of him for getting himself in 5K running shape.  He told me I had been his inspiration, and that made me feel good.  He told me not to worry about him, and he’d meet me at the finish line.  A few moments after that, we were off! 

The course started out flat for about 30 seconds, and then there was a hill. I barely noticed it-I just saw the other runners ahead of me running up a hill. It was very satisfying to be able to run up a hill without it affecting my pace.  I didn’t want to get tied to looking at the Garmin, but when I looked at it a few second after the hill, my pace was at 7 minutes a mile.  I was right where I wanted to be. 

I started up at the front.  There were a few men passing me, but no women.  There was a woman who was about a tenth of a mile ahead of me.  She was running really well, and I thought if I could keep the gap between us where it was, I’d be doing really well too. There was enough room on the course to run.  I didn’t have to worry about strollers, or walkers, or having to pass a bunch of people. 

Then I just let everything go from my mind, and ran.  It was like my body took over- it knew what it needed to do. I had done this so many times, and under harder conditions, everything just flowed and came together.  My mind and body were working perfectly.  The first mile seemed to fly by.  I had run it in 7:24.

The second mile had been the hardest in training.  I tended to slow down too much, and then it was hard to pick the pace up again.  The Garmin really came in handy during the second mile.  At times I felt like I was too slow, but I’d look at my pace and see I was actually running faster than I needed to.  I made myself slow down a bit, because we were running down hills, and I knew those would be uphill in the third mile.  The runners who were in the lead started passing us on their return trip back.  I counted the women, and saw there were only 3 of ahead of me.  There had only been a handful of men too, and I started to get excited that I was pretty much in the front of pack.  I passed my dad, and he gave me a thumbs up. 

I was gaining on the woman who had been ahead of me.  We were just starting mile 3, and my pacing was great.  I had planned on running mile 3 in the 9 minute range, but I was running in the low 8 minute range.   After we ran up the hills, and the course evened out, I was starting to get tired. I wanted to try to pass her, but there was still almost a mile to go, and I didn’t want to put the last of my energy into passing her, and then not having enough to finish the race strong.   

I ran a bit slower in the last mile.  But when I came over the last hill, and saw there was about a quarter mile left, I looked at the Garmin and it said 24:24.  I couldn’t believe I had a chance to finish this race in less than 25 minutes!  It was time to give it my all, and go for it! 

It was the moment I had been working and training for.  I sprinted, and ran as fast as I could.  I was getting very tired, but something my friend told me popped in my head, and that was to keep setting goals and keep knocking them down.  I was almost there, and I gave it every last thing I had- I wanted to knock down the 25 minute goal.  I was not going to let that clock turn to 25 minutes, and not be on the other side of the finish line! 

I crossed the finish line, hit stop on my Garmin and it said 24:58.  Emotion hit me then. I had done it, exactly one year after all the uncertainty the cancer diagnosis brought.  But I had just run my perfect race, and the time proved it.  I ran strong, I ran fast, and I and I ran fearlessly.   It was one of the best experiences I have had. 

I drank some water, and then ran back to find my dad to run the rest of the race with him.  I found him with about half a mile to go.  He had taken off his coat and hat and was carrying them.  I took them from him and told him he was almost done.  We ran up that last hill together, and he saw the finish line.  I told him to run, he was almost there, and he was doing great.  He sped up a bit, and crossed the finish line at 33:12.

We were both so happy, and hung around the finish line to cheer for the other racers that were finishing.  As we were getting ready to walk back to the building, they posted the official results.  They had my time at 24:59.  My dad was the top third finisher for his age group, so he was going to get a medal!  (They combined the male and female top finishers for each age group, and they were all men in my age group, so that is why I didn’t qualify for a medal.)

I met up with woman who had been in front of me and I told her she had run a great race.  I told her I had been trying to catch her but couldn’t.  She told me she was glad to hear that, and said she had been worried about me the whole time passing her.  She mentioned she looked behind her throughout the race and saw I was right there.  She said I had been making her run faster, and I told her she had been making me run faster.  It was neat we both pushed each other to do a little better.  

I have not written the main reason why I wanted to break my record in this race.  It was for my boys, Ryan and Cole.  From the moment I found out I had cancer, I worried about them, and how it would affect them.  I worried what their lives would be like if I were sick, or could not maintain my level of activity with them.  Last summer, after my surgery and when my thyroid medication was messed up, I was so sick, and so weak, I could barely take care of them.  They watched me in this state, for almost three months.  They watched me and remember I was too sick to even walk up the stairs.  It was the absolutely worst thing about cancer- not being able to be there for them the way they needed me to. 

I wanted to show them they can overcome the hardest and unexpected obstacles life will throw at them- even cancer.  It might not come easy or instantly, and it might require a lot of hard work, but it is well worth the fight.   I never want them to feel like there is something that they cannot overcome. I wanted to show them, not just tell them, they can fight and work hard, and come back stronger than they were before, and achieve what at times, seems like the impossible. 

That is why I wanted this so much, and worked so hard for it.   So I could make this ending come true for my boys.     

Time: 24:59

Overall: 18th out of 67 runners

Overall Female: 4th out of 26

Female Age Group: 3rd place